Became an orphan
Last year this time I was with my mother. But in the last ten days of her life we both struggled a lot [16th to 26th]. Though I have done my best, still several times I feel remorse by saying to my mother, ‘forgive me for the troubles that I gave you in the last ten days by taking you various places [Care home in Bangalore five days, 16 to 19, Hospital in Thally, 19th to 22 and back to ashram on 22nd] by disturbing too much’.
Though I enjoy my quiet time and living alone now here in the ashram, my life together with my mother here often brings back so many memories and I cry, unable to accept her loss. Then this evening when I had my dinner I said, ‘it is better to be born as an orphan, though cruel one for every child, than living with one’s mother for a long time and finally losing her’. Unable to control my tears, I wrote this song pouring down my heart. At the same time I will agree that it is better to lose one’s mother after enjoying her love, care and affection than to be born an orphan. Once a mother is gone, one becomes an orphan—though other relatives might be in their life.
BT Song 1532 Became an orphan
Without mother
All the goodness in life is gone
Though this is
True on this earth
Other than one who
Actually lost his/her mother
Who else can
Understand this tragedy
Born to a mother
And after living with her
Losing her forever
Is cruel indeed
It is better to lose mother
Immediately after born
This might become
Good for few
But none should
Undergo such a tragedy in life
Similarly no one should have
This kind of tragedy also
But what else can one do
As God alone can decide
Who would be gone first
And then who?
How to make him
To understand that
It is better to go
Together with one’s mother
Though all the avataras
Took place through a mother
In Reality He never knew
A mother’s affection
What is the use of
Asking him one who doesn’t know that
And how is it possible for him
To help us
We have to live thinking
‘let the life go as it goes
When our time comes
Let also go’
Till then we have
To shed tears
Often thinking
About the mother whom we lost
Gurukulam, 10-12-2023, 7.50 p.m.
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