Long before one of my sashays (he is no more now), while sitting with me, suddenly got down from the sofa (in which we were sitting) and sat on the floor and said, ‘Swamiji I am really a humble person’. Then with a simile I said, ‘That others have to say. The moment if you realize that you are a humble person, that shows your arrogant nature. A really humble person won’t even realize that he is humble. Others should realize and applaud the humility in him.
We all have our ego. One time or other we naturally show it to someone particularly comparing us with him. Realizing our arrogance when the other person leaves us, then not having anyone to compare, we have to compare ourselves. That time we might get irritated even with us. Even Mahatma Gandhiji was no exception to this. He opposed Subash Chandra Bose to become the Congress President and worked hard to defeat him, which led the Bose to even leave Congress. Ego is behind every split beginning from the family, community, society, political party, in religion and even in the so called spiritual community. Even when some reconcile just to survive, there always will be some subtle tension and any small event or remark will trigger it again leading to permanent partition.
This morning when I received a wonderful sculpture in which one man drag a cart keeping his own big head beyond the proportion of his body still remain connected with his neck but remains on the cart with the message in Hindi ‘mera ahankar hii mera bhoj hai’, [my ego/pride is my burden], I began to contemplate on it. The one who created it is a remarkable artist. In one sculpture he conveyed this beautiful message. As I was much impressed by it, I wrote this song reflecting on this subject. I lost that photo now. If possible I will try to get it back.
When I shared this poem with comments in whatsapp one person from Jharkhand agreeing with me, sent a counter view which reads: One who walks alone need not be a proud person, but most of the time he is sufficient on his own in several endeavours. [अकेले चलने वाले घमंडी नहीं होते, वो दरअसल हर काम मे अकेले ही काफी होते है…]
But there is a difference living with ego and one has to walk alone in several circumstances. Particularly a leader often needs to walk alone, as she needs to take certain decision keeping the common interest of all than hesitating to hurt the feeling of anyone individual or few. So sometime some of her actions or words might look an expression of arrogance or pride, but that is the integral part of leadership. But a person living with ego will end up carrying her burden till the end most of the times.
Another person from South after reading this sent a message: Are you ok. Because as I used first person singular (I) and not plural (we) he thought that I am suffering some kind of isolation and carrying some burden of my own ego. But in writing poems when we use high ethical view criticizing others, it is better use first person singular (I) than we or they. Super imposing other’s problem and worries is part of writing poem. This does mean that I am an egoless person. But I am not suffering by carrying any burden because of it.
Mathigiri, 27-06-2019
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