BT Song 1026
Unless God upholds us, there is no chance for us to keep anything in life—material or relationship. As I was meditating upon this, I wrote this song.
BT Song 1026: God Alone Should Uphold Us
1
If we grow proud,
He’ll bring us low.
He lifts the humble,
This we know.
2
He leaves the choice,
For us to make.
Which path to walk,
Which way to take.
3
When we believe,
It’s ours to keep,
He takes it away,
In a sudden sweep.
4
When we think,
It will always stay,
He moves it from us,
Without delay.
5
Nothing with us
Will ever last.
We too change,
Our time goes fast.
6
In this fleeting life,
What remains secure?
Nothing here is ours,
Nothing sure.
7
So why let pride,
Take root within?
We must cast out,
The thought of “mine.”
8
With humble hearts,
Receive His gifts.
Live detached,
From earthly shifts.
9
Desiring less,
Of worldly needs,
Overcome the senses,
And selfish deeds.
10
Embrace simplicity,
Fully and true.
Let God uphold us,
In all we do.
Mathigiri, 17-12-2018, 10:30 p.m.
BT Song 1026 God alone should uphold us
1
If we become proud
He will oppose
He will uphold
The simple one
2
He will leave
The decision to choose
Which one
We want
3
When we think that
It belongs to me
He will snatch it
From us within the blink of an eye
4
When we think that
It will remain permanently
He will remove it
While we are watching it
5
We don’t have
Anything permanent with us
We too never remain
Stable
6
In this life
Which does not remain permanent?
There is nothing for us to claim
Ours here
7
Why should
Pride come in this?
The thought that ‘mine’
Should be removed completely
8
When He gives
Receiving with much humility
We should live
With detachment from it
9
Along with the desire for material needs
Overcoming the desire of senses
Along with it
Giving up egoism
10
Accepting simplicity
Completely
We should complete our life
Allowing God to uphold us
Mathigiri, 17-12-2018, 10.30 p.m.
BT Song 1027
In the past few days, though inspiration came and I was prompted to write a song, I continued to resist it, as I had grown tired of my poems. They seemed rhetorical and lacking anything new. So, when I meditated or prayed, I tried to resist any instinct to write a poem. But tonight, I couldn’t resist any longer and was finally compelled to write this song. Once God decides to bestow His grace, boon, and blessing, there is no way to resist it. When we continue to seek Him, His presence always comes with a blessing. When He refuses to give, none of our efforts will help us to feel His presence or blessing.
BT Song 1027: He Will Come Seeking Us
1
Not all receive,
This chance so rare.
Though we try to speak,
None can compare.
Until He comes,
And gives His grace,
Our deepest wishes,
Won’t take place.
2
To reach His presence,
Is simple indeed.
Yet there’s a barrier,
We must heed.
Though we yearn,
And seek His face,
Without His mercy,
No embrace.
3
God Himself,
Will come to give,
Removing hurdles,
So we may live.
Yet to feel,
His presence near,
Without His gift,
He won’t appear.
4
Keep His feet,
In heart and mind.
His love within,
We’ll surely find.
Join with Him,
In soul and sense,
He’ll come to us,
His love immense.
5
We need no time,
No special rites,
To feel His love,
And see His light.
Through our bond,
He’ll draw us near,
To share His love,
So pure and clear.
6
When such a chance,
Comes to our door,
Words are useless,
We need no more.
When He arrives,
Of His own will,
Our deepest needs,
He’ll surely fill.
Mathigiri, 20-12-2018, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1027 He will come seeking us
1
All won’t get
This kind of opportunity
However we try to communicate
Nobody can understand it
Until He comes
And gives
However we wish
It won’t be accomplished
2
Reaching His presence
Is a very easy one
But there is one
Hurdle to it
Though we seek
And long for it
Without His grace
We cannot attain it
3
God will come
Only to bestow
Removing the hurdles
He will stand before us
But the blessing of
Experiencing His presence
We cannot get
Without Him
4
Remembering His feet
In our thoughts
Carrying His love
In our hearts
Mingling with Him
Both in atman and sense
When we reach His feet
He will come to overtake us
5
We need not
Set aside time for that
We need not observe
Rituals and functions
When we approach
Because of our relationship with Him
He will come on His own
To have fellowship with us
6
When we get
Such an opportunity
We need not
Talk about it in words
Once He comes on His own
Seeking after us
We need not
Try anything on our own
Mathigiri, 20-12-2018, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1028
Each bhakta has her own way of understanding the will of God in her life. For me, the best way to understand is that when God wants me to do something or be involved in something, He will give me the interest and motivation to do it. Then He will arrange circumstances in such a way that He will send the right kind of help for me to be deeply committed. But there have been several occasions when, despite my interest and efforts, things went against my plans and vision. In such instances, I understand that it is not God’s will for me. Several times I have felt a strong instinct either to involve myself or to withdraw, but I was not sure whether I was making decisions based on selfishness or temperament. When it is God’s will, despite my strong instinct, my initial enthusiasm may wane, but if God continues to send the right kind of help, I persist. However, when everything goes against it—lack of interest, motivation, and help—I realize that it is surely not God’s will. Of course, I don’t make my decisions alone and consult my well-wishers and like-minded bhaktas to confirm it. As one such incident recently happened, I wrote this song.
BT Song 1028: How Will I Thank You?
1
You knew my plight,
And took pity on me,
With gracious acts,
You set me free.
2
Before I asked,
You understood,
You saw my need,
And did me good.
3
Before I spoke,
Of my desire,
You read my heart,
And lifted me higher.
4
When words would fail,
To express my thought,
You knew it all,
Your grace I sought.
5
In moments of doubt,
And silent plea,
You showed your strength,
Supporting me.
6
To know your will,
For me each day,
You gave me strength,
To find my way.
7
Though conscience hurt,
And troubled me,
You showed your mercy,
And set me free.
8
In my struggle,
You were there,
With boundless love,
And tender care.
9
A fool am I,
Who makes mistakes,
Yet in your grace,
My soul awakes.
10
I know your love,
So deep and true,
I found my place,
At the feet of you.
11
How can I thank,
Your mercy shown,
You lifted me,
Made me your own.
Mathigiri, 21-12-2018, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1028 How will I thank you?
1
Knowing my condition
You took pity on me
By acting properly
You showed your grace
2
Even before I ask
As you understood it
Knowing my need
You acted accordingly
3
Before I utter
About my need
You understood
The thoughts of my heart
4
As I don’t know
How to express properly
You enacted
My thoughts
5
When I hesitate
To ask
As I know about
My weakness
6
In order to know
Your will for me
You overcame my weakness
Through your strength
7
Still as my
Conscience hurts me
As I am
Troubled by it
8
Knowing about
My struggle
You showed
Your mercy to me
9
I am a fool
Who knows only to commit mistakes
There is no means of escape
I understood it
10
Still I know
About your grace
Therefore I
Reached your feet
11
How am I going
To thank you
As you showed your mercy
Knowing about my situation
Mathigiri, 21-12-2018, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1029
After writing the previous song (1028) and closing it, I said in Tamil, “I don’t know how to thank You.” Then I began to meditate on this, as I have failed several times in my life. But my failures became another blessing because the Lord is there to uphold me. Therefore, this will continue until the end of my life, and He should never become upset with me, as if I am taking His grace for granted.
BT Song 1029: I Don’t Know
1
I don’t know,
But you are aware,
Why this strife,
When you truly care?
2
Before I argue,
I accept defeat,
I’ve told you already,
I can’t compete.
3
Whatever it is,
Your judgment I’ll heed,
I’ll act accordingly,
In thought and deed.
4
Understand,
My wounded heart,
Apply your balm,
And heal its part.
5
If left untouched,
And pain ignored,
The wound festers,
Unrest restored.
6
If you press,
The knife too deep,
The pain is yours,
In wounds that weep.
7
Whatever may come,
The burden is shared,
You must know this,
For you have cared.
8
I lay half-dead,
Upon this way,
What will you do,
On this dark day?
9
You cannot leave,
But why delay?
What reason keeps,
Your love at bay?
10
What’s the use,
Of such dismay?
It’s not the first time,
I’ve gone astray.
11
As long as I live,
I’ll stumble and fall,
But you are there,
To guide through it all.
12
This alone,
Is what I know,
No further strife,
Is needed so.
Mathigiri, 21-12-2018, 11:45 p.m.
BT Song 1029 I don’t know
1
I don’t know
You know that
Still why
This contention with me?
2
Before arguing my case
I will accept my defeat
I already told you that
I cannot plead my case
3
Whatever it might be
I will accept your judgment
And I will act accordingly
I came only to tell you this.
4
You should understand
The wounded heart
You should apply
Balm on it to heal
5
Leaving that
If you poke it further
Only wound and pus
Will remain
6
If you pierce
The knife further
The pain is yours
And not mine
7
Finally whatever
Might happen to me
The burden will be yours
You should understand it
8
I lay down on the path
Half dead
What are you going to do?
After knowing it?
9
You cannot go
Away from me
But what is the
Reason for this much delay?
10
What is the use of
Becoming upset
As if I am
Doing it for the first time?
11
As long as I live
I will fall many times
As you are there
To uphold me
12
This alone
I know
Therefore no need for
Further contention.
Mathigiri, 21-12-2018, 11.45 p.m.
BT Song 1030
Facing certain situations or people is a challenge. Our own imagination about the consequences of a situation might force us to avoid it. However, no matter how I might manage when it happens, it is more difficult to face God. When He wants to confront me, I neither have the ability nor the strength to face Him. Keeping quiet, neither explaining nor defending myself, is the best solution when it happens. As I was thinking about this, I wrote this song.
BT Song 1030: There Is No Other Way
1
I hesitated,
To face the truth,
Do I need to explain,
This to you?
2
Many thoughts,
Confuse my mind,
Don’t you know,
What’s hard to find?
3
I lack the courage,
To face mankind,
My soul is weak,
My heart confined.
4
Even if I,
Face them both,
I cannot face,
You and your oath.
5
I can deceive,
With a mask so neat,
Argue with my heart,
And claim deceit.
6
But none of these,
Will work with you,
Only the truth,
Will see me through.
7
Yet even this,
I’m scared to tell,
Lacking courage,
I hide so well.
8
There’s no need,
For words to share,
You know my thoughts,
You’re always there.
9
So in silence,
I stand before,
In quiet,
My heart does pour.
10
There’s no other way,
This truth to convey,
I won’t hesitate,
In any way.
Mathigiri, 22-12-2018, 11:10 p.m.
BT Song 1030 There is no other way
1
I had some hesitation
To face
Do I need to say why?
To you
2
Many kinds of
Imaginations within me
Often confuse me
Don’t you know about it?
3
I don’t have the
Courage to face humans
My atman does not have courage
To face the heart
4
Somehow though I
Manage to overcome both
I don’t have the courage
To face you
5
I can cheat others
By putting on a mask
I can cheat my heart
By arguing in many ways
6
But as they won’t be
Useful before you
Telling the fact alone to you
Is good for me
7
But I am not
Qualified even to tell that
Added to that
I don’t have the courage
8
There is no need
For me to share with you
As you know
My inner thoughts
9
Therefore I remain
Silent before you
Through it
I told you about my condition
10
There is no
Alternative to this
And I won’t hesitate
To tell this to you.
Mathigiri, 22-12-2018, 11.10 p.m.
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