The two songs [65 and 66] were written based on the two famous songs sung by Bharat Ratna late Srimati M. S. Subbulakshmi.
இப்பாடலும் அடுத்த பாடலும் திருமதி. எம். எஸ். சுப்புலஷ்மி பாடிய இரண்டு பிரபலமான பாடல்களைத் தழுவி எழுதியது. அடிப்படைவாதிகள் அதை எதிர்க்களாம். ஆனால் என்போன்ற இந்து முக்தேசன் பக்கதர்களுக்கு அப்படிப்பட்ட உரிமை உள்ளது:
65. குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை
குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை மறைகூறும் இறைவா
குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை ஸ்வாமி எனக்கு
எனக்கு குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை ஐயா…
புலனுக்கு புறம்பாக நிற்கின்ற போதும்
புனிதனே உன்னருள் எனக்கென்றும் வேண்டும்–குறை ஒன்றும்….
வேண்டிடும் நலம் யாவும் நிறைவாய் அருள்வாய்
வேண்டாத குணம்போக்க அருளும் தருவாய்–குறை ஒன்றும்…
தேவா அருள் நாதா
இறைவா என் தலைவா….
11-05-1994.
65. Nothing I lack
Nothing I lack O God who is portrayed by Veda
Nothing I lack
Even though you stand outside to my senses
O holy one I need your grace
You will bestow all the benefits to me
And will give grace to remove unneeded gunas from me
O Lord, graceful One
My God and my Master…
11-05-1994.
66. காண்பதெப்போது ஐயனே
காண்பதெப்போ தென் ஐயனே-உன்னை
கண்குளிர நான்
என்கலி தீர–காண்பதெப்போ தென்….
புவிதனுக் கிறங்கியே
சிலுவையில் மரித்தாய்
அபயமென்றே வந்த
கள்வனைக் காத்தாய்
உபசாரம் அறியேன்
சிறியேன் செய்பல
அபச்சாரம் பொறுத்து
ஆட்கொண்ட உந்தனை–காண்ப….
01-04-1994
66. When I am going to have your darshan
When I am going to see you
For the content of my eyes
And also to remove my ‘kali’@
Having pity on this world
You died on the cross
You protected the thief
Who sought your feet?
But I don’t know such formalities
And when I am going to see you
As you kindly bearing all the offences
Done by this little one and saved me
@’Kali’ stands for all the bad karmas, evil times etc.
01-04-1994
When I write such songs adapting Hindu songs and bhajans I pay more attention to the music and words closer to the original than on theological aspects. For me such songs written by me cater to my need to sing in Carnatic Music. Of course Hindu fundamentalists will object to such practice. But as a Hindu bhakta, it is my birth right to use my own format without distorting the original one.
I wish I could send the Tamil text with English meaning. But I think it will be available on the Internet as this is a famous song. I checked the Internet and Song 65 ‘Kuraiondrum illai’ is available on the Internet. If you listen, then some of you can understand my passion for Carnatic music.
BT Song 67
Based on one of Bhajagovindam, I wrote this song.1
பஜகோவிந்தத்தின் ஒருபாடலின் அடிப்படையில் எழுதியது:
67. காலையும் சென்றது மாலையும் வந்தது
கழிந்தது ஓர்நாள் வாழ்வினிலே
கடந்தது கோடை வந்தது வசந்தம்
காலமோ விளையாடுது வாழ்வினிலே
கழிந்தது இளமை வந்தது முதுமை
காலமும் போனது வாழ்வினிலே
கண்கூடாக இந்நிலைக் கண்டும்
களங்கமும் நீங்கலை மனதினிலே!
29-05-1994
67. Time is fleeting
Morning has gone and evening has come
One day has gone in life
Summer is gone and spring has come
Time is playing in life
Youth is gone old age has come
Time has gone in life
Even after seeing this
Evil has not yet removed from heart
29-05-1994
Bhajagovindam is one of my favourite Sanskrit slokas. When one reads she will be moved by the depth of its meaning written with very few words in Sanskrit. Though I often heard it before I became a bhakta of the Lord, yet I began to understand its meaning only latter. The entire Bhajagovindam is attributed to Sri Adi Sankara. But few scholars rejected it. Others attributed only the first 12 stanzas to Sankara and rest to his disciples. This bhajan depicts the vanity of life in its reality. Added to the meaning, the way it was sung by Smt. M. S. Subbhulakshmi (MSS) become one of her best contributions to the Carnatic music legacy. Though we need not agree with its doctrine, by listening and understanding its meaning will help us to know its influence on many Hindus even today. One can listen it in YouTube now with text.
Another thought is: can we use other such bhajans and music as part of our sadhana? Though many have their genuine reservation against, I say ‘yes’. I cannot escape from two temptations in my life even now: listening Carnatic music—not part of enjoyment or time pass, but part of my sadhana and the next is reading books. When I listen to any Christian music (sorry to such words ‘Christian music’ as there never exists any ‘Christian music’) which is not coming in pure Classic form, I never felt any desire to listen it again or to use it part of my sadhana. Though the meaning is very impressive yet the music never enhances the spirit to use them for my sadhana. However I like gazal type, as such songs come in their original form. I have with me one Pakistani Christian Gazal which appeals to my spirit than the non-classical Indian Christian songs.
14-7-14
1, dinaya minyau sayam praataha:
Sisira vasantau puraa yaataha:
Kaalahi kridati gachati aayuhu
Databi na muncati aasha paasaha—quoted from memory
BT Song 68
68. வேண்டும்
சிந்தையில் தூய்மை வேண்டும்
செயலிலே உண்மை வேண்டும்
வாக்கிலே அருளும் வேண்டும்
வாழ்க்கையில் கிருபை வேண்டும்
நோக்கத்தில் தெளிவு வேண்டும்
ஆக்கத்தில் ஆர்வம் வேண்டும்
அழைப்பிலே நிலைக்க வேண்டும்
அதற்கு நீ உதவ வேண்டும்
07-08-1994. லக்னோ.
68 I require
I need purity in my mind
I should remain truthful in my act
I need grace in my words
I need your grace in life
I need clarity in my aim
I need enthusiasm in my efforts
I should remain steadfast in my call
You should help me for that
07-08-1994. Lucknow
At this time in 1994, I moved in a new situation. But I was not happy with many things that happened around me and I was much confused about what to do next. Every new situation brings its own challenges, confusion, uncertainty, and anxiety. But as I moved away from my familiar circle, I felt left alone without anyone to whom I can share and discuss that situation openly. That time I wrote this song. As usual, when I cannot pray much, I write such songs as part of my prayer.
14-7-14
BT Song 69
69. முடியாத மன்றாடல்
மன்னியும் ஐயாஎன மன்றாட முடியாத
மாபெரும் பாவியானேன்
மனதாலே செய்த பிழை பலவாகி அதனாலே
மீளாத பழிக்கும் ஆனேன்
எவ்வளவோ முறை என்னென்ன தீர்மானம்
எடுத்துமோர் பயனும் காணேன்
ஏனிங்கு என்வாழ்வில் இவ்வளவு தோல்விகள்
இதற்குமோர் விடையும் காணேன்
சோதனை பலவாகத் தாக்கிடும் போதிலே
செயலற்று நின்று போனேன்
சொல்லினில் கூறிட இயலாத நிலையில்
சோர்வினால் தளர்ந்து போனேன்
பலவீனம் அதன்மீது பழிகூறி பலமுறை
பாவத்திலே உழன்றேன் நானும்
பரிகாரம் நீயன்றி வேறெங்கும் காணாமல்
பதறியே வந்தேன் மீண்டும்
கொண்டாலும் தள்ளினும் கோவே உன்னருளன்றி
குணம்காண வழியும் காணேன்
அன்றென்னை ஆட்கொண்ட அருளுண்டு உன்னிடம்
அதனாலே வந்து நின்றேன்
புலம்பிடும் புலையனின் பிழைதனைப் பொறுத்திடு
புனிதனே உன்னிடம் சரணடைந்தேன்
.
13-09-1994. பெங்களூரு.
69 A prayer which I cannot utter
I become a worst sinner
Who cannot even seek forgiveness from you
As the errors that I have done through my heart become manifold
I become un-redeemably blamable
Though many times I took several decisions
I don’t find any use in them
Why this much failures in life
I don’t find answer for this
As many temptations attack me
I become stand still
As I cannot utter this condition
I become very weak because of depression
Blaming my weakness many times
I indulged in sin
As I cannot found any other remedy
I came unto you with much panic
If you accept me or reject, O King without your grace
I don’t find any other means to be healed
I come unto you
As you have the same grace which redeemed in the past
Forgive the mistakes of this mean one who laments
Oh Holy One I took refuge unto you.
13-09-1994. Bangaluru.
My definition of sin is: anything that separates me from my Lord is sin. The cruelty of sin is that it affects the person more who has done it than the victim. It parallelises the entire person and it takes time to come out from that condition. Though one can feel the forgiveness of God and receiving His grace to heal and restore her, yet it takes time to come back to normal life—particular with spiritual activity related to sadhana. I have stopped reading Mukti Veda and praying when I underwent such situation in my life. Of course my only consolation is the way I could pour down my heart through some of my poems which either I will write on that occasion or recall some of the old ones.
The spirit of this song cannot be understood in English translation.
14-7-14
BT Song 70
70. மீண்டும் தொடு
கேளாயோ இன்று
கதறலை இங்கு
கதறிடும் ஏழையின்
குரலை
பாவியே நானும்
பக்தியே காணோம்
பரிதபித்தே வந்தேன்
நானும்
உன்சித்தம் செய்ய
உடன்பட்டேன் இல்லை
அதனாலே குருடானேன்
வாழ்வில்
காணாதோர் காண
காண்போர்கள் வீழ
வந்தாயே புவிக்கு
நீயும்.
காணாதவன் என்றே
கதறியே வந்தால்
கண்திறப்பாய் நீயும்
இன்று.
காண்கின்றேன் என்றே
பெருமிதம் கொண்டால்
குருடனாய் நிற்பேனே
என்றும்.
நீதொட்ட குருடனாய்
நான்மாற இங்கு
நம்பியே வந்தேன்
அருளை.
வேறொன்றும் வேண்டேன்
வீணே இப்புவியில்
ஒருமுறை தொடுஎன்னை
மீண்டும்.
04-11-1994.
70 Touch me again
Won’t you listen
The wail today
The voice
Of this poor One?
I am a sinner
I don’t have bhakti
I came
with much penitence
I didn’t consent
To do your will
Therefore I become blind
In life
You came to the world
For those
Who cannot see
And who claims have seen
You will open my eyes If I cannot see
If I brag that I can see
Then I will remain blind
Forever
I came believing
Your grace
To become that blind man
Whom you touched
I don’t want any other thing
Unnecessarily on this earth
Touch me one more time
Again.
04-11-1994.
I like this story in Uttara Veda, John. Chapter Nine, particularly verse 39, ‘the blind will see and those who see will become blind’. This is a remarkable eye opener for me. Recently one young man came to see me with Chakravarthy (11-7-14). In my talk with him I said, ‘when we think, talk or share, immediately we refer some scripture or some quote from famous person. But to many questions in life others experience and answers, though guide us cannot be the solution to our problem. And taking that guidance we need to find out our own answer that best suits to our need. Several times I see that too much of our reading, blinds us to see the truth as it stops us to question further. Those who are struck with dogmatism may think that they see but they are not. This does not mean I am promoting postmodern relativism, where each individual is her own law and she can decide anything in her life based on her experience. Human as social being need to accommodate others needs and views, which relativism may not agree. But dogmatism on the other end says, ‘I have seen therefore I know it’. And thankfully, for me our Lord is such a guru and acharya who warns me that I have seen or I have attained. My bhakti in the Lord giving a firm ground encourages me to wait for the Lord to show more which I didn’t see so far. All my reading and understanding of Mukti Veda makes me to further ask and wait for the Lord to show His greatness, mercy and grace.
15-7-14
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