Shame Consciousness

This morning, I had a verbal confrontation with a man and his wife, who live in the Titan Township quarters. They go for their morning walk every day, and today, as they were returning, the wife began to pluck flowers from the plants outside my neighbor’s compound. When her husband informed her that someone was picking flowers, she immediately stopped. Although I observed them, they didn’t come to my house. However, once I entered, thinking I was out of sight, the man began to pluck flowers from my compound, which were visible from my kitchen.

While making tea, I noticed him picking the flowers, and I shouted at him to stop doing so without permission. Unashamedly, he insisted he was taking flowers from the street. This irritated me further, and I rushed from the kitchen to confront him, saying, “This is not the street; it’s inside my compound. Don’t you have any manners? How can you not feel ashamed?” He muttered something as he walked away, but I couldn’t catch his words. I called out to him, warning that he would receive different treatment if he repeated this behavior.

Later, I learned that he is a wealthy businessman and quite educated. If he had simply asked, I would have allowed him to take as many flowers as he wanted from the rooftop, which isn’t visible from the street. The worst part is that while I was watching them, they quietly moved away from my house.

In general, such incidents wouldn’t occur in the West, where one cannot encroach upon another person’s garden without permission. Of course, theft, robbery, shoplifting, and mass looting in malls still happen, but no gentleman would intrude upon another’s space without first seeking permission. In our society, however, we often see the opposite due to a pervasive ‘shame consciousness.’ Finding an Indian politician or any prominent figure willing to confess mistakes openly is a rarity. For instance, when Azharuddin was caught in a cricket betting scandal, he tried to deflect blame by invoking his Muslim identity.

We have yet to find a political leader in our country willing to admit a mistake, unlike in Western societies. South African cricket captain Hansie Cronje ultimately confessed to his wrongdoing, and even President Bush accepted the intelligence failures that led to the war in Iraq (See Times of India, Bangalore edition, December 16, 2005).

Why do we Indians lack this kind of conscience? We tend to operate with a shame consciousness rather than a guilt consciousness. Until we are caught, we often do what pleases us without considering the harm we cause to others.