Dress Code

Our (Indian tradition) keeps certain (traditional) values which cannot be changed overnight in order to accommodate the modern views (and need) in life.  One such value is the dress code.  Which dress is used on which occasion is not decided by any individual but handed over by the tradition?  Of course it never remained an arbitrary one but always accommodated the demand of the time.  For example, in marriage dhoti (in South India) and sari is used during the main event of tying the thali.  But in reception modern dress is allowed.  In the same way those who participate in the main event also expected to come with proper dress.  In the name of personal freedom or modern trend and need one is not expected to come even to the reception with half pants.  But when we point out such wrong things which sometimes happen, then we are accused of imposing our arbitrary views or become very dogmatic, even regimental.  The worst scenario is when such dresses are even defended by women by saying that half pants is better than the dhoti as the latter exposes thy more than the dhoti.  The main point here is not: which dress exposes the body part more but which dress is appropriate for certain occasions like marriage and puja, visiting temple, guru, ashram etc.

Traditionally strict dress code is imposed on people, particularly for some events.  Even recently the Chief Secretary of Tamilnadhu Government issued a notice to the staff of the Secretariat about the strict dress code for men and women.  The same is the case for several secular institutes like schools and colleges.  We need not mention religious events like pujas.  Most of the temples belonging to every religion have their own strict dress code.  In several Hindu temples one won’t be allowed even to enter inside the temple if a person is not wearing appropriate dress prescribed by the temple tradition and authorities (like Guruvayur temple, Padmanabha temple in Thiruvananthapuram, Sikh gurudwaras etc.).  Even the so-called western religion like Christianity, I don’t think, at least in India no grown up man will come with Bermudas for the church service or be allowed to do so.  Of course few churches would allow it. 

Of course certain dress codes are allowed for specific people like Hindu priests who participate in the pujas not covering his entire body above his waist exposing it before every one, particularly women. One time the famous Tamil orator Sri Suki Sivam in one of his programmes even said that we must ask the priests to cover their chest with a thin towel rather than allowing them to expose it before the women. Even as a Sannyasi I have every right to go round in every function exposing my upper part of the body as it is traditionally allowed and no one can question him. But keeping modesty, even in hot weather I come completely covering my entire body (including my head—this is a joke).  What I cannot understand is that even if that young man wears the dhoti and if it gets separated it is not going to expose more than what he already exposed by wearing his Bermudas!!!!  Even in some western countries where nudity is openly celebrated with childlike innocence, it is still not allowed in public places.

Before closing I would like to quote what Bailey says about dress code:

…The guest who attends a wedding banquet without a wedding garment (Mt. 22:11-12) could be described as askhemonos.  The flippant comment, “I don’t care how I look” is not a mark of humility but a lack of love.  Others are obliged to look at the person who doesn’t care, and thereby he or she is inflicting psychic pain on them.  For love’s sake I will dress in a manner that signals my love and respect for those around me. My freedom to dress as I choose must always be conditioned by my love for others.  Love is concerned for the other (not the self) in all matters related to personal appearance and lifestyle. {The Hymn to Love. 1 Cor. 12:31-14:1.}— Kenneth E. Bailey, Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes: Cultural studies in 1Corinthians, Downers Grove, Illinois, IVP Academic, p. 370

We should not forget the golden rule that OUR FREEDOM ENDS AT THE BEGINNING OF ANOTHER MAN’S NOSE.  But in a changing scenario where anything and everything is allowed and even defended (that too by women) there is no point in talking about modesty and common courtesy.  Better keep quiet than try to change and challenge them.  As I was thinking about it, I wrote the song 511.  The issue here is not the generation gap but keeping other’s welfare and public interest. But such issues are always discussed because of the ‘generation gap’.   If a person wants to rest and relax then he or she is free to do so in any manner in her personal space and life but not in public.  Religious functions and places are not the place for it and they should go to resorts to rest and relax in any dress they want rather than visiting religious places and institutions.  And when others refuse to understand and oblige, knowing that such things will always come, we alone should keep away from such controversies. 

One time in a marriage I noticed that after the reception and dinner some young men changed their dress which they used for reception and changed to half pants.  Neither I nor any one objected to it as it happened after the event. But when one insists on wearing some inappropriate dress for any occasion which is defended by others, then the best option left for the old generation like me is to close our eyes and mouth shut and try to keep away from such events as much as possible. 

 Mathigiri, 4-6-2019,