BT Song 1271
Someone wisely said that the soul finds rest only in God. Though modern inventions have provided various comforts and allowed us to enjoy life to the fullest, there are still limitations. For example, I love Carnatic music. In the past, I could only listen when it was broadcast on the radio. When tape recorders came, I managed to record more of it. Then CDs expanded the scope further. Now, YouTube offers an immense opportunity to listen whenever and for as long as I want. But after listening for an hour, I stop. No matter how much I love Carnatic music, I cannot listen to it forever. So, there is a limit to the enjoyment of material things, regardless of their form. However, unless one finds solace in God, materialism, no matter how celebrated, will eventually frustrate and make one long for solace in Him.
BT Song 1271 No Change Comes
Simple English Version
No change has come,
No need for any change.
However many new things come,
The heart’s need never changes.
Seeking everywhere,
Enjoying all pleasures of the world,
Unable to find fullness,
It keeps looking for something else.
Not knowing what it is,
Trying in many ways,
Seeking outside oneself,
It comes back, unable to find it.
Not finding peace after stopping the search,
Unable to know the way to attain it,
Body and spirit both tired,
Finally, it seeks God.
It will even worship something else,
Which it thinks gives the answer.
Even creating it in its own image,
Finally, it will be disappointed, thinking it has attained it.
Not knowing the heart of God,
Who created us in His image,
No matter how it seeks,
How can it find its true need?
Mathigiri, 15-07-2021, 11.15 pm.
BT Song 1271 No Change Comes
Classical English Version
No change hath come,
No need for any alteration.
How many modern wonders may arise,
The heart’s desire remains unaltered.
Though one may savor all worldly pleasures,
In a ceaseless quest,
Finding no fulfillment in any,
It continues to seek another thing.
Unaware of its true nature,
Endlessly trying various means,
Seeking beyond oneself,
It returns, having found nothing.
No peace comes from ceasing the external search,
Unknowing of the path to attainment,
Body and spirit both weary,
At last, it seeks the Divine.
It may even revere another,
Thinking it provides the answer.
Fashioning it in its own likeness,
It ends in disappointment, believing it has reached its goal.
Unaware of the heart of the Creator,
Who formed us in His image,
Wherever it searches,
How can it discover its true need?
Mathigiri, 15-07-2021, 11.15 pm.
BT Song 1272
After completing my regular reading of Muktiveda and other books, I sat quietly before the Lord. At that time, I realized that I hadn’t contended with the Lord for the past few weeks. So, for a change, I thought of some subject on which I could argue with Him. As I had just read the second part of Dr. Hoch’s book, Hypocrite or Heretic, where she wrote about her life searching for Indian spirituality by living a solitary life in the Himalayas beyond Almora, in a forest cottage, I thought of how I, too, always longed for that kind of life. Though I also lived a similar life by reading Indian scriptures in solitude in the Himalayas, I still missed that life very much. At the same time, I realized that solitude is only in our mind and not in any remote place, though such places provide a conducive atmosphere. Then I thought of the many needs and responsibilities in my life. Which ones should I ask for, and which ones should I give up? I often resign to the Will of God for all my needs. Then I pondered, what is this WILL OF GOD that He arbitrarily imposes on us? As I meditated on this and the words began to flow, I wrote this song, once again accepting His Will that He will always provide according to His will and not based on my longing or need.
BT Song 1272 I Forgot Completely
Simple English Version
As I have a need,
I come unto you seeking it,
Like the rain which the parching plants long for,
You also come unto me to give that.
Are they one or two?
How can I tell all of them?
As one stands ahead of the other,
I am confused which one to ask.
Though my heart tells me that,
You know what is my need,
Still my heart trembles,
Thinking what you will impose in the name of your will.
Thinking about my past experience,
My heart trembles within me,
As you said, ‘Now tell,
What is your need at present.’
‘I should know what is your will,
Which you claim all the time.’
As I asked you this,
You responded to me with a mocking laugh.
‘I will tell about it,
When you have the maturity to know it.
Till that time, let your heart be satisfied,
With whatever I give to you.’
Telling like this, as usual,
To accomplish your own will,
I completely forgot what is my need,
And I gave my consent to whatever you do for me.
BT Song 1272 I Forgot Completely
Classical English Version
As I possess a need, I come unto thee seeking it,
Like the rain that parching plants do long for,
Thou also comest unto me to bestow that.
Are they one or two? How can I declare all of them?
As one precedeth the other, I am bewildered,
Which one to request of thee?
Though my heart doth inform me that
thou knowest my need,
Yet my heart doth tremble, pondering what thou shalt impose,
In the name of thy will.
Reflecting upon my past experience,
My heart doth quake within me,
As thou didst say, ‘Now speak,
What is thy need at present?’
‘I must discern what is thy will,
Which thou dost ever claim.’
As I inquired of thee thus,
Thou with a mocking laugh didst reply unto me.
‘I shall reveal it when thou possessest
the maturity to comprehend,
Till then, let thy heart be content,
With whatsoever I bestow upon thee.’
Thus speaking, as is thy wont,
To fulfill thy own will,
I utterly forgot what is my need,
And granted consent to whatever thou doest for me.
Mathigiri, 21-07-2021, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1273
Manikkavasagar said in Thiruvasagam, “Your duty is to take care of me, and my responsibility is to serve you as per your bidding.” But serving the Lord is not easy for a bhakta. My rebellious heart always murmurs and questions many things. At the same time, my bhakti (relationship) forces me to trust Him despite the way He leads my life. My reason questions several things that happen in life, demanding answers from the Lord. But my bhakti forces me to transcend reason and abide in Him.
BT Song 1273 My Duty
Simple English Version
Whatever you say,
I will listen.
Whatever you do,
I will accept.
Once my life
Belongs to you,
I won’t seek
Anything for myself separately.
These words are not uttered
After reaching
The end of frustration.
They are said now.
These are the words
I speak,
Having received the noble status
Of living with you each day.
These are not mere words,
Not spoken as lip service.
They didn’t come
From mere emotion.
I wrote these words,
Realized in my heart,
Transcending the mind,
Beyond words.
This is a kind of experience
That feels it would be better
If there were no words
To express it.
This is a kind of feeling
That finds joy
In not expressing it
In any kind of words.
This is the higher state
Where I lose my individuality,
Once I mingle with you,
Without knowing any separation.
Once I attain that
Higher status,
Where is any
Separate thought for me?
Therefore, it is my duty
To listen
To whatever you say
And act accordingly.
Mathigiri, 22-07-2021, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1273 My Duty
Classical English Version
Whatever thou dost say,
I shall hearken.
Whatever thou dost do,
I shall accept.
Once my life
Doth belong to thee,
I shall seek not
Anything for myself separately.
These words are not uttered
After reaching
The end of frustration.
They are spoken now.
These are the words
I do speak,
Having received the noble status
Of dwelling with thee each day.
These are not mere words,
Not spoken as lip service.
They came not
From mere emotion.
I wrote these words,
Realized within my heart,
Transcending the mind,
Beyond words.
This is a kind of experience
That feels it would be better
If there were no words
To express it.
This is a kind of feeling
That finds joy
In not expressing it
In any form of words.
This is the higher state
Where I lose my individuality,
Once I mingle with thee,
Without knowing any separation.
Once I attain that
Higher state,
Where is any
Separate thought for me?
Therefore, it is my duty
To hearken
To whatever thou dost say
And act accordingly.
Mathigiri, 22-07-2021, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 1274
It is a bit difficult for me to explain why I wrote this song. Though I feel the presence of the Lord always in my life, I still feel that I miss Him in my communication. And when I lose that communication, I miss Him very much. But unlike a child who would cry when it misses its mother, I cannot even cry as I feel His presence but miss His communication. How can I express this conflict in words or in language, especially in English? I don’t know. If my translation helps, then one can understand if they cannot understand Tamil. Those who cannot now understand Tamil can wait until we reach the New Heaven and New Earth, where there will only be Tamil and all my poems to read without any English translation. Even if there is an English translation, as nobody will speak or understand it, there won’t be any need for it.
BT Song 1274I Want to Cry
Simple English Version
I feel in my heart
That I should cry.
I need your
Comfort now.
There is no
Particular reason for this,
But the trouble within
Has not yet gone.
Did any child cry
Knowing the reason,
Or does it go
And seek its mother?
Did not the mother alone
Know the reason?
She will hug
And give comfort.
But my condition is
Worse than that,
For I have lost even
The strength to weep.
Therefore I am
Not crying,
And that is why you are
Not hearing my cry.
There is no
Need for that to you;
There is no use
In providing comfort after my crying.
As you know the reason
That I cannot even grasp,
There is no need
For me to tell this to you.
If you tell the reason
To me,
Then I will cry,
Understanding it.
Then the burden
In my heart will leave;
That alone is
The comfort you could give.
I shared
What I know;
The rest is your problem.
What else can I do?
How long
Can I cry?
Show me the way
To handle this.
Mathigiri, 24-7-2021, 10:30 p.m.
BT Song 1274I Want to Cry
Classical English Version
I feel within my heart
That I must cry.
I need thy
Comfort now.
There is no
Particular reason for this,
Yet the trouble within
Hath not yet ceased.
Did any child cry
Knowing the reason,
Or doth it go
And seek its mother?
Did not the mother alone
Know the reason?
She shall embrace
And provide comfort.
But my condition is
Worse than that,
For I have lost even
The strength to weep.
Therefore I am
Not crying,
And thus thou art
Not hearing my cry.
There is no
Need for that to thee;
There is no use
In providing comfort after my tears.
As thou knowest the reason
That I cannot even perceive,
There is no need
For me to tell this to thee.
If thou reveal the reason
To me,
Then I shall cry,
Understanding it.
Then the burden
In my heart shall depart;
That alone is
The comfort thou couldst give.
I have shared
What I know;
The rest is thy concern.
What more can I do?
How long
Can I cry?
Show me the way
To bear this.
Mathigiri, 24-7-2021, 10:30 p.m.
BT Song 1275
Apart from external fights related to the body, I have two constant inner fights—one with God and another with my heart. In my fight with God, He always wins, as He wields the weapon of ‘Divine Will’. In my fight with my heart, there is no respite as we blame each other for the cause of the conflict. Unless God intervenes and brings reconciliation between us, though we will continue to fight, in the end, God alone has to pay the price for that, as He has to listen to these kinds of songs.
BT Song 1275: Bring Reconciliation
Simple English
Though I’ve tried
Many different practices,
Though I’ve made
Several attempts,
My heart remains
Out of my control.
Though I often complain
About this to you,
You do not show
Mercy towards me,
And you never
Help this poor soul.
Starting from somewhere,
Wandering in various places,
My heart is
Tossing me in many ways.
“Why do you
Act like this?”
If I ask you,
It questions me back.
By asking:
“When will I get
Final freedom
From you?”
God is there
To help you,
But who is
There for me?
If you begin
Complaining,
He comes and
Sits beside you to listen.
“My sweet, my dear,
My sweetest one,”
He comforts you
With these words.
But so far, my
Voice has not
Yet reached
His ears.
I sit alone
Lamenting,
Having to listen
To your scoldings daily.
There’s no one
To know my state.
You never allow me
To tell others about this.
After giving me
All these troubles,
Why do you now
Question me back?
You cannot
Understand my pains
Since I am
Trapped within you.
After my heart
Laments like this,
There’s no point
In blaming it.
When both my heart
And I
Struggle like this,
Blaming each other,
Unless you come
Voluntarily
To bring reconciliation
Between us,
There’s no way
For us to go on.
Therefore, beyond
This practice,
I know no
Other means.
So come and
Help us immediately,
Otherwise,
Continue to listen
To this kind of
Lamentation.
Mathigiri, 26-07-2021, 11.00
BT Song 1275: Bring Reconciliation
Classical English
Though I have performed
Various sacred practices,
And made earnest efforts,
My heart remains unbridled.
Though I often raise
Complaints unto you,
Your mercy eludes me,
You assist this wretched soul not.
Beginning from a distant place,
Wandering through many paths,
My heart doth toss me
In countless directions.
“If thou dost inquire,
‘Why actest thou thus?’”
It returns the question,
“Wherefore dost thou bind me?”
“Whence shall I attain
Final liberation
From thy grasp,
O man?”
God stands ready
To aid thy plea,
Yet who shall
Attend to my sorrow?
If thou dost commence
To complain,
He draws near
To listen to thy cries.
“My dearest, my beloved,
My sweetest one,”
Thus He comforts thee
With gentle words.
Yet, my voice
Has yet to find
Its way
To His attentive ears.
Alone I sit,
In lamentation,
Enduring each day
Thy scoldings.
There exists none
To know my plight,
Thou dost not permit me
To share with others.
After bestowing
These troubles upon me,
Why dost thou now
Return questions unto me?
Thou art unable
To fathom my pain,
As I remain
Ensnared within thee.
After my heart
Hath lamented thus,
There lies no merit
In casting blame.
When both my heart
And I
Engage in strife,
Each blaming the other,
Unless thou dost come
Of thine own accord
To reconcile
Between us,
No path remains
For our journey.
Thus, beyond
This sacred practice,
I know of no
Other remedy.
Therefore, come forth
And aid us swiftly,
Else continue to hear
This lamentation
That echoes forth
From my weary heart.
Mathigiri, 26-07-2021, 11.00
BT Song 1271 மாறுதல் இல்லை
மாற்றம் ஏதும் வந்திட வில்லை
மாறுதல் ஏதும் தேவையும் இல்லை
எத்தனை புதுமைகள் வந்த போதும்
மனதின் தேவை மாறவே இல்லை
ஓடி ஆடித் தேடித் திரிந்து
உலகின் அனைத்து இன்பங்கள் துய்த்தும்
ஒன்றிலும் முழுமை காண இயலாமல்
ஏதோ ஒன்றைத் தேடி அலையும்
அந்த ஒன்று எதுவெனத் தெரியாமல்
அடுக்கடுக்காய்ப் பல முயற்சிகள் செய்து
தனக்குப் புறம்பே தேடி அலைந்து
எங்கும் காணாமல் தன்னுள் அடங்கும்
அடங்கிய பின்னும் அமைதி காணாது
அடைந்திடும் வழியை அறியவும் முடியாது
தேகமும் ஓய மனதுமே சோர
தெய்வத்தை இறுதியில் நாடியே பார்க்கும்
தான் நாடும் பதிலைத் தந்திடும் ஒன்றை
தெய்வம் என்று ஏற்றுக் கொண்டாடும்
தன்சாயல் தன்னில் அதனையும் படைத்து
இறுதியில் அடைந்தேன் என ஏமாறும்
தன்சாயல் தன்னில் நம்மைப் படைத்த
தலைவன் தன்மையை மனம் உணராமல்
எங்கு எவ்விதம் எப்படித் தேடினும்
தன்தேவை தன்னை எப்படி அடையும்
மத்திகிரி, 15-07-2017, இரவு, 11.15
BT Song 1272 மறந்தே போச்சு
தேவை ஒன்று
இருப்பதினாலே
தேடியே வந்தேன்
நானும் இங்கு
வாடும் பயிர்கள்
நாடும் மழைபோல்
நாடி வருவாய்
நீயும் நன்கு
ஒன்றா இரண்டா
எதனைச் சொல்ல
என்தேவை அனைத்தையும்
எப்படிச் சொல்ல
ஒன்றை ஒன்று
விஞ்சி நிற்கையில்
எதைவிட எதைக்கேட்க
எனமனம் குழம்புது
என்தேவை எதுவென
நன்கு தெரிந்த
உனக்குத் தெரியும்
என மனம் சொல்லினும்
என்சித்தம் எனக்கூறி
எதைநீ திணிப்பாய்
என்பதை எண்ண
மனதும் நடுங்குது
அனுபவம் தந்த
பாடம் அதனை
எண்ணி மனமும்
தயங்கி நிற்குது
‘இப்போ உனது
தேவை என்ன
அதைமட்டும் சொல்லு’
எனநீ கூற
“எதற்கெடுத்தாலும்
என் சித்தமென
எதைநீ சொல்கிறாய்
அதையே அறியணும்”
என்றே நானும்
கூறிய உடனே
ஏளனச் சிரிப்புடன்
என்னையும் பார்த்து
‘அதனை அறியும்
பக்குவம் வரட்டும்
அதன்பின் உனக்கு
நானும் சொல்கிறேன்
அதுவரை உன்தேவை
அறிந்துநான் தருவதை
ஏற்பதை உன்மனம்
நன்கு பழக்கட்டும்’
என்றே கூறி
வழக்கம் போல
உன்சித்தம் அதனை
நீ நிறைவேற்ற
என்தேவை எல்லாம்
மறந்தே போச்சு
எதை நீ செய்யினும்
சம்மதம் ஆச்சு
மத்திகிரி, 21-07-2021, இரவு 11.30
BT Song 1273 என் பணி
எதைநீ சொன்னாலும்
அதைநான் கேட்பேன்
எதைநீ செய்தாலும்
அதையும் ஏற்பேன்
என்வாழ்வு உனதென்று
ஆன பின்னாலே
எனக்கெனத் தனியாக
நான்ஒன்றைத் தேடேன்
விரக்தியின் விளிம்புக்கு
வந்த பின்னாலே
வேறு வழியின்றி
கூறும் சொல்லல்ல
அனுதினம் உன்னோடு
வாழ்கின்ற பெரும்பேறு
அடைந்த பின்னாலே
கூறிடும் சொல்லிது
உதடுகள் சொல்கின்ற
சொல்லல்ல இவையும்
உணர்ச்சியின் பெருக்காலே
வரவில்லை இவையும்
சிந்தைக்கு அப்பாலே
சொல்லுக்குப் புறம்பாக
நெஞ்சத்தில் உணர்ந்ததைச்
சொல்லிலே வடித்தது
மொழிஒன்று இல்லாமல்
இருந்தாலே நலமென்று
என்றிடும் எல்லைக்குச்
சென்றிடும் உணர்விது
அதையும் எழுத்தாக்கி
வடிக்காத நிலைஒன்றை
அடைவதே சுகமெனக்
கூறிடும் உணர்விது
அதிலே உன்னோடு
இரண்டறக் கலந்தபின்
என்தனி அடையாளம்
தொலைந்திடும் உயர்வது
அந்த உயர்வினை
உன்னிலே அடைந்தபின்
எனக்கெனத் தனியான
எண்ணமும் இனியேது
ஆகவே எதை நீ
சொன்னாலும் கேட்டு
அதன்படி செய்வதே
பணியெனக் கானது
மத்திகிரி, 22-07-2021, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1274 அழ வேண்டும்
அழணும் போல
மனதில் இருக்கு
உன்னாறுதல் இங்கு
தேவை எனக்கு
காரணம் ஏதும்
இதற்கு இல்லை
கலக்கம் மட்டும்
நீங்க வில்லை
காரணம் புரிந்தா
குழந்தையும் சிணுங்கும்
தாயிடம் அதை
எடுத்தா உரைக்கும்
பெற்றவள் அன்றோ
காரணம் அறிவாள்
பேணி அணைத்து
ஆறுதல் தருவாள்
அதனினும் என்
நிலமை மோசம்
அழுதிடும் வலிமை
இழந்ததினாலே
ஆகவே நானும்
அழுதிட வில்லை
அழுதிடும் சத்தம்
கேட்கவும் இல்லை
அதற்கு அவசியம்
உனக்கு இல்லை
அழுதபின் தந்து
பயனும் இல்லை
எனக்கே புரியாக
காரணம் புரிந்த
உனக்குச் சொல்லிடத்
தேவையும் இல்லை
காரணம் தன்னைச்
சொன்னால் நீயும்
காரணம் புரிந்து
அழுவேன் நானும்
அதன்பின் மனதின்
பாரமும் குறையும்
அதுவே நீதரும்
ஆறுதல் ஆகும்
ஏதோ எனக்குத்
தெரிந்ததைச் சொன்னேன்
இனியுன் பாடு
வேறென்ன செய்வேன்
எதுவரை புலம்ப
நீயே சொல்லு
இதற்கு வழியை
நீயே காட்டு
மத்திகிரி, 24-7-2021, இரவு, 10.30
BT Song 1275 சமரசம் செய்வாய்
எத்தனையோ முறை
பயிற்சிகள் செய்தும்
எத்தனையோ வகை
முயற்சிகள் செய்தும்
என்மனம் என்வசம்
ஆகவே இல்லை
உன்னிடம் அடிக்கடி
நானிதைச் சொல்லியும்
உன்மனம் இன்னும்
இரங்க வில்லை
ஏழை எனக்கு
உதவிட வில்லை
எங்கோ தொடங்கி
எங்கோ அலைந்து
என்மனம் பலவிதம்
அலைக் கழிக்கின்றது
இப்படியேன் நீ
செய்கிறாய் என்றால்
என்னையே மீண்டும்
கேள்விகள் கேட்குது
“உன்னிடமிருந்து
எனக்கொரு விடுதலை
எப்போக் கிடைக்கும்”
என்னைக் கேட்குது
“உனக்கென உதவ
இறைவன உள்ளான்
ஆனால் எனக்குத்தான்
எவர்தான் உள்ளார்?
குறைகளைச் சொன்னால்
உடனே வந்து
உன்னிடம் அமர்ந்து
அனைத்தையும் கேட்கிறான்
கண்ணே கனியே’
என்கட்டிக் கரும்பே
என்றே சொல்லி
உன்னையும் தேற்றுறான்
ஆயினும் என்குரல்
அவனது செவிகளில்
ஏனோ இதுவரை
விழுந்திட வில்லை
தனியே இருந்து
புலம்புறேன் நானும்
உனது ஏச்சைக்
கேட்கிறேன் நாளும்
என்னிலை அறிந்திட
எவருமே இல்லை
பிறரிடம் சொல்லநீ
விடுவதும் இல்லை
இத்தனை கொடுமைகள்
எனக்குச் செய்தபின்
என்னிடம் ஏன்நீ
கேள்வியும் கேட்கிறாய்
உன்னிடம் அகப்பட்டு
நான்படும் அவதியை
ஒருநாளும் நீயும்
உண்மையில் அறியாய்”
இப்படி என்மனம்
சொல்லிய பினால்
அதனைக் குறைசொல்லிப்
பயனுமே இல்லை
ஒருவரை ஒருவர்
குறைசொல்லிக் கொண்டு
நானும் மனதும்
போராடும் போது
ஒப்புரவாக
வழியெமக் கில்லை
ஆகவே இந்தப்
பயிற்சியே அன்றி
வேறொன்றும் செய்ய
அறியவும் இல்லை
எனவே வந்து
உதவியும் செய்வாய்
இல்லையேl இதுபோல்
புலம்பலைக் கேட்பாய்
மத்திகிரி, 26-07-2021, இரவு, 11.00
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