“Breaking News! History bends its knees —
The Nobel Prize has hatched a brand-new tease!
A golden crown for the ‘Political Comedian Supreme,’
And who else but Donald, the emperor of meme!
At first, he roared — ‘This should be mine alone!
No copycats allowed, this is my throne!’
He threatened a 1000% tariff on every Nobel shine,
Until they swore this joke would be one of a kind.
But Donald, the dealmaker, had one more twist:
‘Benjamin Netanyahu must hand me the prize with a kiss,
And let Asif Jahangir, the Pakistan Army star,
Be the chief guest — because my comedy travels far!’”**
But alas, the grand award ceremony had to be postponed—Netanyahu was too busy fine-tuning his “Genocide for Dummies” manual in Gaza, and Asif had embarked on a world tour with a cracked, duct-taped begging bowl (the platinum edition was sadly out of budget), desperately trying to sell the idea that military puppetry qualifies as democracy.
Meanwhile, when the Nobel Committee knocked on India’s door to deal with Donald, India coolly suggested flipping the same Trump Card: “Announce the prize date only when Netanyahu vacates Gaza and recognises a sovereign Palestinian state and when Hamas releases all hostages.” In other words, the 12th of Never.
The Committee breathed a collective sigh of relief, realizing they too could play the Donald Doctrine: promise extravagantly, deliver nothing, and blame everyone else.
Ashram, July 31, 2025
Leave a Reply