BT Song 41
On 15-12-1992- morning verses from Mark 1:40-41 forced me to think deeply. Then I wrote this song.
15-12-1992-அன்று காலை மாற்கு 1;40-41 வாசகங்கள் என்னை மிகவும் ஆழ்ந்து சிந்திக்க வைத்தது. உடன் எழுதிய பாடல்:
41. மீண்டும் ஒருமுறை
சித்தமுண்டே ஸ்வாமி என்னை
இக்கணம் சுத்தமாக்க உனக்கு
தொட்டதோ பலமுறை தான்
ஆனால் சுத்தமாக வில்லை எதனால்?
நொறுங்குண்ட நெஞ்சமோ
நறுங்குண்ட ஆவியோ
நேர்மையோ வாய்மையோ
என்னில் நீ காணததால்
தள்ளினையோ என்னையும்
தயை இல்லையோ உன்னுள்ளும்?
நீயளித்த வாக்கும் எங்கே?
என்பாரம் நீக்கிடவே?
ஏன் விட்டாய் என்னையும்
என் இஷ்டம்போல் வாழவே?
ஏதுதான் இதற்குக் காரணம்
இக்கணமே சொல்லிடுவாய்
பாரினில் உன் பாதமன்றி
பற்றிட வேறு ஏது கண்டேன்?
அதனால் பாதகன் மீதிறங்கி
பரிவாக மீண்டும் தொட்டிடுவாய்!
41. One more time
Lord, you have the will
To cleanse me now itself
You have touched me several times
But why didn’t I become pure yet?
Did you reject me?
Don’t you have mercy on me?
As I don’t have a broken heart
Or constraint spirit
Or you could not see in me
Honesty and transparency?
Where is your promise?
That you gave to unload my burden
Why you allowed me to live
As I like?
Tell me the reason
For this now itself
Where else can I find it?
To cling on this world except your feet?
Therefore, by showing mercy to this rascal
Touch me one more time.
One thing that I found strange in the early walk of my bhakti was that whenever I read Mukti Veda, rather than being encouraged by God’s blessings and promises, I felt more guilt and shame as my meditation ended, finally thinking my wretched condition of present life or the sins of the past. Even the blessings and promises never came independently without any condition or command. In fact, every promise presupposed some command. In other words, instead of creating a spirit of bhakti Mukti Veda often creates some kind of guilty conscience.
One reason that I found was that Mukti Veda is neither a book on philosophy or ethics. Rather it is a work manual dealing with our relationship with both God and men. As most of the time our relationship with others is more ‘selfish’ oriented than ‘service’ oriented, the command of God to love God and one’s neighbour more points to my failures and sins than to exclusively think about the blessings and promises that Mukti Veda talks about. That is why even in my personal time with the Lord I cannot avoid my relationship and responsibility towards others which is more important for God. So, both bhakti and mukti could be personal but not definitely PRIVATE ONE.
20-6-14
BT Song 42
24-01-1993 when I was thinking that along with the grace of God our efforts were also important, I wrote this song.
24-01-1993 அன்று இறைவன் கிருபையுடன் உள்ள முயற்சியே எல்லாவற்றிற்கும் அவசியம் என்று எண்ணியபோது எழுதிய பாடல்:
Bhakti brings a balance in theology. It will never take to one extreme. This is true even with grace versus karma. Though faith and bhakti are one and the same, as bhakti emphasizes more on personal relationships it reminds us to keep the balance between grace and karma. No friendship lasts for a long time unless it is nurtured by both sides. Similarly grace never works independently without our efforts. Though God is not limited, yet He is happily limiting Himself to work only through our efforts in every area of life. Of course, He has the power to overrule our efforts in extraordinary situations. Yet He won’t step in unless we are exhorted by doing our part. We cannot do God’s part and He won’t do our part. In this context I like Philip. 4:6-7—which includes thanksgiving, our efforts and God’s grace which brings the peace which guards our heart and mind to think properly on our part.
We give thanks to someone only after receiving the help. But Sevanand asks us first to begin with thanks giving. Because he reminds us that our prayers will be answered. That could be even a ‘no’, but it is an answer. When confronted by any challenge either we use our emotion (efforts) or reason (brain) to overcome it. But a supplication with thanksgiving will first bring peace to God which passes all kinds of understanding. As it will guard our heart (emotion) and brain (reason), then we think soberly using the same heart and brain to handle that challenge. In these verses I see a combination of efforts and grace of God woven together with a practical application rather than going one extreme.
No doubt that I have to turn to Mukti Veda for practical guidance to lead a normal life—which never philosophies any situation. That is why Mukti Veda is of the people for the people and by the people than a work of an independent philosopher sharing her views after contemplation in isolation. No doubt that Mukti Veda is more people oriented than God oriented.
20-6-14
42. அருளும் முயற்சியும்
துணிவும் இறைவன் அருளும்
ஒன்றாய்த் துணை சேரும் போது
கலக்கம் ஆங்கே மனதில்
கணநேரமும் நின்றிடாது
முயற்சியில்லா வேண்ட.ல்
மூடத்தனமான செயலே
அருளை நாடா சுயமுயற்சி
ஆணவத்தின் உச்ச நிலையே
முயற்சி திருவினையாக்கும்
முயன்று அதில் முனையும்போது
அருளும் அதனைத் தொடரும்
அவனடி பணியும் போது
முடவன் தேனெடுக்க முயன்று
முயற்சி பலவும் செய்தும்
வெறும் விரல் நக்குவதன்றி
வேறொரு பயன் அடையான்
அருளற்ற முயற்சி முடமே
அறிவாய் இதனை மனமே
அருளும் முயற்சியும் இணைந்தால்
அடைவாய் வேண்டிய துணிவே!
42. Grace and efforts
When courage is accompanied
by the grace of God
no disturbance will stand
even for a moment in heart
Prayer without efforts
Is a foolish act
Self-effort without seeking grace
Is the climax of pride?
Efforts bring result
When press forward with interest
Grace will follow it
When we seek His feet
Though a physically challenged man makes several efforts
To get the honey from the beehive
Without simply licking his fingers
He won’t get anything
Efforts too without grace is a waste
O mind know this now
When efforts and grace join together
You will get enough courage
BT Song 43
On 05-02-1993 morning after morning meditation, I wrote this song.
05-02-1993 அன்று காலை தியானத்தின் போது எழுதிய பாடல்:
This is a big subject and I know I am not competent to share any of my thoughts other than my experience. The one new thing that Hindus will find among the Christians is the extemporaneous prayer. When I was at Madhubani, one college professor, a staunch Vaishnavite, often came to see me. We will go to the nearby college ground in the evening to talk without much disturbance. He is more interested in spirituality and likes to talk with me. He heard about me through some of his students who became my shishyas.
One evening after a long talk, suddenly I felt some compulsion to pray for him, as I never prayed with him in our previous occasions. With his permission I prayed. After my prayer he said that he never heard such a prayer for others before that. Then he said, ‘why not start a new sampradhaya (sect). Just drop the word Mukti Nath and instead keep the generic word for God. But integrate all the thoughts from the Mukti Veda. Several people like me will follow you’. I traced my diary entries during my time in Madhubani but I could not find his name. But in response I said, ‘if I have to drop the Name of the Lord from my bhakti, then I will become an empty vessel.’ And after a few more visits he stopped coming to see me.
Similarly, in my encounter with many so-called high caste people our prayer for them greatly influenced them. One time at Rewa, as I had to rush to catch the bus to go to Satna (65 kms away) to catch the train, Shashikant’s father said, ‘maharaj, you cannot leave without praying for us’. So, I have to pray and then leave.
Of course, I know such prayers by Christians for others as I attended Sunday school with my school friend back in 19965-1969 at Virudhachalam. But when I became a bhakta of the Lord, though I quickly adapted to this practice, yet like many others I too struggled a lot here.
Though I too give importance to prayer, yet I don’t believe in uttering too many words. In the early days when we prayed as a group most of the time my prayer would end with small prayers. One time in 1981 for the annual camp when we gathered to pray for the meeting, one by one we were praying. When my turn came, I simply prayed ‘Lord bless the participants to receive your blessing and also guide us to conduct the meeting properly’. Then I closed with the usual formula of ‘in the name of Mukti Nath’. Later one senior told me that when I pray, I should not pray simply making it like a statement but pray more forcefully (வல்லமையா ஜெபிக்கனும்). What he meant was that I should not close the prayer with a short sentence with few words, as they were not familiar with it.
Similarly, it really disturbed me when the sentences were often punctuated with so many words like ‘Lord’, ‘God’ etc. Rev. Christdass was my Church history teacher and he liked me very much. I will often visit him to talk in person to raise so many questions about Mukti Veda and church history. He always called me ‘my dear son’. When I questioned him about using the word ‘Lord; God; Mukti Nath’ in between prayers, next day in the class before teaching he wrote the following prayer in Tamil on the board:
பாவியாகிய ஆண்டவரே, நீச பாவியாகிய கர்த்தாவே, இருளில் இருக்கும் தேவனே, அடியேனுக்கு இறங்கும்
Sinful Lord, worst sinful God, (one) dwells in darkness, show mercy to this slave….
பாவியாகிய, நீச பாவியாகிய, இருளில் இருக்கும், அடியேனுக்கு இறங்கும்
Sinful, worst sinful, dwelling in darkness, …show mercy to this slave (show mercy to this slave who is a worst sinner dwell in darkness)
இரட்சிக்கப்படாத ஆண்டவரே, இருளில் இருக்கும் கர்த்தாவே, மக்களுக்காக ஸ்வாமி
Unsaved Lord, God (who) dwells in darkness, for people ….
இரட்சிக்கப்படாத, இருளில் இருக்கும், மக்களுக்காக ஸ்வாமி
Unsaved, dwelling in darkness for people swami (for the salvation of the people who dwell in darkness)
Then he pointed out how by punctuating unnecessarily so many words in between sentences we don’t even understand what we are saying or praying. In the name of confessing our sinfulness and seeking God’s mercy in every prayer, we make Lord and God as the worst sinners. He too often prayed very short prayers several times not even ending with the formula of ‘in the name of Mukti Nath’. Sri Malik at Darbhanga in North Bihar is another one who will never use long sentences or end formula of ‘in the name of Mukti Nath’. I don’t know why and from where it originated?
Another irritating thing to me is quoting lots of verses that too in verbatim with chapter and verse number in prayer. The reason they give to this is ‘claiming’ the promise of God in prayer. But my response would be ‘you claim all your promise and warning’ in your personal prayer but keep them at the minimum in corporate prayers.
Similarly, instead of praying for a specific point, some will begin to share the gospel. I know one person. He will only quote verses, chapter, share the gospel, but also teach church/mission history in prayer. That is why when any one is asked to pray for food, I with a smile will say, ‘pray shortly only for the food before it becomes too cold’.
One time at Theni in Tamil Nādu (back in 1985 or 86), one person often repeated the sentence ‘Lord you know all’ (ஆண்டவரே உமக்குத் தெரியும்). Then I said, ‘well, Lord knows all, but we don’t know. So instead of punctuation this formula would you please share your concerns?’ Related to this is sharing the points for prayer. There is no point of sharing elaborately and then praying for that again repeating the same thing in prayer’. If the person shared the points/concerns elaborately then prayer should be short and to the specifics and not like what we see in TV news where the News reader and the reporter from the spot will almost say the same point and we have to listen to it twice.
Like this I had so many issues with prayers. These are outward forms. For me my wandering thought too is a kind of prayer. When I sit for prayer, I will say to myself, ‘ok my brain (as I don’t believe in any mind) wander wherever you want. But they are going to be my prayers’. Likewise singing some songs is also prayer for me. In fact several of my poems were written when I sat for prayer. And when I get the inspiration, I will write the poem and then sing it as my prayer and end my prayer time. Somewhere I read that ‘a deep sigh and a falling of tears’ are also our prayers.
Of course I agree that when we begin to concentrate more on the ‘rationalistic presentation’ of our prayers (as I said above), particularly either to impress or irritate others, then it will spoil the atmosphere of prayer. So when we join with others in prayer, we should help others to join in spirit and not disturb them. For this we have to involve both our brain and heart, which is a sadhana in itself.
Another subject often discussed about which I also read is that ‘we read Mukti Veda without prayer but we cannot pray without reading Mukti Veda’. Such a statement should be viewed as idealism rather than practical. If we cannot pray without reading (to know God’s will) Mukti Veda, then illiterate people who follow the Lord cannot pray.
For me prayer is nothing but pouring my heart to the Lord. In my personal time I have all my freedom to do what I want to do in my prayer. But when it comes to corporate prayer, going to one extreme of ‘rationalistic formula’ versus free for all is not good.
I know well that I am not perfect when it comes to prayer and repeat the same mistakes which I found in others. Nobody can share anything only when they become perfect in any idealism. In a sense what all I shared above is a kind of self-criticism rather than taking any higher spiritual ground when it comes to prayer.
43. ஜெபமும் வேதமும்
சிந்தையின் ஓட்டமெல்லாம்
ஜெபமாக மாற்றி
இறைவனின் பாதத்தில்
படைத்திடும் போதினிலே
சிதறிய மனமதுவே
சீராக மாறி
சேர்ந்திடும் அவன் பாதம்
ஜெபமாக மாறி
எண்ணமது அடங்காது
எவ்வளவு முயன்றாலும்
எளிதாக அதையடக்க
ஜெபமே ஆதாரம்
அதிக வசனிப்பால்
அடங்காது மனமே
அமர்ந்திடு அவன் பாதம்
தியானத்தில் தினமே
வேத மந்திரமெல்லாம்
வெறும் வார்த்தை யாமே
“வேண்டுதல்” அன்றி அதை
தியானிக்கும் போது
ஜெபமொடு வேதமது
சேர்ந்திடும் பொழுதே
சிந்தையது சரணடையும்
இறைவனின் பாதம்
43. Prayer and Mukti Veda
When we offer our very thoughts
As a prayer
And submit at the
Feet of the Lord
The wandering mind
Will be disciplined
And will reach His feet
By making thoughts as prayer
However we try
Mind cannot be controlled
Prayer is the only means
To control it easily
By merely uttering many word
Mind won’t be controlled
Sit at His feet everyday
Through meditation
The Vedic mantras (here verses in Mukti Veda)
Are mere words
If we meditate it
Without prayer
When prayer and Mukti Veda
Mingle together
Our mind will take refuge
At His feet
21-6-14
BT Song 44
On 01-03-1993 in my morning devotion, when I thought that most of the time fear is the motive behind seeking God in many people’s lives, I wrote this song.
01-03-1993-அன்று காலை தியானத்தின் போது, பெரும்பாலான மக்களின் இறை உணர்வு ஒரு வித பயத்தின் காரணமாக இருப்பதை சிந்தித்த போது எழுதிய பாடல்
44. அன்பின் உயர்நிலை
அன்பன்றோ அவனியில் உயர்நிலை
அறியாரே மானிடர் அந்நிலை
அதைக் காட்ட அடைந்தாய் நீ என்நிலை
துணிவாய் துறந்தே உன் நிலை
அச்சம் ஒன்றே அவனியில்
அனைவருக்கும் இறை மீது உள்ளது
அந்தோ என்னே பரிதாபம்
அதன்கண் வாழும் மனு நிலை
அன்பற்ற தொழுதலின் அவநிலை
உயிரற்ற உடலது ஆகுமே!
உண்மை பக்தனின் உயிர்நிலை
உள்ளான அன்பது ஆகுமே
உலகிற்கு இவ்வழி காட்டவே
உவந்தே வந்தாய் மனுவாக
உன்னுயிர் அளித்தனை எமக்காக
ஊற்றினை அன்பதை உயர்வாக
அன்பின் வழியது உயர்நிலை
அறிந்தேன் இன்று அந்நிலை
அறிந்தே நீயும் என் நிலை
அருள்வாய் மென்மேலும் அந்நிலை
44. Love is supreme
Love is the supreme in this world
But people don’t understand this
To demonstrate it you took my nature/form
By giving up your noble status
Most of the people in this world
Have only fear about God
What a pity as they have
To live with such an attitude?
Worshipping God without love
Is like a body without life
But the inner love is
Is the very life of a bhakta
To show this path (of love)
You came voluntarily as human
You gave your dear life for us
And poured out your noble love on us
Love is the noble one
I understood that today
As you know my condition
Give me that more and more
There is no place for ‘appeasement’ in true bhakti. But unfortunately, it is a reality among Hindus in their devotion to their deities. They have this assumption or fear that not doing certain rituals in a prescribed form will induce the wrath of their deities [particularly family deity]. And elaborate remedy rituals will be prescribed and carried out later. Any tragedy that falls in a family will be first related to the wrath of ‘kula devata’ (family deity). And a vow will be taken to visit their family deity shrine if that particular tragedy is to be averted. In case if it already happened, like sudden death of children or youths, a visit to the family deity will be planned in near future.
Even among the so-called high caste people this is quite common. Sometimes not performing an ancestor’s annual ritual (sraddha) for a long time will be one of the many reasons for the unexpected tragedy in the family. Apart from this bad time, plant influence, birth of new babies or the horoscope of the life partner etc. also bring unwanted trouble to the family.
When I met one parent of a bhakta at Chennai, this subject also came up for our discussion. Then I said to them:
We know poems in which the writer says that what a (good or bad) day, time, karma, planets and even Yama (deity of death) etc. could do to her, as the hands and feet of her deity will come before her with full armor.1 Also we know Jnasambandar’s ‘kolaru padigam’ in which he sings to ward off the influence of the nine planets in the life of a devotee.2 We sing these songs in our puja and worship, but after the puja is finished, when we began the day’s work, we immediately consult all the bad omens, good and bad times, astrology etc. By this, we are telling our god that though I have faith in you, yet I cannot trust that you will protect me, as these songs claim which I have just recited in puja. Believing in such writings, but by not implementing them, we are proving that either our bhakti is false or God is false.
The common response to this is that though gods can overcome any situation, as we cannot escape from the influence of our karmas, we have to undergo such tragedies in which gods too are helpless. Such contradicting views are common in Hinduism as it accommodates all kinds of views.
But according to Mukti Veda, God never punishes us by sending tragedies in our lives, though He might allow suffering to discipline us. Certain tragedies that we face could be the consequence of our acts to which we cannot blame God.
This is a great relief for me when I understand God’s love for me through our Lord. I need not blame God, karma, or bad times (as Goswami Tulsidas said: kalahi karmahi ishwar par mithya dosh lagatehai—quoted from memory) for any tragedy in my life. I need not be afraid of anything in life—even of God.
The ‘fear of God’ which Mukti Veda talks about is more a reverence and moral fear than animistic kind of fear of some punishment from God. Though I cannot write poems in English, yet I wrote the following lines on March 1, 1993:
LOVE ALONE
Love its love alone-that
force me to love you, Lord.
Neither have I had fear of hell
nor I have fear of God,
but love its love alone,
that forces me to love you, Lord.
If you came down on the earth,
It’s love that forces you.
Gave your life on the cross,
Love is the motive for that too.
As your bhakta I can come
on this basis of love alone.
Ask I you nothing but this
one blessing to fill my heart.
No doubt Mukti Veda is unique for me and Mukti Nath is unique for me as He removed the fear about death (what will happen after that?), people (for their opinion about me) and future (anxiety about tomorrow) in my life. I also accept that most of the time such fear disturbs us. In a sense my bhakti in the Lord addresses the three major dukhas (pains) in Hinduism: (adhyatmika, adhibhautika and adidaivika—caused by oneself, by external forces other than oneself or even by gods. (more on this in Living Dialogue)
22-6-14
1.. நாள் என் செயும் வினைதான் என் செயும்
எனை நாடிவந்த கோள் என் செயும்
கொடுங் கூற்றென் செயும்
குமரேசன் இரு தாளும், தோளும்
சதங்கையும், சண்முகமும் கடம்பும்
எனக்கு முன்னே வந்து தோன்றிடினே?
–quoted from memory.
2.. ஞாயிறு திங்கள் செவ்வாய்
புதன் வியாழன் வெள்ளி
சனி பாம்பிரண்டு முடனே
ஆசறு நல்ல நல்ல
அவை நல்ல நல்ல
அடியார் அவர்க்கு மிகவே.–சம்பந்தர்.
கோளறு பதிகம்.
–quoted from memory.
21-6-14
BT Song 45
ரீவாவில் தங்கிய போதெல்லாம் சில அடிப்படையான தேவைகள் கூட பலமுறை எனக்கு மறுக்கப்பட்டுள்ளது. 03-04-1993-அன்று அத்தகைய ஒரு நிலை [காலைக் கடன்களை முடிக்க கூட மிகவும் அலைய வேண்டி இருந்தது.] ஏற்பட்டபோது எழுதிய பாடல்:
45. சுய வெறுப்பு
ஆடம்பரத்தை நான் நாடவில்லை
அதிக வசதியும் தேடவில்லை
அடிப்படைத் தேவை மறுத்திடும் போது
ஆத்திரம் ஒன்றே மேலோங்கிடுது
எல்லோரும் பிறந்தது சமமாக என்றால்
ஏன் இந்த முரண்பாடு உலகினில் இங்கு?
பசி ஏப்பம் விடும் பாமரர் ஒருபுறம்
புளி ஏப்பம் விடும் பணக்காரர் மறுபுறம்
யாரிடம் சென்று முறையீடு செய்வது?
“ஏன்” என்ற கேள்வியே என்றும் மிஞ்சுது
வல்லவன் வகுத்ததே வாய்க்கால் ஆனபின்
வறியவர் மீண்டிட வழியிங்கு ஏது?
இரக்கும் நிலையை உலகினில் வைத்த
இறைவன் அன்றிப் பொறுப்பிதற்கு யாரு?
“இரந்தும் உயிர்வாழ்தல் வேண்டின்
பரந்து கெடுக உலகியற்றியான்”
என்று வள்ளுவன் இயற்றிய குறளும்
எவ்வளவு உண்மை இந்நிலையில்!
ஏழ்மையின் கொடுமையைத் தாங்காமல் நானும்
இறையிடம் முறையிட்டேன் இந்நிலைக் காண!
பதிலுக்கு எதிர்பார்த்துக் காத்திடும் போது
பதிலாக வந்தது கேள்வியே இங்கு
“எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வுண்டாம்
உய்வில்லை செய்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு.
என்பதும் வள்ளுவன் இயற்றிய குறளே
ஏனிதை மறந்தாய் என் இனிய மகனே?
மனிதன் தேவைக்கு வேண்டிய யாவும்
மனமுவந்தளித்தேன் இயற்கையில் நானும்
அவரின் ஆசைக்கு எல்லையே காணும்
அதற்கு முன் வறியவன் ஆனேன் நானும்
உள்ளவன் ஏய்க்கிறான் வறியவனையே
தன்சுகம் ஒன்றையே என்றும் நினைப்பதால்
ஏழையும் ஏழ்மையின்மீது பழி கூறி
என்றும் வாழ்கின்றான் சோம்பேறியாக
இருவருக்கும் இடையில் ஒரு சமநிலை வேண்டும்
அதற்கு ஆயத்தம் என்றால் நீயும்
அனுதினம் பின்தொடர் என்னை என்றும்
சோம்பேறி-செல்வந்தர்க்கு மத்தியிலே
செல்வத்தைப் பங்கிடவோ வந்தேன் நானும்?
என்னிடம் உள்ளது பதிலோ ஒன்று
ஏற்றிட ஆயத்தமா நீ இங்கு இன்று?
சுய வெறுப்புடன் சீடர் சிலரேனும்
சிலுவையைச் சுமந்தே நாளும் பணிவோடு
என்னைப்போல் உலகினில் வாழ்ந்திடும் அன்று
சமநிலை வந்திடும் தரணியில் நன்று
அதை அறிவாயே நீ முதலிலே இன்று”!
I have to warn you before you read this. This will contain certain issues which are not discussed openly and considered as un-modest. But as I went through such faces in my life which forced me to vent out my frustration through poems, I share this. If you are not comfortable to read such thoughts, better ignore it.
When I stayed at Rewa, several basic needs were denied to me. One time when I faced a similar situation, out of frustration I wrote this song. There is some confusion in my diary entry about the date. One reason could be that some songs I started some time ago and completed later.
45. Self-denial
I neither seek luxury
Nor too many comforts
When basic needs are denied
Only anger (frustration) overcomes me
If all were born equally
Why this much contradiction in this world?
On one side poor suffer due to poverty
Whereas rich are indulge in luxury
To whom shall we make complaints?
Finally the question ‘why’ alone remains unanswered.
When might became the right
Where is the hope for the poor?
Who else is responsible for this?
Other than God who allowed this on earth?
How true it is
When Thiruvalluvar said that
‘If one has to live by begging
Let God himself come and beg’
As I cannot tolerate such poverty
I complained to God to see this situation
When I was waiting for the answer
Another question alone came in way of response (from God):
‘There is no hope for redemption
For an ungrateful person’!
This too is the words of Valluvan
and why did you forget that my dear son?
I provided enough whole heartedly
for the need of humans through nature
But I never see any limit to their desire
And I too became poor before their greed!
Those who ‘have plenty’ cheat the poor
When they think only of their comfort
The poor also blaming poverty
Lives always in laziness!
A balance should be kept between them
If you are ready for that
Then you follow me daily
Did I come to divide the property
Between lazy and rich?
But I have one answer even to this
But are you ready to accept it today?
At least if few shishyas of mine
Having self-denial and ready to carry the cross with much humility
When began to live like me on this earth
Then that balance will come in this world
Better you understand this now!”
Rather than any other place, due to many circumstances and reasons I had to struggle a lot each time during my visit to Rewa. One time I had to immediately travel to Varanasi after I travelled overnight from Lucknow to reach Rewa as I could not find proper accommodation.
Rewa is a hot place even in April. So when I reached Rewa one summer, I could not stay with the person with whom I used to stay before I visited other villages. As so many relatives came to stay with him in a one-bedroom small house, I cannot even use their toilet as it is just opposite to the kitchen that is adjacent to the hall where all the ladies were staying and sleeping.
When I reached Rewa already it was 9.00 am and it became very hot. As I cannot stay with that person, then I was requested to stay with another shishyas who was studying in the college by staying in a small room without running water or toilet. So when I reached his house by 10 pm, he was ready to leave for his college and he gave the key and asked me to prepare my food. But my immediate need was to use the toilet.
In many parts of North India (even over all in whole India) in many rural areas even today we have to go to open fields to release ourselves. Though Rewa is a big city, as that boy stayed in a small room with tin sheet roof (day no one can stay inside such a room), where there was no toilet. So like many in India, I too took a pot of water (in a vessel known as lota. The same vessel will be cleaned with mud and used to drink water. But in a few places now this practice is changed and they take water in some plastic containers) and begin to search for a hiding place but could not find one as there was no field to hide as there were so many other houses and people also began to move. Finally I managed to find a place in some stone quarry by climbing down on the hot son. But it was too dirty as so many people already used it as a toilet in the morning.
As a digression I here I would like to tell one humorous incident that took place back in 1986 when I was at Madhubani in North Bihar. Along with my co-worker we went inside Nepal as we had several contacts there. That boy was entirely new and never had the habit of going out in the open to release him. Next day morning I guided him how to do that. But he was not ready, but as there was no other alternative, he took water and began to walk. Finally he reached the border of the next village and as he could not find a place to hide himself, he came with much frustration and began to complain about taking him to such a place. Then I said, ‘in India and Nepal rarely you will find a place without people. Just hide inside some bamboo grove.’ ‘What if someone suddenly crossed’” was his question. ‘Then close your eyes’. When I said this, he could not control and began to laugh.
When I make such complaints some (like Chakaravarthy) would say ‘why not stay in some hotel rather than undergoing such a problem?’ But I never like to stay in hotels or hotel food. In several of my travels I spent the whole night sitting at the railway station or at the bus-stand but never liked to stay in a hotel. I don’t like the smell of the room, bed etc. As I never liked costly hotels, I preferred to stay at the railway station than to go to a hotel. I will adjust in any house with all limitations than to stay in a hotel.
Another interesting point in this song is the way I used Tirukkural, even quoted by the Lord in response to my complaints? I am not sure others have done it or will approve it. But I never come across in any of my reading, making the Lord to quote from some other literature or scripture. Poems never follow strict convention rules in many areas and give extreme freedom to a person to express her thoughts in any form.
Questioning or condemning God for poverty is common in Tamil literature. I don’t know about other languages. I would like to quote another one such song only for the Tamilians to read it:
18. கல்லைத்தான் மண்ணைத்தான் காய்ச்சித்தான்
குடிக்கத்தான் கற்பித் தானா
இல்லைத்தான் பொன்னைத்தா னெனக்குத்தான்
கொடுத்துத்தா னிரட்சித் தானா
அல்லைத்தான் சொல்லித்தா னாரைத்தா
னோவத்தா னையோ வெங்கும்
பல்லைத்தான் திறக்கத்தான் பதுமத்தான்
புவியிற்றான் பண்ணி னானே.
இராமச்சந்திர கவிராயர்
உரை: பதுமத்தான்-தாமரைப் பூவிலிருக்கும் அயன், கல்லைத்தான் மண்ணைத்தான் காய்ச்சித்தான் குடிக்கத்தான் கற்பித்தானா…இல்லைத்தான் பொன்னைத்தான்-குடியிருக்க வீட்டையும் செலவழிக்கப் பொருளையும், எனக்குத்தான் கொடுத்தானா…அல்லைத்தான் சொல்லைத்தான்-படுந் துயரத்தை கூறி, ஆரைத்தான் நோவத்தான்-யாரை நொந்து கொள்வது, ஐயா எங்கும் பல்லைத்தான் திறக்கத்தான்…., புவியில்தான் பண்ணினானே-பூமியில் நம்மைப் படைத்து விட்டான்.- தனிப்பாடல் திரட்டு,உரை கா. சுப்பிரமணிய பிள்ளை, சென்னை, நல்லறப் பதிப்பகம், 2007, முதல் தொகுதி, ப. 473
23-6-14
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