BT Song 1106
This is the problem with God. When we never sought her, she comes and knocks on the door for us to open. When we allow her to come and have fellowship with us, she becomes very busy attending to the needs of others, forgetting our bhakti. This kind of sulking is part of the bhakti tradition. After closing my regular reading, as I was contemplating the previous song which I wrote to complain to her that despite my obedience, she despises my bhakti. Again, as inspiration came, I wrote this song and, after reading it as my prayer for the day, went to bed, but continued to contemplate on the same thought for a long time until I fell asleep. (As Chakravarthy and I decided to redeem God from male chauvinists, we began to call God “she” again in some poems.)
BT Song 1106 – Don’t Neglect Me
1.
Why do you come uninvited,
Yet delay when I call you with love?
I’ve left the door open,
Waiting for you to arrive,
Watching the path,
Hoping for your presence.
2.
Sure, you have
A thousand worries,
But what about the one who invites?
Don’t they matter too?
When everyone finds time,
Why forget the servant?
What’s the reason?
3.
Do I come and complain,
Like others do?
Did I ever say
What you gave wasn’t enough?
Did I ever ask for more,
Or request anything else from you?
4.
Whatever you do,
I accept as right,
I know nothing else,
But your will.
Always wanting to serve,
I stood before you,
With folded hands.
5.
But now,
Things have gone wrong,
Because I am a servant,
You neglect me.
But even a servant
Has some rights.
Knowing this
Would be good for you.
6.
You gave me the blessing
Of being a devotee,
And the grace
To practice devotion.
Don’t forget this,
Come when I call,
Without delay.
Mathigiri, 27-06-2019, 11:50 PM
BT Song 1106 – Don’t Neglect
1.
When you come without me calling,
Why delay when I invite you with love?
I kept the door open,
Waiting for you to come,
Watching the path,
I was waiting for you.
2.
Alright, you have
A thousand worries,
But what about the inviter,
Don’t they count too?
When everyone has time,
Why forget the servant?
What’s the reason?
3.
Do I come and complain,
Like others?
Did I ever say,
What you gave wasn’t enough?
Did I ever ask you,
For more needs?
Did I ever request,
Anything else from you?
4.
Whatever you do,
I say it’s right,
Except your wish,
I know nothing else,
Always wanting to serve,
I stood before you,
With folded hands.
5.
But now,
It has gone wrong,
Because I am a servant,
You neglect me,
But even a servant,
Has some rights,
Knowing this,
Would be good for you.
6.
You gave me,
The blessing of being a devotee,
And the grace,
To practice devotion,
Don’t forget this,
Come when I call,
Without any delay.
Mathigiri, 27-06-2019, 11:50 PM
BT Song 1107
These days, both in my thinking and writing, I contemplate the reality of this human life, which is not maya but a blessing from God. God never rejects the physical needs of our life. In fact, when even a small need is denied, that disturbs us more. So each day, I enjoy my life on this earth as if mukti has already begun here for me. But I need more of God’s grace to realize and enjoy it.
BT Song 1107 – I Seek Your Grace
1.
To serve at your feet,
I need your grace sweet.
God, grant it each day,
Guide me on the way.
When my troubled mind,
Finds peace in your light,
Through all of my days,
I’ll praise you, my guide.
2.
When I recall the good,
You’ve bestowed, understood,
My heart overflows,
With gratitude that shows.
Seeing your care so near,
Brings me to tears sincere,
For your love so clear.
3.
As I uncover the secret,
Of your grace that’s constant,
I’m humbled and moved,
By your love so profound.
Thinking of your ways,
My voice fails to say,
My awe and my praise.
4.
Human life, once small,
In your grace stands tall.
You revealed the worth,
Of living on this earth.
You taught me to see,
The depth of humanity,
And granted me life,
In your guiding light.
5.
This is all I seek,
To live humbly and meek,
To serve you with my all,
Answering your call.
So grant me your grace,
To walk with you each day,
In your love, I find my place.
Mathigiri, 7-7-2019, Night, 11:00 PM
BT Song 1107 – I Need Grace
1.
To serve your holy feet,
I need your grace.
God, you must give it,
Every day.
My troubled mind,
Should find clarity,
And always,
Praise you.
2.
When I think of the good,
You have done,
My heart melts,
And sings your praise.
Seeing your daily protection,
My eyes,
Fill with tears.
3.
When I understand the secret,
Of my salvation,
My body weakens,
And I get goosebumps.
Thinking about it,
And coming to you,
My tongue falters,
And I stand sobbing.
4.
Human life,
Seemed worthless,
But you changed
This foolish thought.
You showed me the greatness,
Of living a human life,
And gave me salvation,
To witness.
5.
This is enough,
What more do I need?
I just need to bow,
And serve you.
For that, you too,
Must give your grace,
So I can live with you,
Every day.
Mathigiri, 7-7-2019, Night, 11.00
BT Song 1108
These days, I have stopped writing poems. I find them mere routine and rhetorical. Even when inspiration comes, I deliberately change my thoughts, and when my mind pesters me to write, I take other books to read. Some poems I write within a few minutes as the words continue to flow, and other times I have to hunt for words and thoughts. Above all, I need not follow any formality when I have fellowship with the Lord—like uttering some words as prayer or writing some songs as meditation. But this night, when I took Muktiveda to read, I realized that the Lord is not responding to my fellowship with him. I feel that he has become upset and keeps a long face. So I began to inquire about it with him. But still, he remained silent, not responding. Then I thought that he was not happy that I stopped writing poems and that he wants to listen to a few more, however rhetorical they are. So, in order to pacify him, I wrote this song and then read my regular portion of Muktiveda and other books. Though I tried to spare him by not making him listen to my songs, he is not ready to listen to me. Then let him face the consequences.
BT Song 1108 Ok I will write
1.
Your face, when I behold,
Whenever you draw near,
Why do Uou turn away,
Is what I often fear.
2.
Speaking to you, I find,
As you come into sight,
Softly flows my voice,
In your presence, bright.
3.
Do I lack rights, from you,
Do I not belong,
By speaking of our bond,
Have I been so wrong?
4.
Have I lacked in devotion,
Lost faith along the way,
Without walking the path,
Did I lose a day?
5.
Though I understand myself,
And know my own mind,
Why then must You continue,
This deceit, unkind?
6.
Whenever you’re in my thoughts,
Sweet words I long to say,
With a veena softly played,
I wish to express this way.
7.
Any new song I may write,
Without words penned in ink,
Can you stay by my side,
Without needing to rethink?
8.
In these verses that I write,
What purpose do they serve,
How much should I share,
For the truth to preserve?
9.
Without becoming any use,
Without time to pass us by,
Is there something more we learn,
As the moments fly?
10.
Even if I attempt to write,
When I strive and try,
Will these words I write,
Show the truth I imply?
11.
Why this pampering, I wonder,
Why this heartfelt plea,
Even if it’s all in vain,
Is it all because of me?
12.
Even if it’s just a song,
If it’s something you require,
Let me speak these words to you,
With kindness and desire.
13.
So let me be honest now,
In this song I’ve penned,
In every verse and melody,
My feelings I extend.
Madhigiri, 14-7-2019, 10:35 PM
BT Song 1108 Ok I will write
1.
When I see your face,
Whenever you come,
I wonder why
You turn away.
2.
When I speak to you,
When you come near,
My voice becomes soft,
That’s what I say.
3.
Do I have no rights,
Do I not belong to you?
By speaking of our relationship,
Is it a mistake?
4.
Have I lacked devotion,
Have I lost my faith,
Without treading the path,
Have I spent a day?
5.
Even though I understand myself,
Even though I realize my mind,
Why should You
Continue this deception?
6.
Whenever I remember you,
I wish to speak sweetly,
With a veena in hand,
I want to talk.
7.
Any new song,
Without writing,
Can you keep yourself,
Still here?
8.
In writing,
Should I write?
How much should I write,
Is there any use?
9.
Without becoming mere waste,
There is no time,
Some use,
We see in it.
10.
Even if I write,
When trying,
Any words,
Can we see them?
11.
Why this pampering,
Why this appeal,
Even though you are,
Are you to blame?
12.
Even if the song,
If necessary,
Just tell it,
And what about mercy?
13.
Let’s be honest,
Now I write,
In the meantime, as a song,
I’ll show you what I wrote.
Madhigiri, 14-7-2019, 10:35 PM
BT Song 1109
After reading the above Purandara Dasa (Devaranama) poem, I immediately stopped my reading and wrote this poem. As I often repeat, for me, mukti is to be realized while we are living in this body on this earth amidst all the chaos and confusion. As God never rejected matter, he wants us to experience his blessing in every form while we are living in this physical body. A bodiless, transcendental, super-sense spirituality is mere imagination. So, like Purandara Dasa, I too often request God to come and mingle with me while I live in this body, and when I experience his presence, along with my atman, my body is also overwhelmed by his presence—even if it remains for a fraction of a second.
Those who know Kannada are fortunate to enjoy this poem in the original and Telugu to enjoy Annamacharya’s songs in Telugu.
This is a joke:
But if they do not know the only divine and heavenly language, yes, you understood correctly—TAMIL; there is no use in knowing any other language on this earth. Blessed are those who know Tamil and fortunate are those who know all other languages. And it is a blessed fortune if one knows Tamil and other languages.
…Bhagavan and bhakta, mutually inseparable Lord and devote, call each other into existence with irresistible affinity. It is an all-consuming relationship: What does it take? All. When will it be consummated? Now. Purandaradasa in an Ugabhoga emphasizes this intense urgency of bhakti, with its mood of impatient refusal to wait and procrastinate:
What we hope with all our heart
to get at some future time
— let’s get that today!
What we want to have today
—let’s get it right now!
What we can get right now
let’s enjoy this very instant!
Let’s have the loving mercy of
Lord Purandara Vithala!
[S.K. Ramachandra Rao, ed., Purandara Sahitya Darshana (four vols.), Bangalore: The Directorate of Kannada and Culture, Government of Karnataka, 1985, IV, p. 326.]—William J. Jackson, Songs of Three Great South Indian Saints, New Delhi, Oxford University Press, (1998) Paperbacks 2002, p. 4
BT Song 1109 Now I Need
After I depart, what will I gain?
What’s the use of saying it now?
Now that I receive, I believe
In the usefulness you bring.
When you come to me,
What have I gained?
When life is full,
Let’s cherish our bond.
With body and soul intertwined,
When understanding fails,
For the love you bring,
What value do I find?
In this life, so worldly,
If I cannot attain,
Something that doesn’t help,
Understand within yourself.
With humanity embraced,
When you come to me,
Understanding the needs of the heart,
I couldn’t explain.
Drinking from wisdom’s cup,
Feel the soul as it rises,
Slowly, as you rise,
Let’s share our bond.
Whenever it’s obtained,
Right here, I want it,
Found right here,
Even tomorrow, I want it.
Today, it’s found,
Now I need it,
Just that and no more,
Let’s establish it.
After I depart,
I seek freedom,
Understanding without hesitation,
I seek devotion.
Without knowing,
I seek freedom,
A life without you,
That’s what I seek.
Madhigiri, 21-07-2019, 11:10 p.m.
BT Song 1109 Now I Need
After I depart,
What use is there to say?
Now that I receive,
I believe in usefulness.
When you come to me,
What benefit have I gained?
When life is full,
Let’s cherish our bond.
When body and soul,
Fail to understand,
For the love you bring,
What value do I find?
In this worldly life,
If I can’t attain,
Something that won’t help,
Understand within yourself.
With humanity embraced,
When you came to me,
Understanding the needs of the heart,
I couldn’t explain.
Drinking from the cup of wisdom,
Feel the soul,
Slowly as you rise,
Let’s share our bond.
Whenever it’s obtained,
Right here, I want it,
Here it’s found,
Even tomorrow, I want it,
Today, it’s found,
Now I need it,
Just that and no more,
Let’s establish it.
After I depart,
I seek freedom,
Understanding without hesitation,
I seek devotion.
Without knowing,
I seek freedom,
A life without you,
That’s what I seek.
Madhigiri, 21-07-2019, 11:10 p.m.
BT Song 1110
After writing the previous poem, as I continued my reading, the following points about bhakti by William J. Jackson much impressed me. Though I wanted to retire to bed as I became tired, as I continued to meditate upon it, inspiration came and I wrote this song to celebrate the gift of bhakti by the Lord in my life.
…Bhakti opens the way and gives continued access to the mystery of meaning, and the bhakta smiles back, feeling fit… —William J. Jackson, Songs of Three Great South Indian Saints, New Delhi, Oxford University Press, (1998) Paperbacks 2002, p. 4
…Ratiocination means rule—making a king of yourself, dictating decrees about how you want things to be. Love is the giving up, the giving over of self, not aggrandizement. Love is open, which means it is vulnerable; control means being closed, buckling down. It is a rule of thumb that to worldly people much of real bhakti seems politically inept; the devotee depends on the invisible (p. 4) power of God, and not on the status or the power plays of humans. Bhakti saints often seem to insult or ignore the most powerful people—kings, rich men and other elitists.—ibid. pp. 4-5
…Bhakti has often been poorly understood, only grudgingly given its place in the scheme of India’s religious life, by those ashamed of its downhome qualities…. (p.5) at its best, bhakti is a purifying system off inversion and levelling—to rejoin what has been sundered, to re-win the grace of wholeness, to atone for loss of innocence, to reunite mind, feelings and will….—ibid. pp. 5-6
BT Song 1110 Devotion and Wisdom
If you understand the essence of devotion,
Hold wisdom close and let it guide.
When the depth of wisdom is clear,
Follow the path of devotion without fear.
There’s no strife between devotion and wisdom,
Yet without understanding, they don’t unite.
When devotion and wisdom intertwine,
No other support is needed, it’s divine.
Traveling together both devotion and wisdom,
In their journey, no barriers do they know.
Standing firm against each other opposing,
Neither side brings any true fruition.
God granted devotion to us first,
And wisdom as its trusted ally.
With wisdom’s light guiding our way,
We walk the path of devotion every day.
On the path of devotion, clarity unfolds,
Wisdom brings insight and pure gold.
With clarity and strength in our stride,
Abundant devotion is our joy and pride.
Understanding God with crystal clarity,
Singing His praises, embracing His grace.
Body and soul in harmony, united as one,
In His glory, our hearts find their place.
Madhigiri, 21-07-2019, 11:30 PM
BT Song 1110 Devotion and Wisdom)
If you understand the greatness of devotion,
Embrace wisdom alongside and keep it close.
If you grasp the depth of wisdom,
Follow the path of devotion with clarity.
There’s no enmity between devotion and wisdom,
Yet, without understanding, there’s no unity.
When devotion and wisdom are combined,
There’s no need for anything else.
Travel together both devotion and wisdom,
In their journey, there are no barriers.
Stand firm against each other opposing,
Neither side brings any benefit.
God gave us devotion before anything else,
And wisdom to support it.
With wisdom as your guide,
Follow the path of devotion.
When walking the path of devotion,
Wisdom brings clarity.
With clear wisdom as your guide,
Receive abundant devotion.
Understand God with clarity and praise Him daily,
Blossom like His flower every day.
Body and soul united as one,
Sing His praises and remember His grace.
Madhigiri, 21-07-2019, 11:30 PM
BT Song 1106 அலட்சியம் செய்யாதே
வருந்தியே அழைக்காமல்
வந்திடும் போது
விரும்பியே அழைத்தும்
தாமதம் எதற்கு
வாசலைத் திறந்து
வைத் திருந்தேனே
வரும்வழி பார்த்து
காத்திருந்தேனே 1
அதுசரி உனக்குமே
ஆயிரம் கவலை
அழைப்பவர் கொஞ்சமா
அதற்குமே கணக்கில்லை
அவர்க்கெல்லாம் நேரம்
இருந்திடும் போது
அடிமையை மறந்திட
காரணம் யாது? 2
பிறர்போல வந்து
புலம்புகின்றேனா
தந்தது போதாது
எனச் சொன்னேனா
இன்னும் தேவைகள்
என்னென்னவென்று
ஏதேனும் உன்னிடம்
நான் கேட்டேனா 3
எதுசெய்த போதும்
சரியெனச் சொல்லி
உன்சித்தம் அன்றி
வேறொன்று மறியேன்
எப்போதும் தொண்டு
செய்திட வென்று
அரைகட்டி உன்முன்
கைகட்டி நின்றேன் 4
அதுதான் இப்போது
தப்பாகிப் போனது
அடிமை என்பதால்
உனக்கலட்சியமானது
அடிமைக்கும் மேலாய்
உரிமையும் உண்டு
அதைநீ அறிவது
உனக்குமே நல்லது 5
பக்தன் என்கிற
பேற்றினைத் தந்தாய்
பக்தி செய்திட
வரமும் தந்தாய்
அதையே நீயும்
மறந்து விடாதே
அழைத்ததும் வந்திட
தாமதி யாதே 6
மத்திகிரி, 27-06-2019, இரவு 11.50
BT Song 1107 அருள் வேண்டும்
திருவடி பணிய
அருள்தர வேண்டும்
தெய்வமே அதை நீ
தினம் தர வேண்டும்
கலங்கிய மனது
தெளிவு அடைந்து
காலமெலாம் உன்
துதிசெய்ய வேண்டும் 1
நீ செய்த நன்மைகள்
நினைத்திடும் போது
நெஞ்சம் உருகி
உன் புகழ் பாடுது
நித்தமும் காக்கும்
உன் செயல் கண்டு
என் இரு விழிகளும்
நீரும் சொரியுது 2
மீட்டதின் இரகசியம்
அறிந்திடும் போது
மேனியும் தளர
உரோமமும் சிலிர்க்குது
நான் அதை எண்ணி
நாடி வருகையில்
நாவும் குழைந்து
தேம்பி நிற்குது 3
மானுட வாழ்வே
வீணென என்னும்
பேதமை எண்ணம்
போக்கிடச் செய்து
அனுதினம் வாழும்
மானிட வாழ்வின்
உயர்வினைக் காணும்
உய்வினைத் தந்தாய் 4
இதுவே போதும்
வேறென்ன வேண்டும்
இதுபோல் உன்னைப்
பணிந்திட வேண்டும்
அதற்கு நீயும்
அருள்தர வேண்டும்
அனுதினம் உன்னுடன்
வாழ்ந்திட வேண்டும் 5
மத்திகிரி, 7-7-2019, இரவு, 11.00
BT Song 1108 – சரி விடு எழுதறேன்
1.
உன்முகம் பார்க்க
வந்திடும் போது
என்னையும் பார்க்க
மறுப்பதேன் கூறு
2.
உன்னிடம் பேச
வந்திடும் போது
இருசெவி மந்தமாய்
போனதேன் கூறு
3.
உரிமை எனக்கு
உன்னிடம் இல்லையா
உறவைச் சொல்லி
வருவதும் பிழையா
4.
பக்தியில் குறைந்தேனா
சித்தத்தைத் துறந்தேனா
பாதத்தைப் பணியாமல்
ஒருநாள் இருந்தேனா
5.
என்னிலை அறிந்தும்
என்மனம் புரிந்தும்
எதற்காக இந்த
வஞ்சகம் செய்யணும்
6.
எப்போதும் உன்னை
நினைந்திடும் போது
வீணாய் இனியேன்
பேசிட வேண்டும்
7.
புதுப்பாடல் ஏதும்
எழுதலை என்று
பேசாமல் நீயும்
இருந்திடலாமா
8.
எழுத்திலே எழுதத்
தேவையும் என்ன
எத்தனை எழுதிப்
பயனுமே என்ன
9.
வீணாக நேரம்
போவதல்லாமல்
ஒருவிதப் பயனும்
அதிலே காணோம்
10.
ஆயினும் எழுத
முயன்றிடும் போது
வார்த்தைகள் ஏதும்
வந்திடக் காணோம்
11.
வீணான இந்த
உபசாரம் எதற்கு
வீணான பிணக்கு
ஏனினும் உனக்கு
12.
ஆயினும் பாடல்
தேவை என்றால்
அதையே சொல்லிட்டு
தயக்கமும் எத்று
13.
சரிவிடு போகட்டும்
இனிமேல் எழுதறேன்
இடையே பாடலாய்
எழுதியும் காட்டுறேன்
மத்திகிரி, 14-7-2019, இரவு 10.35
BT Song 1109: இப்போதே வேண்டும்
இறந்தபின் பெறுவதில்
பயனென்ன சொல்லு
இப்போதே பெறுவதில்
பயனுண்டு நம்பு
உன்னிடம் வந்தபின்
பெற்று பயனேது
உயிருள்ள போதே
நீவந்து உறவாடு
உடலோடு உயிரும்
உணராத போது
நீக்கொண்ட அன்புக்கு
மதிப்புமே ஏது
உலகிடை வாழ்கையில்
கிடைக்காத பேறு
ஒன்றுக்கும் உதவாது
நீநன்கு உணரு
மானிட உருக்கொண்டு
வந்த உனக்கு
மனதின் தேவையும்
புரியாதா கூறு
மேனியில் குடிகொண்ட
உயிரும் உணர
விரைவாக நீந்து
உறவாடிப் பாரு
எப்போதோ கிடைப்பது
இங்கேயே வேண்டும்
இங்கேயே கிடைப்பது
இன்னறைக்கே வேண்டும்
இன்றைக்கே கிடைப்பது
இப்போதே வேண்டும்
அதுமட்டும் என்றும்
நிலைத்திட வேண்டும்
இறந்தபின் அடையும்
முக்தியை வேண்டேன்
என்மனம் உணராத
பக்தியை வேண்டேன்
என்மேனி அறியாத
பரவசம் வேண்டேன்
நீயற்ற ஒருவாழ்வு
என்றுமே வேண்டேன்
மத்திகிரி, 21-07-2019, 11:10 p.m.
BT Song 1110: பக்த்தியும் புத்தியும்
பக்தியின் மேன்மை புரியனுமென்றால்
புத்தியை சற்றே ஒதுக்கியும் வைத்திடு
புத்தியின் ஆழமும் புரியனுமென்றால்
பக்தியின் வழியே சென்றுமே பாரு
பக்திக்குப் பகையேதும் புத்திமீதில்லை
புத்தியும் பக்தியைப் புரியாமல் இல்லை
பத்தியும்-புத்தியும் இணைந்திடும் போது
அதனினும் பரவசம் வேறொன்றும் இல்லை
பக்தியும்-புத்தியும் ஒன்றாய்ப் பயணிக்க
பயணத்தில் எவ்விதத் தடைகளும் இல்லை
பக்தியும்-புத்தியும் எதிர் எதிர் நிற்க
இரண்டாலும் எவ்விதப் பயனுமே இல்லை
பக்தியை நமக்கு தரும் முன் இறைவன்
புத்தியை அதற்குத் துணையெனத் தந்தான்
துணையென்வந்த புத்தியும் சிறக்க
பக்தியை அதற்கு வழியெனத் தந்தான்
பக்தியின் வழியிலே சென்றிடும் போது
புத்தியும் அடையும் மிகமிகத் தெளிவு
தெளிவுற்ற புத்தி துணையென நிற்க
பக்தியும் பெறுமே மிகமிகப் பொலிவு
தெளிவுடன்-பொலிவுடன் இறைவனை அறிந்து
தினம்தினம் அவனது மலரடி பணிந்து
உயிருடன் உடலும் ஒன்றாக இணைந்து
அவன் புகழ் பாடும் அவன் அருள் நினைந்து
மத்திகிரி, 21-07-2019, இரவு, 11:30
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