86. ஆட்கொள்வாய்!
உன்பெலன் மட்டும் இல்லாவிட்டால்
ஓயாத இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையில்!
உள்ளான மனதில் அமைதி இல்லை
உருண்டோடும் இம்மனித வாழ்வினிலே
நாள்தோறும் என்னை நாடி வருகின்ற
நன்மை-தீமை எண்ணப் போனால்
எண்ண முடியுமோ அனைத்தையும்
என் மனம் அவை நாடிச் செல்வதாலே!
கானல் நீரைத் தேடிய மானைப்போல்
கதறியே என்மனம் ஓடினாலும்
நீர் காணா மான் போல் ஆகிடாது
நிலையான அருளால் வாழ்கிறேனே
என்பெலன் தன்னை நம்பியே நானும்
எதுவரை ஓடிட முயன்ற போதும்
ஆட்கொள்ளும் உந்தன் அன்பினிலே
ஐயனே வாழ்ந்திட அருளைத் தாரும்!.
22-06-1996. பூனே (மகாராஷ்டிரா)
86. Lord Over me!
If I don’t have your strength
In this turbulent world
There could be no peace in my heart
In this passing human life
Is it possible for me to count
The good and bad things
Which come seeking after me
As my heart is longing after them?
Even though my heart too
Chase like a deer after a mirage
Not like that without founding any water
I live because of your unchanging grace.
However I try to run with my own strength
As much as possible
Oh Lord give your grace to live
Through your redeeming love.
22-06-1996. Pune, Maharashtra
When I was staying with one family (I don’t want to disclose their personal names), I arranged a meeting with a few other bhaktas for business matters. But contrary to what I expected there was too much artificiality in the talk and relationship. One new naïve bhakta was confused much as his need in practical matters was never addressed. Then I had to talk a lot with him separately to encourage him and also anchor his bhakti in the Lord than on the vain promises of others. As a young man, wanted to start his own business. He was living in his dream world. Then I have to advise him to be more practical 1and in that context I had to share some dvand (attraction and repulsion) in life. Later when I thought about it, I wrote this song.
Seeking happiness is not merely avoiding sorrows in life but try to accept the duality that joy and sorrow are two sides of the same coin. As I shared before, in every enjoyment the subtle anxiety of losing it will be the pain and every sorrow every effort to remove it will create more longing for happiness. But no human can rise above the duality (dvand) to have a permanent stable mind (stitha prajna). Confidence in the grace of God will anchor us in the Lord. And those who don’t anchor their bhakti in the Grace of God will chase both pleasure and pain and like a deer chasing a mirage will remain dissatisfied in every area of life. This will become true for everyone—irrespective of their particular faith. A close observation of their life made me write this song.
26-7-14
1. Later taking my advice seriously he started his own business with his own meagre personal investment and came up successfully. But in the peak of his successful business he passed away. Though we should expect ‘great’ things from the Lord, yet in life, in every matter our approach should be more realistic. This is true even in relationships.
BT Song 87
87. எல்லாம் அளித்தாய்
உள்ளம் அளித்தாய்
உணர்வும் அளித்தாய்
உன்னருள் தன்னை
உவந்தே அளித்தாய்
எண்ணம் அளித்தாய்
ஏற்றம் அளித்தாய்
ஏழைக்கு இறங்கி
ஞானம் அளித்தாய்
சிந்தை அளித்தாய்
சீலம் அளித்தாய்
சீர்பட வேண்டியே
சித்தம் வைத்தாய்
எல்லாம் அளித்து
ஏழை எனக்கு
உன்னை அளித்தாய்
உவப்பாய் நீயே!
உள்ளம் எண்ணம்
சிந்தை எல்லாம்
உவப்பாய் நானும்
உன்னில் வைக்க
என்றும் வைப்பாய்
என்மீது இறங்கி
ஐயனே உந்தன்
கிருபை தன்னை!
ஈரோடு, 28-08-1996.
87. You bestowed everything
You gave heart
And also a proper sense
To understand
Your grace
You gave me thought
You uplifted me
You bestowed your wisdom
Taking mercy on this poor man
You gave me mind
You gave ethics
You have willed
For me to become upright
After giving everything
To this poor one
You gave yourself
With joy
To keep my
Heart, thought
Mind and others things
Happily in you
You continue to keep
In your grace
By showing mercy
On me always.
Erode, Tamil Nadu, 28-08-1996.
When I was praying for several needs both for me and others, I thanked God for the answer that I received for those prayers. However when I thought about the permanent blessings which accomplish Grace of God even without being asked, I wrote this song. The heart, thoughts, wisdom, ethics, etc. are the common grace of God apart from what He bestowed through His creation for us. Often I take for granted them as if I inherited them because of my birth as a human. Though, heart, mind, ethics, wisdom, etc. are common for every human being, they become fresh for me as they are renewed by the power of transformation through His Words, Spirit and Grace. How many times we take time to think about these gifts in our lives by God. Even all the common grace become special and meaningful when they are regenerated by the Grace of God. Otherwise we will take them for granted as if we inherited them because of some evolutionary process.
27-07-2014
BT Song 88
88. பேதைக்கிறங்கு
தடுத்து நீ ஆட்கொள்ளத்
தலை படாவிட்டால்
கெடுத்து எனில்நானே
கெட்டொழிவேனே!
எடுத்து இனிக்கூறி
இயம்பிட வேண்டுமோ?
வடுக்கள் சுமந்தெனக்காய்
சிலுவையில் தொங்கியவா?
குற்றம் குறைஒன்றோ
கண்டாய் என்மீது
கோடியே அவையாவும்
எண்ணிட முடியாது
அத்தாநீ அத்தனையும்
அறிந்த பின்னாலும்
பித்தன் எனைநீயே
புறப்பதுவும் முறையாமோ?
குறைகூறி உன்னில்
முறை இடவில்லை
குருவே மறுவழியன்றித்
திருவடி வந்தேனே!
என்ன கூறியினி
ஏழை புலம்பிடுவேன்
அண்ணலே ஆட்கொள்வாய்
அன்றுபோல் மீண்டுமெனை
ஞானியும் அல்லநான்
பேதையும் இல்லைஇனி
மனவேழையாய் ஆகிவிட்ட
கோழையே என்றுமினி
பாவிகளைத் தேடியே
பாருலகில் வந்தவனே!
கூறிட தேவையோஎன்
குற்றங்கள் அத்தனையும்?
முப்பத்தி எட்டாண்டு
முடமாகி இருந்தவனை
பரிவோடு தேடிச்சென்று
பாங்கான சுகமளித்தாய்
அத்தனை கருணைஇங்கு
அருளாவிட்டாலும்
ஒரு வார்த்தை கூறியே
உயிர்ப்பிப்பாய் மீண்டுமெனை
நான்கேட்டு நீவந்து
நாதனே உதவிசெய்தால்
கைகொட்டி எக்களிப்பார்
குவலயத்து மாந்தருமே!
மாந்தர் நிலையுணர்ந்து
மனுவாய் வந்த உனக்கு
என்நிலை தெரியாதோ?
ஏனிந்த தாமதமோ?
விட்டுப் பிடிப்பதெல்லாம்
சிறுபிள்ளை விளையாட்டு
இனிவேண்டாம் என்னிடம்
உன் அவ்விளையாட்டு
தட்டுத் தடுமாறி
கரையேறும் முடவனிடம்
இன்னுமா வேடிக்கை
இதுஎன்ன விளையாட்டு?
கூறத் தெரியாமல்
குழந்தைபோல் புலம்புகின்ற
ஏழையென் வார்த்தைகளை
ஏற்கா விட்டாலும்
உன்பக்தன் என்பதனால்
தன்மதிப்பை காத்திடவே
உடனே இரங்கிவிடு
உரிமையால் கேட்கின்றேன்!
தாயைப்போல் என்மீது
நீகொண்ட தயைஎங்கே?
தாசனாம் என்மீது
நீவைத்த பரிவெங்கே?
நேசன்போல் உன்மார்பில்
நான்சாய்ந்த சுகமெங்கே?
நீசனாய் போனதால்
நீயும் கைவிட்டாயோ?
புலம்பித் தவிக்கின்ற
புலையன் மனநிலையை
புரிந்த பின்னாலும்
ஏனிந்த வீண் மௌனம்
ஆயிரம்முறை நான்கூற
அறியாதவன் நீயல்ல
ஆயினும் கூறுகிறேன்
பேதைக்கு நீ இரங்கு!
(ஆயினும் கூறிடுவேன்
பேதைக்கு இரங்கும்வரை)
04-10-1997. மஹரி (ரீவா. ம.பி)
88. Have mercy on this innocent one.
Unless you lordover
To save me
I will get spoiled
Even by myself!
Is it necessary?
To tell this to you
who hung on the cross
by incurring wounds!
Did you find faults?
Are they One or two?
They are millions
And none can count them!
O Master after
Knowing all of them
Is it correct to reject
This made man?
I didn’t come unto you
To blame you
O my guru as there is no other way
I come unto your Holy feet
What else can I say
And how much this poor one can lament?
O noble one redeem me
As you have done in the past
I am neither a wise man
Nor innocent one
But I become a coward
Who is poor in heart?
Is it necessary for me?
Tell all my faults (to you)
The one who came to this world
Seeking after the sinners?
To that person
Who remained a physically disabled for 38 years
You gave him healing
Seeking after him with much compassion
Though you won’t
Bestow that much mercy (for me)
At least revive me again alive
By giving one (encouraging) word
If You come and help O Master
Only after I ask you
The people of this world
Will laugh unto you by clapping their hands
Realizing the nature of human
The one who came as human on this earth
Don’t you know my condition too
Why then this much delay?
It is a childish act on your part
To play like this with me!
Don’t have anymore
Such (hide and seek) play again
What kind of tamasha is this?
With this old lame man (me)
Who tries to reach the shore?
With much struggle and stumbling?
If you don’t accept the words
Of this poor one who
Do not know how to tell
And laments like a child.
In order to save your honor
for having me as your bhakta
show mercy immediately
I demand this as I have the right.
Where is the compassion
That you had on me like a mother
Where is the concern
That you had on this your slave
Where gone my comfort
Which I enjoyed by laying on your chest?
Have you abandoned me?
As I become a mean rascal?
Even after understanding
The heart of this mean one
Who laments with much disturbance
Why this silence on your part?
You are not the one who do not understand
For me to say it repeatedly thousands of times!
But I tell it again
Have mercy on this innocent one
(Yet I will tell you
Until you have mercy on me)
04-10-1997. Mahari, Rewa (M.P.)
In very few songs I managed to pour down my heart with much personal intimacy with the Lord, where I can argue, quarrel, fight and demand Him. This is one such song. This has humor, rebuke, begging, warning, pleading.
This song begins with the concept of God voluntarily stepping in my life and saving me. This is known as ‘Thaduttu aatkolludal’ in Tamil. In a bhakta’s life God has voluntarily stepped in even if she became rebellious and wanted to go away from the Lord. This is one aspect of bhakti tradition in India. So I warn Him that if He can step in my life only after I request, then He will become a laughing stock before the world.
Then I chide Him to have such a childish play of allowing me to go ashtray and then interfering. He cannot do such a thamasha with me who stumbles like an old lame man to reach the shore. Then the mode of the poem changes about regretting about the loss of a relationship like a child with her mother, a slave with her master and the comfort of a friend to fall on the shoulder.
I thank God that I was born as an Indian to understand my relationship through bhakti rather than mere intellectual understanding through doctrines. Though Muktiveda is not portraying all kinds of these relationships and the liberty that a bhakta has with her Lord, yet my bhakti heritage helps me to enjoy my relationship with the Lord through it. Of course each tradition has its own way to understand and follow the Lord that best suits its cultural and social set up. But bhakti as a unique concept which has a personal human touch will only add richness to celebrate our faith in the Lord in a unique way. Someone well said that the church can never write its final chapter on theology without the contribution of a true Indian Christian theology. And for me any Indian theology which is not based on bhakti will never remain true as Indian one.
The concept of bhakti is essential to make theology holistic.
As usual the tempo and meaning of this song cannot be translated by me in English.
26-7-14
BT Song 89
89. போராட்டம்
உன்னோடு போராட வேண்டும்-அது
உவப்பாய் எனக்கிருக்க வேண்டும்
உடலோடு, உளமோடு போராடி ஓய்ந்தபின்
உன்னோடு போராட வேண்டும்!
விட்டேனா பார் உன்னை என்றும்
விடாமல் பிடிவாதமாய் நின்று
போராடியேனும் நான் பெறவேண்டும்
அந்தப் புண்ணியம் நீ தரவேண்டும்
வலியவந்தென்னை ஆட்கொண்டு
உன் வழியை காண்பித்து-அதில்
தொடர்ந்து நான் முன்னேற
தெய்வமே உன் அருள்வேண்டும்
உலகின் போராட்டம் எல்லாம்
ஓயாது ஒருநாளும் தன்னில்-ஆனால்
உன்னோடு போராடி பெற்ற அருளினால்
வெல்வேனே அதனை நான் என்னில்
ஜெய்நகர் (மதுபனி. பீஹார்)17-02-1997.
89. Wrestle
I should wrestle with you
And it should be pleasing one to me
After struggling with my body, heart and become tired
I should wrestle with you
I will never let you go
And adamantly standing firmly
I should get it from you by wrestling
And you should give that punya (merit) (of wrestling with you) to me
Voluntarily coming, you redeemed me
And you showed your way to me
And to make progress in it
O God I need your grace
The struggle in this world will
Never come to an end in one day—but
Through the grace which I received by wrestling with you
I will overcome it within me.
Jaynagar, Madhubani, North Bihar, 17-02-1997.
Some of you might know the story of Panduranga who stood on the brick whole night as per the request of his devotee, who was serving his parents. When …. Vithala (Panduranga) of Pandharpur in Maharashtra came to visit his bhakta; he was messaging his father’s feet. Then he put a brick outside the house and told the Lord to stand on it, not going away till he came back to see him. But he had to serve his father the whole night as he was not well. So the Lord, the story goes, stood on the brick whole night as per the instruction/command of his devotee. Such stories of God doing as per the instruction of his bhaktas are wide spread in various bhakti traditions in India.
So when I was reading about the boxing of Jacob with the Lord, I liked it very much. Even after knowing that it was God with whom he was wrestling, Jacob didn’t allow Him to go unless He blesses him. In a Jewish culture where God is approached with respect and reverence with a sense of Awe and fear, this story came as a surprise to me in the early days. However I liked it very much as it comes very close to our Indian bhakti tradition. As I was demanding God to wrestle with me, I wrote this song.
27-7-14
BT Song 90
90. எது வேண்டும்?
ஓயாத உனதருள் வேண்டும்
உலகம், மாமிசம், பிசாசு என்று
ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் தாக்கிடும் போது
ஒருபோதும் மாறாத உன்னதமான–ஓயாத….
பக்தனாய் வாழ்ந்திட வேண்டும்
பலகற்றுத் தடுமாறும் மதியினை சாராமல்
தடுத்தாட்கொண்ட உன் தயவினால்
மனதுருகி உன் மான்பினை எண்ணிடும்–பக்தனாய்….
முக்தியினை நீயும் அருள வேண்டும்
செத்தபின் செல்லும் சொர்கத்தை எண்ணி
நித்தமும் வாழ்கின்ற நிலையில்லா வாழ்வு
நரகமாய் மாறிடும் நிலையினை மாற்றிடும்–முக்தியினை….
அத்தா வேறென்ன எனக்கு வேண்டும்?
அடியவன் உந்தன் பக்தன் என்றபெயர்
அடையாமல் வேறெந்த மாண்பை நானும்
அறியாமல் கூட மனதினில் நாடாமல்–அத்தா….
05-04-1997. மன்கவா (ரீவா. ம.பி)
90. My desire
I need the unceasing grace of yours
When the world, flesh and devil
Attack me on each day
The unchanging noble (grace I need every day)
I should live as a bhakta
Not depending upon by buddhi which stumbles after learning so many things
By the mercy which redeemed me
I should have a melting heart to think about your greatness—I should live as a bhakta
You should bestow mukti which will change my situation
As I always thinking about the heaven
Which one would attain after the death
But making the life as a hell
O Lord what else I require
Not even thinking in my heart any other thing
Which will change my status?
as your bhakta
05-04-1997. Mangaon, Rewa, M. P.
When Siva asked Owaiyar what is the boon that she would like to receive from Him, she said: I don’t want rebirth again; even if I have to take another birth, I should never forget you’. In Thevaram, Tirunavukkarasar (Appar) declares his desire for human birth in Koil Tiruviruttam, to behold the beauty of Nataraja (Siva); “Birth as a human being is desirable after beholding Nataraja” . Because life as a devotee gives that opportunity more than attaining mukti. Tulsidas says that Rama may grant mukti some time, but rarely bhakti.
When Murugan asked Owaiyar ‘which is the greatest thing on earth’, she responded:
Avvaiyar: if you ask which one is the greatest (Oh one who holds a spear?)
The universe is the greatest (biggest) one
Universe is the creation of Brahma
Brahma emerged from the navel of Vishnu
Vishnu dwells in the sea
The sea is a part on the head of snake (Adishesha, which bears the entire earth on its head)
The snake is the ring of the little finger of Uma (Consort of Siva)
Uma is part of Siva (as she shares the left side of His body)
Siva dwells in the heart of the devotees
Therefore telling the glory of the devotee is the greatest one.
For me too more than anything else, to call myself as a bhakta of Muktinath is all sufficient in my life. This song brings this longing in my life. In India, while great acharyas like Sankara are praised for his knowledge and intellect, most of the saints were remembered only for their bhakti and not for their bhajans and other writings which they left behind them. Though Saint Thyagaraja left hundreds of kirtan in Carnatic music, he is glorified more for his Rama-bhakti than for his ability to write and compose kirtans. Meera is known as Bhakta Meera, like Bhakta Ramdas, Except Sankara, in other Vedanta schools like Vishishdadvaita their acharyas are revered not only for their philosophical contribution to their tradition, but their personal piety towards their chosen deities. Even some followers of Sankara will attribute several of his devotional works (which are questioned by serious scholars) like Soundarya Lakahari, Ananda Lahari, Bhaja Govindam, Kanakadhara Stotram etc. to point out his devotion to deities. However this is explained away by his orthodox followers that in order to accommodate the need of common people he established the worship of several deities (known as Panchayatana puja) but in his scheme of Siddhanta (end of truth) there is no place for God.
Well purvamimamsikas also didn’t give much importance to gods and there were several such schools of thought in India. However the greatness and influence of bhakti made several saints identify themselves as bhaktas than acharyas or philosophers.
29-07-2014
முருகன்: பெரியது எதுவோ
ஔவையார்: பெரியது கேட்கின் வரிவடிவேலோய்
பெரிது பெரிது புவனம் பெரிது
புவனமோ நான்முகத்தான் படைப்பு
நான் முகனோ கரியமால் உந்தியில் வந்தோன்
கரிய மாலோ அலைகடலுல் ஒடுக்கம்
அலைகடலோ அரவின் தலைக்கொரு பாகம்
அரவோ உமையவள் சிறுவிரல் மோதிரம்
உமையோ இறைவன் பாகத்துள் ஒடுக்கம்
இறைவனோ தொண்டர் உள்ளத்துள் ஒடுக்கம்
தொண்டர் தம் பெருமையை சொல்வதும் பெரிதே—This is from the film Thiruvilayadal, quoted from memory.
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