BT Song 1256
Again, this is a tussle between me and God. He should know my limitations and not push me beyond what I can do. As I struggled with posting on my blog and was unable to understand the new features they upgraded, I felt frustrated about why He expects me to keep pace with the modern world instead of allowing me to live within my limitations. To vent my frustration, I wrote this song.
When the girl who helped me create this new email group was with me, I told her that only the devil invented computers and other gadgets, including the internet. She refused to accept this and rebuked me for my view. I even said that God doesn’t have a smartphone. When she asked how I knew, I replied that He created every good thing or inspired others to create them.
In my personal view, when God placed the mandali (church) in the world as a witness, the devil introduced the world into the church to corrupt it. The same goes for gadgets and the internet. I lived innocently without these kinds of equipment. I often think back to my school days, when we lived happily with just a pencil and notebook. I only got a pencil and notebook in the fourth grade. Until I completed fifth grade, I didn’t even have a pen. It was only in high school that I got a pen for the first time—a wooden pen with a nib that had to be dipped in an ink bottle to write in my notes. But we really enjoyed that life. What’s the use of lamenting about those golden days, though?
BT Song 1256 Why Demand Too Much
Simple English
You are asking
For something I don’t have.
When I offer what I can,
You refuse to be satisfied.
This has become
Your usual way.
Now my situation
Is very sad indeed.
You made me
An empty vessel.
You fill me only
With what you want.
What you have filled
Is what I can return.
I am just an empty vessel;
What else can I give?
You shaped me
As you desire.
You filled me only
With what I deserve.
What can this clay
Possibly offer more?
When I ask for answers,
Why do you get upset?
You alone have
All the rights.
Every authority
Is in your hands.
I am just a slave
Doing all the tasks.
You should first
Notice this truth.
I will do
Only what you command.
I can return
What I have to give.
If you ask for more,
I will show my empty hands.
Mathigiri, 31-03-2021, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1256 Why Demand Too Much
Classical English
Thou askest
For what I cannot possess;
When I present what I own,
Thou art not content with this.
This hath become
Thy customary way;
Thus my plight
Hath grown most woeful.
Thou didst create me
As an empty vessel,
Filling it solely
With thy desires.
What thou hast filled
Is all I can return;
I am but an empty vessel;
What more can I render?
Thou didst mold me
According to thy will,
Filling me only
With that which I merit.
What can this clay
Offer beyond this?
When I seek an account,
Why dost thou become troubled?
Thou alone holdest
All rights divine;
Every authority
Rests solely in thy grasp.
I am but a servant,
Performing all thy errands;
Thou shouldst first
Perceive this truth.
I shall do
Only what thou dost command.
I can return
What I possess.
If thou demandest more,
I shall reveal my empty hands.
Mathigiri, 31-03-2021, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1257
As I reflected on the relationship between the bhakta and bhagavan, a famous line from a Hindi Arati song came to mind, which clearly portrays that relationship: “My body, mind, and wealth are all yours, O Lord; everything belongs to you. I offer to you what is yours only, and what it will cost me.” Once I grasped that blessed relationship, why would I need any special rights with Him?
BT Song 1257 No Way to Complain
Simple English
Once you become the giver,
Where is the chance for me to complain?
Once I become the receiver,
Will there be any hurdle to accept from you?
You have the duty to provide for me,
I have the right to receive.
When both these things happen,
Do others have the courage to interfere?
As the Master, you will oversee me,
You will act with great responsibility.
To all the people seeking your rule,
You will meet their needs each day.
Once the rule is yours,
I gain the blessed chance to live in it.
As each day passes without trouble,
I will become your slave, Oh my Master!
Beyond this Master-slave bond,
Oh my Lord, as I think of our relationship,
My heart melts, and tears flow,
I thank you for this blessed status.
Once you began to rule over me,
I have nothing to give back to you.
Since all rights belong to you,
I need not return anything specifically.
Can I return what already belongs to you?
Can I claim any rights of my own?
It is enough for me to live in your shadow;
Why should I need separate rights for myself?
Mathigiri, 2-4-2021, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1257 No Way to Complain
Classical English
Once thou dost become the bestower,
Where is the chance for me to voice complaint?
Once I become the recipient,
Will there arise any hindrance to receive from thee?
Thou hast the duty to provide for me,
I hold the right to receive.
When these two matters are fulfilled,
Do others possess the courage to intrude?
As the Master, thou dost govern me,
Thou shalt act with utmost responsibility.
To all the subjects seeking thy rule,
Thou wilt meet their needs each day.
Once the rule is thine,
I receive the blessed chance to dwell therein.
As each day passes without strife,
I shall become a slave to thee, Oh my Master!
Beyond this bond of Master and slave,
Oh my Lord, as I ponder our relationship,
My heart melts, and tears cascade,
I thank thee for this blessed state.
Once thou didst begin to govern me,
I possess naught to return unto thee.
Since all rights reside with thee,
I need not render anything in particular.
Can I return what already belongs to thee?
Shall I claim any rights as my own?
It sufficeth for me to dwell beneath thy shadow;
Why should I seek separate rights for myself?
Mathigiri, 2-4-2021, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1258
For me, the message of the Resurrection is not just a demonstration of God’s power in the past or a portrayal of our blessed hope for the future, but rather what it means in the present while living in this mortal body. My bhakti helps me enjoy my relationship with Him in everyday life, trusting His power and living with faith for the blessed hope despite the ailments and issues related to this mortal body.
BT Song 1258You Are Resurrected
Simple English
You have truly
Risen again;
You redeemed
This world.
You have broken
The sting of death
And paved the way
For humanity to live.
This body
Will perish;
It will vanish
Without leaving a trace.
You changed
The law of nature
By rising
From the dead.
A day will come
For us to receive
That blessed status,
Full of grace.
Until that time,
Our mortal bodies
Will perish
And return to dust.
On the final day,
Raising us from death,
You will provide
A new body.
In that body,
Receiving your image,
We will live
Together with you.
Until that day,
Grant us a bond
That will never
Separate us from you.
Though many troubles
May come our way
In this body,
We will stand strong.
Mathigiri, 4-4-2021, 10.30 p.m.
BT Song 1258You Are Resurrected
Classical English
Thou hast indeed
Risen from the grave;
Thou hast redeemed
This earthly realm.
Thou hast shattered
The sting of death
And paved the path
For humankind to live.
This body
Shall surely perish;
It shall fade
Without a trace.
Thou hast altered
This natural law
By rising
From the dead.
A day shall come
For us to inherit
That blessed state,
Full of grace.
Until that hour,
Our mortal frames
Shall fade away
And return to dust.
Upon the final day,
Raising us from death,
Thou wilt bestow
A new body.
In that body,
Receiving thy likeness,
We shall dwell
Together with thee.
Until that day,
Grant us a bond
That shall never
Separate us from thee.
Though many trials
May arise in this life,
In this body,
We shall remain steadfast.
Mathigiri, 4-4-2021, 10.30 p.m.
BT Song 1259
This song is another reflection on my present life. I live each day by the grace of God, yet without fully understanding my life. I know that what I understand about myself is very little and often incorrect. I cannot blame God or others for this, nor am I responsible for this nature. However, as the Lord redeemed me, He alone now has the responsibility to help me understand the life I live in Him. So, as usual, I kicked the ball into His court and stood still for Him to play the rest of the game.
BT Song 1259It Is Good Only for You
Simple English
Help me to understand
As I live without clarity.
Once I gain insight,
Grant me grace to act wisely.
Whatever may be the
Result of my actions,
Give me maturity
To accept it fully.
What I know of myself
Is very little, this I see.
Even in this,
I am not complete.
This is one way
That is good for me,
For the responsibility
Is not entirely mine.
I do not blame you,
Who created me.
I find no fault
In those who raised me.
Yet why does this
Nature dwell within me?
But I am not to blame,
This I know for sure.
In the end,
I cannot blame anyone.
Still, the responsibility
Rests solely with you.
For once you became
My redeemer,
To whom can I go
To voice my complaints?
This has become
Very clear to me now.
Even this clarity
Is taught by you.
So when I seek
Any kind of answer,
It has become my habit
To come to you.
This is what
I am doing now.
As I live without understanding,
I ask you to help me.
What more can I do?
More than this,
Understanding this
Is only good for you.
Mathigiri, 11-4-2021, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1259It Is Good Only for You
Classical English
It Is Good Only for You
Assist me in understanding
As I dwell in ignorance.
Once I gain insight,
Bestow thy grace to act rightly.
Whatever may be the
Consequences of my deeds,
Grant me maturity
To accept them with grace.
What I know of myself
Is but a fleeting glimpse;
Even in this
I am not whole.
This is one way
That proves good for me,
For the burden of duty
Is not solely mine.
I lay no blame on thee,
Who fashioned me so.
I find no fault
In those who nurtured me.
Yet why does this
Nature dwell within my heart?
But I bear no guilt,
This I know indeed.
At last, I cannot blame
Any soul for this plight.
Yet still, the responsibility
Lies only with thee.
For once thou didst become
My redeemer,
To whom shall I turn
To air my grievances?
This has grown
Most clear to me now.
Even this clarity
Is imparted by thee.
Thus when I seek
Any kind of answer,
It hath become my habit
To draw near to thee.
This is what
I am now undertaking.
As I live devoid of understanding,
I implore thy assistance.
What more can I do?
Beyond this,
Understanding this truth
Is solely good for thee.
Mathigiri, 11-4-2021, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1260
For the past three days, I haven’t been able to sleep properly, both day and night. Apart from the usual problems with dogs and noise pollution, there is some kind of inner struggle that I cannot articulate. So, I took my struggle to the Lord, which I find difficult to express. I handed over the responsibility of granting me the peace I seek, so that I am not wounded in my struggle with the world, my mind, or even with Him.
BT Song 1260Good for You
Simple English
When I struggle
With the world and my heart,
Is there any
Benefit in this? Please tell me.
But when I struggle
Only with you,
There are many benefits;
You notice them first.
When I struggle
With both the world and my mind,
Both of us
End up getting hurt.
When we are both
Affected by this,
Who will come
To help us? Please say.
Though I receive
So many wounds
In my struggle
With you, I know.
Remember that
Healing the wounds
And applying balm
Is your responsibility; think of that.
Therefore, when I
Come to wrestle
With you for no reason,
It’s better you stay away!
In the end,
I will not receive
Any kind of harm;
Remember that well.
What can I say to you?
More clearly than this,
Since you were
Already wounded for me.
Remembering that
You have already
Experienced that pain,
You cannot inflict pain on me again.
It’s better you give
The peace
That I seek
Freely to me.
Mathigiri, 3-05-2021, 5.30 am.
BT Song 1260Good for You
Classical English
When I do battle
With the world and my heart,
Is there any
Benefit therein? Pray tell.
Yet when I struggle
Only with thee,
There are many blessings;
Thou dost notice them first.
When I contend
With both world and mind,
Both of us
Suffer wounds untold.
When we are both
Affected by this strife,
Who shall come
To offer aid? Speak now.
Though I bear
Many wounds
In my struggle
With thee, I perceive.
Remember this:
To heal the wounds
And apply the balm
Is thine own duty; reflect upon it.
Thus, when I
Come to wrestle
With thee in vain,
It would be better for thee to withdraw!
In the end,
I shall not receive
Any form of harm;
Bear this in mind.
What can I say to thee?
More clearly than this,
Since thou art
Already wounded for me.
Remembering that
Thou hast already
Endured such pain,
Thou canst not inflict it upon me again.
It is better that thou grant
The peace
Which I seek
Freely unto me.
Mathigiri, 3-05-2021, 5.30 am.
BT Song 1256 எதைக் கேட்கணும்
இலாத ஒன்றை
என்னிடம் கேட்டாய்
இருப்பதைத் தந்தால்
ஏற்றிட மறுத்தாய்
இதுவே உனக்கு
வாடிக்கை ஆச்சு
என்னிலை அதனால்
பரிதாப மாச்சு
காலிக் குடமாய்
உருவாக்கி வைத்தாய்
உனக்கெது தேவையோ
அதையே நிறைத்தாய்
நிறைத்ததைத் தானே
திருப்பித் தருவேன்
காலிக் குடம்நான்
வேறென்ன செய்வேன்
விரும்பிய படிதான்
என்னையும் வனைத்தாய்
தகுந்ததை மட்டும
நிறைத்து வைத்தாய்
களிமண் என்னிடம்
என்னதான் இருக்கு
கணக்குக் கேட்டால்
உனக்கேன் பிணக்கு
உரிமை அனைத்தும்
உனக்குத்தான் உள்ளது
அதிகாரம் அதுவும்
உன்கையில் உள்ளது
குற்றேவேல் செய்யும்
அடிமைதான் நானும்
இதைநீ முதலில்
கவனிக்க வேண்டும்
சொன்னதைச் செய்வேன்
உள்ளதைத் தருவேன்
அதற்குமேல் கேட்டால்
வெறும் கை விரிப்பேன்
மத்திகிரி, 31-03-2021, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1257 குறைசொல்ல வழியில்லை
கொடுப்பது நீயாக இருந்திடும் போது
குறையேதும் சொல்ல வழிவகை ஏது
பெறுபவன் நான் என ஆன பின்னாலே
பெற்றிடத் தடையேதும் வருமோ கூறு
தருகின்ற கடமையும் உனக்கு இருக்கு
பெறுகின்ற உரிமையும் எனக்கு இருக்கு
தருவதும் பெறுவதும் நம்முள்ளே நடக்க
குறுக்கிடப் பிறர்க்குத் துணிவுண்டோ கூறு
ஆண்டான் அதனால் ஆளுகை செய்வாய்
அதற்கேற்ற பொறுப்புடன் நடந்தும் கொள்வாய்
அண்டி உன்னை வாழ்ந்திடும் குடிக்கு
அனுதினத் தேவையை அளந்து கொடுப்பாய்
ஆட்சி உனததாய் ஆன பின்னாலே
அதிலே வாழும் பேறு பெற்றேனே
அனுதின வாழ்வும் பழுதின்றிக் கழிய
ஆண்டை உனக்கே அடிமை செய்வேனே
ஆண்டான் அடிமை என்பதைத் தாண்டி
ஐயனே நீ கொண்ட உறவையும் எண்ண
இதயமும் களிக்க கண்களும் பனிக்க
இந்த பேற்றுக்கு நன்றி சொல்வேனே
கொடுத்து என்னை ஆட்கொண்ட பின்னே
கொடுக்க உனக்கென என்னிடம் இல்லை
உரிமை அனைத்தும் உனக்கான பின்னே
தனித்துத் தந்திடத் தேவையும் இல்லை
உனதை உனக்கே கொடுத்திடுவேனோ
உரிமை எனக்குண்டு என்றிடுவேனோ
உனது நிழலில் வாழ்வது போதும்
வேறெந்த உரிமை எனக்கேன் வேணும்
மத்திகிரி, 2-4-2021, இரவு, 11.00
BT Song 1258 உயிர்த்து எழுந்தாய்
உயிர்த்து நீயும்
எழுந்து விட்டாய்
உலகம் உய்ய
மீட்டுக் கொண்டாய்
மரணம் அதன்
கூர ஒடித்தாய்
மாந்தர் வாழ
வழி வகுத்தாய்
மேனி அதுவும்
அழிந்து போகும்
மீதம் இன்றி
மறைந்து போகும்
இந்த இயற்கை
நியதி தன்னை
உயிர்த்து எழுந்து
மாற்றி விட்டாய்
அந்த பேற்றை
நாங்கள் பெறும்
நாள் ஒன்று
வந்து தீரும்
அது வரையில்
எங்கள் மேனி
மண்ணுடனே
மறைந்து போகும்
இறுதி நாளில்
எம்மை எழுப்பி
புதிய மேனி
நீ தருவாய்
உந்தன் சாயல்
அதில் அடைந்து
உன்னுடன் என்றும்
இணைந்து வாழ்வோம்
அது வரையில்
இந்த உடலில்
வந்து சேரும்
துன்பம் எதுவும்
உன்னை விட்டு
பிரிக்க முடியா
பந்தம் அதனை
இன்று தருவாய்
மத்திகிரி, 4-4-2021, இரவு, 10.30
BT Song 1259 உனக்கு நல்லது
புரியாமல் வாழ்கிறேன்
புரிய உதவுவாய்
புரிந்தபின் அதன்படி
செயல்பட அருளவாய்
செயலின் விளைவு
எதுவான போதிலும்
அதனை ஏற்றிடும்
பக்குவம் நல்குவாய்
என்னை நான் புரிந்தது
கொஞ்சம்தான் அறிவேன்
அதிலும் அரைகுறை
அதனையும் உணர்வேன்
இதுவும் ஒருவிதம்
நல்லது என்பேன்
ஏனெனில் பொறுப்பு
எனக்கில்லை என்பதால்
படைத்த உன்மீது
பழிகூற வில்லை
வளர்த்தவர் மீதிலும்
குறைசொல்ல வில்லை
ஆயினும் இக்குணம்
எப்படி வந்தது
அதற்குக் காரணம்
நானில்லை அறிவேன்
இறுதியில் எவர்மீதும்
குறைசொல்ல இயலாது
ஆயினும் பொறுப்பு
உனக்குத்தான் உள்ளது
ஏனெனில் மீட்டவன்
நீயென்று ஆனபின்
எவரிடம் சென்று
முறையீடு செய்வது?
இதுமட்டும் எனக்குத்
தெளிவாகப் புரிந்தது
அந்தத் தெளிவும்
நீ சொல்லித் தந்தது
ஆகவே விடை
தேவைப் படும்போது
உன்னிடம் வருவது
வழக்கம ஆனது
அதைத்தான் இப்போ
நானும் செய்கிறேன்
புரியாமல் வாழ்வதால்
உதவிடச் சொல்கிறேன்
இதைவிட நானும்
என்னதான் செய்வது
இதை நீ புரிவது
உனக்குத்தான் நல்லது
மத்திகிரி, 11-4-2021, இரவு, 11.00
BT Song 1260 உனக்குத்தான் நல்லது
ஊரோடும் மனதோடும்
போராடும் போது
ஏதேனும் நன்மைகள்
உண்டோ கூறு
உன்னோடு மட்டும்
தனியாகப் போராட
உண்டாகும் நன்மைகள்
ஏராளம் பாரு
ஊரோடும் மனதோடும்
போராடும் போது
இருவரும் காயம்
பட்டு கிடக்க
இறுதியில் சேதாரம்
இருபக்கம் உண்டாக
எவர்வந்து உதவுவார்
என்பதைக் கூறு
உன்னோடு உள்ள
போராட்டம் தன்னில்
எத்தனை காயங்கள்
எனக்கு பட்டாலும்
காயத்தைக் கழுவி
மருந்திட்டு சுகமாக்கும்
பொறுப்பும் உனதாச்சு
என்பதை எண்ணு
ஆகவே நானாக
வலிய உன்னோடு
போராட வந்தாலும்
விலகி போயிடு
இறுதியில் எவ்வித
சேதாரம் எனக்கில்லை
என்பதை உணர்வது
உனக்குத்தான் நல்லது
எனக்காகப் பலவிதக்
காயங்கள் பட்ட
உனக்கு தெளிவாக
நானென்ன சொல்வது
அதன் வலி உணர்ந்தபின்
எனக்கதைத் தந்திட
உனக்கும இயலாது
என்பதை எண்ணி
போராடும் முன்பாக
நான்தேடும் அமைதியை
நீயாக வந்து
வலிய தந்திடு
மத்திகிரி, 3-05-2021, காலை 5.30
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