Converted by Chatgpt following by translation in Tamgish edited by Chatgpt and then original in Tamil
BT Song 1001
As I was very busy proofreading “Understanding Hinduism,” there was no time for my regular meditation. Though I meditated a bit during my night walk, the way I sit silently to worship or think resumed only today after four days. So when I began to thank the Lord for giving me the strength and concentration to complete the proofreading quickly within four days, I said to Him, “When I worship and thank You, I find some kind of joy and peace. But when I come to You to complain, I feel sad.” Then, as I began to further meditate on it, I realized that in both situations, I am benefited—as I celebrate my relationship with Him in both. Then, as inspiration came (which I requested Him to stop but He never heeds), I began to write the song. I further meditated and wrote that in thanksgiving or complaint, as I become like a baby, the Lord too should become like a mother to give His grace. When a child is very happy, it will run to the mother babbling something which only the mother understands. Similarly, when the child wants to complain about something, it will run and say something quickly, which again only the mother understands. So as that picture came to my mind, I wrote this poem using the same illustration. I am not sure about others, but at least in India, next to Malayalis, both Tamilians and Bengalis are the ones who talk with such speed that others rarely can catch. If you don’t believe me, listen to our Mamata didi (West Bengal C.M.). But God, like a mother, understands such babbling of a devotee both in joy and sorrow.
BT Song 1001: Blessing in Both
When I celebrate you,
I long to worship you.
When I come to complain,
My heart grows weary too. 1
Whether I celebrate you
Or bring complaints anew,
In both my heart is longing,
Longing just for you. 2
When I celebrate,
My heart is full of glee.
By worshiping you,
It comes to your feet humbly. 3
When I bring complaints,
My heart still longs for you.
It begs you to remove
This nature, make me new. 4
But in both it finds
A blessing clear and true.
It gains the chance to have
Sweet fellowship with you. 5
When I have fellowship,
By worshiping with cheer,
My heart will dance with joy
Like a child so dear. 6
When it comes to complain,
And grows weary with its load,
It seeks your loving lap,
A child who’s seeking home. 7
In both, as my heart
Turns childlike in its plea,
You should become a mother,
And tenderly receive me. 8
When I celebrate
With a heart that’s pure,
In your child’s love,
You should find joy for sure. 9
When I babble on
While making my complaints,
You should encourage me,
With words that calm and paint. 10
In whichever state
I might come to you,
Knowing my heart,
Your grace should shine through. 11
Through that grace, I pray,
In everyday’s light,
Grant me the chance
For fellowship so bright. 12
Mathigiri, 28-10-2018, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1001: Blessing in Both
When I celebrate you,
I desire to worship you.
When I come to complain,
My heart becomes tired. 1
Whether I celebrate you or
I make complaints,
In both my heart is
Longing only for you. 2
When I celebrate,
My heart rejoices.
By worshiping you,
It will come to your feet. 3
When I make complaints,
My heart will long for you.
It will beg you to
Remove this nature. 4
But it will find
A benefit in both.
It will have the opportunity
To have fellowship with you. 5
When I have fellowship with you,
By worshiping you in celebration,
My heart will rejoice
Like a child. 6
When it comes to complain,
Becoming tired,
It will seek your lap
Like a child. 7
In both, as my heart
Becomes like a child,
You should become a mother
To receive me. 8
When I celebrate you
With a whole heart,
In your child’s love,
You should rejoice. 9
When I babble
While complaining,
You should encourage me
By talking openly with me. 10
In whichever condition
I might come,
As you know my heart,
You should show your grace. 11
Through that,
In everyday life,
You should bestow
The opportunity to have fellowship with you 12.
Mathigiri, 28-10-2018, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1001: இரண்டிலும் நன்மை
கொண்டாடி வரும்போது
கும்பிடத் தோணுது
குறை சொல்ல வரும்போது
மனதும் சோருது 1
கொண்டாடி நின்றாலும்
குறை சொல்ல வந்தாலும்
இரண்டிலும் என்னுள்ளம்
உன்னையே நாடுது 2
கொண்டாடும் போதும்
என்னுள்ளம் துள்ளிடும்
கும்பிட்டு உன் பாதம்
வந்து பணிந்திடும் 3
குறை சொல்ல வரும்போது
என்னுள்ளம் ஏங்கும்
இக்குணம் போக்க உன்னிடம்
இறைஞ்சி வேண்டும் 4
ஆயினும் இரண்டிலும்
பயனொன்றைக் கண்டிடும்
உன்னோடு உறவாடும்
பேற்றினை அடைந்திடும் 5
கொண்டாடிக் கும்பிட்டு
உறவாடும் போதிலே
குழந்தையின் மனம்போல
ஆனந்தம் அடைந்திடும் 6
குறை சொல்ல வரும்போது
சோர்வுற்ற மனதுமே
குழந்தையாய் மாறியே
உன் மடி தேடிடும் 7
இரண்டிலும் என்னுள்ளம்
குழந்தையாய் மாறிட
என்னையும் ஏற்கநீ
தாயாக மாறணும் 8
மனதாற உன்னையும்
கொண்டாடும் போதிலே
மைந்தனின் அன்பிலே
உன்னுள்ளம் மகிழணும் 9
மழலையின் பேச்சிலே
குறையுமே சொல்கையில்
மனம்விட்டு நீ பேசிப்
என்னையும் தேற்றணும் 10
எந்த நிலையிலே
நானுமே வந்தாலும்
என்னுள்ளம் அறிந்தநீ
இன்னருள் காட்டணும் 11
அதன்மூலம் உன்னோடு
உறவாடும் பேற்றினை
அனுதின வாழ்விலே
எனக்குமே அருளணும் 12
மத்திகிரி, 28-10-2018, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1002
My recent readings on Orientalism, history, missions, theology, language, etc. raised many questions within me. I am also very much interested in history, and it was my favorite subject both in school and college. Even after completing my studies, I read lots of books on history. Because, according to my understanding, to understand present life and identity, one should know about past events. If we ignore the past or try to forget it, then there is no present identity and future hope. However, various interpretations of history always complicate some basic understanding of history. When I was thinking about it, I realized that as I always insist on living one day at a time, it is important to enjoy life and devotion to the Lord, though we cannot neglect both the past history and future challenges. The result is this song at the end of this meditation.
BT Song 1002: To Live This Day
I lack the wisdom to understand,
I don’t know how to think it through.
Oh my Lord, I have no answers
To the questions, endless and new. 1
When I think I understand,
Many more questions follow fast.
When I seek the answers there,
Understanding leaves me last. 2
To feed my mind’s hunger,
I read so many books.
But troubled, my heart
In thought’s trap gets hooked. 3
To understand today’s life,
The past we must discern.
But if I dwell there long,
Tomorrow’s a question yet to learn. 4
When I live in past and future,
Today’s life fades away.
And when my life is done,
Emptiness will hold sway. 5
To remove that emptiness,
I sought you out.
I sought your grace once more,
To live just for this day. 6
Mathigiri, 30-10-2018, 10:40 p.m.
BT Song 1002: To Live This Day
I don’t have the ability to understand,
I don’t know how to think deeply.
Oh my Lord, I don’t have answers
To the questions which come one after the other. 1
When I think that I understand clearly,
Many questions come after that.
When I seek the answer for each one of them,
After clear understanding, I become confused. 2
In order to feed the hunger of my mind,
Though I read many books,
As my heart gets troubled, unable to digest them,
It will get trapped in thinking problems. 3
In order to understand today’s life,
It is necessary to understand the past.
But if I stay only there,
Tomorrow’s life will become a question. 4
When I begin to live in both the past and future,
Today’s life will disappear.
When I complete my life like this,
There will be only emptiness in the end. 5
In order to remove that emptiness,
I came seeking you.
I sought your grace again,
Only to live for this day. 6
Mathigiri, 30-10-2018 10.40 p.m.
BT Song 1002: இன்றைக்கு வாழ
அறிந்திடும் ஆற்றலோ எனக்கு இல்லை
ஆழமாய் சிந்திக்கத் தெரியவும் இல்லை
அடுக்கடுக்காய் வரும் வினாக்களுக்கு
ஐயனே என்னிடம் விடைகளும் இல்லை 1
தெளிவாக உணர்ந்ததாய் எண்ணிடும் போது
தொடர்ந்தே வந்திடும் கேள்விகள் பலவும்
ஒவ்வொன்றாய் எண்ணி விடைதேடும் போது
தெளிவாய் உணர்ந்தது குழம்பியே போகும் 2
அறிவின் பசிக்குத் தீனி போட
ஆயிரம் நூல்களைப் படித்துப் பார்த்தும்
செரிமானம் ஆகாமல் தவித்த உள்ளம்
சிந்தனைக் கோளாறில் மாட்டிக் கொள்ளும் 3
இன்றைய வாழ்வினை உணர்ந்து கொள்ளச்
சென்றதை அறிவதும் தேவையே ஆகும்
ஆயினும் அங்கேயே தங்கி விட்டால்
நாளைய வாழ்வுமோ கேள்வியாய் ஆகும் 4
சென்றதில் வருவதில் வாழ்ந்திடும் போது
இன்றைய வாழ்வுமோ மறைந்து போகும்
இங்ஙனம் வாழ்ந்து முடிக்கும் போது
என்னுளே வெறுமையே எஞ்சி நிற்கும் 5
அந்த வெறுமையைப் போக்க வேண்டி
அண்டி உன்னிடம் வந்து நின்றேன்
இன்றைய நாளுக்காய் வாழ மட்டும்
உன்னருள் தேடியே மீண்டுமே வந்தேன் 6
மத்திகிரி, 30-10-2018, இரவு, 10.40
BT Song 1003
Communication through words, both verbal and written, has advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that we can give shape to our thoughts. The disadvantage is that our respective languages have limitations in expressing our thoughts. However, both verbal and written communication depend upon the cooperation and coordination of the intellect, which helps us communicate for others to understand. But in meditation, when we interact with God, that experience can only be realized in our soul and heart, going beyond the intellect where the soul has to keep quiet. All our efforts to communicate that experience using any words will be defeated. There, our soul knows only to worship Him rather than try to express it.
BT Song 1003: Nameless Status
Anyone can share
Through writing,
A thought
That comes to mind. 1
But who can share,
In writing,
The deeper thoughts
Of the heart entwined? 2
The rare sensation,
Felt within the soul,
Should transcend the mind,
Making us whole. 3
When it seeks
To fellowship with us,
Even the soul
Should silent be thus. 4
To that blissful joy
We receive in part,
It should not be named,
It’s beyond the heart. 5
We should not share
That divine bond
In any
Language beyond. 6
However we try,
With words we might say,
Finally, they too
Fall short in dismay. 7
When both heart and mind
Together align,
We worship God,
In fellowship divine. 8
We pray to God
For that joy to stay,
Within us always,
Not fading away. 9
Then without words,
In silence complete,
We worship His feet,
With grace so sweet. 10
Mathigiri, 31-10-2018, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1003: Nameless Status
Anybody can share
Through writing
The thought
That comes to mind. 1
Whoever says whichever might,
In writing,
Who can share about the
Thought of the heart? 2
The rare sensation
Which one gets in atman
Should be seen
Going beyond the mind. 3
When it comes
To have fellowship with us,
Even the atman should
Keep silent. 4
To that joyful bliss
Which we receive,
It should not be
Named in any way. 5
We should not share
That fellowship with God
Through any
Language. 6
However we try
And whichever words we get,
Finally, they too
Should realize defeat. 7
When both the
Heart and mind join together,
We should worship God
Who comes to have fellowship at that time. 8
We should pray to God
To have that joy
Remain
Permanently within us. 9
Then, not attempting
To convey that in words,
We should worship His feet
Through His grace. 10
Mathigiri, 31-10-2018, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1003: பெயரற்ற நிலை
எழுத்திலே எழுதி
எவரும் சொல்லலாம்
சிந்தையில் வந்திடும்
எண்ணத்தின் ஓட்டத்தை 1
எழுத்தாக்கி எதையும்
எவரும் சொல்லினும்
இதயத்தின் ஓட்டத்தை
எவர் சொல்லக் கூடும் 2
ஆன்மாவில் தோன்றும்
அரிதான உணர்வை
அறிவுக்கு அப்பாலே
சென்றுதான் பார்க்கணும் 3
அதுவந்து நம்மோடு
இடைபடும் போது
ஆன்மாவும் கூட
மவுனமே காக்கணும் 4
அப்போது தோன்றும்
பேரின்ப நிலைக்கு
எப்பெயரும் வைக்காமல்
இருந்திட வேண்டும் 5
இறைவனும் நம்மோடு
இடைபடும் பேற்றினை
எம்மொழி கொண்டு
சொல்லாது இருக்கணும் 6
எப்படி முயன்றாலும்
எச்சொல் கிடைத்தாலும்
இறுதியில் அதுவும் தன்
தோல்வியை அறியணும் 7
இதயமும் ஆன்மாவும்
இசைந்து ஒன்றாகி
இடைபடும் இறைவனைப்
பணிந்திட வேண்டும் 8
அப்போது உண்டாகும்
ஆனந்த நிலை அது
எப்போதும் நிலைத்திட
இறைவனை வேண்டணும் 9
அதன்பின் அதனையும்
எழுத்தாக்க முயலாமல்
அவனின் அருளாலே
அவன்தாள் வணங்கணும் 10
மத்திகிரி, 31-10-2018, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1004: Unchanging Nature
Whoever loves me?
Whoever hates me?
The bond I share with you,
Is all I need to see. 1
Though reasons come
To hate and reject,
I don’t worry
About them, with respect. 2
Those who love hating,
Those who hate loving,
This is human nature,
Constantly moving. 3
As I am part
Of humankind too,
I share this nature,
That doesn’t renew. 4
Though I regret,
And wish for change,
I find no means
To rearrange. 5
Though you’ve told me
Time and again,
To leave evil,
And good to maintain, 6
Seeing evil in good,
And good in evil,
I’ve been defeated,
By this upheaval. 7
Thinking about it,
Feeling sorrow’s weight,
I came to you,
Seeking a new fate. 8
Becoming my kin,
Teaching me anew,
You should guide me,
Again through and through. 9
Removing hate,
And rejection’s trace,
Seeing good and evil,
Through your grace. 10
Living in unity,
Inside and out,
Accepting your dharma,
Removing doubt. 11
Receiving change,
Through your grace divine,
I’ll live with you,
In fellowship fine. 12
Mathigiri, 2-11-2018, 10:45 p.m.
BT Song 1004
The fluctuation in human relationships is normal, considering our nature. Love and hate are part of normal life. It depends not only upon others’ responses but also our own situation and temperament. As I have the same nature, I told the Lord that whatever might be my love and hate for others, or others’ hate and love for me, my relationship with Him is enough for me as it sustains me to move on in life. At the same time, He has to help me overcome such fluctuations in my temperament; that was my request to Him.
BT Song 1004: Unchanging Nature
Whoever loves me?
Whoever hates me?
The relationship that I have with you
Is enough for me. 1
Though there is reason
To hate and reject,
I don’t worry
About them. 2
Those who love hating,
Those who hate loving,
This is
Human nature. 3
As I am also
One among them,
I too have
That unchanging nature. 4
Though I
Regret about it,
I don’t find means
To overcome it. 5
Though you told
Several times to
Give up evil
And to hold good, 6
Seeing evil in good
And good in evil,
I have been
Defeated several times. 7
Thinking about it
And feeling sorry for it,
I came again
Unto you. 8
Becoming my relative,
Again to me,
You should teach it
Again and again to me. 9
Removing both
Hate and rejection in the heart,
Realizing good and evil
Through you. 10
Living in unity
Both in and out,
Accepting your
Dharma in heart. 11
Receiving change
Through your grace,
I should live with you
Again, having fellowship. 12
Mathigiri, 2-11-2018, 10.45 p.m.
BT Song 1004: மாறாத குணம்
யார் வெறுத்தாலும்
யார் மறுத்தாலும்
உன்னிடம் எனக்குள்ள
உறவொன்றே போதும் 1
வெறுத்திட மறுத்திடக்
காரணம் இருப்பினும்
அதுபற்றிக் கவலை
எனக்கில்லை என்றும் 2
விரும்பினோர் வெறுப்பதும்
வெறுப்பவர் விரும்பலும்
மனிதருக்கு உள்ள
மாறாத குணம் 3
அவருள் நானும்
ஒருவனாய் இருப்பதால்
எனக்குமே உள்ளது
மாறாத அக்குணம் 4
அதையும் எண்ணி
வருத்த முற்றாலும்
அதனை வென்றிட
வழிதான் காணோம் 5
தீமையை வெறுத்து
நன்மையைப் பற்றிட
பலமுறை நீயும்
சொன்ன போதும் 6
நன்மையில் தீமை
தீமையில் நன்மை
பார்த்தே அடைந்தேன்
தோல்வியே நானும் 7
அதனை எண்ணி
மனமும் நொந்து
வந்தேன் மீண்டும்
உன்னிடம் நானும் 8
உறவாய் நீயும்
மாறியே மீண்டும்
சொல்லியே தரணும்
மீண்டும் மீண்டும் 9
மறுப்பை வெறுப்பை
மனதால் நீக்கி
நன்மை தீமை
உன்னால் உணர்ந்து 10
உள்ளும் புறமும்
ஒன்றாய் வாழ்ந்து
உனது நீதியை
மனதால் ஏற்று 11
உனது அருளால்
மாற்றமும் பெற்று
உறவாய் உன்னுடன்
வாழவும் வேண்டும் 12
மத்திகிரி, 2-11-2018, இரவு, 10.45
BT Song 1005
As I was in a worshipful mood, I wrote this song just to sing and praise the Lord.
BT Song 1005: I Will Write New Songs
By writing new songs,
As I sing for you,
Thinking my heart rejoices,
With joy that’s true. 1
You’ll join me,
Beating the drum,
Together we’ll join,
As one in hum. 2
By praising you,
Suffering will flee,
Joy immense
Will fill me. 3
Divine bliss
Will fill my mind,
My heart will long
Your feet to find. 4
Filled with gratitude,
I’ll praise your name,
Thinking of blessings,
Day by day the same. 5
I’ll celebrate,
With thoughts so bright,
I’ll pray for all,
To receive this light. 6
Joining those
Who’ve experienced and received,
With love in heart,
So deeply believed. 7
Remembering your grace,
In heart and thought,
I’ll write new songs,
With joy they’re wrought. 8
Mathigiri, 3-11-2018, 10:45 p.m.
BT Song 1005: I Will Write New Songs
By writing new songs,
As I sing for you,
Thinking that as my
Heart rejoices, 1
Joining me as you too
Beat the drum,
We two will join
To have fellowship. 2
By praising,
Suffering will go,
Immense joy
Will be born in the heart. 3
A divine bliss
Will fill the mind,
My heart will
Long to reach your Holy feet. 4
Filled with gratitude,
I will praise you.
I will think of all the
Blessings that I receive each day. 5
I will celebrate,
Thinking that.
I will pray to you
For all to receive it. 6
Joining those
Who experienced and received it,
Thinking of the immense
Love in heart, 7
Remembering your grace
In both heart and thought,
I will write new songs,
Singing with joy. 8
Mathigiri, 3-11-2018, 10.45 p.m.
BT Song 1005: புதுப்பாடல் புனைவேன்
புதுப்பாடல் புனைந்து
நானுனைப் பாட
அதையெண்ணி என்னுள்ளம்
ஆனந்தக் கூத்தாட 1
என்னோடு நீ சேர்ந்து
தாளமும் போட
இணைவோம் இருவரும்
மகிழ்ந்து உறவாட 2
துதிப்பதால் துன்பமும்
தூரமே போகும்
தெவிட்டாத ஆனந்தம்
மனதினுள் உண்டாகும் 3
தெய்வீகப் பேரின்பம்
சிந்தையில் நிறையும்
திருவடி வந்திட
என்னுள்ளம் விழையும் 4
நன்றியால் நிறைந்து
நானுன்னைத் துதிப்பேன்
நான் பெறும் நன்மையை
நாளுமே நினைப்பேன் 5
அவை எண்ணிக் கொண்டாடி
ஆனந்தம் அடைவேன்
அனைவரும் பெற்றிட
உன்னிடம் வேண்டுவேன் 6
அறிந்தவர் அடைந்தவர்
தம்மோடு சேர்ந்து
அளவற்ற அன்பினை
மனதாற நினைந்து 7
மனதிலும் நினைவிலும்
உன்னருள் நிறைந்து
மகிழ்வோடு புன்பாடிப்
புதுப்பாடல் புனைவேன் 8
மத்திகிரி, 3-11-2018, இரவு, 10.45
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