BT Song 1216
Though I know from my past experience that whatever God provides is the best for my life, I still long to have things as I like. Of course, I pay lip service, saying that I am ready to accept whatever He provides. At the same time, my rebellious heart refuses to accept that decision. As the Lord has lived with me all these years, knowing this nature of mine, He deals with me like a mother who gives medicine mixed with honey. This is not only good for me but also another opportunity for Him to correct me or escape from my pestering.
BT Song 1216: An Opportunity for You
Simple English Version
Whatever you give on your own
It is good for me
When I seek on my own
Then it becomes a problem for me
Though I know
The contradiction in this
Still, my heart is
Seeking whatever I want
Though I know
The reason for this
My heart
Refuses to accept it
If I count all the things
Which you bestowed on me
Not even one has
Any defect in it
Though I confess that
Whatever you
Give is
Agreeable to me
When the crude heart
Prevents it
I stumble
What can I do?
However, my heart
Refuses to accept
You alone should change it
So that it will accept it
Like the mother
Who gives medicine mixed with honey
Knowing my situation
You should act
What can I do?
This became my nature
What is there to lament
This became my habit
This also
Became an opportunity for you
Who lived
All these years with me
Therefore not
Missing this opportunity
If you help me on your own
That will be beneficial to me
Mathigiri, 12-07-2020, 10.00 p.m.
BT Song 1216: An Opportunity for Thee
Classical English Version
Whate’er thou giv’st of thine own accord,
Is naught but good for me, my Lord.
Yet when I seek by mine own hand,
A problem rises, hard to withstand.
Though I know this contradiction well,
Still my heart doth yearn and swell,
Seeking all that I desire,
Caught in the throes of inner fire.
Though the reason I comprehend,
My heart doth stubbornly defend,
Refusing to accept the truth,
Clinging to its wayward youth.
If I recount all thou hast given,
Blessings manifold, from heaven,
Not a single gift dost lack,
In perfection, none dost turn back.
Though I admit with humbled tone,
Whate’er thou giv’st, I call mine own,
Agreeable to my soul’s core,
Yet still I yearn for something more.
When my crude heart doth intervene,
Causing stumble, making unseen,
What can I do in such a plight?
But lament my lack of might.
Yet my heart doth still refuse,
To accept what thou dost choose,
Thou alone canst change its will,
That acceptance may it fill.
As a mother with honey sweet,
Doth mix the bitter medicine’s treat,
Knowing my condition, dear,
Act thou, removing fear.
What can I do? It is my way,
Nature’s habit, here to stay,
Why lament this fate of mine?
Change it, Lord, with touch divine.
This too, an opportunity grand,
For thee, who by me dost stand,
All these years, through thick and thin,
Help me now, let change begin.
Thus, not missing this chance rare,
Help thou, with tender care,
Thy aid given freely to me,
Will be of greatest benefit, truly.
Mathigiri, 12-07-2020, 10.00 p.m.
BT Song 1217
After reading another discussion between the concepts of avatara and Incarnation, I began to contemplate the subject and wrote this song. As a Hindu, I somehow understand the concept of avatara, but the English word “Incarnation” still remains elusive to me. Though several other translations like “God enfleshed” try to communicate the concept, I am not sure whether I fully grasp the nature of Incarnation. Even though we are familiar with the word avatara, it also has its own complex interpretations. Any word in any language, however much it tries to communicate the concepts about God, atman, or the world (prakruti), has its own limitations. Understanding not only my limitations but also the limitations of language, it is better for me to live with the mystic experience of God’s revelation in my atman than to try to comprehend or communicate it. That will be the only good solution for me.
The questions in Tamil, ‘தெய்வீக மனிதனா? மனிதருள் தெய்வமா?’ are difficult for me to translate into English, though I translated them as ‘divinely human and divine among humans.’ As most of us are familiar with the controversies about the ‘divine’ and ‘human’ concepts regarding the Lord, we can understand it even though I fail to translate it properly.
I changed ‘divine among humans’ to ‘human god’ as per the suggestion of Dr. Hoefer, who knows Tamil in English.
BT Song 1217: Good for Me
Simple English Version
When they say things I can’t understand,
What’s the use of telling me more?
All the words my mind grasps are defeated,
Better show me the way clearly.
To understand you, who came to seek us,
They spoke in their own language.
After realizing the limits of words,
What’s the use of searching for more to say?
Though they say you are God,
I can’t understand, never having seen God.
Once you came in a human body,
There’s no way to understand God.
Are you a divine human? Or a human god?
Are you God? Or human? For all these questions,
How can humans answer,
When they don’t know their own condition?
Who can give an answer to this?
Not knowing, I was confused.
Beyond all words, silently,
You came into my heart and ruled.
Without needing further questions,
Without needing more answers,
Without explaining what my heart understood,
Living alone is good for me.
Mathigiri, 12-07-2020, 11.15 p.m.
BT Song 1217: Good for Me
Classical English Version
When they speak in terms beyond my grasp,
What use in words that fail to clasp?
All the thoughts my mind did meet,
Are defeated, show the path complete.
To understand thee, who sought our kin,
They spoke in tongues their minds were in.
Seeing the limits of language plain,
What use in searching words in vain?
Though they declare thou art divine,
I cannot grasp, having seen no sign.
Once thou came in human guise,
No way to comprehend in disguise.
Art thou a divine human or human god?
Art thou God or man, by the odds?
How can humans answers impart,
When knowing not their own heart?
Who can an answer provide for this?
In my confusion, naught but abyss.
Beyond all speech, in silent claim,
Thou ruled my heart with quiet flame.
No need for questions further pressed,
No need for answers, all suppressed.
Without explaining what heart doth see,
Living alone is good for me.
Mathigiri, 12-07-2020, 11.15 p.m.
BT Song 1218
I am reading about various Vaishnavite poets of India. When I read about them, there are so many saints that most Indians do not know about. A few became popular, like Purandara Dasa, Kanakadasa, Anamaya, Tukaram, Eknath, Narasi Mehta, and Meera. But one common theme among them is that they never tried to project or promote themselves through their bhakti poems. All their sadhana began as a personal (sometimes private) relationship with their chosen deity and spontaneously expressed their bhakti through several poems. Later, some of them became very famous and popular as their disciples used their poems to promote their bhakti among common people. However, in their personal lives, they were happy to remain unknown bhaktas immersed in their bhakti in the Lord.
This is a mark of true bhakti. It celebrates that personal and intimate relationship with Bhagavan. Though most of them lived a normal life among the people, their bhakti helped them enjoy the presence of God amidst their normal activities in life. Just as a cow recognizes its calf even among thousands of herds, God too reached them, recognizing their bhakti. In many cases, their contemporaries never recognized them, and those saints found no need for it. As I was thinking about this, I wrote this song.
BT Song 1218: There is No Need
Simple English Version
There is nothing
To tell to the world
There is no need
For the world to understand
There is no means
To understand your relationship
With those devotees
Who sought your fellowship
Like the cow
That runs
When its calf
Calls amidst a herd
Though millions
Live on this earth
When your devotees call
You rush to reach them
Carrying you
In their hearts
Bowing to you
With folded hands
When they live
Only remembering you
What is the need
For the world to recognize them
In this life
As humans
When we depend on
Each other in life
When one thinks
Only of you
Then the soul
Seeks solitude
When the soul
Drowns in that solitude
And begins
To enjoy the bliss
Without having
Any words to share it
Without any
Need for that
Living this life with others
That you have given them
Each day rejoicing in you
Once they are established in you
Others do not
Understand it
And there is no
Need for them to
Mathigiri, 18-07-2020, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1218: There is No Need
Classical English Version
There is naught
To tell the world
There is no need
For the world to heed
No means there be
To comprehend thy bond
With those devout souls
Who seek thy fellowship fond
Like the cow
That swiftly runs
When its calf
Calls amid the herd
Though millions
Upon this earth reside
When thy devotees call
To them thou dost swiftly glide
Bearing thee
Within their hearts
Bowing down
With folded hands
Living in constant
Remembrance of thee
What need hath the world
To acknowledge their plea?
In this mortal life
As human beings
When we rely
On each other for life
When one’s mind
Turns solely to thee
Then the soul
Yearns for solitude
When the soul
In that solitude drowns
And begins
To savor the bliss
Without having
Words to share
Without any
Need for such
Living this life with others
As thou hast given them
Each day rejoicing in thee
Once they are established in thee
Others do not
Comprehend it
And there is no
Need for them to
Mathigiri, 18-07-2020, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1219
Despite the way God has delivered me from many frustrations in life, and though I often think about them, my mind still gets agitated when I face similar situations, which is often frustrating for me. However, this frustration (chanchal) helps me in one way. It exposes my impatience despite my deep bhakti in the Lord and helps me to keep in touch with the Lord all the time. So, whether I receive the solution I desire or not, the relationship I have with the Lord alone remains the permanent solution for me.
BT Song 1219: Guide Me
Simple English Version
When I am confused
Not knowing the solution
You guide me
By showing the clear path
When I am troubled
Not knowing what to do
Holding my hands
You accomplish things
When my heart is troubled
Due to frustration
Becoming the anchor
You stabilize it
When I think
About the future
You come
As the answer for that
When similar
Situations happened before
I remember the way
You helped me
In the same way
You will help again
This alone you
Often remind me
No matter how much
Devotion I have
I always
Bow at your feet
When I struggle
With my wavering mind
You come and
Calm it
But even this
Frustration
Helps me
In one way
Bringing me often
To your presence
It strips me
To show my true nature
It is good
For me that
Everything does not
Always go well in life
It helps me
Maintain my
Relationship with you
Not severed often
Therefore my relationship
With you
Remains the
Permanent solution for me
Mathigiri, 27-7-2020, 10.30 p.m.
BT Song 1219: Guide Me
When I am bewildered,
Not knowing the solution,
Thou dost guide me,
By showing the clear path.
When I am troubled,
Not knowing what to do,
Holding my hands,
Thou dost accomplish all.
When my heart is troubled,
Due to frustration,
Becoming the anchor,
Thou dost stabilize it.
When I ponder
About the future,
Thou dost come
As the answer.
When similar
Situations came before,
I remember the way
Thou didst help me.
In the same manner,
Thou wilt help again,
This alone thou dost
Often remind me.
No matter how much
Devotion I possess,
I always
Bow at thy feet.
When I struggle
With my wavering mind,
Thou dost come
And calm it.
But even this
Frustration
Helps me
In one way.
Bringing me oft
To thy presence,
It strips me
To reveal my true nature.
It is good
For me that
Everything doth not
Always go well in life.
It helps me
Maintain my
Bond with thee,
Not severed oft.
Thus my relationship
With thee
Remains the
Permanent solution for me.
Mathigiri, 27-7-2020, 10.30 p.m.
BT Song 1220
We can understand others’ lack of understanding of our nature. But how can God remain like this? When I seek answers to certain issues in life, I don’t get any response from Him. Of course, I don’t seek a response in the form of a vision, nor do I claim that God spoke to me in my mind or spirit or gave me a particular verse from the Muktiveda. I always see that He allows or arranges circumstances as His answer to my questions in life. But when I seek some response and life goes on as usual without any change, the circumstances remain the same. There is no point in sharing certain issues with others. So, as usual, I have to complain only to Him, as He remains deaf to my pleas.
BT Song 1220: I Will Receive if I Cry
Simple English Version
There is no
Means for me on this earth
Other than to cry
Unto you
There is no point
In telling the world
And if we ask
There is no response from relatives
Who can do anything?
As all have their own troubles
They are all
Just human beings
Each one’s trouble
Is big enough
What’s the use?
Telling them
Are they one or two?
Which one to tell
About all the
Troubles on this earth
On one side
Body and mind pressure
On the other side
Relatives and others pressure
If one becomes
Like the ant caught between two fires
Where is the way
To escape
Surely you have
Some kind of answer
But when you
Refuse to give
There is no use
Even after asking several times
But I will not
Let you go so easily
Therefore I
Come again unto you
I thought I could get
If I began to cry
Did you hear
My sobs?
Or did you sleep?
Better give your answer
Mathigiri, 29-7-2020, 6.30 p.m.
Classical English Version
BT Song 1220: I Will Receive if I Cry
Classical English Version
There is naught
On this earth for me
Save to cry
Unto thee
No point
In telling the world
No response
From kin unfurled
Who can do aught?
All beset by troubles
Mere mortals
In their own bubbles
Each one’s plight
Is vast in might
What’s the worth?
To tell their plight
Are they one or two?
Whom to confide
Of all the pains
In this world wide
Body and mind
Press from one side
Kin and kith
Press from outside
Like an ant
Caught ‘twixt fires
Where is the path
To escape desires
Surely thou hast
Some answer pure
Yet when thou dost
Refuse, unsure
No use
After asking, crying
Yet I won’t
Let thee go, defying
Thus I return
To thee once more
Hoping to gain
Through tears that pour
Heard thou
My sobs near?
Or didst thou sleep?
Grant me an answer, clear
Mathigiri, 29-7-2020, 6.30 p.m.
BT Song 1216 உனக்கொரு வாய்ப்பு
நீயாகத் தருவது
நலமாக இருக்குது
நான்தேடும் போது
தீங்காக்கிப் போகுது 1
இதிலுள்ள முரண்பாடு
நன்றாகப் புரிந்தாலும்
நான்தேடும் ஒன்றையே
என்மனம் நாடுது 2
இதற்கான காரணம்
எனக்குமே புரிந்தாலும்
அதையேற்க என்மனம்
ஏனோ மறுக்குது 3
இதுவரை நீதந்த
அனைத்தையும் எண்ணிட
ஒன்றுமே பழுதில்லை
என்பது தெரிந்தும் 4
எதைநீ தந்தாலும்
எனக்கது சம்மதம்
என்றுமே நானும்
சொல்லிய போதும் 5
திருக்குள்ள என்மனம்
தடுக்கின்ற போது
தடுமாறிப் போகிறேன்
நீவழி காட்டணும் 6
என்னதான் என்மனம்
எப்படி மறுத்தாலும்
ஏற்றிடும் வண்ணமாய்
நீயுமே மாற்றணும் 7
தேனுடன் மருந்தைக்
குழைத்தூட்டும் தாய்போல்
என்னிலை புரிந்து
நீயுமே செய்யணும் 8
நானென்ன செய்யட்டும்
என்னியல் பிதுவாச்சு
புலம்பி என்செய்ய
பழகியே போச்சு 9
இதுவரை என்னோடு
உறவாடிப் பழகியே
வாழ்ந்த உனக்கு
இதுஒரு வாய்ப்பாச்சு 10
ஆகவே அதைநீ
தவற விடாமல்
நீயாகத் தந்து
உதவினால் நலமாச்சு 11
மத்திகிரி, BT Song 12-07-2020, இரவு, 10.00
BT Song 1217 எனக்கு நல்லது
எப்படிச் சொன்னாலும் புரியாத போது
இனிச்சொல்லிப் பயனென்ன நீயதைச் சொல்லு
அறிவுக்குப் புரிந்திடும் அனைத்துச் சொற்களும்
தோற்றபின் என்செய நீ வழிகாட்டு 1
தேடி வந்தநீ யாரெனத் தெரிந்திட
தெரிந்த மொழிகொண்டு எடுத்துமே சொன்னார்
சொல்லுக்கும் மொழிக்குள்ள எல்லை புரிந்தபின்
சொற்களைத் தேடியே பயனென்ன சொல்லு 2
தெய்வம்நீ என்றுதான் சொல்லிய போதிலும்
தெய்வத்தைக் காணாத எனக்கது புரியது
தேகத்தில் வந்ததால் மனிதன்நீ என்பதால்
தெய்வத்தை அறிந்திடும் வழியற்றுப் போனது 3
தெய்வீக மனிதனா? மனிதருள் தெய்வமா?
தெய்வமா? மனிதனா? என்கின்ற கேள்விக்கு
எவ்வித பதிலை மனிதரும் தருவது
தன்னிலை தெரியாது அவர் வாழும்போது 4
இதற்கொரு விடையை எவர்தரக் கூடும்
என்பதும் தெரியாமல் தவித்திடும் போது
மொழிகளைக் கடந்து மவுனமாய் வந்துநீ
மனதினுள் குடியேறி ஆட்கொள்ளும் போது 5
இனியொரு கேள்விக்கு இடமுமே இல்லாமல்
அதற்கான பதிலும் தேவையும் இல்லாமல்
என்மனம் புரிந்ததை எடுத்துமே சொல்லாமல்
இனிநான் வாழ்வதே எனக்குமே நல்லது 6
மத்திகிரி, BT Song 12-07-2020, இரவு 11.15
BT Song 1218 அவசியம் இல்லை
ஊருக்குச் சொல்ல
ஏதுமே இல்லை
உலகும் புரிந்திட
அவசியம் இல்லை 1
உன்னையே நாடும்
அடியவரோடு
உனக்குள்ள உறவை
அறிந்திட வழியில்லை 2
கூடியே மேயினும்
கன்றுமே அழைக்க
தேடியே ஓடும்
பசுவினைப் போல 3
கோடி கோடியாய்
மாந்தர்கள் வாழினும்
அடியவர் அழைக்க
விரைந்துமே வருவாய் 4
இதயத்தில் உன்னை
சுமந்துமேக் கொண்டு
இருகரம் கூப்பி
தொழுதுமே கொண்டு 5
உன்னையே எண்ணி
வாழ்ந்திடும் போது
உலகுக்குத் தெரிய
தேவையும் ஏது 6
கூடியே வாழும்
மானுட வாழ்வில்
ஒருவரை ஒருவர்
சார்ந்திடும் போது 7
அதனிடை உன்னை
எண்ணிடும் போது
தனிமையை மட்டுமே
நாடிடும் ஆன்மா 8
அந்தத் தனிமை
தந்திடும் இனிமை
அதனுள் மூழ்கி
திளைத்திடும் ஆன்மா 9
அதனைச் சொல்ல
வார்த்தையும் இன்றி
அதற்கு அவசியம்
ஏதுமே இன்றி 10
நீதந்த வாழ்வை
பிறருடன் வாழ்ந்து
நித்தமும் மகிழ்ந்து
உன்னுளே நிலைத்தபின் 11
அதனை அடுத்தவர்
புரிவதும் இல்லை
அதற்கு அவசியம்
ஏதுமே இல்லை 12
மத்திகிரி, 18-07-2020, இரவு, 11.00
BT Song 1219 வழிகாட்டு
தீர்வு தெரியாது
திகைத்திடும் போது
தெளிவாக நீவந்து
வழிகாட்டி நில்லு 1
செய்வதறியாது
கலங்கிடும் போது
கரம்பற்றி நீயுமே
காரியம் நடத்து 2
சஞ்சலம் கொண்டு
மனதுமே தவிக்கையில்
நங்கூரம் ஆகி
நீயுமே நிறுத்து 3
நாளைக் குறித்து
எண்ணிடும் போது
நீவந்து அதற்கு
பதிலாக நில்லு 4
இதுபோல சூழல்
முன்வந்த போது
நீசெய்த நன்மையை
நானுமே நினைத்து 5
அதுபோல நீயும்
செய்வாய் என்பதை
அடிக்கடி நீயும்
நினைவும் படுத்து 6
என்னதான் பக்தி
எனக்கிருந்தாலும்
எப்போதும் உன்னடி
பணிந்திருந்தாலும் 7
அலைமோதும் மனதோடு
போராடும் போது
அதைமட்டும் நீயும்
அமைதியும் படுத்து 8
ஆனாலும் மனதின்
சஞ்சலம் கூட
ஒருவிதம் எனக்கு
நன்மையும் செய்யுது 9
அடிக்கடி உன்னிடம்
கொண்டுமே நிறுத்தி
அடிமையின் குணத்தை
உரித்துமே காட்டுது 10
எப்போதும் எல்லாமே
நன்றாக நடக்காமல்
இருப்பதும் ஒருவிதம்
எனக்குமே நல்லது 11
அதனாலே உன்னோடு
நான்கொண்ட தொடர்பு
அறுக்காமல் அதுவும்
நன்கு காக்குது 12
ஆகவே உன்னோடு
நான்கொண்ட உறவு
நிரந்தரத் தீர்வாய்
என்றுமே உள்ளது 13
மத்திகிரி, 27-7-2020, இரவு, 10.30
BT Song 1220 அழுதே பெறுவேன்
உன்னிடம் சொல்லி
அழுவது அன்றி
உலகினில் வேறு
வழியெனக் கில்லை 1
ஊரிடம் சொல்லிப்
பயனுமே இல்லை
உறவிடம் கேட்டால்
பதிலுமே இல்லை 2
பாடுள்ள மாந்தர்
யாறென்ன செய்வார்
பாவம் அவரும்
மனிதர் தானே 3
அவரவர் பாடே
பெரும்பாடானால்
அவரிடம் சொல்லிப்
பயனுமே என்ன 4
ஒன்றா இரண்டா
எதனைச் சொல்ல
உலகில் உள்ள
பாடுகள் அதனை 5
உடலும் மனமும்
ஒருபுறம் இறுக்க
ஊரும் உறவும்
மறுபுறம் நெருக்க 6
இருதலைக் கொள்ளி
எறும்பென ஆனால்
மீண்டு செல்ல
வழியுமே என்ன 7
உன்னிடம் நிச்சயம்
விடையும் இருக்க
நீயதைத் தந்திட
ஏனோ மறுக்க 8
பலமுறை கேட்டும்
பயனே இல்லை
ஆனால் உன்னை
விடுவதாய் இல்லை 9
ஆகவே நானும்
மீண்டும் வந்தேன்
அழுதால் பெறலாம்
என்று நினைத்தேன் 10
தேம்பும் என்குரல்
ஏறுதா செவியில்
தூங்கி விட்டாயோ
தாஉன் பதிலை 11
மத்திகிரி, 29-7-2020, காலை 6.30
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