Song 171
171 போராட்டம்
சுமக்கச் சொன்னதை
சுமந்து தான் ஆகணும்
சோதனை தன்னை
வென்று தான் தீரணும்
எவரைச் சொல்லி
பயனேதும் இல்லை
இடிந்து கிடந்தால்
மீள்வதும் இல்லை
போராட்டம் இன்றி
வாழ்ந்தவர் இல்லை
போராட்டம் இல்லாமல்
வாழ்வும் இல்லை
போராடிப் போராடி
ஓய்ந்தே போயினும்
தப்பித்து மீண்டவர்
எவருமே இல்லை
போராட்டம் வாழ்வில்
புதிதா என்ன
பிறந்த போதே
வந்தது தானே
போகும் மட்டும்
விட்டுப் போகாது
போன பின்னாலும்
முடிந்து போகாது
போராட வென்று
பிறந்த பின்னாலே
பின்னிட்டுப் பார்த்தால்
பயனே இல்லே
தலைமுறை தோறும்
தொடர்ந்து வருவதால்
தவித்துப் புலம்பியும்
பயனேதும் இல்லை
அள்ள அள்ள
குறைவதும் இல்லை
அழிக்க முயன்றும்
தீர்வது இல்லை
நம்பங்கை நாமும்
நலமாய் முடித்தாலும்
அடுத்தவர் பங்கை
ஏற்க முடியலை.
குருகுலம், 31-5-16, காலை, 7.00
171 Struggle
We need to carry
Which we ought to carry
We need to overcome
All kind of trials
There is no point
In blaming others
And if we become agitated
We cannot overcome it.
There is none
Who lived without some struggle?
There is no life
Without any struggle
Though we become tired
After struggling continuously
There is none who
Escaped from this
Is struggle
New in life
As it came
Along with us when we born
It won’t go
Till we die
And it won’t end
Even after we have gone
Once we born
To struggle
There is no point of
Turning back
As it comes
Generation after generation
There is no point in
Getting frustrated
It won’t diminish
Even if we overcome some
How much we try
It never destroyed
Though we managed
To do our part well
We cannot bear
Other’s share
Gurukulam, 31-5-16, 7.00 am
The advancement in age and limitation of body several times does not allow me to accept several responsibilities simultaneously. At the same time as I have committed already, I cannot escape from it. Taking care of my mother, entertaining guests, planning the next meeting, looking after the property (by giving instructions to the helpers what to do and what not to do etc. @) become more a burden than a joyful event. Since I came here on 22nd hardly I managed to read three pages in the book and wrote only one song. Then I began to blame other responsibilities and extra work. But when I went for my morning walk, I said automatically in Tamil that I have to carry the burden which I am expected to carry and there is no escape from this till the end of my life. Then I wrote this song.
@ Though we pumped the water to the overhead tank from the sump, even after one hour the tank was not filled. Then I realized there is some problem. Then I asked the helper to go and check whether the pump is working or not. He went and came and said that it is working. But still the tank is not filled. Then I told him to go to the roof to see whether the water was falling in the tank or not. Then he went and said that though the motor is running the water is not going to the tank. Then I have to remind him, which I told several times that due to foot wall problems we need to pour water in the motor before we switch it on. I also made a special provision for it to pour water easily. But he cannot remember all these things. Without keeping this in mind if we continue to pump it will burn and then we need to send it for repair and all the etc. work. So, we need to be alert on small things which the helpers won’t care much about. I came on 22nd but I cannot pump the water from the bore well due to a switch board problem and it took two days for me to get the correct person to fix it. This is just one example of taking care of everything in such a huge property and the burden of maintenance. Others though know about all the issues in maintaining any huge property but they cannot understand my lack of interest in such maintenance. I never try to run away from any responsibility. At the same time, I cannot accept all kinds of responsibility to which I am not called for. Though I am not committed, at present I cannot even escape from it. This is just one such example of so many extra burdens which I am forced to carry.
As the wooden frame in the window for mosquito mesh is destroyed by the white ants, I have to think and arrange alternative methods and see that it is done properly. But I am not interested in such work. At the same time, I have no respite. So, the struggle goes on.
As Rajesh came and stayed for two weeks, then I assigned that responsibility, viz., pouring the water and then pumping to him.
Song 172
172 புரியாத கேள்வி
எது இங்கு உண்மை
எனக்கு புரியல
எப்படிப் பார்த்தாலும்
ஒன்னும் விளங்கல
யோசித்துப் பார்க்கவும்
எனக்கும் முடியல
எப்படிச் சொன்னாலும்
முழுதும் விளங்கல
இக்கரைக் கக்கரை
நிச்சயம் பச்சை
ஆயினும் நெருங்கினால்
பசுமையோ தெரியல
தூரத்து ஓசையோ
இதமா இருக்கு
கிட்ட வந்தாலோ
காதை கிழிக்குது
இடத்தை மாற்றினால்
எண்ணம் மாறுமா
கேட்டது கிடைத்தாலும்
விருப்பம் தீருமா
அடைந்தபின் இருந்த
விருப்பமும் போனது
அடையா வற்றில்
ஆர்வம் பெருகுது
இறுதியில் இதற்கு
விடையுமே என்ன
அதையும் அறிய
வழிதான் என்ன
கேள்வியே இன்னும்
புரியாத போது
விடை மட்டும்
தேவையா என்ன
1-6-16, இரவு, 11.00 குருகுலம்.
172 A question which is not clear
Which one is true here?
I don’t understand it
Nothing is clear
However, I approach it
I find it difficult
Even to think about it
However, I tell it
It is still not clear to me
The other side of the fence
Is always green
But when I go close
I cannot see the greenery
Distant sound is
Very soothing
But when comes close
It tears my ears.
Will thoughts change?
Once we change the place
Will desire come to an end?
After receiving all
Once I received them
The desire is gone
But longing increases
For those which is not yet received
What is the final
Answer for this
What is
The means to receive it
When the question
Itself is not clear
What is the need?
For any answer
1-6-16, 11.00 pm, Gurukulam
As I sat quietly immersing myself in the silence around me here in the ashram, several times I cannot believe that I am here. I heard only the noise of the wall clock doing the ‘tick tick’. Except it, everywhere it was pin drop silence. Then I began to compare it with my life at Mathigiri. After a few minutes I realized that instead of enjoying the present silence and solitude I began to compare the merit and demerit of my life here and at Mathigiri and thereby I miss the opportunity to live in the present.
Several times in life we miss the joy and peace in the present by living either in the past or in future. Merely change of place or people we are not going to gain what we wish for. Comparison always deprives us of tranquillity in life. But for me to overcome this there is no solution as the question is not very clear: how to do it?
Song 173
173 வேறு வழி இல்லை
நியாயம் அநியாயம்
நாமும் பார்க்கிறோம்
நன்மைகள் செய்யத்தான்
நாளுமே விழைகிறோம்
ஆயினும் நம் செயல்
அடுத்தவர் கேற்காது
அவர் கூறும் விளக்கமும்
நமக்கு புரியாது
நம்பக்க நியாயம்
பிறரேற்க முடியாது
அவர் தேவை அனைத்தையும்
நிறைவேற்ற முடியாது
இருவரும் தம் நிலை
விட்டு இறங்கணும்
இடையில் எங்கேனும்
ஒத்துழைத் தாகணும்
நம்பங்கை நாமும்
நலமாய் நிறைவேற்றி
தம்பங்கை பிறர் செய்ய
நாமும் விட வேண்டும்
அவர் செயல் அனைத்திலும்
அடிக்கடி தலையிட்டால்
இறுதியில் இருவரும்
ஏமாற்றம் அடையணும்
இது ஒன்றும் புதிதான
நிலைப்பாடு இல்லை
இதைவிட்டால் முன்னேற
வழியேதும் இல்லை
இதுவரை வென்றவர்
இதைத்தான் செய்தார்
நாம் மட்டும் முரண்பட
எவரென்ன செய்வார்
குருகுலம், 2-6-16, காலை, 7.00
173 No other way
We try to see
Good and bad (in our actions)
We try to do
Some good to others
But our actions remain
Unacceptable to others
The explanation they give
Is not acceptable to us
Others cannot
Accept our point of view
We cannot accomplish
All their needs
Both should come down
From their position
Both should co-operate
Somewhere in the middle
Doing our part
In a proper way
We should allow
Others to do their part
If we began to interfere
In all that they do
Then at the end both
Should be disappointed
This is not a
Strange situation
Apart from this
There is no other way for progress
All those who were successful has
Done the same
What can anyone do more?
If we began to it differ with them
Gurukulam 2-6-16, 7.00 a.m.
As I want to help a boy to do his further studies after his two attempts to pass the 12th exams failed, I pointed out that his ambition to do higher studies beyond his capacity won’t be helpful for him. Knowing his limitations, he should choose such a course in which he can complete successfully and from there he can go step by step. However, his parents and he because of peer pressure aimed for higher studies which he will never clear successfully. Though I am going to help him financially, yet I tried to strike a balance not pushing too much and giving him freedom to choose after making things clear to him. All those who succeeded in life kept a balance and those who violated ended in a mess.
This is a reality in our relationship with others too. In dealing with others, we need to keep a balance to point out everybody’s limitations. At the same time not poking our nose in every detail of their choice.
Song 174
174 வேடிக்கையான வாழ்க்கை
வேடிக்கையான உலகமிது
விந்தையான வாழ்க்கையிது
வாடிக்கையாகிப் போனதினால்
வழக்கம் போல் ஓடியது
தத்தும் பேசிப் பயனில்லை
தர்க்கம் செய்தும் முடியவில்லை
எத்தனை முறை எண்ணினாலும்
எட்டும் இரண்டும் பத்தேதான்
சிரிக்கும் போது சிரித்திடனும்
அழும் போது அழுதிடனும்@
இரண்டையும் ஒன்றாய்க் கலந்துவிட்டால்
ரெண்டுங்கெட்டான் ஆயிடனும்
வருவதை தடுக்க வழியில்லை
வந்ததை மாற்றிப் பயனில்லை
வழக்கம் போல வாழ்ந்துவிட
வீம்புக்கு இங்கே இடமில்லை
யோசித்து பார்க்க புரியாது
பேசிப் பார்க்க தீராது
போகிற போக்கில் வாழ்ந்துவிட
புலம்பலுக்கிடமும் கிடையாது
எப்படியோ நான் வாழ்ந்துவிட்டேன்
ஏதும்புரியா திருந்துவிட்டேன்
எஞ்சிய வாழ்வும் அதுபோலே
போகுமென்றே நம்பிவிட்டேன்
2-6-16, குருகுலம், இரவு, 10-50
174 Life is funny
It is a funny world
Life is with full of surprises
As it becomes a routine one
It goes as usual
There is no use of philosophising it
No conclusion will be reached by arguing
How many times you add
Eight plus two will be always ten
When you need to laugh you have to laugh
When you have to weep you have to weep
If you mingle both of them together
Then you will become a semi-crack
There is no means to stop which will come
There is no use in changing what already has come
If we live as usual
There is no place for confrontation
One cannot understand it by thinking
Cannot be resolved by talking about it
As we learn to live as the life comes
There is no place for lamentation
Somehow, I have lived so far
And remained an ignorant person
I hope that the rest of the life too
Will go like that.
2-6-16, Gurukulam, 10-50 pm.
After my regular reading when I was just thinking about the way life is going both as a regular one at the same time with surprise with each movement, I find this life on earth is both a tamasha (fun) and full of surprises. But when I look back on my life, I am not sure I understood it properly. Anyhow as I managed to live so far, I think the rest of the life too will go as usual, full of surprises and as a tamasha (fun).
Song 175
175 ஓடுகிறேன்
எழுதி எழுதி ஓய்ந்து போனார்
எண்ணி எண்ணி மாய்ந்து போனார்
படித்துப் படித்து குழம்பிப் போனார்
பாவம் அவர்தாம் என்ன செய்வார்
சும்மா இருக்க தெரிய வில்லை
சித்தத்தை அடக்க முடிய வில்லை
எத்தையாவது செய்து கொண்டு
என்னமோ உலகில் வாழ்ந்து விட்டார்
நானும் கூட அப்படித்தான்
நாளும் பொழுதும் வாழ்ந்திருக்கேன்
அவரை சொல்லி என்ன பயன்
அதைவிட குழம்பிப் போயிருக்கேன்
சும்மா இருப்பது என்னவென்று
சுத்தமாய் எனக்கு புரியவில்லை
சுறுசுறுப் பாக வாழ்ந்திருந்தால்
எவ்விதப் பயனும் காணவில்லை
ஆயினும் ஒன்று புரியவில்லை
அதைக்கூட சொல்லத் தெரியவில்லை
எதையோ தேடி ஓடுகிறேன்
எதுவென இன்னும் புரியவில்லை
என்று ஓட்டம் நின்றிடுமோ
அன்று நிச்சயம் புரிந்துவிடும்
அதனால் வேகமாய் ஓடுகிறேன்
சீக்கிரம் அதனை புரிந்துகொள்ள
குருகுலம், 4-6-16, மாலை, 5-45
175 Running
They become tired by writing so many things
By thinking so many things they are worn-out
They are confused by reading so many things
Poor fellows, what else can they do?
They don’t know to keep quiet
Unable to control their mind
Somehow, they lived on this earth
By doing something
I too the same
I also have similar life
What is the use of talking about them?
I become confused more than others
What does it mean to remain ‘quiet?’
I don’t know about it completely
By remaining very busy
I don’t find any use
But nothing become clear
Unable to tell even that properly
I am running chasing after something
Unable to understand what is it
When the race will complete
That day I will understand it definitely
That is why I am running very fast
To understand it very quickly.
Gurukulam, 4-6-16, 5-45 pm.
I always plan my day in short span. This evening when I went for my walk, then planned about the rest of the evening. Most of my plan will go for 30 minutes to 45 minutes. That time suddenly I thought about my father, who managed to spend several hours practically doing nothing. This I have closely observed at Chidambaram. After his routines and if had some auditing works, he will look after them. When he is free, he will sit in the veranda looking at the sky or simply sitting—not reading or talking with anyone. When he needs a cup of water, he won’t even ask me or my mother, but will come inside the house and drink and then go back to sit in the veranda. Those days we don’t have T.V. Even though he had a radio, sometime he will listen 10 minutes news or some music program—if it good. No newspaper also came to our house. Whereas inside the house I read books for several hours. My mother will be busy with her work or will go to meet other people in the neighbourhood.
But why I cannot live like him but have to plan each second of my life with some activity? After returning from my walk, I further reflected and wrote this song. And naturally I dedicate this to the memory of my father and many people like him who knew the art of not becoming ‘workaholic’. Now my brother is almost doing the same.
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