BT Song 1166
One of my favorite sadhanas is to remain silent, not talking with others for not just a few hours but even for several days. When I stayed in an ashram for several months, they gave me a remote cottage to stay in. There, I would go several days a week without talking to anyone. The watchman would come in the evening to see that I was still alive. Knowing my nature, he wouldn’t ask anything but would leave silently. Once a week, when they went to the nearby town to get provisions, I would often send the list with the driver rather than going with others. In those days, thank God, there were no mobiles or internet. We didn’t even get newspapers every day in the ashram. I spent my time reading books and sitting silently, immersed in the nature around me. During that time, I didn’t even do any artwork like cross-stitch. Those were really the best times of my life. As I recalled that experience, I wanted to do that sadhana again. But my mind is the culprit. Even if I try to keep quiet, it never allows me to do that. As I was thinking about it, I wrote this song. When I asked about it, God gave me the right answer by remaining silent, prompting me to do the same.
BT Song 1166 I Keep Quiet
I
You bade me hold my tongue in peace,
To cease the chatter and release,
For speaking much, you said, I’d lost,
In silent depths, I’d find the cost.
II
So heeding well your wise command,
I stilled my voice, let silence stand,
For days I kept my quiet state,
In thoughts of you, I would meditate.
III
Yet pondering one thing, I yearned,
To seek an answer, long discerned,
I came to you with heart sincere,
In silence, hoped your voice to hear.
IV
When words to you I did impart,
No echo came to soothe my heart,
And speaking to the world around,
No solace, no answer found.
V
I heeded not my own advice,
In silence, failed to find the price,
So even to myself, I spoke not,
In solitude, my soul was caught.
VI
Yet still my mind refused to rest,
In ceaseless chatter, never blessed,
It never ceased its constant sound,
In endless loops, my thoughts were bound.
VII
So back to you, in silence deep,
I came with questions, answers to seek,
Why burden me with restless mind?
Why keep me thus, in thoughts confined?
VIII
You left me as an object bare,
No guidance given, just despair,
To free my soul from endless plight,
No words of wisdom, just the night.
IX
In silence, then, your voice was clear,
No need for words, I sensed you near,
Your silent answer, though severe,
Brought peace and quiet, quelled my fear.
X
Thus once again, I still my tongue,
In silent worship, hymns unsung,
Your quiet answer, peace imparts,
And fills with calm my restless heart.
XI
In Mathigiri, the night serene,
I find in silence what you mean,
At eleven on this quiet eve,
In peace, your silent gift, I weave.
Mathigiri, 21-1-2020, 11:00 p.m.
BT Song 1166: I Keep Quiet
You told me to
Stay silent,
You said I lost much
By speaking too much.
So I listened
To your words,
I stayed quiet
For a few days.
Then I began
To ponder one thing,
I only came
To ask about it.
When I speak to you,
There’s no response.
When I speak to others,
It’s of no use.
I never heeded
What I told myself,
So I didn’t even talk
To myself.
But my mind
Never listened,
It never stopped
Its chatter.
So I’ve come
Again to speak to you,
I just want
To ask about it.
Since your silence
Was your reply,
I remain
Silent again.
Why did you give me
This mind needlessly?
Why did you keep me
As an object of display?
Then you started
Blaming me alone,
You never told me
How to be free from it.
As your silence
Answered me,
Again I
Keep quiet.
Mathigiri, 21-1-2020, 11:00 p.m.
BT Song 1167
What all the things that God provides, knowing my needs, not only give peace of mind but also remain conducive to my body. However, all those things which I accumulated that might be useful in the future become a burden. Though this has become a rhetorical theme in my life, I cannot escape from it.
BT Song 1167 How Do I Know
I
How do I know
What I truly need?
Only You know
My condition deep.
II
Whatever You give
As Your choice divine,
I accept with peace,
In Your will I resign.
III
The peace I find,
In Your gifts so kind,
I must declare,
In heartfelt prayer.
IV
Things I once thought
I needed so dearly,
Became burdens heavy,
Troubling me clearly.
V
As they weighed me down,
Becoming burdensome,
I sought Your grace,
To lighten my hum.
VI
Whatever You provide,
Fulfilling my needs,
Body and mind nourished,
Through Your thoughtful deeds.
VII
Living accepting Your will,
Each day becomes light,
In Your grace I dwell,
In Your presence bright.
Mathigiri, 1-2-2020, 11:00 a.m.
BT Song 1167: How Do I Know
How do I know?
What I truly need?
Only you know
My condition.
So whatever you give
According to your choice,
I should accept it
With peace of mind.
But the peace
I find in it,
I must
Tell you.
Those things
I thought I needed,
How much trouble
They caused me.
Finally, as they
Became burdensome,
I am troubled
By that burden.
Whatever you provide,
Seeing my needs,
They will become
Beneficial for both body and mind.
When I live
Accepting them,
My everyday life
Will become much lighter.
Mathigiri, 1-2-2020, 11:00 a.m.
BT Song 1168
Unlike fatalism, over which no one has control, in the will of God there is both security and peace of mind. When I think, decide, and act on my own will, there come lots of confusion and questions, resulting in the loss of peace of mind. But when I feel that I act according to the will of God, I find both security and peace of mind. This also helps me not to mind others’ comments and views about me.
BT Song 1168 Security and Peace of Mind
I
In God’s will, security dwells,
Peace of mind, where confusion swells,
When I decide, act on my own,
Questions arise, peace overthrown.
II
Acting by God’s will, I find peace,
Ignoring judgments, criticisms cease,
No longer do others’ words assail,
In God’s will, my heart prevails.
III
God’s will brings calm, doubts fade,
Acting on His word, foundations laid,
No need to heed the world’s dismay,
In His will, my soul finds its way.
IV
When I act on my own accord,
Chaos and doubts, my mind afford,
But aligning with His divine plan,
Tranquility reigns, where doubts began.
V
Others’ opinions may weigh heavy,
But in His will, I stand steady,
Not swayed by every fleeting view,
In His will, my strength renews.
VI
As a devotee, I find my peace,
In His will, my doubts release,
Following His path, my spirit free,
In this song, His grace I see.
Mathigiri, 2-2-2020, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1168 I act (I dance)
If you ask me to dance (or act) I will do that
If you ask me to stop, then I do that
I don’t have any separate desire of my own
Even if I have nothing works in that direction
You alone arranged all incidents (in life)
You put me in proper place
Then you enacted them all
In that you made me to act
Whether I sing with inner desire
Or if I act without any desire of my own
You remain a director
Who does not move much by my desire?
Forgetting you
Who enact me from behind the curtain?
Those who watched my performance in the audience
Began to comment on my act
Therefore I never had a separate
Identity of my own
The comment by the audience
Also never affected me
Therefore I will continue to act
Each day I accomplish your will
Oh my Lord I feel my security
In everyday life
Mathigiri, 2-2-2020, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1169
When there is no communication from God when I try to talk to Him, that silence is also good for us. It gives us more opportunity to remain in His presence for some more time. Abiding in His presence is more important than any kind of communication with Him.
BT Song 1169 BT Song I Will Look Unto Your Face
I
I come running, eager to speak,
Arriving, I stand silently, no words leak.
Not knowing why hesitation grips,
I silently gaze upon your face, my heart flips.
II
Thinking you might ask something of me,
Longingly, at your mouth I stare to see.
As you stand motionless, still as night,
Confusion clouds my mind, an uneasy plight.
III
Unless you initiate, I am perplexed,
Bewildered, uncertain, feeling vexed.
Unable to grasp my own situation,
No chance to speak without invitation.
IV
What to say, where to begin,
In this silence, I’m lost within.
Unless you query, no voice do I raise,
In quietude, I linger, seeking your gaze.
V
This silence, a blessing in disguise,
In your presence, my spirit does rise.
Why speak, when your face I behold?
In this moment, your grace is manifold.
VI
Seeking your face, my soul finds rest,
Content to be silent, feeling blessed.
When I have this chance to see,
Speaking seems redundant, your grace sets me free.
VII
Why should I speak when silence speaks more?
In your presence, my heart does soar.
In this quiet communion, I find peace,
Gazing upon your face, all worries cease.
VIII
You are the one I long to meet,
In silence, your presence is sweet.
In your gaze, all questions dissolve,
Finding solace in your love’s resolve.
IX
Silent moments, with you I stay,
No need for words, in your light I sway.
If you ask, I will gladly respond,
But in your presence, silence is beyond.
X
So here I stand, waiting for your voice,
In this silence, I rejoice.
Gazing upon your face so fair,
In quiet communion, I find you there.
Mathigiri, 7-2-2020, 11.30 p.m.
BT song 1169 I will look unto your face
I come running
To talk to you
After coming
I stand still not talking anything
Not knowing
For this hesitation
I silently
Look unto your face
Thinking that
You will ask me something
I looking at your
Mouth with much longing
As you stand still
Without any motion
I become confused
What happened to you?
Unless you
Ask on your own
I bewildered
Not knowing how to tell
Because I
Don’t understand my situation
There is no chance
For me to tell on my own
What to tell
And what not
From where to begin
I don’t know
Therefore unless
You ask me
There is no option
For me but to remain silent
This is also good
One way for me
Because I got
An opportunity to see your face more
When I got that
Opportunity
What is the use?
Of talking anything to you
Mathigiri, 7-2-2020, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1170
In life, we cannot avoid others’ opinions of us. At the same time, we cannot live according to the opinions of everyone. If we try to be nice to everyone, not only do our lives become pathetic but we also create problems for others. If we ignore others’ opinions, we cannot live a sober life. In such a scenario, as a bhakta, I feel that God is leading me not to dance to the tune of everyone but also not to ignore everyone. As I was thinking about one such scenario that happened recently, I wrote this song.
BT Song 1170 Lead Me
Thou leadest me,
Holding my hand.
Show me,
How I should live.
For one
Who hath no authority,
Show me clearly
This path to walk.
I ever remain
A child to all,
Accepting whatever
Anyone saith to me.
I strive not to cause
Trouble to any.
For that cause,
I bear many accusations.
They say
I am restless,
They say
I know not how to think.
I perceive
The truth in it.
I stand silently,
Having no answer for them.
This weakness of mine
Is good for me.
I reflect on
Thy grace in it.
I feel thy
Guiding hands on me,
Leading me
Without dominion.
So thou shouldst
Show me the path,
Extend thy hand
For me to walk in it.
As I walk,
Holding thy hand,
Finally, lead me
To the farthest shore.
Mathigiri, 9-2-2020, 11:15 p.m.
BT Song 1170: Lead Me
You lead me,
Holding my hand.
Show me
How I should live.
For one
Who has no authority,
Show me clearly
This path to walk.
I always remain
A child to everyone,
Accepting whatever
Anyone says to me.
I try not to cause
Trouble to anyone.
Because of that,
I bear many accusations.
They say
I am restless,
They say
I do not know how to think.
I understand
The truth in it.
I stand silently,
Having no answer for them.
This weakness of mine
Is good for me.
I reflect on
Your grace in it.
I feel your
Guiding hands on me,
Leading me
Without dominating.
So you should
Show me the path,
Extend your hand
For me to walk in it.
As I walk,
Holding your hand,
Finally, lead me
To the farthest shore.
Mathigiri, 9-2-2020, 11:15 p.m.
BT Song 1166 – பேசாமல் இருக்கேன்
பேசாமல் இருந்திடு
என்று சொன்னாய்
பேசியே இழந்தது
அதிகம் என்றாய் 1
ஆகவே நீ சொன்ன
பேச்சை கேட்டேன்
கொஞ்சநாள் பேசாமல்
இருந்து பார்த்தேன் 2
அதன்பின் ஒன்றை
நானும் எண்ணினேன்
அதை மட்டும் உன்னிடம்
கேட்க வந்தேன் 3
உன்னிடம் பேசினால்
பதிலேதும் இல்லை
ஊரோடு பேசினால்
பயனுமே இல்லை 4
என் பேச்சை நானே
கேட்பதும் இல்லை
ஆகவே என்னோடு
பேசவும் இல்லை 5
ஆயினும் என்மனம்
என் பேச்சைக் கேட்டலை
அது பேசும் பேச்சோ
என்றும் நிற்கலை 6
ஆகவே மீண்டும்
பேச வந்தேன்
அதுபற்றி உன்னிடம்
கேட்க விழைந்தேன் 7
உன் மவுனம் எனக்கு
பதிலாக வந்திட
மீண்டும் வாய்மூடிப்
பேசாமல் இருக்கேன் 8
வீணாக மனதை
ஏன் நீ தந்தாய்
வேடிக்கையாக பொருளாக
என்னையேன் வைத்தாய் 9
அதன்பின் என்மீது
குறைமட்டும் சொன்னாய்
அதை நீக்கும் வழி
சொல்ல மறுத்தாய் 10
உன் மவுனம் எனக்கு
பதிலாக வந்திட
மீண்டும் வாய்மூடிப்
பேசாமல் இருக்கேன் 11
மத்திகிரி, 21-1-2020, இரவு, 11.00
BT Song 1167 – எனக்கென்ன தெரியும்
என் தேவை எதுவென
எனக்கென்ன தெரியும்
என்னிலை உனக்கு
மட்டும் புரியும் 1
ஆகவே நீயாகத்
தந்திடும் எதையும்
அமைதியாய் நானும்
ஏற்கத்தான் வேண்டும் 2
ஆயினும் அதிலே
நான்காணும் நிம்மதி
அதை மட்டும் உன்னிடம்
சொல்லத்தான் வேண்டும் 3
என் தேவை இதுவென
எண்ணிய யாவும்
எத்தனை தொல்லைகள்
தந்தன எனக்கும் 4
இறுதியில் அவையாவும்
பாரமாய் மாற
தவித்தே போனேன்
பளுவினால் நாளும் 5
தேவையை அறிந்த நீ
தந்திடும் யாவும்
உடலுக்கும் மனதுக்கும்
உறுதுணை ஆகும் 6
அவற்றை ஏற்று
வாழ்ந்திடும் போது
அனுதின வாழ்வும்
இலகுவாய் மாறும் 7
மத்திகிரி, 1-2-2020
BT Song 1168 – ஆடுகிறேன்
ஆடச் சொன்னால் ஆடிடுவேன்
அமரச் சொன்னால் அமர்ந்திடுவேன்
எனக்கெனத் தனியொரு விருப்பம் இல்லை
இருந்தும் அதன்படி நடக்கவில்லை 1
நிகழ்வுகள் அனைத்தையும் நீ அமைத்தாய்
ஏற்ற இடத்தில் எனை வைத்தாய்
அதன்பின் அனைத்தையும் நடப்பித்தாய்
அதனுள் என்னை ஆட்டுவித்தாய் 2
விருப்பத்தோடே பாடினாலும்
விருப்பம் இன்றி ஆடினாலும்
எவ்வித சலனமும் இல்லாத
இயக்குனராக நீ இருந்தாய் 3
திரையின் மறைவில் இருந்து கொண்டு
இயக்கும் உன்னை மறந்து விட்டு
அரங்கத்தில் இருந்து ரசித்தவர்கள்
ஆடிய என்னை விமர்சித்தார் 4
ஆகவே தனியொரு அடையாளம்
எனக்கென என்றும் இருக்கவில்லை
அரங்கம் செய்த விமர்சனமும்
என்றும் என்னைப் பாதிக்கவில்லை 5
அதனால் தொடர்ந்து ஆடுகிறேன்
அனுதினம் உன் சித்தம் செய்கின்றேன்
அதனுள் எனது பாதுகாப்பை
ஐயனே நானும் உணருகிறேன் 6
மத்திகிரி, 2-2-2020, இரவு 11.00
BT Song 1169 – உன் முகம் பார்ப்பேன்
உன்னிடம் சொல்ல
ஓடி நான் வருகிறேன்
வந்தபின் ஏதும்
பேசாமல் நிற்கிறேன் 1
ஏனிந்த தயக்கம்
என்று புரியாமல்
மவுனமாய் உன் முகம்
நோக்கி பார்க்கிறேன் 2
ஏதேனும் என்னிடம்
கேட்பாய் என்று
ஏங்கி தவித்து
வாய்பார்த்து நிற்கிறேன் 3
எவ்வித அசைவும்
இல்லாது நீ நிற்க
என்னாச்சு என்று
குழம்பி தவிக்கிறேன் 4
ஆயினும் நீயாகக்
கேட்காத வரையிலே
சொல்ல வழியின்றி
என்னுள்ளே திகைக்கிறேன் 5
ஏனென்றால் என்நிலை
எனக்கு புரியலை
நானாகச் சொல்ல
எனக்கு வழியில்லை 6
எதைச்சொல்ல எதைவிட
என்பதும் புரியலை
எங்கிருந்து தொடங்க
என்பதும் தெரியலை 7
ஆகவே நீயாகக்
கேட்காத வரையிலே
வாய்மூடி நிற்பதைத்
தவிர வேறு வழியிலை 8
இதுவும் ஒருவிதம்
எனக்கும் நல்லது
ஏனென்றால் உன் முகம்
நோக்கும் வாய்ப்பது 9
அந்த பேறு
கிடைத்திடும் போது
வீணாகப் பேசத்
தேவையும் ஏது 10
மத்திகிரி, 7-2-2020, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1170 – கரம் பிடித்து நடத்து
என் கரம் பிடித்து
நீயும் நடத்து
எப்படி வாழணும்
என்பதைக் காட்டு 1
எவ்வித அதிகாரம்
இல்லாத எனக்கு
இதுதான் வழியெனத்
தெளிவாகக் காட்டு 2
எடுப்பார் பிள்ளையாய்
எப்போதும் இருக்கேன்
எவர்எதைச் சொல்லினும்
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அவர்மனம் நோகாமல்
இருந்திட முயன்றேன்
அதனால் பலவித
பழிகளும் சுமந்தேன் 4
சஞ்சலம் கொண்டவன்
என்று சொன்னார்
சரியாய் சிந்திக்கத்
தெரியலை என்றார் 5
அதிலுள்ள உண்மையை
நானும் உணர்ந்தேன்
அதற்கு பதிலின்றி
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என் இந்த பலவீனம்
நல்லது என்பேன்
அதனால் கிடைக்கும்
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என்னையும் மீறி
ஆட்கொண்டு நடத்தும்
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ஆகவே நீதான்
வழியும் காட்டணும்
அதனில் நடக்கக்
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அதனைப் பற்றி
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இறுதியில் நீதான்
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மத்திகிரி, 9-2-2020, இரவு, 11.15
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