BT Song 1086
Though old age will bring so many limitations to our body in doing seva for the Lord, still the spirit in us will help us to worship him as usual by praising him.
BT Song 1086 I Will Live Praising
I will sing your praise each day
Seek your holy feet, I pray
When the thought of you arises
I will know your grace in all your surprises 1
You made me just to sing your praise
Gave me a heart that always sways
In songs of love that bring you joy
Fill my heart, Lord, with your light 2
Nature moves and whispers your name
Every breeze and leaf proclaim
As my heart joins in their song
I’ll praise your name all day long 3
All your creations sing with delight
Living beings dance in your light
As I join with them in song
My heart will write poems all night long 4
The God I sought is truly you
In my praise and worship too
You’ll come and bless me, make me whole
Live in me, Lord, heart and soul 5
When my body weakens and falls
No way to serve, no strength at all
My soul will worship, sing your praise
In that joy, I’ll live my days 6
Mathigiri, 14-4-2019, 11.10 p.m.
BT Song 1086 I Will Live Praising
I will also sing praising
I will seek the holy feet of the divine
When the thought of praising comes
I will realize the grace of the divine 1
You created me just to praise
You gave me a mind to praise
As you rejoice in my praise
You will fill my heart completely 2
Every movement of nature
Praises, saying you are the Lord
When my heart joins with them
My thoughts will always praise you 3
Your creations sing praises
All living beings dance joyfully
As my life joins with them
My heart will joyfully compose poetry 4
The God I sought is you
When I sing praises and worship you
You will come seeking and do good
And make me live firmly in you 5
Even without a way to serve
When the body weakens and falters
My soul will worship you in praise
I will live in that fulfillment 6
Mathigiri, 14-4-2019, 11.10 p.m.
BT Song 1087
One of the blessings that I received from the Lord is to accept my weakness and limitation. Before I become the bhakta of the Lord, I tried to justify my weakness and limitation than accepting them. But as the Lord helped me to understand this, he gave the strength that I required in him to overcome them.
BT Song 1087 BT Song You Made Me Live
I came to live
In this world
You made me thrive
Every day in you
Though there were many reasons
For me to fall
You lifted and protected me
With your call
When I think deeply
About this
Oh Lord, within me
Gratitude persists
Without knowing humility
In arrogance
I lived
This existence
I didn’t realize
I would fall
In pride,
I stood tall
Thinking always
I could do it
I placed trust
In my spirit
I gave a thousand reasons
For others
To trust
My endeavors
In a moment I slipped
And after the fall
I understood
The truth of it all
Finally, I realized
That I cannot
Place my trust
In any thought
In the end, I turned
Back to you
Truly understanding
What I must do
To gain the strength
I came to you
To shed my weakness
I begged anew
Removing pride
Erasing ego
Breaking my spirit
You made me grow
Because of this, every day
Living through you
With a full heart
I say thank you
Mathigiri, 15-4-2019, Night, 10:30
BT Song 1087 You Made Me Live
I came to live
In this world
You made me live
Every day in you 1
Though there were many reasons
For me to fall
You lifted and protected me
Again in You 2
When I think deeply
about this
Oh Lord, within me
Gratitude is born 3
Without knowing humility
With arrogance
I lived
on this earth 4
I didn’t realize
I was going to fall
In pride,
I stood firm 5
Thinking always
I can do it
I placed trust
In myself 6
I gave a thousand reasons
For others
To trust
in me 7
In a moment I slipped
After falling
I understood
The situation well 8
Finally, I realized
That I cannot
place trust
In anyone 9
In the end, I turned
Back to you
Truly understanding
What my strength is 10
To get the same
I came to you
To remove my weakness
I stood pleading 11
Removing pride
Erasing ego
Breaking my spirit
You made me live 12
Because of this, every day
Living by you
With a full heart
I said thank you 13
Mathigiri, 15-4-2019, Night, 10:30
BT Song 1088
For me god never talks audible with anyone or to me. But when he occupies my thought, then I understand that that is the way he talks with me. But since past few days, as my Mami (95, my mother’s sister-in-law) has come to stay with us I was busy in taking care to two seniors. So naturally I become tired and unable to spend much time in meditation. But this should not be any excuse on the part of god to talk with me. As a human I can give various reasons and excuses, but god cannot do that. So as he failed to fill my thought, I wrote this song complaining about it to him.
BT Song 1088 I Will Be Patient
1.
When you don’t understand
Even when told,
If you stand silent,
What can I do?
When you can’t comprehend
On your own,
If you keep quiet,
What should I pursue?
2.
Talking non-stop,
Yet can’t express,
Can’t find the words,
Properly and clear.
Even if I try
To say something,
No words
Seem to appear.
3.
Still, I came close,
To speak with you,
Seeking your nod,
I stood before you.
When you too
Stayed silent,
I found myself
Lost and mute.
4.
No need to shout
For ears to hear,
No need to speak
For thoughts to be clear.
Just standing there,
As a thought,
My mind will
Catch the plot.
5.
That’s what you’ve
Always done,
Silently grasping
All that’s spun.
Why this change
Of no avail?
You must
Answer this tale.
6.
That very answer
I will patiently wait,
I’ll articulate the words
Clearly and straight.
I’ll come to you
To say the same.
Until then,
I’ll wait without blame.
Mathigiri, April 20th, 2019, Night, 10:15
BT Song 1088: I Will Be Patient
1.
When you don’t know
Even if told,
If you stand silent,
What should I do?
When you can’t understand
On your own,
If you keep quiet,
What is the way?
2.
Talking non-stop,
Can’t even express,
Can’t utter a few words,
Properly and clearly.
Even if I open my mouth
To speak something,
No words
Come to my tongue.
3.
Yet I approached,
To converse with you,
Seeking permission,
I stood before you.
When you too
Remained silent,
I couldn’t speak
On my own.
4.
No need to shout
For ears to hear,
No need to speak
For thoughts to process.
Just standing there,
As a notion,
My mind will
Comprehend it.
5.
That’s what you’ve
Always done,
Silently taking hold
Of my thoughts.
Why this
Futile change now?
You must
Provide an answer.
6.
That very answer
I will patiently hear,
I’ll articulate the words
Clearly and plainly.
I’ll come to you
To convey the same.
Until then,
I’ll maintain my patience.
Mathigiri, April 20th, 2019, Night, 10:15
BT Song 1089
As I got lost of mango from the ashram, I was busy in my annual ritual of preparing mango pickle to give various people and also for the summer meeting to be held in May. As usual my mother began to launch her missile attack by saying that I am wasting too much money in preparing pickle to distribute ‘THE WHOLE WORLD’ (you must see her body language and voice which brings laugh to me). When launched my defence missile by pointing out that most of the pickles go only to her daughter and grand children, not accepting her defeat she said, ‘no one asks your pickle. In order to brag how good you are in preparing pickle you do this every year’. But when I complete the work, she will say, ‘keep some for your brother also’. As Mami has come to stay with us, I become very tired because of this additional work I cannot do my regular sadhana. But I cannot why god also remains silent not occupying my mind? I cannot understand it. Anyhow even his silence gave me the opportunity to talk to him, I won’t mind about it.
BT Song 1089 Let Silence Prevail
1.
What to speak and what to leave,
I know not, my heart does grieve,
The struggle within my soul,
You may never understand whole.
2.
What my mind comprehends with ease,
My heart refuses to appease,
To bridge this inner disarray,
I know not yet the way.
3.
This struggle is no stranger to me,
Its resolution I do not see,
An end to seek I’ve not begun,
In this battle I stand undone.
4.
A burden this may seem to some,
Yet to me, that day has not come,
To explain why I feel no strain,
There’s no need, it’s all in vain.
5.
Though much I comprehend of late,
The silence you hold does not abate,
That quietude of yours, so profound,
Its depths in me remain unfound.
6.
On the path you set, I did proceed,
Your counsel I did heed,
Each piece of wisdom I embraced,
In your guidance I placed my faith.
7.
As best I could, I lived your creed,
Yet complete success I did not heed,
Fulfillment in full I could not gain,
Despite following in your train.
8.
This too, in its way, turned out right,
To share with you, I found the light,
The chance to tell you how I feel,
In this moment, my heart does reveal.
9.
For you desire the same as I,
Together, let us reach the sky,
For both of us, this journey fair,
Has brought us blessings to share.
10.
Thus, continue your silence dear,
Through it grant me strength to bear,
The peace of mind I need to cope,
And in my heart instill hope.
11.
To speak these words, grant me the right,
And in this task, leave me the light,
The responsibility I shall take,
For our shared future’s sake.
Mathigiri, April 28th, 2019, Night 11:50“`
BT Song 1089
1.
What to say, what to leave out,
I do not know,
The struggle within me,
You too do not understand.
2.
What my mind understands,
My heart does not accept,
To make it understand,
I do not know the way.
3.
This struggle,
Is not new to me,
To find an end to this,
I have not searched.
4.
This does not feel,
Like a burden to me,
To explain why,
There is no need for me.
5.
Even after understanding,
The silence you hold,
That alone, till now,
I do not understand.
6.
I tried going,
On the path you said,
The advice you gave,
I accepted all of it.
7.
As much as possible,
I lived accordingly,
Yet, complete success,
I did not see.
8.
Even this, in a way,
Turned out well,
To tell you,
I got the chance.
9.
Since you too,
Desire the same,
For both of us, this has,
Become beneficial.
10.
Therefore, continue,
Your silence,
Through that, give me,
The state of mind to accept it.
11.
To say this,
Give me the right,
And leave the responsibility,
With me.
Mathigiri, 28-4-2019, Night 11.50
BT Song 1090
After some gap and hot summer, again rain came this evening with heavy wind and lightning. So there was no power in our area. Fortunately I have power back up and we had power in our house. So when my mother retired to bed, as I returned my room I sat relaxing in the light and began to think about the immense blessing that god provided in my life. Of course having battery power in the absence of electricity is a common thing now. But I never take for granted any of the blessings from god. Then I told the Lord what is the reason for giving so many blessings in my life as inspiration came I wrote this song.
BT Song 1090
1.
What have you done for me?
So many good things,
Why did you do these?
I too must know.
2.
I am not worthy,
To receive these,
Why did you feel compassion?
You must tell me.
3.
You humble the proud,
And lift the lowly,
Because of this quality,
Did you do this for me?
4.
No one else
cares for me,
Did you come to help,
Knowing this fact?
5.
Because you are a
compassionate God,
Did you show a little mercy,
Even to me?
6.
Struggling in sin,
I had fallen completely,
Did you come to show your grace,
And lift me up?
7.
Is there another reason,
Beyond all these,
That you came
to tell me?
8.
Whatever it may be,
What do I gain by knowing?
I see no answer,
To give me.
9.
Yet, counting the good things,
You have done,
I will live each day,
With praises.
Mathigiri, 7-5-2019, Night, 9.10
BT Song 1090
1.
What wondrous deeds have you done for me,
Blessings in abundance, I see,
Why did you bestow these favors true?
I must know the reasons from you.
2.
Unworthy am I,
To receive such grace,
Why did you show compassion,
Tell me face to face.
3.
You humble the proud,
And lift the lowly,
Is it for this reason,
You did this for me wholly?
4.
No one else shows care,
For my plight and despair,
Did you come to aid,
Knowing no one else is there?
5.
Being the compassionate God you are,
Did you extend your mercy from afar,
Even to me, with a heart so scarred?
6.
In sin’s mire,
I had fallen deep,
Did you come with grace,
My soul to keep?
7.
Is there another reason,
Beyond what I see,
That you came to reveal,
Especially to me?
8.
Whatever the reason,
What gain is there for me,
No answers found,
As far as I see.
9.
Yet counting all the good,
You have done for me,
I will live each day,
Singing praises to thee.
Mathigiri, May 7th, 2019, Night, 9:10
BT Song 1086 துதித்து வாழ்வேன்
துதித்து நானும் பாடிடுவேன்
தெய்வத்தின் திருவடி நாடிடுவேன்
துதிக்கும் எண்ணம் வரும்போது
தெய்வத்தின் அருளை அறிந்திடுவேன் 1
துதிக்கத்தானே எனைப் படைத்தாய்
துதிப்பதற்கென்றே மனம் தந்தாய்
துதிக்கும் துதியில் நீ மகிழ
சித்தை முழுதும் நிறைந்து கொள்வாய் 2
இயற்கையின் அசைவு ஒவ்வொன்றும்
இறைவன் நீயெனத் துதித்திருக்க
இதயமும் அவற்றுடன் சேர்ந்துகொள்ள
எண்ணம் என்றும் உனைத் துதிக்கும் 3
உனது படைப்புகள் துதிபாட
உயிரினம் அனைத்தும் மகிழ்ந்தாட
உயிரும் அவற்றுடன் இணைந்து கொள்ள
உள்ளம் மகிழ்ந்து கவி பாடும் 4
தேடி வந்த தெய்வம் உன்னைத்
துதிகள் பாடி வணங்கும்போது
நாடிவந்து நன்மை செய்து
நிலைத்து உன்னில் வாழச் செய்வாய் 5
சேவை செய்ய வழியின்றித்
தேகம் குன்றித் தளர்ந்த போதும்
ஆவி உன்னைத் துதித்து வணங்க
அந்த நிறைவில் வாழ்ந்திருப்பேன் 6
மத்திகிரி, 14-4-2019, இரவு 11.10
BT Song 1087 வாழவைத்தாய்
வாழத்தான் வந்தேன்
உலகிலே நானும்
வாழவே வைத்தாய்
நாளுமே நீயும் 1
வீழத்தான் பலவிதக்
காரணம் இருந்தும்
தூக்கியே காத்தாய்
மீண்டுமே நீயும் 2
ஆழமாய் இதையே
எண்ணிடும் போது
ஐயனே என்னுள்ளே
நன்றியும் பிறக்கும் 3
தாழ்மையே அறியாது
தலைச் செருக்குடன்
தரணியில் நானும்
வாழ்ந்த போது 4
வீழத்தான் போகிறேன்
என்பது புரியாது
வீம்புக்கு நானும்
செருமையே நின்றேன் 5
என்னாலே முடியும்
என்றுமே எண்ணி
என்மீது நானும்
நம்பிக்கை வைத்தேன் 6
அதையே பிறரும்
என்மீது வைக்க
ஆயிரம் காரணம்
அவருக்குத் தந்தேன் 7
நொடியினில் சறுக்கி
வீழ்ந்த பின்னே
நிலமையை நானும்
நன்கு அறிந்தேன் 8
எவர்மீதும் நம்பிக்கை
வைத்திட இயலாது
என்பதை இறுதியில்
நானும் உணர்ந்தேன் 9
இறுதியில் உன்னிடம்
திரும்பியே பின்னரே
என்பலம் எதுவென
உண்மையில் புரிந்தேன் 10
அதையே பெறவே
உன்னிடம் வந்து
பலவீனம் போக்க
இறைஞ்சியே நின்றேன் 11
ஆணவம் போக்கி
அகந்தையை நீக்கி
ஆவியை நொறுக்கி
வாழவும்வைத்தாய் 12
அதனால் அனுதினம்
உன்னாலே வாழ்ந்து
இதயம் நிறைந்து
நன்றியும் சொன்னேன் 13
மத்திகிரி, 15-4-2019, இரவு, 10.30
BT Song 1088 பொறுமை காப்பேன்
சொன்னாலும் செய்யத்
தெரியாத போது
சொல்லாமல் நின்றால்
என்செய்ய கூறு
தன்னாலே உணர
முடியாத போது
வாய்மூடி நின்றால்
வழியேது கூறு 1
ஓயாமல் பேசி
புலம்பவும் தெரியாது
ஒழுங்காக சில வார்த்தை
கூறவும் இயலாது
ஏதேனும் சொல்ல
வாயைத் திறந்தாலும்
எவ்விதச் சொல்லும்
நாவிலே வாராது 2
ஆனாலும் உன்னிடம்
பேச வந்தேன்
அனுமதி கேட்டு
உன்முன்னே நின்றேன்
சொல்லென நீயும்
சொல்லாத போது
நானாகப் பேச
எனக்கு இயலாது 3
செவிகேட்க சத்தமாய்
சொல்ல வேண்டாம்
சிந்திக்கும் படியாக
கூற வேண்டாம்
எண்ணத்தின் எண்ணமாய்
நின்றாலே போதும்
என்மனம் அதையே
புரிந்திடக் கூடும் 4
அதைத்தானே இதுவரை
செய்துமே வந்தாய்
அமைதியாய் எண்ணத்தை
ஆட்கொண்டு நின்றாய்
இடையினில் ஏனிந்த
வீணான மாற்றம்
இதற்கான விடையை
நீ கூற வேண்டும் 5
அதையே நானும்
அமைதலாய்க் கேட்பேன்
அதற்கேற்ப வார்த்தைகள்
சரியாகத் தொடுப்பேன்
அதையே உன்னிடம்
கூற வருவேன்
அதுவரை நானும்
பொறுமை காப்பேன் 6
மத்திகிரி, 20-4-2019, இரவு, 10.15
1089 மவுனம் தொடரட்டும்
1.
எதைச் சொல்ல எதைவிட
என்பதும் தெரியலை
எனக்குள்ள போராட்டம்
உனக்குமா விளங்கலை
2.
சிந்தைக்குப் புரிவதை
மனது ஏற்கலை
புரியவைத்திட
வழியும் தெரியலை
3.
இந்தப் போராட்டம்
எனக்கு புதிதில்லை
இதற்கொரு முடிவை
நானும் தேடலை
4.
இதுஒரு பாரமாய்
எனக்கு தெரியலை
ஏனெனச் சொல்லத்
தேவை எனக்கில்லை
5.
விளங்கிய பின்னும்
நீ கொண்ட மவுனம்
அதுமட்டும் இதுவரை
எனக்கு விளங்கலை
6.
நீ சொன்ன வழியில்
சென்றுதான் பார்த்தேன்
நீ தந்த அறிவுரை
அனைத்தையும் ஏற்றேன்
7.
இயன்ற வரையில்
அதன்படி வாழ்ந்தேன்
ஆயினும் வெற்றியை
முழுமையாய்க் காணேன்
8.
இதுவும் ஒருவிதம்
நல்லதாய்ப் போச்சு
உன்னிடம் சொல்ல
வாய்ப்பெனக் காச்சு
9.
அதையே நீயும்
விரும்புவதாலே
இருவருக்கும் இதுவே
சாதகமாக ஆச்சு
10.
எனவே நீயுன்
மவுனத்தைத் தொடரு
அதனால் நான் ஏற்கும்
மனநிலையும் தந்திடு
11.
இதையே சொல்ல
உரிமையும் தந்திடு
அதன்பின் பொறுப்பை
என்னிடம் விட்டிடு
மத்திகிரி, 28-4-2019, இரவு 11.50
BT Song 1090 நான் அறியணும்
1.
என்னமாய்ச் செய்தாய்
நன்மைகள் ஏராளம்
ஏனிதைச் செய்தாய்
நானுமே அறியணும்
2.
இவைபெறும் தகுதி
எனக்கில்லை ஆயினும்
எதற்காக இரங்கினாய்
நீயதைச் சொல்லணும்
3.
உயர்ந்தோரைத் தாழ்த்தி
தாழ்ந்தோரை ஏத்தும்
குணம்நீ கொண்டதால்
எனக்கிதைச் செய்தாயா?
4.
என்மீது இரங்கிட
எவருமே இல்லை
என்பதை எண்ணியே
உதவிட வந்தாயா
5.
எல்லோர்க்கும் இரங்கும்
இறைவன்நீ என்பதால்
என்மீதும் சற்றே
கருணையும் கொண்டாயா
6.
பாவத்தில் உழன்று
வீழ்ந்துமே போனதால்
மீட்டிட்டும் கிருபையை
காட்ட வந்தாயா
7.
இவைகளை மீறிய
காரணம் உண்டு
என்பதை அறிவிக்க
என்னிடம் வந்தாயா
8.
ஏதான போதும்
அறிந்தென்ன இலாபம்
என்னிடம் பதில்செய்ய
ஒன்றுமே காணோம்
9.
ஆயினும் நீசெய்த
நன்மைகள் எண்ணி
அனுதினம் வாழ்வேன்
துதிகள் பண்ணி
மத்திகிரி, 7-5-2019, இரவு, 9.10
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