My Own Pace
I find platforms like WhatsApp becoming tedious, filled with repetitive and rhetorical messages—often accompanied by countless ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night’ texts. When WhatsApp restricted my access due to my refusal to update it, I felt a sense of relief. Social media, like fire, can be used for both good and bad purposes. There’s no denying the immense opportunities it provides for sharing thoughts. However, much like money, which is a good servant but a poor master, social media begins to dominate us when we let it control our lives. The difference here is that while we can exert some level of control over money or other things, social media often slips beyond our control. Even if we avoid certain apps or platforms, the influence of the internet and social media on our lives can be concerning. It has eroded many important values, especially in our relationships with others.
In the past, the telephone replaced the art of writing personal letters. Now, social media has even replaced phone calls. It’s easy to type a quick, informal message—or worse, forward a message or video without even reading or watching it. Similarly, many people don’t bother to read messages anymore; instead, they respond with symbols like thumbs up or clapping emojis, giving the illusion of engagement. I’ve done the same—sending an emoji in response to boring or repetitive messages just to acknowledge them without actually reading them. This behavior isn’t good, and I realize now that a warm phone call holds much more value than any WhatsApp message or forwarded video. Yet, people hardly have time for that anymore. As more people live their ‘digital lives,’ I feel that social media and the internet are controlling our lives in ways we don’t fully realize. We’ve replaced genuine interaction with quick messages, like sending a ‘Happy Parents’ Day’ text instead of calling to check on aging parents in an old-age home. The one exception seems to be Valentine’s Day—where a simple forward to a girlfriend just won’t suffice!
When I confronted someone about this lack of meaningful interaction, he replied, “They’ll talk endlessly, repeating the same things. Who has time for that?” I reminded him that the same parents listened to all his babblings when he was a child, never turning him away despite their busy schedules. Just as modern parents juggling work from home must still make time for their children, it seems we’ve forgotten how to do the same for our elderly parents.
So, I’ve realized that platforms like WhatsApp have stripped away the human touch from our communication. While it has its uses, the cost is significant. Switching to other apps like Signal or Telegram won’t change this fundamental issue. As I jokingly responded to a request to download Signal: “I tried sending a TELEGRAM to get the SIGNAL, but there wasn’t enough SIGNAL to download it!” I’ve decided to step back from these apps for a while to see if I can live without them. After all, my mother doesn’t need them, and my brother doesn’t use them. Recently, I was surprised to learn that a musician in Canada and his wife don’t even own a smartphone—they still use a landline and the same old laptop from 1996! If they can live without these apps, why can’t I?
When I shared my decision, a friend asked, “Why?” My response, which I’d like to share with you, was this:
Db
15-06-2021
“I don’t know. I am a shy person, though many don’t believe it. I don’t like others posting my pictures online or talking about me. I prefer the life of a recluse.”
“Oh, but it’s hard to believe someone as positive as you, who has contributed so much to the community, would want to withdraw from the world.”
P…
16-06-2021
“No, I don’t want to withdraw from the world, which is nearly impossible. I’m with the world, but I don’t want to be in it. It’s difficult to explain.”
Let me clarify further: I can’t keep up with the rapid pace of this technological and digital world. I want to move at my own speed. That’s why I avoid group messages—by the time I grasp one message, countless others flood in, often disconnected. It’s like everyone talking simultaneously in a chaotic TV debate—no one listens to anyone else. I prefer to read one message, reflect on it, and then share my thoughts. That’s the best way to learn and teach. But when everyone tries to talk at once, nothing meaningful is learned, and discussions often become mere intellectual entertainment, with people trying to outwit each other rather than genuinely engaging.
I’ve seen this problem firsthand. In 1990, I attended a day-long fasting prayer and Scripture study in UP. What began as a thoughtful discussion quickly turned into a heated debate, particularly among the international participants. The locals, who couldn’t follow the English-language discussion, were left bewildered, with some even stepping out of the session. The study, which should have helped everyone learn, ended up serving only a few. This situation repeated in a more recent study group, where some participants, disengaged from the debate, turned to their phones instead.
If I were in charge of such studies, I’d arrange separate sessions for different languages. But many Indian Christians insist on using only English, even in prayer and Bible study, forgetting that in the New Heaven, there won’t be English—only Tamil!
This is what I mean when I say I want to be with the world but not in the world. I’m a recluse who wants to live at my own pace. But the internet, social media, and gadgets have made it harder for me to keep up, creating more problems than solutions.
I will continue to learn and share with others who are willing to move at my pace, rather than rushing along with the crowd.
Db
16-06-2021
“Simply superb. Very clear thoughts, well articulated. I’m ready to learn from you at your pace.”
P…
16-06-2021
This one-to-one interaction is exactly what I enjoy. It doesn’t mean I’m against group messages or studies, but they’re not my preference. Though I’ve participated in group discussions and learned a lot, when it comes to interacting with others, I prefer one-on-one dialogue.
I’ve always written to address my personal questions and needs. Though I’ve also responded to others’ queries, those were asked individually. I never shared my poems for over 20 years, not even with close friends and disciples. Only later did I start composing music for use in our Mandali. When one friend’s wife, Saradha, noticed the poems while correcting spelling mistakes, she asked why I’d never shared them. It wasn’t until a girl from the USA asked me to share more poems after liking one I had quoted that I began sharing them more widely.
Similarly, I started writing to resolve my questions about the gospel and Christian practices. When I shared my concerns with Rajesh in the early ’90s, he encouraged me to write more and even published my reflections. But I’ve always written primarily for myself, not out of fear of criticism, but because of my limitations in language and terminology. I wish I could write more in Tamil, but I often struggle to find the right words. My poems, however, provide some solace, allowing me to express my thoughts in my native tongue. Although translating them into English loses some of the original spirit, I continue to try.
This is a thoughtful reflection on the impact of social media and the digital age on human connections and personal pace. It’s a reminder of the importance of mindful communication and staying true to one’s values amidst the fast-paced world.
Social Media and my own phase
I find social media like Whatsapp become boring as I receive rhetorical messages (along with so many ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night’ messages). So when Whatsapp prevented to use it further as I refuse to update it as per its condition I was bit relaxed. I know using social media is like fire which one can use for good or bad purposes. Nobody can deny the great opportunities which social media opened before everyone to share their thoughts. However I felt that like money which remains a good servant but bad Master, the Social media began to dominate us when we allow it to control us. But I found one different in this. Unlike money or any other thing on which we can exercise some kind of control, social media never allows us to have that control over it. We may close certain apps and keep away from certain social media platforms, but the way Internet and Social media now controls us is bit dangerous. It deprived so many important values in our life as human particularly in our relationship with others.
In the past telephone replaced the importance of writing a personal letter. Now social media replaced even that phone call. One can just type some informal message or worst can simply forward certain messages or videos etc. [not even reading or watching them]. Similarly many people won’t read our messages or even forward messages but simply insert some symbols like thumsup or clapping as if they agree or appreciate our message. I have done the same when I receive some boring or rhetorical messages. I simply insert some icons not even reading them, in order to show that I have read their message. This is not good and even unethical. But I realize that now a ‘WARM PHONE’ call is more worth than any Whatsapp message or forwarded videos. But people have no time even for that. As most the people now live their ‘digital life’, I feel that now social media and Internet began to control our lives even without our consent. We have Mother’s day, Father’s day, Parent’s day, Friends day etc. Now they will simply forward a ‘Happy Parents day’ to them and not even bother to call to enquire about their health or need living in old age home or alone in native place. The only exception is ‘Valentines day’ where they cannot simply forward a message to their girl friend. Of course the girls can do that but never the boys to their girl friends. The one excuse that they have for this is that they are sending money regularly for their maintenance—either living alone or in old age home. When I questioned such attitude to one person, he said, ‘they will talk for long time repeating the same thing again and again. Where is the time for me to listen to all these babblings?’ Then I told him, the same parents listened all your ‘babblings’ when you as a young baby and child was learning to speak, particularly to your mother. But they never stopped listening to you or ignored you by saying ‘we have no time to listen as we have so much work’. Just watch the way even the modern parents who are forced to work from home has to keep the baby and child on their lap and continue to do their work. But they don’t have time to listen to their aged and ailing parents and they become ‘HIGHLY BORING’.
So I too realized that some applications like Whatsapp are doing the same—KILLED THE HUMAN TOUCH in all our COMMUNICATION. At the same time I recognize that it has its use in our communication with other. But at what cost is my question.
There is no point of switching to some other apps like ‘Signal’ or ‘Telegram’. Only the messenger changes but the message remains the same. When one person requested me to download ‘Signal’ in response I wrote, ‘In order to get the SIGNAL I sent one TELEGRAM. But the message came that there is not enough SIGNAL to download it.’ So I have decided to keep away from these kinds of applications for some time to test whether I can survive without them. Because I see my mother does not require them. Even my brother is not using them. Recently I received one shocking information from one person from Canada who releases so many music albums that he and his wife does not even have a SMART PHONE and they are using only land line to connect to internet and still using the same old Laptop since 1996. If such young generation [of course now they no more remain young] can live without such applications, then why not me?
When I sent my decision one bhakta asked the question ‘Why’? In response I wrote her which I would like to share further
I don’t know. I am a shy person but many don’t believe. I never like anyone to post my pictures in their website. I don’t want others to talk about me. I prefer the life of a recluse
Db
15-06-2021
Oh but yet can’t believe such a positive person who has given so much to the community, both for Christ Bhaktas and otherwise, will want to be away from the world?
P….
16-06-2021
No. I don’t want to be away from the world, which is almost impossible. I am with the world but don’t want to be in it. It is very difficult to explain.
Let me try to explain it bit clearly to you. I cannot cope with the speed in which this technological and digital world moves. I want to keep my own pace. That is why I don’t want to read any group message. Because before I can understand one message so many responses pouring continuously not connected one with the other. It is like all want to talk simultaneously (as it happens in some TV debates) in which no one can listen to other. But I would like to read one message and ponder on it, and then share my reflection. This is the best way to learn from each other (and also to teach other). But when we try to talk simultaneously no one is going to learn anything and these kinds of discussions often remain as ‘intellectual entertainment’ one try to outwit the other and no one taking anyone or anyone’s point seriously. But this is not the traditional method of teaching and learning. Unfortunately all group messages created this mess and most of the members in those groups are happy to continue in it. But I cannot cope with this kind of (mad) rush.
Let me give two illustrations to explain this. Long time back in early 1990 when I was visiting one base in UP, they were conducting Full Day Fasting Prayer and ‘BIBLE STUDY’. I too was invited to join as I was staying with them for few days. There were around 20 to 25 participants, most of them Indians but three or four Internationals. When the study started it began well, but soon it was hijacked by heated debate on some theological point, particularly among the Internationals. As the Christians used only English in such prayer meetings and bible study (as their only official language) some of the locals cannot follow it. But when the bible study, starting as discussion ended in debate most of the nationals were scratching their heads and some often go out and come back. This continued till lunch break (of course no lunch was served). Fortunately the study itself ended with it. I felt very sorry for those who debated, particularly the nationals. Because never keeping in mind about the need of those who want to learn from such studies, they were parading only their KNOWLEDGE [without having any WISDOM]. The same repeated in another place in recent time. But this time as others have their mobile phones, pretending to read those Muktivedic portions on which that study was going on, some of them who cannot follow that kind of discussion which was hijacked by two or three, began to watch their favorite things in it. Ultimately such group discussions and studies, most of the time never serve its purpose—help EVERY ONE TO LEARN SOMETHING. When we serve food to many we will see that everyone receives enough. We won’t serve only few till they become full and give the leftovers to others. One of my friends who participated in few such studies said, ‘you all discussing and debating for so many hours on one portion or on one topic, but never give any solid conclusion for us to take. I feel that I am still hanging in the air after the study is completed.’
If I were the in-charge of such studies, I will arrange separate study for natives in their mother language and those who want only English in another group. Of course most of the Indian Christians consider either only English as the official language to read pray or conduct bible studies than in their mother tongue. I wonder how they are going to survive in the New Heaven where there won’t be English but only Tamil.
This is what I want t say that I want to be with the world but not in the world. Recluse wants to live in her own world going with bit slowly and firmly. But once the Internet, social media and gadgets came they created more problems for me than giving any pace for me to cope with this world.
I will continue to learn and share with others who are ready to go with my speed but not run to rush and push along with the crowd.
Db
16-06-2021
Simply superb. Very clear thoughts and very well articulated. I am ready to learn from you at your pace.
P….
16-06-2021
This we are already are doing. This is what I like—one to one interaction. This does not mean I don’t agree with group messages or group studies. But that is not my cup of tea. Though I too participated in group discussion and learnt a lot, when it comes for me to interact with others, I prefer one to one dialogue than addressing a group.
I shared in several places that I write everything only to address my (personal) questions and need. Of course I also answered others questions. But again they are asked individually. Even I wrote my poems only for my personal need not sharing with anyone. Almost more than 20 years I never shared my poems with anyone, even with my close friends and shishyas. Of course I composed music and we used some of them in our Mandali. But this I began to do very late. One of my close friends wife (Saradha, Kannan’s wife) when was reading and correcting spelling mistakes said, ‘why you never shared these (beautiful and inspiring) poems even with us? When one girl from USA asked some questions, in my response I quoted my poem (of course English translation). She very much liked it and asked whether I have written more poems like that. When I said ‘yes’, she requested me to share with her. Then I began to share them in our group mail (which we used before I created my blog known as ‘esatsangh’ then name changed as ‘mandali’ which now absconded by everyone).
The same is the case with my writings. When I was in North India as a new bhakta of the Lord with One ‘Christian Organization’ back in 1983, I observed their approach to sharing the gospel and the way converted Hindus became hybrid Christians. I could not agree with it. Then I began to do a deep personal Muktivedic study to know what it says. To my surprise, I saw a contradiction between what it teaches and what they were doing. I then began to raise a few questions, but their answers were traditional ones that never satisfied me. So I started recording my reflections under the heading ‘Where we failed, Why we failed, and How we Failed to Communicate the Gospel’ in a notebook. However, I never shared it with anyone.
When I met Rajesh and visited him later at his home (I think it was 1992 or 1993), during our discussion on certain points, I mentioned my writing. Before that, I had written my reflections on a book I was reading while staying with him. When he asked for my comments on it, I shared them. Then he requested me to write it down and asked my permission to share it in his bi-monthly magazine ‘To All Men All Things.’ He also asked if I had written anything else, and in that context, I mentioned what I had written on my reflections on ‘Christian’s Failure in Sharing the Gospel.’ Later, he edited it, and it was published as ‘Living Water and Indian Bowl.’
The reason for sharing this story is to point out that I wrote everything only for my personal need and to answer my questions. Similarly, I hesitate to share it with others, not because of fear of their comments or criticism, but because of my limitations in language and technical terms to communicate properly. I wish I could write more in Tamil so that I could express my thoughts clearly. Unfortunately, though I can write, I still find it difficult to find the proper technical terms in Tamil to express my theological thoughts and reflections. That is why I find some solace in my Tamil poems, in which I can share my thoughts addressing my questions and needs. Though I try to translate, I still cannot convey the original spirit.
For example, recently I exchanged a few (WhatsApp messages) with another person who has ‘Modi phobia.’ When I gave my response, he wrote that I am a devotee of the current Modi government, etc. Then I wrote back that since he failed to understand me (or my view on this point), I was not going to interact with him on this issue (of Modi phobia) any further.
I am patriotic. I like democracy. But I am not a fan of any particular political party or leader (except Mahatma Gandhi, with all his limitations but still standing taller than all other Indians). So, when there is any threat to our democracy, particularly due to dynastic politics, I feel compelled to express my view. I too have opposed BJP on several issues. But when I fail to communicate properly due to my various limitations, particularly in English, I am easily misunderstood and face backlash. I deserve it.
The same is the case with my bhakti theology. I am often misunderstood because I fail to fit into others’ theological categories when expressing my bhakti. Of course, I don’t need any validation from anyone to celebrate my bhakti in the Lord. But the lack of communication in an alien language leads to all kinds of rumors about me and my bhakti theology. A few ask questions, and I try to clarify. But a public medium like this blog is too much for me to handle. That is why I prefer the old social media of group emails, where only those who are willing to listen to each other participate. So, I think it is better for me to stop posting on the blog for now and resume later when I feel ready for it. In the meantime, this hide and seek will continue as long as I have a brain to think and an atman to pay the cost for it.
20-06-2021
It is my honor and privilege to know you and even be in regular communication with you, as you share your thoughts and teachings—it is such a blessing for me.
Wow, what a POWERFUL story. God has blessed you with a skill that inspires so many. I have your book ‘Living Water and Indian Bowl,’ gifted to me by … and that is where my journey began to meet you. Finally, I met you at …’s house in …
God has his own ways. I was recently thinking that I wish I had known the Muktinath concept as soon as I came to know Jesus, but I am sure HE knows what is required for me and will provide at the right time. But even knowing that it is HIS timing, I feel sad thinking about my current situation, so human.
Expressing in one’s mother tongue is the most natural and powerful way. I wish I had known Tamil too. In fact, the language one is surrounded by during the growing-up years has the most influence on them individually, which in my case is Hindi and Telugu and Kannada. Kannada is my mother tongue, but I grew up with Hindi and Telugu, so I completely understand what you are saying.
I wish I knew how to translate, but yes, I do know how to edit English text, as I have done this almost all the time in my professional career, and I am also not that bad with the technicality of English.
P….
20-6-2021
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