BT Song 1306
Contradiction is part of life. Though we try to resolve it by any means—practical or philosophical—it will still glare in our lives in various forms. The best practical solution is to try to live with it by adjusting for survival. A philosophical response might provide an intellectual explanation about it or how to resolve it, but it won’t offer an answer for survival. For example, consider mukti (salvation): “once saved, always saved” versus “though saved, still one needs to work out one’s own salvation with fear and trembling,” and “we are saved; being saved; and will be saved.” However, the bhakta of the Lord does not live out her mukti by analyzing these theological issues but by enjoying her mukti each day in the Lord, accepting all these theological contradictions. The same applies to the “peace of mind” that the Lord gives. It will be there to guide us, but due to our rebellious nature, we have the choice to lose it. When I was reading Vincent’s book on Gandhi, in which he tries to resolve the contradiction about Ahimsa according to Gandhiji’s view in his commentary on the Gita, I thought about my own experience with the peace that the Lord gave me.
BT Song 1306: Trouble in Losing
Simple English Version
When we
Search for peace,
There are many
Ways to find it.
It’s better
To follow
What each person
Wants to do.
Many find it
By seeking God,
Some attain it
By looking in nature.
Many lose it
By seeking
Impermanent
Pleasures in life.
Without any
Outside noise,
Without the
Noise of senses in the mind,
When we reach
A state of stillness,
Surely peace
Will be there.
Once we
Find peace,
There’s no need
To talk about it.
There’s no
Name for it,
It transcends
Language and senses.
But the impact
Of peace
Will stay
In our lives forever.
Whatever the
Situation is,
That feeling
Will always be there.
Unless we
Lose it ourselves,
It won’t leave
On its own.
But if we
Search for it again,
It won’t be
Easily found.
Though this
Seems contradictory,
There is
Some truth in it.
Unless we
Understand it,
No matter how it’s explained,
We won’t get it.
If we
Protect it,
The benefits
Are limitless.
But if we lose it
And search again,
There will be
No end to the troubles.
Gurukulam 26-11-2021, 11.15 p.m.
BT Song 1306: The Trouble of Losing
Classical English Version
When we
Seek peace,
Many are the ways
For us to obtain it.
‘Tis better
To leave
Each to their
Own choice.
Many have found it
In seeking God,
A few attained it
Through nature’s call.
Many lost it
In seeking
Life’s fleeting
Pleasures.
Without
External noise,
Without the
Noise of senses within,
In reaching
A still state,
Peace is surely
To be found.
Once we find
Peace there,
No need remains
To speak of it.
No name exists
For it,
For it transcends
Both language and senses.
Yet its impact
Endures,
Forever present
In our lives.
Whatever the
Situation be,
That experience
Shall remain.
Unless we
Lose it ourselves,
It will not
Depart on its own.
But if we
Seek it anew,
It will not
Easily return.
Though this
Seems contradictory,
There is
Truth within.
Unless we
Grasp it,
No explanation
Will suffice.
In guarding it,
The benefits
Are boundless.
But if lost
And sought again,
Endless will be
The troubles faced.
Gurukulam 26-11-2021, 11.15 p.m.
BT Song 1307
In a playful mood, I wrote this song in the viraha bhakti (love in separation) genre. I don’t know the reason for this. Others might have various interpretations about it or perceive something else in my personality. But in bhakti, celebrating the relationship with the Lord by writing songs in different genres is quite natural for a bhakta. Outsiders cannot understand this unless they inherit such a bhakti tradition from their own culture and tradition.
Simple English Version
BT Song 1307: Nothing to Brag About
What is there
For you to brag?
What do you think
In your mind?
It’s natural for me
To not know many things,
But it’s artificial
To say you know nothing.
It’s natural
For humans
To wear a mask
And live.
But there’s
No need for you,
So your act
Doesn’t look good.
Your mischief
May be acceptable to others,
But you know well
I won’t accept it.
The world
Doesn’t need to know
About us,
It’s unnecessary.
What is there
To worry about
When you’re for me
And I’m for you?
What’s there
To say new?
But if you refuse,
I have other ways.
Should I go
To that extreme?
Is it necessary
To say it to you?
Can you deny
That even a second’s separation
Feels like a Yuga?
Can you deny it?
Why still
Remain upset?
It’s better for us
To live without separation.
Nothing to brag
About in separation,
And I don’t have
The strength to accept it.
Gurukulam, 30-11-2021, 10.30 p.m.
BT Song 1307: Nothing to Boast of
Classical English Version
What is there
For you to boast?
What thoughts
Occupy your mind?
It is natural for me
To lack knowledge,
But it is false
To claim you know nothing.
It is natural
For humans
To wear a mask
And live.
But such need
You do not have,
Thus your pretense
Seems flawed.
Your mischief
May be accepted by others,
But you are well aware
I shall not accept it.
The world need not
Know about us,
Such matters
Are unnecessary.
What cause
For worry exists
When you are for me
And I am for you?
What is there
New to speak?
But if you refuse,
Other paths are available.
Must I venture
To such extremes?
Is it necessary
To voice it to you?
Can you deny
That even a moment’s separation
Feels like an age?
Can you deny it?
Why remain
In distress?
It is better for us
To live without separation.
There is nothing
For you to boast in separation,
And I lack the strength
To accept it.
Gurukulam, 30-11-2021, 10.30 p.m.
BT Song 1308
Once again, I woke up very early in the morning. Unable to sleep, I made a cup of tea. Although I wanted to sit and meditate on the Lord, my mind didn’t allow it. I kept thinking about the current issue before me—disposing of personal property at Mathigiri and getting rid of all material entanglements in my life. Though the process is ongoing, as there are still a few issues to resolve, I cannot spend much time with the Lord. So, I started cooking to divert my mind. While doing this, I began to converse with the Lord, as I often do. I told Him that now it is His burden, which He unnecessarily loaded on me, and He alone should remove it. There is no other option for Him, as He cannot deny Himself. Inspired, I quickly wrote this song.
BT Song 1308: Good for Us
Simple English Version
You better watch over it,
What else can I do?
You accomplish it,
What else can I do?
When I remain
As the instrument in your hand,
Is there any other way?
Tell me if there is.
You loaded unnecessary
Burden on me,
You imposed a life
That I never liked.
When I murmur,
Unable to carry the burden,
You mock me,
Blaming me unnecessarily.
I try to renounce,
But I cannot do that.
I try to escape,
But I cannot get away from you.
I began to cry,
Saying it’s no longer possible,
But still, you didn’t
Remove this burden.
Why did you say
Your burden is light?
Then why do you think
This is not your burden?
Though you came
To carry the burden of this world,
Why do you deny
That my burden is yours?
You cannot
Deny yourself.
Whatever you say,
You cannot escape from me.
My burden is your burden,
This is the truth.
You cannot
Deny this.
So it’s good
For both of us
If you unload
This burden of mine.
3-12-2021, Gurukulam, 5.30 a.m.
BT Song 1308: Good for Us
Classical English Version
You had best watch over it;
What more can I do?
You shall accomplish it;
What more can I do?
When I remain
As the instrument in your hand,
Is there any means superior?
Pray, tell me if there is.
You have burdened me
With an unnecessary load;
You imposed a life
That I never desired.
When I murmur,
Unable to bear the weight,
Unjustly blaming me,
You are mocking my plight.
I strive to renounce,
But I cannot achieve it;
I attempt to escape,
But I remain ensnared.
I began to weep,
Claiming it is impossible;
Yet still, you did not
Remove this burden from me.
Why did you assert
That your burden is light?
Then why did you think
This burden is not yours?
Though you came
To bear the weight of the world,
Why do you deny
That my burden is yours?
You cannot
Deny yourself;
Whatever you proclaim,
You cannot escape from me.
My burden is your burden;
This is the truth.
You cannot
Deny this reality.
Therefore, it is beneficial
For both of us
If you relieve me
Of this burden.
Gurukulam, 3-12-2021, 5.30 a.m.
BT Song 1309
I have become extremely tired both in body and mind. I want to be relieved from all unnecessary entanglements in life. I want to focus only on my daily life—taking care of my aged mother, reading, writing, etc. I want to be liberated from unnecessary commitments imposed on me, either by my own fault or by life’s necessity. I know I am saved, meaning I have attained mukti. But this mukti is not helping me get delivered from the many earthly chains binding me at present. So after reading Muktiveda, when I sat for meditation, this thought alone occupied my mind. Then I wrote this song, pouring my heart out to the Lord as my prayer.
BT Song 1309: My Expectation
Simple English Version
Is your expectation
Alone correct,
And is my expectation
Completely wrong?
Should there be
No expectation
For a servant
Who looks to her Master?
I never deny
The reason
For your
Expectation.
I never denied your right
As you have
Created, redeemed,
And cared for me.
There is nothing wrong
If I expect from you,
As you know well
About all my needs.
Do not the
Cattle expect fodder
Those that are
Kept in a manger?
Do you not know?
My needs
As I am
More important than cattle [for you]?
Though I have
So many needs on this earth,
If you fulfill
Only one of my needs,
All my expectations
Will be met in it,
And your expectation
Will also be achieved.
What else can I ask?
I need deliverance,
If you grant it,
That will be a great blessing for you.
Gurukulam, 3-12-2021, 10.15 p.m.
BT Song 1309: My Expectation
Classical English Version
Is your expectation
The only one that is right,
And is my expectation
Altogether wrong?
Should there be
No expectation
For a servant
Who looks unto her Master?
I do not deny
The basis
Of your
Expectation.
I have not withheld your right,
As you have
Created, redeemed,
And cared for me.
There is nothing amiss
In my expecting from you,
As you are well aware
Of all my needs.
Do not the
Cattle expect fodder,
Those which are
Kept in a manger?
Do you not perceive?
My needs
As I am
More important than cattle [to you]?
Though I possess
Many needs on this earth,
If you fulfill
Even one of my needs,
All my expectations
Will be satisfied therein,
And your expectation
Will likewise be fulfilled.
What more can I ask?
I seek deliverance,
Should you bestow it,
It will be a great blessing to you.
Gurukulam, 3-12-2021, 10.15 p.m.
BT Song 1310
After writing the previous song, tears began to flow from my eyes. I couldn’t do anything else, so I sat quietly, unable to do my regular reading. I felt that God was hiding His face from me, either to teach me a lesson or to punish me. Unable to tolerate this thought, I began to pray silently to the Lord, asking Him never to do this to me again. I can accept other punishments for my mistakes, but I cannot accept indifference from Him. Pouring my heart out, I wrote this song as my prayer.
BT Song 1310: Don’t Do That Alone
Simple English Version
Won’t your eyes see
My flowing tears?
Won’t my cry
Reach your ears?
Would this question
Ever arise
If you were merely a stone
That does not see or hear?
You show more pity on me
Than a mother
Who hurries
When the baby is crying.
You care more
Than a father
Who provides
Even before the child asks.
Your friendship
Is always with me,
Understanding
Even before I speak.
But this
Indifference of yours
Has become completely
New to me now.
I cannot
Understand now
What mistakes
I have made.
Whatever they might be,
My mistakes,
You know
All of them very well.
But your
Punishments
Have become
A bit excessive.
If you gave other punishments,
I might escape them,
But if you hide your face,
I will completely perish.
Please don’t do that alone
And forgive all my mistakes.
Show your face
And kindly protect me again.
Gurukulam, 3-12-2021, 11.30
BT Song 1310: Don’t Do That Alone
Classical English Version
Will not your eyes perceive
My streaming tears?
Will not my cry
Reach your ears?
Would such a question
Ever arise
Were you merely a stone
That neither sees nor hears?
You exhibit greater pity for me
Than a mother
Who hastens
When the infant whimpers.
You exhibit greater concern
Than a father
Who provides
Even before the child requests.
Your friendship
Is ever-present with me,
Understanding
Even before I disclose.
Yet this
Indifference of yours
Has become entirely
New to me now.
I cannot
Comprehend now
What errors
I have committed.
Whatever they may be,
My faults,
You know
All of them thoroughly.
But your
Punishments
Have become
Somewhat excessive.
Should you bestow other punishments,
I might evade them,
But if you turn away your face,
I shall wholly perish.
Please do not act thus alone
And forgive all my transgressions.
Reveal your face
And kindly protect me once more.
Gurukulam, 3-12-2021, 11.30
BT Song 1306 இழந்தால் தொல்லை
அமைதி தேடி
அலைகின்ற போது
அதைப்பெற நமக்குப்
பலவழி உண்டு 1
யாருக்கு எது
தேவை என்று
அவரவர் முடிவுக்கு
விடுவது நன்று 2
இறைவனில் தேடி
அடைந்தவர் உண்டு
இயற்கையை நாடிக்
கண்டவர் உண்டு 3
நிரந்தரம் இல்லா
சுகங்களில் தேடி
அமைதி இழந்தவர்
ஆயிரம் உண்டு 4
புறம்பே ஓசை
ஏதும் இன்றி
புலங்களின் ஓசை
மனதிலும் இன்றி 5
சலனம் இல்லா
நிலையை அடைய
அங்கே அமைதி
நிச்சயம் உண்டு 6
அமைதி அங்கே
கண்ட பினாலே
அதைப்பற்றிக் கூற
அவசியம் இல்லை 7
புலனை பொறியை
மொழியைக் கடந்த
அந்த நிலைக்குப்
பெயரும் இல்லை 8
ஆனால் அதன்
தாக்கம் மட்டும்
நிரந்தரமாக நம்
வாழ்வில் இருக்கும் 9
சூழ்நிலை எதுவாய்
இருந்த போதும்
அந்த உணர்வு
நிலைத்தே நிற்கும் 10
நாமாய் அதனை
இழப்பது அன்றித்
தானாய் அதுவும்
நீங்கிச் செல்லாது 11
ஆனால் அதனை
மீண்டும் தேட
எளிதாய் நமக்கு
வசப்படாது 12
முரணாய் இது
தோன்றினாலும்
முற்றாய் இதிலே
உண்மை இருக்கு 13
தானாய் நமக்குப்
புரியா வரையில்
யார் சொன்னாலும்
விளங்கி விடாது 14
பெற்ற அதனைப்
பேணிக் காக்க
அடையும் நன்மைக்கு
எல்லை இல்லை 15
அதனை இழந்து
மீண்டும் தேட
வந்திடும் தொல்லைக்கு
வரையரை இல்லை 16
குருகுலம், 26-11-2021, இரவு, 11.15
BT Song 1307 பெருமை இல்லை
இதிலென்ன பெருமை
உனக்கு இருக்கு
என்னதான் உனது
மனதின் கணக்கு 1
எனக்குப் புரியாது
என்பது இயற்கை
உனக்குத் தெரியா
தென்பது செயற்கை 2
முகத்திரை போட்டு
வாழ்வது என்பது
மனிதர்க்கு உள்ள
இயற்கை குணமது 3
அந்தத் தேவையோ
உனக்கு இல்லை
அதனால் உன் நடிப்பு
சரியாய் இல்லை 4
உனது ஜாலம்
பிறரிடம் செல்லும்
என்னிடம் நடக்காது
உனக்கு தெரியும் 5
ஊருக்கும் உலகுக்குத்
தெரிய வேண்டிய
தேவை நமக்கு
என்று இல்லை 6
உனக்கென நானும்
எனக்கென நீயும்
இருக்கும் போது
எதைப்பற்றிக் கவலை 7
புதிதாய் சொல்ல
இனியென்ன இருக்கு
புரிய மறுத்தால்
வழிவேறு இருக்கு 8
அந்த எல்லைக்குப்
போகவும் வேண்டுமோ
உனக்கதை நானும்
சொல்ல வேண்டுமோ 9
ஒருநொடிப் பிரிவும்
யுகமென இருக்கும்
அதனை மறுக்க
உனக்கு முடியுமா 10
இத்தனை சொல்லியும்
இனியென்ன பிணக்கு
பிரிவின்றி வாழ்வதே
நல்லது நமக்கு 11
பிரிவிலே பெருமை
உனக்கு இல்லை
அதைத்தாங்க சக்தி
என்னிடம் இல்லை 12
குருகுலம், 30-11-2021, இரவு, 10.30
BT Song 1308 நமக்கு நல்லது
நீ பார்த்துக் கொள்ளு
நான் என்ன செய்ய
நிறைவேற்றிக் கொள்ளு
வேறென்ன செய்ய 1
உன்கை கருவியாய்
இருந்திடும் போது
வேறுவழி உண்டோ
நீ யதைக் கூறு 2
வேண்டாத பாரத்தை
நீ ஏற்றி வைத்தாய்
விரும்பாத வாழ்வினை
என்மீது திணித்தாய் 3
வீண்பாரம் தாங்காமல்
முணுமுணுத்தால்
என்மீது குறைகூறி
என்னையும் பழித்தாய் 4
துறக்க முயன்றேன்
துறக்கவும் இல்லை
தொலைய முயன்றேன்
தப்பிக்க வில்லை 5
இனி முடியாது
என்று அழுதேன்
ஆனாலும் இப்பாரம்
போக்க வில்லை 6
என்பாரம் எளிதென
எதற்காகச் சொன்னாய்
இப்பாரம் உனதல்ல
எனயேன் நினைத்தாய் 7
உலகின் பாரம்
சுமக்க வந்தும்
என்பாரம் உனதல்ல
எனயேன் மறுத்தாய் 8
உன்னை மறுக்க
உன்னால் முடியாது
என்ன நீ கூறி
தப்பிக்க முடியாது 9
என்பாரம் உன்பாரம்
என்பதே உண்மை
இதை மறுக்க
உனக்க இயலாது 10
எனவே இறக்கி
வைப்பது மட்டும்
உனக்கும் எனக்கும்
என்றும் நல்லது 11
3-12-2021, குருகுலம், காலை 5.30
BT Song 1309 என் எதிர்பார்ப்பு
உன் எதிர்பார்ப்பு
மட்டும் சரியா
என் எதிர்பார்ப்பு
முற்றிலும் பிழையா 1
ஆண்டான் முகம்பார்க்கும்
அடிமைக்கு மட்டும்
எதிர்பார்ப்பு ஒன்றும்
இருக்கக் கூடாதா 2
உன் எதிர்பார்ப்பில்
உள்ள நியாயத்தை
என்றுமே நான்
மறுக்க வில்லை 3
படைத்து காத்து
மீட்ட உனக்கு
உள்ள உரிமையைத்
தடுக்கவும் இல்லை 4
எனது தேவை
அறிந்த உன்னிடம்
நான் எதிர்பார்ப்பதில்
தவறுமே இல்லை 5
தொழுவத்தில் கட்டி
நிற்கும் மாடுகள்
புல் எதிர்பார்த்து
நிற்பது இல்லையா 6
அவற்றினும் மேலாய்
உள்ள எனது
அவசியம் அனைத்தும்
உனக்குப் புரியாதா 7
பலதேவை எனக்கு
உலகில் இருந்தாலும்
ஒருதேவை தன்னை
நீ நிறைவேற்றினால் 8
என் எதிர்பார்ப்பு
அனைத்தும் முடியும்
உன் எதிர்பார்ப்பும்
நிச்சயம் நிறைவேறும் 9
வேறென்ன கேட்பேன்
விடுதலை வேண்டும்
தந்தால் உனக்குப்
புண்ணியம் ஆகும் 10
குருகுலம், 3-12-2021, இரவு, 10.15
BT Song 1310 அதைமட்டும் செய்யாதே
கசிந்திடும் கணீரை
கண்கள் காணாதா
கதறும் என்குரல்
உன்செவி ஏறாதா 1
காணாத பார்க்காத
கல்லாக இருந்தால்
இக்கேள்வி நாவில்
வந்திடக் கூடுமா 2
சிணுங்கினால் பதறும்
தாயினும் மேலான
பரிவு உன்னிடம்
என்மீது இருக்கே 3
கேளாமுன் தந்திடும்
தந்தையைக் காட்டிலும்
என்மீது உனக்கு
அக்கறை இருக்கே 4
சொல்லிடும் முன்பாக
புரிந்திடும் நண்பனாய்
உன்நட்பு என்றும்
என்னுடன் இருக்கே 5
ஆயினும் இந்த
பாரா முகமட்டும்
இப்போது எனக்கு
புதிதாய் இருக்கு 6
தப்பேது செய்தேன்
என்பது மட்டும்
எனக்கு இப்போது
புரியாம இருக்கு 7
தப்பு எனதாக
இருந்தாலும் என்ன
அதுகூட உனக்கு
தெரிந்துதான் இருக்கு 8
அதற்காக நீதரும்
இந்த தண்டனை
அதுமட்டும் சற்று
அதிகமாய் இருக்கு 9
வேறேது தந்தாலும்
தப்பித்துப் பிழைப்பேன்
முகம்தான் மறைத்தால்
முற்றாக மாள்வேன் 10
அதைமட்டும் செய்யாதே
அபச்சாரம் பொறுப்பாய்
முகம்காட்டி மீண்டும்
என்னையும் காப்பாய் 11
குருகுலம், 3-12-2021, இரவு, 10.45
Leave a Reply