BT Song 1121
When I read any deep subject, I become extremely rational, asking several questions for which I cannot find any answers. But when I sit before the Lord to meditate, some kind of mysticism overwhelms my spirit, making several things very clear. For me, the way the Lord demonstrated the love of God by becoming an object of mockery to the wise and a simple one for the fools is enough. When I was meditating on it, the first line of this song came to my mind as a statement. Then, as inspiration came, I wrote this song as my meditation for the day.
BT Song 1121: You Made It Simple
Verse 1:
You made all things simple, just for me,
For you understood my heart so perfectly.
When words direct could not convey,
You revealed the truth in a clearer way.
Verse 2:
In deep reflection, I have no delight,
Nor wisdom’s glow to guide my sight.
Superficial words, I cannot grasp,
In secret told, they’re lost so fast.
Verse 3:
No scholar am I, with learning bright,
No keen desire to seek the light.
No earnest quest to understand,
Even when explained by hand.
Verse 4:
Knowing what one like me would need,
With compassion, you took heed.
You showed by action, not by speech,
The path to save, within my reach.
Verse 5:
How wondrously you showed God’s love,
For me to grasp, you came from above.
Upon the tree, you bore the strife,
Revealing God’s love, and gave me life.
Verse 6:
The great truth, not in Vedas found,
In secret wisdom, not renowned.
To show it clear, you became the way,
For a simple soul like me, today.
Verse 7:
Once I grasped this simple grace,
My inner vision found its place.
With tears for your compassion’s plea,
I came to bow, on bended knee.
Mathigiri, 19-08-2019, 11.50 p.m.
BT Song 1121: You Made It Simple
You made everything simple
Just for me
Because you understood
Me so well
When I couldn’t understand
What was said directly
You made it clear to me
Without hiding anything 1
I have no interest
In deep thinking
I don’t have
The knowledge for it
If it’s said superficially
I can’t understand
If it’s said secretly
Nothing is clear 2
I am not
A learned person
I never had
The interest to learn
I never listened
When seeking after
Even if told
I never understood 3
Knowing what’s needed
For someone like me
Taking pity on me
And having compassion
You didn’t explain with words
But showed by actions
You showed me the way
To be saved 4
How you showed
God’s love!
For me to understand
You hung on a tree
You made God’s hidden love
Simple for me
By showing it
Through your actions 5
The great truth
Not known through Vedas
The secret truth
Never revealed
You became an example
To show clearly
You became simple
For a fool like me 6
Once I understood
This simplicity
My inner vision
Became clear
Weeping for your compassion
I came to you
Only to bow to you 7
Mathigiri, 19-08-2019, 11.50 p.m.
BT Song 1122
Slowly, I began to realize that I had become addicted to reading. Though I often thought that I read to gain knowledge, it has now become some kind of addiction. When I finish one book, there should be another book for me to read. Otherwise, I feel disturbed. Whether I have other things to do or not, there should be enough books in my library for me to read. I developed this tendency in my teenage years, and now I have become addicted to it. This often makes me forget my other sadhanas. Several days have gone without meditation or prayer, but not a single day has passed (unless I was very sick or had too much work) without reading a book.
So, this night after reading my regular portion in Muktiveda, when I took the first book to read (I read two or three books simultaneously on various topics), some kind of disturbance came to my mind. Unable to read, I closed the book. Then I took the next book, but I could not even open it as some kind of disturbance came to my spirit. Somehow, overcoming it, when I read a few pages, I realized that I was only browsing the book and not actually reading it. Then I stopped reading and began to meditate. I then told the Lord to give me a boon to worship Him often and live in Him, rather than always keeping my interests at the forefront of my life. As inspiration came, I wrote this song within a few minutes and sang it as my prayer for the day.
BT Song 1122: I Need a Boon
Grant me, I beseech thee,
A boon divine,
Bestow upon me
A heart that sings thy praise;
Grant me the grace
To worship thee alone,
And grant me life
To dwell forever in thy light. 1
Long have I wandered
In selfish paths,
Seeking thee only
For my own desires;
I worshipped thee
With shallow devotion,
Often forgetting
Thy presence beside me. 2
May all things unfold
According to thy will,
Grant me a life
That beats with thy desire;
Let thy divine purpose
Guide my every step,
Grant unto me
Only what thou deem’st fit. 3
I once believed
This to be devotion true,
Wearing a mask
Of false piety;
In pride, I reveled
In my hollow worship,
Deceiving myself
With vain praises sung. 4
Yet within me
Lay a discomfort,
A thorn that pierced
My longing heart;
Though I sought
To pluck it away,
It clung stubbornly,
Refusing to depart. 5
Only thou, O Lord,
Canst remove this pain,
Heal the wounds
This thorn inflicts;
Then shall I live
Solely for thee,
In steadfast devotion
Ever true. 6
It suffices
That I lived for self alone;
Grant me now
A heart enlightened by thy grace,
That I may surrender
Fully unto thee,
Grant me, O Lord,
This precious boon. 7
Mathigiri, 24-08-2019, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1122: I Need a Boon
You should give me
A boon
You should give me
A heart to praise you
I need the chance
To worship you
I need a life
To live in you 1
I lived so far
Only for myself
I came to you
For my needs
I worshipped you
Only for that
So I often
Forgot you 2
Everything should go
Well for me
I should get a life
That my heart desires
It should be your will
For me
You should do
Only that for me 3
I thought this alone
Was devotion
I put on a mask
Of a devotee
I took pride
In this kind of devotion
I deceived myself
By singing about it 4
But there was
Some discomfort
It pricked my heart
Like a thorn
Though I tried
To remove it
It refused
To leave me 5
You alone should
Remove it
You should remove
The pain it gives
Then I should live
Only for you
I should remain
True in it 6
It’s enough
That I lived for myself
You should give a heart
To realize this
Then I should give
Myself completely to you
You should give
This boon to me 7
Mathigiri, 24-08-2019, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1123
Each morning, I plan my day’s work. Then I plan my morning work. In the same way, I plan my afternoon, evening, and night work independently—sometimes even task by task. There is nothing wrong with this, but in all this, I only consider my time, my life, my interests, and my needs. Of course, I take care of my mother and do whatever work comes, but when I plan, it is mostly centered around my life. After writing the previous song, when I began to plan for the next day’s work—reading, writing, and other tasks—I became frustrated and asked the Lord when I would come out of this self-centered planning and life. I then sat for a few minutes with remorse. For an unknown reason, tears began to flow. Then I took a piece of paper and poured out my heart to the Lord through this song as my plea and prayer for help to come out of this kind of life, always thinking and planning about my life.
BT Song 1123: Tears Came
Tears began
To fall from my eyes,
All my thoughts
Centered on you. 1
I found the chance
To truly know you,
As thoughts of
“Myself” faded away. 2
I always planned
And acted solely
With self in mind,
My needs guiding. 3
I always sought
My own comfort,
Living my life
By that measure. 4
Yet there remained
An emptiness,
The peace I sought
Eluded my grasp. 5
As each day dawned,
I pondered
How to live
Through each moment. 6
Beyond this focus,
My heart resisted
Entertaining thoughts
Beyond self-interest. 7
Driven by
Its own desires,
It steered me
In its chosen direction. 8
According to
Its own plans,
It persuaded others
To comply. 9
But upon coming
To you, I understood
The errors
Of my ways. 10
Reflecting on this,
With a heavy heart,
I sought you out
To set me right. 11
Agreeing with you,
Prepared to accept
Whatever you ordain,
Tears fell as I bowed. 12
Seeking your grace,
To focus solely on you,
Banishing thoughts
Of myself. 13
Mathigiri, 24-8-2019, 11:50 p.m.
BT Song 1123: Tears Came
Tears began
To come in my eyes
All my thoughts
Were on you 1
I got the chance
To know you
As the thought of
“I” “I” went away 2
I always planned
And did things
Only thinking
About myself 3
I always thought
Only about my welfare
I tried to live
Accordingly 4
But there was
Some emptiness
The peace I sought
Refused to come 5
When each day
Dawned
How to live
This day 6
Other than
This thought
My heart refused to
Think of anything else 7
Only thinking of
Its own interest
It tried to do
Everything accordingly 8
Planning
Accordingly
It made others
Agree with it 9
But when I came
To you
I realized
The mistake 10
Thinking of this
With a broken heart
I came to you
For you to correct it 11
I agreed with you
Ready to accept whatever you do
With tears in my eyes
I bowed at your feet 12
I asked for your grace
To think only of you
Removing thoughts
of myself 13
Mathigiri, 24-8-2019, 11.50 p.m.
BT Song 1124
In our area, on the 10th day of the final rites for a deceased person, they arrange an all-night singing of devotional music. They use a loudspeaker and keep the volume very high. On the 19th, there was such a program, and I hardly slept for two hours that night. There was no point in using earplugs because if my mother called me for any need, I would not be able to hear her. Above all, keeping the earplugs in all night is an ordeal for me, as it creates pain after a few hours, preventing me from continuing to sleep. But when another such program started this night, not wanting to risk sleeplessness, I used the earplugs. I preferred to endure the pain rather than spend a sleepless night. However, even though the outside noises were blocked, I continued to hear the inner noise that my brain began to make. I then tried to calm it down and meditate. As I began to meditate, I wrote this song as my prayer to the Lord to silence the inner noise so that I could listen to His gentle voice in my spirit.
BT Song 1124: Inner Noise
The inner noise
Continues unabated,
Troubles of the world
Persist unresolved. 1
No matter how hard
I try to silence it,
The thoughts within
Refuse to cease. 2
Even as I shun
External voices,
My own inner dialogue
Echoes incessantly. 3
Grant me,
O Lord,
The ability
To hear your voice. 4
Despite my voice
Clamoring loudly,
Guard me
By closing my inner ears. 5
Though I sought
An answer,
This solace
Eludes me. 6
Understanding my plight,
Unless you speak,
No means exist
For me to hear you. 7
The inner longing
Diminishes,
But with it,
My body tires. 8
With body and mind
In discord,
I lose the way
To hear you. 9
Acknowledging
My spiritual state,
Guide me
Through this turmoil. 10
Eliminate
All internal and external noise,
Speak to me
In calm assurance. 11
Mathigiri, 21-09-2019, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1124: Inner Noise
The inner noise
Will never end
The trouble in the world
Won’t disappear by itself 1
However I try
To close both ears
I can’t stop
The thoughts in my mind 2
Though I refuse
To listen to others
I can’t avoid
Hearing my own voice 3
You should give
A change to this
You should help me
Hear your voice 4
However my voice
Makes all kinds of noise
You should protect me
By closing my inner ears 5
Though I sought
An opportunity for this
O Lord
It’s not available to me 6
Knowing my condition
Unless you come and talk to me
There is no way
For me to hear your voice 7
The inner desire
Has lessened
Along with it
The body is tired 8
As both body and
Mind refuse to cooperate
I forgot how
To hear your voice 9
Knowing the
State of my spirit
Helping me
Through that situation 10
Removing all the
Noises inside and out
You should talk to me
Calmly within 11
Mathigiri, 21-09-2019, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1125
After completing my regular readings of Muktiveda and other books, I sat silently for a few seconds. Then I said to the Lord in Tamil that I completed this day with satisfaction (Niraivu in Tamil). However, I am not sure whether satisfaction is the proper English translation. It could also mean fullness, completeness, contentment, etc. As I began to reflect upon this word, inspiration came, and I wrote this song as my thanksgiving for the way the Lord became my qualification and filled my life with completeness. There is a Tamil proverb that says: “Give alms knowing the qualification of the person” [பாத்திரம் அறிந்து பிசையிடு]. But if God were to do that, none of us would be qualified to receive anything from Him. As grace is the undeserving kindness of God, making my lack of qualification my qualification, He came into my life as completeness. Then He deserves all our praises for what He has done in our lives.
BT Song 1125: Contentment that You Bestow
I came to you
With contentment,
You are the reason for it,
I declare this. 1
In this life on earth,
With many shortcomings,
There’s no contentment
Other than you. 2
The joy from material things
Ends in mere pleasure,
Worldly satisfaction
Ends with death’s measure. 3
Emotional fulfillment
Ends in fleeting passion,
Intellectual calm
Disperses in haughty fashion. 4
No matter how numerous
These forms of gratification,
Each leads to
Some form of deprivation. 5
The enduring completeness
I seek, resides
Nowhere else
But in you. 6
I lack the credentials
To grasp it,
Yet I’m not
Dismayed by it. 7
There’s no place
For qualifications
In one who receives,
Except from one who gives. 8
Transforming my inadequacy
Into sufficiency,
You arrive as my
Ultimate Fulfillment. 9
Realizing this,
By hymning your praise,
I attain this Fulfillment
At your sacred feet. 10
Mathigiri, 23-09-2019, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1125: Contentment that You Bestow
I came to you
With contentment
You are the reason for it
I say that 1
In this life on earth
With many shortcomings
There is no contentment
Other than you 2
The satisfaction that matter gives
Ends with enjoyment
The satisfaction that the world gives
Ends with death 3
The satisfaction that the heart gives
Ends with emotions
The satisfaction that the mind gives
Disappears in pride 4
However many
These kinds of satisfactions
All end
In some emptiness 5
The permanent fullness
I seek is
Nowhere else
But in you 6
I don’t have
The qualification to receive it
But I’m not
Worried about it 7
There is no place
For qualification
For the one who receives
Other than for the one who gives 8
Changing the disqualification
To qualification
You came to me
As my Fullness 9
Thinking that
Singing your praises
I attained that Fullness
By reaching your feet 10
Mathigiri, 23-09-2019, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1121: எளிமையாக்கினாய்
எல்லாமே எளிதாக்கி
எனக்குநீ தந்தாய்
ஏனெனில் என்னிலை
நீயும் உணர்ந்தாய்
நேராகச் சொன்னாலே
புரியாத போது
மறைத்து சொன்னாமல்
தெளிவாக்கித் தந்தாய் 1
ஆழ்ந்து சிந்திக்கும்
ஆர்வமும் இல்லை
அதற்கான ஞானம்
என்னிடம் இல்லை
மேம்போக்காய்ச் சொன்னால்
புரிவதும் இல்லை
மறைத்து சொல்லிட
விளங்குவது இல்லை 2
கல்வி கேள்வியில்
தேரவும் இல்லை
கற்றிடும் ஆர்வம்
வந்ததும் இல்லை
தேடியே சென்று
கேட்டதும் இல்லை
எடுத்துச் சொன்னாலும்
புரிந்ததும் இல்லை 3
இதுபோன்ற அபலைக்கு
எதுதேவை என்று
இறங்கியே மனதில்
கருணையும் கொண்டு
சொல்லாலே கூறாமல்
செயல்மூலம் விளக்கி
உய்ந்திடும் வழியை
உவந்து காட்டினாய் 4
இறைவனின் அன்பை
எவ்விதம் காட்டினாய்
என்மனம் புரிந்திட
மரம்மீது தொங்கினாய்
செயல்மூலம் விளக்கியே
செய்து காட்டியே
மறைவான அன்பை
எளிதாக்கித் தந்தாய் 5
மறைமூலம் அறியாத
மாபெரும் பொருளை
மறைவான ஞானம்
கூறாத உண்மையை
கண்கூடாய் விளக்க
காட்சிப் பொருளாகி
என்போன்ற பேதைக்கு
எளிமை ஆகினாய் 6
இந்த எளிமை
எனக்கு புரிய
என்மனக் கண்கள்
தெளிவு அடைய
உன்னருள் எண்ணி
கண்களும் நனைய
நானும் வந்தேன்
உன்னை பணிய 7
மத்திகிரி, 19-08-2019, இரவு, 11.50
BT Song 1122: வரம் வேண்டும்
வரமொன்று எனக்கு
நீதர வேண்டும்
வாழ்த்திப் பாடும்
உளம்தர வேண்டும்
வணங்கி தொழுதிடும்
வாய்ப்பு வேண்டும்
உனக்குள் வாழ்ந்திடும்
வாழ்க்கையும் வேண்டும் 1
எனக்கென இதுவரை
நானுமே வாழ்ந்தேன்
என்தேவை பெறவேண்டி
உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
அதற்காக மட்டுமே
உன்னைநான் தொழுதேன்
அதனால் உன்னையும்
அடிக்கடி மறந்தேன் 2
எல்லாம் எனக்கு
நன்மையாய் நடக்கணும்
என்மனம் விரும்பிய
வாழ்வு கிடைக்கணும்
அதுஉன் சித்தமாய்
எனக்கு இருக்கணும்
அதையே எனக்கு
நீசெய்ய வேண்டும் 3
இதுதான் பக்தி
என்று இருந்தேன்
இதற்கென பக்தனாய்
வேடம் பூண்டேன்
இந்த பக்தியில்
பெருமிதம் கொண்டேன்
இதையே பாடி
என்னையும் ஏய்த்தேன் 4
ஆயினும் ஒருவித
நெருடல் இருந்தது
அதுஎன் மனதை
முள்ளெனத் தைத்தது
வருடிப் பார்த்து
எடுத்திட முயன்றும்
இதுவரை வந்திட
ஏனோ மறுத்தது 5
நீயே அதனை
எடுத்திட வேண்டும்
அதுதரும் வேதனை
நீங்கவும் வேண்டும்
அதன்பின் உனக்காய்
வாழ வேண்டும்
அதிலே உண்மையாய்
இருக்கவும் வேண்டும் 6
இதுவரை எனக்காக
வாழ்ந்தது போதும்
இதனை உணர்ந்திடும்
மனம்தர வேண்டும்
அதன்பின் முழுதாய்
எனைத்தர வேண்டும்
அந்த வரத்தை
நீதர வேண்டும் 7
மத்திகிரி, 24-08-2019, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1123: கண்ணீர் கசிந்தது
கண்கள் கூட
கண்ணீர் கசிந்தது
கருத்து முழுதும்
உன்மேல் இருந்தது 1
நான் நான் என்ற
எண்ணமும் நீங்க
நானுனைப் புரிந்திட
வாய்ப்பு கிடைத்தது 2
எந்த நேரமும்
என்னைப் பற்றி
சிந்தித்து சிந்தித்து
செயல்களைச் செய்தேன் 3
என்நலன் ஒன்றைப்
பற்றியே நினைத்தேன்
அதற்கு ஏற்ப
வாழ்ந்திட முயன்றேன் 4
ஆயினும் வெறுமை
அதனுள் இருந்தது
தேடிய நிம்மதி
கிடைத்திட மறுத்தது 5
ஒவ்வொரு நாளும்
பிறந்திடும் போது
இந்நாள் வாழ்வை
எப்படி வாழ்வது 6
என்கிற எண்ணம்
ஒன்றே அன்றி
என்மனம் மற்றதைக்
சிந்திக்க மறுத்தது 7
என்மனம் விரும்பும்
ஒன்றை எண்ணி
எல்லாம் செய்ய
அதுவும் முனைந்தது 8
அதற்கு ஏற்பவே
திட்டங்கள் வகுத்து
பிறரையும் அதற்கு
இணங்கிட வைத்தது 9
ஆயினும் உன்னிடம்
வந்திடும் போதும்
அதுசெய்த தவறு
எனக்கும் புரிந்தது 10
இதனை எண்ண
இதயமும் நொறுங்க
உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
நீசரி செய்ய 11
எது செய்தாலும்
சம்மதம் என்றேன்
இருவிழி கசிய
உன்னடி பணிந்தேன் 12
என்னைப் பற்றிய
சிந்தையும் நீக்கி
உன்னையே நினைக்க
அருளிடு என்றேன் 13
மத்திகிரி, 24-8-2019, இரவு, 11.50
BT Song 1124: உள்ளான ஓலம்
உள்ளான ஓலம்
ஒருநாளும் ஓயாது
உலகத்தின் அவலம்
தன்போல மறையாது 1
என்னதான் முயன்று
இருசெவி அடைத்தாலும்
எண்ணத்தின் ஓட்டத்தை
நிறுத்த இயலாது 2
பிறர்குரல் கேட்க
மறுத்த போதும்
என்குரல் கேட்காமல்
இருந்திட இயலாது 3
இதற்கொரு மாற்று
நீதர வேண்டும்
உன்குரல் கேட்க
உதவ வேண்டும் 4
என்குரல் எத்தனை
ஓல மிட்டாலும்
உள்செவி அடைத்துக்
காத்திட வேண்டும் 5
அதற்கான தருணம்
நான் தேடினாலும்
ஐயனே எனக்கு
அகப்பட வில்லை 6
என்னிலை கிறங்கி
நீவந்து பேசாமல்
உன்குரல் கேட்க
வழியெனக் கில்லை 7
உள்ளான ஆர்வம்
குறைந்து போச்சு
அத்துடன் உடலும்
தளர்ந்து போச்சு 8
உடலும் மனதும்
ஒத்துழைக்காமல்
உன்குரல் கேட்கும்
வழி மறந்தாச்சு 9
என்னாவி தன்னை
நீயும் அறிந்து
அதன்னிலை தன்னை
அதன்மூலம் உணர்ந்து 10
அகம்புறம் ஓலம்
அனைத்தையும் நீக்கி
அமைதியாய் என்னுள்
நீபேச வேண்டும் 11
மத்திகிரி, 21-09-2019, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1125: நீதரும் நிறைவு
ஒருவித நிறைவுடன்
உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
அதற்கு காரணம்
நீயெனச் சொன்னேன் 1
குறையுடன் வாழும்
மானுட வாழ்வில்
நீயன்றி நிறைவு
வேறில்லை அறிந்தேன் 2
பொருள்தரும் நிறைவு
போகத்தில் முடியும்
புகழ்தரும் நிறைவு
மரணத்தில் முடியும் 3
மனம்தரும் நிறைவு
உணர்ச்சியில் முடியும்
மதிதரும் நிறைவு
செருக்கினில் மறையும் 4
இவைபோன்ற நிறைவுகள்
எத்தனை ஆயினும்
எல்லாமே ஒருவித
வெறுமையில் முடியும் 5
நான்தேடும் நிரந்தர
நிறைவு என்பது
உன்னிட மன்றி
வேறெங்கும் இல்லை 6
அதைப்பெறும் தகுதி
எனக்கு இல்லை
ஆயினும் அதுபற்றிக்
கவலையும் இல்லை 7
தருபவர் தகுதி
நினைப்பது அன்றி
பெறுபவர் தகுதிக்கு
இடமிங்கு இல்லை 8
தகுதி இன்மையைத்
தகுதியாய் மாற்றி
நீயென் நிறைவாய்
வந்து சேர 9
அதையெண்ணி நானும்
உன்புகழ் பாடி
அடைந்தேன் நிறைவு
உன்னடி சேர்ந்து 10
மத்திகிரி, 23-09-2019, இரவு, 11.30
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