Making a decision can feel like taking on a liability. But not making a decision can paralyze you. Risk-taking is part of life in every area—whether we realize it or not, even avoiding risks is a risk in itself. By refusing to take risks, you’ve already made a risky decision.
Tension arises not when choosing between good and bad options, but when we’re forced to choose between two equally good or equally bad ones. We face this often: marriage, buying or selling a house, relocating, selecting a college or course, and deciding which option to choose or discard. These are inevitable in life. Nothing truly becomes a liability in life; otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to function at all.
Hope is the key that helps us make decisions. While opportunity knocks only once, temptation constantly leans on the door. Life is filled with missed opportunities. There’s no point in avoiding a risk only to regret missing out later. Even when something goes wrong, all is not lost.
We can never make a perfect decision in life. Many times, after making one decision, we must make further decisions as we proceed. The risk factor is always present in decision-making, and things will inevitably go wrong at times. A wise person uses even the wrong turns as stepping stones to success.
Faith, Hope, and Community Support
For a devotee, faith in God and hope in that faith, along with fellowship, seeking advice, and counseling from others, are the supports God provides. Sharing ideas and views with others, like this discussion, helps us all approach issues with a better understanding. However, it’s important not to dwell on spilled milk—”filter it, make paneer, and enjoy paneer paratha.” Thinking too much about terms like “liability” and “risk” only leads to depression.
I’m not promoting some shallow ‘Power of Positive Thinking’; I’m aware of the artificiality in such formulas. We must be practical. There’s a beautiful saying in the Thirukkural (Kural 467): Action should follow analytic decisions, resulting from deep deliberations. To postpone consideration until after commencing action is disgraceful. Reflect on this as you make decisions.
Finance and Marriage
Financial considerations are an important part of life, but we cannot base every decision, especially in marriage and raising children, solely on financial factors. These aspects are part of kama, aligned with dharma (duty). Marriage is a sacred and beautiful institution where a person need not struggle or enjoy life alone. There will always be someone to share your laughter, tears, struggles, and joys. A family life built on marriage is the backbone of society and the support system where bruised individuals can find healing and rest.
Singlehood, while a choice for some, is not always a blessing; in fact, it can sometimes feel like a curse. [Refer to my Bhakti Theology Song 51 in my blog]. While some may remain single by choice or accident, marriage and family are the pivot around which society turns. Of course, challenges will come, but these are part of life.
Many people with great wealth don’t enjoy a proper married life, while some with very little still find joy in their families. Money serves us well when it remains a slave, but once it becomes our master, it begins to control and dictate our lives.
Analyzing decisions is important, but we should never allow over-analysis to paralyze us.
A Light-Hearted Note
On a lighter note, there’s a joke only a single person can make: Marriage is like a besieged city. Those inside want to get out, and those outside want to get in.
Or, another classic: Married life is like a war—it’s easy to start but hard to stop.
The Concept of “Kaal Kattu”
In Tamil, there’s a saying, “Kaal Kattu.” When a young man remains irresponsible, the elders will say, “arrange a ‘Kaal Kattu’ for him,” which means arranging his marriage (kaal = leg; kattu = tying with a cord). This often works wonders, especially after a man holds his own child in his hands for the first time. He realizes that the weight of the world’s responsibility now rests in his hands.
Of course, this doesn’t mean a childless couple never leads a meaningful life. Just like each single person, each childless couple is unique, working out their lives in ways others cannot imitate. Yet, families, though unique, share a common ground in which the joys and struggles of life are experienced.
A Dharmic Perspective
Every coin has two sides, and life is no different. If we were to debate both the positive and negative aspects, there would be no end to the discussion. But our Dharmic values maintain one guiding principle: Lokasangraha—the welfare of the world. This means achieving maximum happiness for the maximum number of people (sarvajana hita—the common good of all).
A family—a home—is the foundation of that common good, a place where society finds its balance.
So don’t hesitate take risk in taking any decision as risk is inevitable part of life
Revised on 18-9-2024
Gurukulam
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