BT Song 1266
There is a famous saying that God not only forgives our sins but puts up a sign saying, “No More Fishing.” However, my heart refuses to forget many unnecessary things that have happened in every area of my life. In particular, I want to forget certain events where my relationships with others have changed for various reasons. During those times, I always thought that forgetting is indeed one of the blessings that God grants us, and those who receive it are truly blessed. But some people like me, who have strong memories, have to struggle constantly, and only the Lord has the solution for this.
BT Song 1266: Forgetting the Great Boon
Simple English Version:
In my thoughts, I got lost,
My heart’s burden made me stray,
I even lost you too,
And drifted far away.
But you showed mercy on me,
Sitting by my side,
You hugged me tight,
And comforted my pride.
Though there are many things,
That I should forget,
Even though my heart knows,
It’s hard to do just yet.
If my will rejects,
The words I say,
It brings back memories,
Of what I forgot yesterday.
There’s no medicine greater,
Than the act of forgetting,
Remembering forgotten things,
Is really not worth regretting.
Though it stays buried,
Deep in my heart,
Even if it sleeps,
It wakes up with a start.
I have no treatment,
For this kind of pain,
My heart doesn’t stay,
Under my control again.
Unless you come to me,
And fill my thoughts anew,
If you don’t change my heart,
There’s no hope, it’s true.
Mathigiri, 28-06-2021, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1266: Forgetting the Great Boon
Classical English Version:
In my own thoughts, I was lost,
By the burden of my heart,
I lost even thee,
And from thee did depart.
But thou didst take pity,
Sat close by my side,
Embraced me with love,
And my sorrow didst chide.
Though there be countless things,
That I should forget,
Even though my heart knows,
It’s hard to leave them yet.
If my will refuses,
To heed what I say,
It remembers all,
That I forgot yesterday.
There is no greater medicine,
Than forgetting’s sweet relief,
There is no use in remembering,
What only brings grief.
Though it lies buried deep,
Within my heart’s core,
Even if it sleeps,
It awakens once more.
I possess no cure,
For this kind of pain,
My heart never stays,
Under my control again.
Unless thou comest to me,
And fillest my mind anew,
If thou dost not change my heart,
There’s no hope, ’tis true.
Mathigiri, 28-06-2021, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1267
I feel there is nothing new in my songs. I keep repeating the same themes over and over. Yet, I am not satisfied and always want to write new songs, even though they all remain rhetorical. One reason could be that God never tires of listening to them. He even accepts my rebukes and scoldings merely as praise, much like a mother laughs off the beatings of her child. But I always long for that state where I will abide in His presence, beyond words, with my heart filled with His love.
BT Song 1267: My Heart Will Overflow
Simple English Version
However I sing,
My heart won’t be satisfied.
I can’t say your sweet name
In many words.
Like a mad person,
Filled with devotion,
No matter how much I write,
It’s never enough for me.
Though I complain,
And lament to you often,
If I sing your praises once,
My heart feels fulfilled.
You accept both,
Scolding and praise the same,
When I sing about you,
I feel joy in my heart.
Like a mother,
Who accepts with a smile,
The beatings from her baby,
So do you.
Accepting my scolding,
As praises,
This too has,
Become your nature.
How can I describe,
The right you gave me,
To come to you,
At any time?
How can I,
Sing your praises,
Learning from others,
To express my feelings?
It is enough for me,
To come and stand before you,
Without words,
Unable to express my feelings.
My heart will overflow,
With your love,
That finds no fulfillment,
In anything else.
Mathigiri, 29-06-2021, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1267: My Heart Will Overflow
1
Though I sing with fervor,
My heart remains unsatisfied.
In many words, I cannot
Utter thy sweet name with pride.
2
Like one possessed by longing,
Filled with deep devotion’s fire,
No matter how much I inscribe,
It never quenches my desire.
3
Though I oft complain and grieve,
Lamenting unto thee in plight,
When I sing of thy great love,
My heart finds solace and delight.
4
Thou dost accept both scorn and praise,
Receiving them with equal grace,
When I sing thy glorious name,
Joy fills my heart’s sacred space.
5
As a mother doth embrace,
With tender smile through every blow,
So dost thou, in thy great love,
Accept my heart’s ebb and flow.
6
Embracing my rebuke as praise,
This, too, hath become thy way,
A testament to love divine,
In every moment of the day.
7
How can I describe the right
To draw near unto thy face,
To come before thee freely,
At any hour or place?
8
How can I sing thy praises
Learning from others’ holy art,
To voice my deepest feelings,
And share the wonders of my heart?
9
It suffices for my spirit
To stand before thee in silence,
With naught but my trembling heart,
Unable to express its essence.
10
My heart shall overflow with love,
That finds no rest in worldly gain,
For in thy presence, I discover
A joy that knows no bound or chain.
Mathigiri, 29-06-2021, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1268
I was sitting leisurely, enjoying some classical Hindustani music, but my mind began to think more about the Lord. Then I started to share some of my thoughts with Him. I try to communicate certain things with Him, but knowing well that He already knows about them, I hesitate to share. At the same time, when I do share with Him, I find a kind of release in my mind, especially when I write it down as a poem. As the thoughts continued to flow, I wrote this song while listening to classical music. Well, two blissful experiences at the same time. In bhakti, it is possible.
BT Song 1268 I have the right
Simple English
1
I have the right with you,
So I come before you,
I’ve decided to say
What I feel in my heart.
2
But I hesitate,
To share with you,
Even before I speak,
You already know.
3
Yet I cannot stay silent,
Without sharing with you,
Did you not know
The reason for this?
4
Though my heart has thoughts,
A thousand different things,
If I share with you,
My burden will lift.
5
If I write it down,
One day it might
Help me in some way,
To express my heart.
6
If someone by chance reads it,
Then they will see
And understand my
Situation clearly.
7
Then they can intercede
For me with you,
Coming into your
Holy presence.
8
Moreover, they will rejoice
Knowing the bond
Of our relationship,
The love that we share.
9
Then we will find
An opportunity
To sing your praises,
And celebrate together.
Mathigiri, 03—7-2021, 3.30 pm.
BT Song 1268 I have the right
Classical English
1
As I possess the right with thee,
Before thy presence, I now stand,
I have resolved to share
The depths of my heart’s desire.
2
Yet, I do hesitate
To speak the truth,
For ere I utter,
Thou art already aware.
3
Still, I cannot be silent,
Without confiding in thee,
Didst thou not know
The cause of this yearning?
4
Though my heart conceives
A myriad of thoughts,
If I share with thee,
My burdens shall be eased.
5
If I take to writing,
One day it may
Aid me in my quest
To lay bare my soul.
6
Should someone by mischance read,
They would come to know
And grasp the weight
Of my present plight.
7
Then they may intercede
On my behalf,
Approaching thy throne
With earnest prayer.
8
Additionally, they shall rejoice
In the bond we share,
Understanding the love
That unites our hearts.
9
Thus we shall gain
An occasion to sing
Thy praises high,
In joyous celebration.
Mathigiri, 03—7-2021, 3.30 pm.
BT Song 1269
Though I am not qualified in any way to receive mukti or to do bhakti to the Lord, it is my responsibility to maintain the quality He bestowed upon me to continue enjoying my relationship with Him. The way I wrote in Tamil is very difficult to translate with strict English grammar, so I have merely conveyed the meaning of each stanza within my limitations in English.
BT Song 1269 Qualification
Simple English
1
I kept my distance
As I felt unworthy to be near you.
Then I approached you
With much hesitation.
2
You embraced me
And welcomed me.
You shared your love
With such warmth.
3
Then you
Taught me
And showed me the way
To gain my worthiness.
4
Until the end,
To hold that bond,
And learn
How to keep it strong.
5
Understanding that
Nothing can
Break this
Precious bond.
6
It is my
Duty to
Protect this
Gifted relationship.
7
There is no other
Worthiness
Than
To give myself fully.
8
Knowing all this,
And having true love,
Is the only
Qualification for living.
9
Once I
Understood this truth,
My hesitation faded,
And my worthiness came naturally.
Mathigiri, 04-07-2021, 11.15 p.m.
BT Song 1269 Qualification
Classical English
1
I kept a distance
For I deemed myself unfit
To draw near unto thee,
Yet approached thee with great hesitation.
2
Thou didst receive me
And embraced me tenderly,
Sharing in sweet fellowship
With abundant fondness.
3
Then thou
Didst instruct me
And reveal the path
To attain my qualification.
4
Until the end,
To cherish that bond
And comprehend
How to sustain it well.
5
Understanding that
Naught can
Sever this
Sacred relationship.
6
It is mine
Obligation to
Guard this
Blessed connection.
7
There exists no
Other qualification
Than
To surrender myself entirely.
8
Grasping all this
And possessing devotion
Is the sole
Qualification for life.
9
Once I
Came to understand,
My hesitation vanished,
And qualification arose of its own accord.
BT Song 1270
I have written a few songs about the vanity of asking questions about certain issues in life. I don’t know about others’ experiences, but in my life, I never received answers to most of my questions. After some frustration, I continued my life asking the same questions, knowing well that I wouldn’t get an answer. The same is true with the Lord. In most cases, He never gave answers. I then considered it His prerogative not to answer my questions and continued my bhakti in Him. However, the spirit of humor in my life always helps me cope with these kinds of situations. This song reflects that reality in my life.
Mathigiri, 04-07-2021, 11.15 p.m.
BT Song 1270 I know that it is good for me
Simple English
1
Asking again and again,
So many questions arise.
Giving answers to them,
After careful thought,
This process never ends,
And I don’t know when
It will cease in my life,
I wish for some peace.
2
I know very well
That it’s best not to ask.
I even told my heart
Not to seek for answers,
But then it
Asked “Why?”
And urged me to
Provide answers to its queries.
3
I tried to stay calm,
Knowing there’s no point
In urging my heart
To quiet down.
Yet, with a gentle smile,
My heart revealed
That I lack
The proper wisdom.
4
Realizing this truth,
Wondering what to do,
I came to you,
Hoping you might
Have some answers
To ease my mind
And guide my heart,
To help me find clarity.
5
“What kind of
Answer do you seek?
Why must you
Even desire one?
When and how
Shall I provide
What you’re asking for?”
You began to question me.
6
Unable to give
Any sort of answer,
Not even knowing
What my question is,
I stood before you,
Silent and unsure.
Seeing my state,
You began to laugh.
7
As my heart laughed,
You joined in the joy,
Together with my wisdom,
I started to smile.
Then I realized
That avoiding both
Questions and answers
Is truly good for me.
Mathigiri, 09-07-2021, 11.30 pm.
BT Song 1270 I know that it is good for me
Classical English
1
Asking again and again,
A multitude of questions arise.
Providing answers with thought,
Yet no end to this quest appears,
I know not when
This cycle shall conclude
Within my life,
I long for tranquility.
2
I am well aware
That it is better not to inquire.
To my heart, I did proclaim,
“Do not seek for answers,”
Yet it replied
With a gentle “Why?”
Compelling me to
Respond to its earnest pleas.
3
I strove to remain calm,
Knowing well the futility
Of imploring my heart
To silence its calls.
But with a tender smile,
My heart disclosed
That I possess not
The rightful discernment.
4
Realizing this truth,
Contemplating my next step,
I approached thee,
In hopes that thou might
Hold some answers
To soothe my spirit
And guide my heart,
Bestowing clarity upon me.
5
“What manner of
Answer dost thou seek?
Why must thou
Even desire such?
When and how
Shall I bestow
What thou inquirest?”
Thus didst thou begin to question.
6
Unable to render
Any form of response,
Not even aware
Of what my question be,
I stood before thee,
Silent in confusion.
Seeing my plight,
Thou too didst begin to laugh.
7
As my heart rejoiced,
Thou joined in merriment,
With my discernment,
I too began to smile.
Then I came to realize
That avoiding both
Questions and answers
Is indeed good for me.
Mathigiri, 09-07-2021, 11.30 pm.
BT Song 1266 மறதி என்னும் மருந்து
எண்ணத்தின் எண்ணத்தில்
என்னையே தொலைத்தேன்
இதயத்தின் பாரத்தால்
உன்னையும் துறந்தேன்
ஆயினும் என்மீது
இரக்கம் கொண்டாய்
அருகினில் அமர்ந்து
அணைத்து கொண்டாய்
மறந்திட ஆயிரம்
நினைவுகள் இருந்தும்
மனதிற்கு அதுவும்
தெரிந்து இருந்தும்
என்சொல்லை ஏற்றும்
அதுவும் மறுக்கும்
மறந்ததை மீண்டும்
நினைக்க வைக்கும்
மறதிபோல் ஒரு
மாமருந்து இல்லை
மறந்ததை நினைப்பதில்
பயனுமே இல்லை
ஆயினும் மனதின்
ஆழத்தில் கிடந்து
உறங்கிய போதும்
மீண்டும விழிக்கும்
இதற்கான மருந்து
என்னிடம் இல்லை
என்மனம் என்வசம்
இருப்பதும் இல்லை
நீயாக வந்து
நினைவெல்லாம் நிறைந்து
எண்ணத்தை மாற்றாமல்
விடிவிதற் கில்லை
மத்திகிரி, 28-06-2021, இரவு, 11.00
BT Song 1267 மனம் நிறையும்
எப்படிப் பாடினினும்
என்மனம் நிறையாது
இனிய உன் நாமத்தை
சொல்லி முடியாது
பித்தனைப் போலவே
பக்தியும் தலைக்கேற
எத்தனை எழுதினும்
எனக்கது போதாது
பலமுறை உன்னிடம்
குறைசொல்லி புலம்பினும்
ஒருமுறை உனைப் பாட
உள்ளமோ நிறைந்திடும்
வையினும் வாழ்த்தினும்
ஒருபோல எண்ணிடும்
உன்னையே பாடிட
உள்ளமும் இனித்திடும்
விளையாடும் சிறுபிள்ளை
பலமுறை அடித்தாலும்
சிரிப்புடன் ஏற்றிடும்
தாய்போல உன்மனம்
பலமுறை உன்னையே
நானும் வையினும்
அதனையும் துதியாக
ஏற்பதே உன்குணம்
என்நேரம் உன்னிடம்
வந்திடும் உரிமையை
எனக்குநீ தந்ததை
எவ்விதம் சொல்வேன்
உள்ளத்து உணர்வினை
சொல்லிடும் வார்த்தையை
எவரிடம் கற்றுநான்
உன்புகழ் பாடுவேன்
சொல்லின்றி மொழியின்றி
சொல்லவும் வழியின்றி
சன்னதி வந்துநான்
நின்றாலே போதும்
எதிலுமே நிறையாத
என்மனம் அப்போது
உனதன்பு பெருக்கிலே
முழுவதும் நிறைந்திடும்
மத்திகிரி, 29-06-2021, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1268 உரிமை உள்ளது
உரிமை உள்ளதால்
உன்முன்னே வந்தேன்
உள்ளத்தைச் சொல்ல
எண்ணம் கொண்டேன்
சொல்லிடும் முன்னமே
உனக்கு தெரியும்
என்பதை உணர்ந்து
தயக்கம் கொண்டேன்
ஆயினும் சொல்லாமல்
இருக்கவும் முடியாது
அதற்கான காரணம்
உனக்கு தெரியாது
என்னதான் என்னுளம்
ஆயிரம் எண்ணினும்
உன்னிடம் கூறினால்
மனபாரம் குறையும்
அத்துடன் அதனையும்
எழுதியும் வைத்தால்
மீண்டும் ஒருநாள்
எனக்கது உதவும்
எவரேனும் அதனையும்
தவறியும் படித்தால்
என்னிலை அவர்க்கும்
சற்றேனும் புரியும்
அவரும் எனக்காக
உன்னிடம் வந்து
பரிந்து எனக்காகப்
பேசிடக் கூடும்
அத்தோடு நம்மிடை
உள்ள உறவினை
அவரும் அறிந்து
மகிழ்ந்திடக் கூடும்
அதன்பின் நாங்கள்
அனைவரும் கூடி
உன்புகழ் பாட
வாய்ப்பு ஏற்படும்
மத்திகிரி, 03-07-2021, மதியம் 3.30
BT Song 1269 தகுதி
தகுதி இன்றி
தள்ளியே நின்றேன்
தயங்கித் தயங்கி
உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
அள்ளி அணைத்து
ஏற்றுக் கொண்டாய்
அன்புடன் என்னிடம்
உறவு கொண்டாய்
அதன்பின் எனக்குச்
சொல்லித் தந்தாய்
தகுதி பெறும்வழி
காட்டித் தந்தாய்
இறுதி வரையில்
கொண்ட உறவில்
நிலைத்து நிற்கும்
வழியை அறிந்து
எதுவும் அதனைப்
பிரிக்க முடியாது
என்ற உண்மை
தன்னை உணர்ந்து
ஏற்றுக் கொண்டு
தந்த உறவை
காப்பது உந்தன்
பொறுப்பு என்று
முற்றும் என்னை
அளிப்பதன்றி
தகுதி வேறு
இல்லை என்று
புரிந்து கொண்டு
பக்தி கொண்டு
வாழ்வ தொன்றே
தகுதி என்று
புரிந்த பின்பு
தயக்கம் போச்சு
தகுதி தன்போல்
வந்தும் ஆச்சு
மத்திகிரி, 04-07-2021, இரவு, 11.15
BT Song 1270 நலமெனப் புரிந்தேன்
அடுக்கடுக்காய்ப் பல
கேள்விகள் கேட்டும்
அதற்கான பதில்கள்
ஆராய்ந்து கொடுத்தும்
இதற்கொரு முடிவு
இன்னும் வரவில்லை
எப்போ வருமென
எனக்கும் தெரியலை
கேட்காமல் இருப்பது
நலமென அறிவேன்
கேட்காதே என்றும்
மனதிடம் சொன்னேன்
ஏனென கேள்வி
அதுவும் கேட்டது
இதற்கு பதில்தா
என்று சொன்னது
மனத்திடம் கூறி
பயனில்லை என்று
மவுனமாய் நானும்
இருந்திட முயன்றேன்
மவுனமாய் மனதும்
மெள்ளவே நகைத்து
மதி உனக் கில்லை
என்றே சொன்னது
அதிலுள்ள உண்மை
புரிந்த பின்னாலே
அடுத்து என்செய்ய
என்று எண்ணி
எதற்கும் பதிலொன்று
உன்னிடம் இருக்கும்
என்பதை உணர்ந்து
உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
எவ்வித பதிலும்
உனக்கு வேண்டும்
எதற்காய் அதுவும்
உனக்கு வேண்டும்
எப்போ எப்படி
நான்தர வேண்டும்
என்றே நீ பல
கேள்விகள் கேட்க
எவ்வித பதிலும்
தர முடியாமல்
கேள்வி எதுவென
நான் புரியாமல்
மீண்டும் மவுனமாய்
உன்முன் நின்றேன்
என்நிலை கண்டு
நீயும் நகைத்தாய்
மனதும் நகைக்க
நீயும் நகைக்க
மதியுடன் சேர்ந்து
நானும் நகைத்தேன்
கேள்வி பதில்
இரண்டையும் தவிர்த்து
வாழ்வது ஒன்றே
நலமெனப் புரிந்தேன்
மத்திகிரி, 09-07-2021, இரவு, 11.30
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