BT Song 1441 to 1445

 BT Song 1441

Though I trust God in everything, I often wonder why She kept this ‘chanchal’ nature within me. Anyhow, as the Love of God upholds us in everything, I need not worry too much about my nature.

BT Song 1441: Why Chanchal

Simple English Version

When I think about

Your love for me

I fold my hands

And cry a lot.

Though I can’t

Repay it,

My trust in you

Will always grow.

My heart will

Long for you to live in me,

Not wanting

My own life.

Even if I stumble

Due to frustration,

My heart will again

Only seek you.

My heart will rejoice

Thinking about your nature,

Which always fits

With mine.

And my heart

Will long to have

This kind of life

Every day.

At the same time,

It will accept that

You are not

The reason for that.

However, my heart

Will question you,

Saying you tricked me

By not giving a stable mind.

It will be frustrated,

Often thinking that,

While you are in my heart,

How can frustration come?

And it will seek

The reason for

You keeping it

As a tool for punishment.

However, whatever

It might be,

Thinking about your love

And only seeking you,

Trusting only your

Unchanging nature,

It will always bow at your feet

As ever before.

Gurukulam, 19-10-2022, 9:30 p.m.

BT Song 1441: Why Chanchal

 Classical English Version

When I ponder upon

Thy love for me,

I shall fold my hands

And shed many tears.

Though I cannot

Repay it in kind,

My faith in thee

Shall ever increase.

My heart shall yearn

For thee to dwell within,

Desiring not

Mine own life.

Though I may stumble

In frustration’s grip,

My heart shall yet again

Seek thee alone.

My heart shall rejoice

Pondering thy nature,

Which ever aligns

With mine own.

And my heart

Shall long to possess

This singular life

Each passing day.

Simultaneously,

It shall acknowledge

That thou art not

The cause of such.

Yet my heart

Shall question thee,

Claiming thou hast deceived

By denying a steadfast mind.

It shall grow frustrated,

Oft reflecting that,

Whilst thou art within,

How can frustration arise?

And it shall seek

The reason why

Thou keepest it

As an instrument of punishment.

Yet, regardless of

What it may be,

Reflecting upon thy love

And seeking thee alone,

Trusting solely in

Thy constant nature,

It shall ever bow at thy feet

As it hath always done.

Gurukulam, 19-10-2022, 9:30 p.m.

 BT Song 1442

These were the challenging days in my life as I had to take care of my mother, who became almost bedridden. Though our ashram helper assists during the day, most nights I have to remain awake to help my mother get up from bed to pass urine. She refused to use a diaper and often got up. Though she never called me, when I heard her slight movements, I immediately got up and helped her. We both became tired physically and mentally. Due to the lack of proper sleep, I could not concentrate on anything other than taking care of my mother. Unable to make a final decision about shifting outside the ashram and not wanting to go anywhere else, I struggled a lot. As I lost my peace of mind, I wrote this song as my prayer of the day.

BT Song 1442: Where is the Peace

 Simple English Version

Did you choose me

Just to be troubled in life?

Did you call me

To live continuously in it?

Did you forget what you said:

‘The world won’t give the peace

That I give’?

Though you said

Your burden is easy,

It is still a cross;

Remember that well.

Did you promise to give

Only this when we

Follow you

By giving up everything?

Though you granted

The liberation I sought,

Where is the peace

That you promised to give?

What is the use of

Giving a liberation

That does not know

Peace of mind?

Will it be liberation

That I receive after death?

Will there be any liberation

That does not know peace?

You alone should

Remove the contradiction between the two,

And you should bestow

Both of them together.

Don’t say that

As long as I live

In this world full of trials,

There is no hope for that.

When it comes to me,

Did you forget what you said,

That you have

Overcome the world?

Give me the hope to win,

Give me strength in my heart,

Give me your peace

Amidst all these trials.

Gurukulam, 19-10-2022, 10.30 p.m.

BT Song 1442: Where is the Peace

 Classical English Version

Didst thou select me

Only to endure troubles in life?

Didst thou summon me

To dwell continuously therein?

Hast thou forgotten what thou spake:

‘The peace I give

The world cannot provide’?

Though thou saidst

Thy burden is light,

It remains a cross;

Remember that well.

Didst thou promise to bestow

Only this when we

Follow thee,

Abandoning all?

Though thou granted

The sought-for mukti,

Where is the peace

That thou didst promise?

What use is it

To grant a mukti

That knows not

The peace of mind?

Shall it be a mukti

Received after death?

Is there any mukti

That knows not peace?

Thou alone must

Resolve the contradiction,

And bestow both

Together as one.

Say not that

While I live

In this world of trials,

There is no hope.

When it pertains to me,

Hast thou forgotten

Thy words:

‘I have overcome the world’?

Bestow the hope to triumph,

Strengthen my heart,

Grant me thy peace

Amidst these trials.

Gurukulam, 19-10-2022, 10.30 p.m.

BT Song 1443

When we face trials, the question that often comes to mind is: how long will it take? But a bhakta knows well that as her bhagavan is there to take care of her, even with such uncertainties, she will easily overcome them.

BT Song 1443: My Hope

 Simple English Version

You alone

Should decide

How this day

Will go.

When life is normal

For others,

It always remains

Different for me.

When I question

About it to you,

No answer is

Coming from you.

I am frustrated

Thinking about

What will

Happen next.

What is there

To say more

Once you made this

Normal in my life?

‘Long life with

Trials every day,’

This proverb

Has become true for me.

By creating such a life,

Your act

Always remains

A riddle for me.

We know for sure

That we don’t know

What will happen

Tomorrow in life.

Once we know for sure,

Then today’s life

Won’t remain

Peaceful for us.

But the reality is that

My life will go

Only like this

Forever.

There is no use

In asking you about it,

As you have

Arranged my life this way.

Therefore, however

This kind of life will go,

I need not

Worry too much about it.

My only hope is that

The gardener who

Planted the tree

Will water it for sure.

Gurukulam, 22-10-2022, 10.30 p.m.

BT Song 1443: My Hope

 Classical English Version

Thou alone

Shouldst decide

How this day

Shall go.

When life is normal

For others,

It ever remains

Different for me.

When I question

About it to thee,

No answer

Comes forth from thee.

I am vexed,

Pondering on

What shall

Happen next.

What more is there

To say

Once thou hast made this

Normal in my life?

‘Long life with

Trials every day,’

This proverb

Has proven true for me.

By crafting such a life,

Thy act

Ever remains

A riddle to me.

We know for certain

That we know not

What shall happen

On the morrow.

Once we know for certain,

Then today’s life

Shall not remain

Peaceful for us.

But the truth is that

My life shall go

Only thus

Forevermore.

There is no use

In querying thee about it,

As thou hast

Ordained my life thus.

Therefore, however

This life shall go,

I need not

Be overly troubled.

My sole hope is that

The gardener who

Planted the tree

Shall water it for sure.

Gurukulam, 22-10-2022, 10.30 p.m.

 BT Song 1444

We don’t have a permanent abode on earth. What is waiting for us on the Furthershore is a hopeful promise. So, not worrying too much about the uncertain future of earthly life—where to go and where to live, particularly in old age—putting our Trust in God is the only hope for us to carry on with this life.

BT Song 1444: I Will Complete the Race

 Simple English Version

I understood a relationship

That has no form.

I received a grace

That my senses cannot grasp.

I know for sure

That you will guide me

In this earthly life,

Which lacks a clear path.

Standing still,

Not knowing what to do next,

When I walk on earth,

Led by my mind.

I found the means

To reach the goal

In this uncertain life

By walking your path.

Though you remain

Invisible to me,

I realized that

You are leading me.

I will continue

This journey,

Not letting go of your hand

That holds mine.

I don’t know

The nature of my path.

I don’t even know for sure

About my destiny.

But I give up

The worry about it,

As you are

Coming along with me.

Once I reach you

After completing

This earthly life

By living somewhere,

I will receive

The eternal life,

Living with you

Permanently.

Till that time,

Rejoicing in your relationship,

Only thinking about your grace

In everyday life.

Whatever may be

The destiny of this life on earth,

I will complete my race,

Joining with you.

Gurukulam, 24-10-2022, 11.00 p.m.

BT Song 1444: I Will Complete the Race

 Classical English Version

I understood a bond

That hath no form.

I received a grace

My senses cannot fathom.

I know for certain

That thou wilt guide me

In this earthly life,

Which lacks a clear path.

Standing still,

Knowing not what to do next,

When I walk on earth,

Led by my mind.

I found the means

To reach the goal

In this uncertain life

By walking thy path.

Though thou remain

Invisible to me,

I realized that

Thou art leading me.

I shall continue

This journey,

Not letting go of thy hand

That holds mine.

I know not

The nature of my path.

I know not for sure

About my destiny.

But I relinquish

The worry about it,

As thou art

Coming along with me.

Once I reach thee

After completing

This earthly life

By living somewhere,

I shall receive

The eternal life,

Living with thee

Permanently.

Till that time,

Rejoicing in thy bond,

Thinking only of thy grace

In every day.

Whate’er may be

The destiny of this life on earth,

I shall complete my race,

Joining with thee.

Gurukulam, 24-10-2022, 11.00 p.m.

 BT Song 1445

Unable to see the suffering of my mother last night, I sobbed with tears and begged the Lord not to play this game anymore and bring an end to both of us. As I got up at 2:30 am, unable to sleep further, I continued to wrestle with the Lord and wrote this poem. In any tussle with God, there is no loss for a bhakta, as all her defeats ultimately become victory both for God and the bhakta.

BT Song 1445: Can You Compete with Me

Simple English

Can you

Compete with me?

Can you torture me

Like this?

I cried and begged,

But you didn’t listen.

You refused to

See my situation.

Of course, others

Cannot understand my situation,

But can’t you also

Understand this?

If you’ve decided

To play a game,

How am I going

To escape from it?

But there’s no

Level playing field.

More than that,

We don’t have the same strength.

Therefore, it’s not fair

To expect me

To play

Along with you.

Everyone knows for sure

That you alone will win.

Who will

Accept such a result?

Once the result is

Clearly visible,

Who will

Watch our game?

This is not

The time to play.

There’s no one

To watch this game.

There’s no one

To mediate,

To end this fight

Between us.

Though you will

Get the victory,

There’s no

Profit for you in it.

Once my defeat

Becomes my success,

There’s no loss for me

To be defeated by you.

Even after this,

Can you compete with me?

And can you calculate

The loss or gain?

As we both are

Going to win in the end,

Can you continue

To play this game?

1-11-2022, 3:30 a.m.

BT Song 1445: Canst Thou Compete with Me

Classical English

Canst thou

Compete with me?

Canst thou torment me

In this manner?

I cried and begged,

But thou didst not listen.

Thou refused to

See my plight.

Others, indeed,

Cannot understand my plight,

But canst thou also

Fail to understand this?

If thou hast chosen

To play a game,

How am I going

To escape it?

Yet, there is no

Level playing field.

Moreover, we lack

Equal strength.

Therefore, it is unjust

To expect me

To play

With thee.

Everyone knows for sure

That thou alone shalt win.

Who will

Accept such an outcome?

Once the result is

Clearly known,

Who will

Watch our game?

This is not

The time to play.

There is none

To witness this game.

There is none

To mediate,

To end this quarrel

‘Twixt us.

Though thou shalt

Gain victory,

There is no

Profit for thee in it.

When my defeat

Turns to my success,

There is no loss for me

In being vanquished by thee.

Even after this,

Canst thou compete with me?

And canst thou reckon

The loss or gain?

As we both shall

Triumph in the end,

Canst thou continue

To play this game?

1-11-2022, 3:30 a.m.

BT Song 1441: சஞ்சலம் ஏன்

என்மீது நீ கொண்ட 

பாசத்தை எண்ண 

விழியோரம் நீர் சேர 

இருகரம் குவியும்  1 

கைமாறு செய்ய 

இயலாத போதும் 

உன்மீது வைத்த 

நம்பிக்கைப் பெருகும்  2 

எனக்கெனத் தனிவாழ்வை 

நானுமே எண்ணாமல் 

என்னிலே நீ வாழ 

என்னுள்ளம் விழையும்  3 

சில நேரம் தடுமாறி 

சஞ்சலம் கொண்டாலும் 

திரும்பவும் என்மனம் 

உன்னையேத் தேடும்  4 

என்குணம் அறிந்து 

அதற்கேற்ப நடக்கும் 

உன்குணம் எண்ணி 

உள்ளமும் மகிழும்  5 

இதுபோல அனுதினம் 

வாழ்வும் இருக்காதா 

என்றே என்மனம் 

ஏங்கியேத் தவிக்கும்  6 

அதற்குத் தடையாக 

இருபது நீயல்ல 

என்பதை மட்டும் 

என்மனம் ஏற்கும்  7 

சஞ்சலம் கொள்ளாத 

மனமதைத் தாராமல் 

வஞ்சனை செய்தாயே 

என்றுமே கேட்கும்  8 

சிந்தையில் நீ நிற்க 

சஞ்சலம் அடிக்கடி 

வருவதின் காரணம் 

தெரியாது தவிக்கும்  9 

கூடவே இருந்து 

கொட்டும் தூதனாய் 

வைத்ததின் காரணம் 

தன்னையும் தேடும்  10 

எதுவான போதும் 

என்மீது நீ வைத்த 

பாசத்தை எண்ணி 

உன்னையே நாடி  11 

மாறாத உன் குணம் 

தன்னை நம்பி 

எப்போதும் போல 

திருவடிப் பணியும்  12 

குருகுலம், 19-10-2022, இரவு, 9.30

BT Song 1442: எங்கே நிம்மதி

துன்பமே படவென்று 

தெரிந்து எடுத்தாயா 

தொடர்ந்து அதில் வாழ 

என்னையும் அழைத்தாயோ  1 

‘நான்தரும் நிம்மதி 

உலகம் தாராது’ 

என்று சொன்னதை 

மட்டும் மறந்தாயோ  2 

‘என் நுகம் எளிது’ 

என்று சொன்னாலும் 

சுமப்பது சிலுவைதான் 

என்பதை மறவாதே  3 

அனைத்தையும் விட்டு 

வந்திடும் போது 

நுறாக இதைத்தான் 

தருவேன் என்றாயோ  4 

தேடிய முக்தியை 

நீயுமேத் தந்தாலும் 

தருவதாய்ச் சொன்ன 

அமைதியும் எங்கே  5 

அமைதி அறியாத 

முக்தியைத் தந்தாலே 

அதனால் பயனென்ன 

நீயதைச் சொல்வாயே  6 

இறந்தபின் பெறுவது 

முக்தி ஆகுமா 

அமைதி அறியாத 

முக்தியும் இருக்குமா  7 

இதிலுள்ள முரண்டாட்டை 

நீயும் போக்கணும் 

இரண்டையும் ஒருசேர 

நீதான் தரவேண்டும்  8 

பாடுள்ள உலகில் 

வாழ்ந்திடும் வரையில் 

அதற்கு வழியில்லை 

என்று சொல்லாதே  9 

‘வென்றேன் உலகை’ 

என்று சொன்னதை 

என்வரை மட்டும் 

நீயும் மறந்தாயே  10 

வென்றிட வழி தந்து 

மனதிலே திடம் தந்து 

பாடுகள் மத்தியில் 

நிம்மதி தருவாயே  11 

குருகுலம், 19-10-2022, இரவு, 10.30 pm.

BT Song 1443: என் நம்பிக்கை

எப்படிப் போகும் 

இன்றைய இரவும் 

என்பதை நீதான் 

முடிவு செய்யணும்  1 

எல்லோர்க்கும் வாழ்வு 

இயல்பாக இருக்க 

எனக்கு மட்டும் 

தனியாக இருக்கு  2 

அதுபற்றி உன்னிடம் 

நானுமே கேட்டால் 

பதில் வர மட்டும் 

ஏனோ மறுக்குது  3 

அடுத்தது என்ன 

நடக்குமோ என்று 

என்பதை எண்ணி 

மனதும் தவிக்குது  4 

இதையே வாழ்வின் 

இயல்பாய் மாறினால் 

இனிநான் சொல்ல 

என்ன இருக்குது  5 

நித்திய கண்டம் 

பூரண ஆயுள் 

என்கிற முதுமொழி 

என்வரை சரிதான்  6 

அப்படி வாழ்வை 

அமைத்த உனது 

செயலும் என்வரை 

என்றும் புதிர்தான்  7 

நாளை என்ன 

நடக்கும் என்று 

நிச்சயம் எமக்கு 

தெரிவது இல்லை  8 

தெரிந்தால் அதன்பின் 

இறைய வாழ்வு 

நிம்மதியாக என்றும் 

இருப்பதும் இல்லை  9 

இப்படியேதான் இனி 

வாழ்வும் போகும் 

என்பது என்வரை 

நிச்சயம் உண்மை  10 

அப்படி அமைத்து 

தந்ததின் பின்னே 

உன்னிடம் கேட்டும் 

பயனும் இல்லை  11 

ஆகவே வாழ்வு 

எப்படிப் போயினும் 

அதுபற்றி எனக்கு 

கவலையும் இல்லை  12 

மரத்தை வைத்தவன் 

நீரும் ஊற்றுவான் 

என்பது மட்டும் 

எனது நம்பிக்கை  13 

குருகுலம், 22-10-2022, இரவு, 10.30

BT Song 1444: பயணத்தை முடிப்பேன்

உருவம் இல்லாத 

உறவை அறிந்தேன் 

உணர்வும் புரியாத 

அருளை அடைந்தேன்  1 

கதி அறியாத 

உலக வாழ்வில் 

விதியொன்று வகுத்து 

நடத்துவாய் அறிவேன்  2 

மதிவழி சென்று 

வாழ்வில் மருண்டு 

இனிசெய்ய ஒன்று 

அறியாது நின்று  3 

தவிக்கும் மானுட 

வாழ்வில் நானோ 

உன்வழி சென்று 

உய்வைக் கண்டேன்  4 

கண்ணுக்குத் தெரியாது 

நீநின்ற போதும் 

கரம்பற்றி நடத்துறாய் 

என்பதை உணர்ந்து  5 

பற்றிய கரத்தை 

விட்டு விடாமல் 

இறுகப் பற்றி 

பயணம் தொடர்வேன்  6 

போகும் பாதையின் 

தன்மைப் புரியேன் 

சேரும் இடத்தை 

நிச்சயம் அறியேன்  7 

ஆயினும் அதுபற்றி 

கவலையை விட்டேன் 

என்னுடன் நீயும் 

வருவதினாலே  8 

ஏதோர் இடத்தில் 

புவிழவு முடிந்து 

இறுதியில் உன்னிடம் 

வந்த பின்பு  9 

நிரந்தரமான ஒரு 

இடத்தில் வாழ்ந்து 

நிலைத்த வாழ்வை 

உன்னிடம் அடைவேன்  10 

அதுவரை உனது 

உறவினில் மகிழ்ந்து 

அருளை மட்டும் 

அனுதினம் நினைந்து  11 

உலக வாழ்வின் 

கதியெது வாயினும் 

உன்னுடன் இணைந்து 

பயணத்தை முடிப்பேன்  12 

குருகுலம், 24-10-2022, இரவு, 11.00

BT Song 1445: போட்டி போடலாமோ

என்னோடு போட்டி 

நீ போடலாமோ 

இப்படி என்னை 

வதைத்திடலாமோ  1 

கெஞ்சிக் கதறினேன் 

நீ கேட்கவில்லை 

கண்கொண்டு என்னைப் 

பார்த்திட வில்லை  2 

பிறருக்குப் புரியாது 

நானதை அறிவேன் 

உனக்குமாப் புரியாது 

நானென்ன சொல்வேன்  3 

நீயொரு விளையாட்டை 

விளையாட விரும்பினால் 

எப்படி நானும் 

தப்பித்துக் கொள்வேன்  4 

ஆடிடும் களமோ 

சமமாக இல்லை 

அத்துடன் சமபலம் 

நம்மிடை இல்லை  5 

இதிலே என்னையும் 

விளையாடச் சொல்வது 

எந்த விதத்திலும் 

நியாயமே இல்லை  6 

வெல்வது நீதான் 

யாவரும் அறிவார் 

அந்த வெற்றியை 

எவரேற்றுக் கொள்வார்  7 

முடிவு முன்னமே 

தெரிந்த பின்பு 

யாரிந்த விளையாட்டை 

வேடிக்கைப் பார்ப்பார்  8 

விளையாட நேரம் 

இதுவுமே இல்லை 

வேடிக்கைப் பார்க்க 

ஆட்களும் இல்லை  9 

தனியாக நடந்திடும் 

நம்மிந்த சண்டையை 

விலக்கி வைக்க 

யாருமே இல்லை  10 

இறுதியில் வெற்றி 

நீபெற்ற போதும் 

அதிலே உனக்கு 

இலாபமும் இல்லை  11 

தோல்வியே எனது 

வெற்றியாய் மாற 

தோற்பதில் எனக்கு 

நட்டமும் இல்லை  12 

இதன்பின் போட்டி 

நீ போடலாமோ 

இலாப நட்டம் 

பார்த்திடலாமோ  13 

இருவரும் வெற்றி 

பெற்றிடும் போது 

இனியும் விளையாடி 

பார்த்திடலாமோ  14 

1-11-2022, 3.30 am

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