The initial hurdles to settle down at Gurukulam brought lots of stress. I went there thinking that I will have my own life of recluse without any hurdle. But soon one after another began to come. The helper who served suddenly left. The local people who came to help initially soon disappeared. As I don’t want to give trouble to the other Trust members, I tried to manage several things with my limitations. Then I realized that this life at Gurukulam too is another kind of desire. Then managing a big property without anyone to help me around by staying with me became a big challenge. Anyhow God helped me through other means and I managed at my best. When I was struggling so many times with day to day problems of managing such a big property, I wrote this song. But in spite of those problems I would still prefer to go and live there than in a noisy city with lots of people around me.
6-8-14
131. தேடுகிறேன்
பாடுகிறேன் உன் பரமபதம் தேடி
பக்தியால் மட்டும் அனுதினம் நாடி
ஓடுகிறேன் பல தேவைகள் தேடி
ஒரு வழி காணாமல் திகைக்கிறேன் வாடி
யாரிடம் சொல்வேன் எந்தன் நிலையை
இப்புவி வாழ்வோ மாபெரும் தொல்லை
ஆயினும் விடவில்லை இதன் மீது ஆசை
என்றுதான் முடியுமோ மனதின் இவ்வோசை
10-11-2007. குருகுலம்
131. I am searching
I am singing seeking your Noble feet
Only through my bhakti every day
I am running seeking several needs
But I am bewildered not knowing the (correct) path
To whom shall I tell my condition?
The life on this earth is really troublesome one
Yet the desire for that is not gone
And when the end will come to this noise (of desire)
10-11-2007. Gurukulam
BT Song 132
When I sit to pray or worship, I will think deeply about the Lord and what He is, What He means to me. And spontaneously some words will come in my mind and then I used to write those thoughts as a song. This is one such.
132. எல்லாம் நீ
அம்மை நீ அப்பன் நீ
அருள் காட்டும் தெய்வம் நீ
இம்மை நீ மறுமை நீ
இருள் நீக்கும் ஒளியும் நீ
வாய்மை நீ வழியும் நீ
வாழ்வளிக்கும் ஜீவன் நீ
முதலும் நீ முடிவும் நீ
முக்திக்கு ஈசன் நீ
தொன்மை நீ தொடக்கம் நீ
தொடக்கத்தின் முடிவும் நீ
அருளும் நீ அபயம் நீ
ஆனந்தத்தின் எல்லை நீ
கருணை நீ கடவுள் நீ
காக்கின்ற தெய்வம் நீ
தருமம் நீ தலைவன் நீ
தயை காட்டும் அன்னை நீ
இறுதி நீ எல்லை நீ
இனி அனைத்தும் நீ எனக்கே
22-07-2008. குருகுலம்
132. You are everything
You are my mother and you are my father
You are the God who shows grace
You are the present and you are the life beyond
You are the light which removes darkness
You are the truth you are the Way
You are the life which helps to live
You are the beginning and you are the end
You are the Lord for Mukti
You are the ancient one and you are the beginning
You are the end to that beginning
You are the Grace you are the refuge
You are the end of bliss
You are the Compassion, You are God
You are the protecting Lord
You are the dharma you are the Master
You are the mother who shows mercy
You are the end and you are the destination
Hereafter you alone are everything to me.
22-07-2008. Gurukulam
BT Song 133
எல்லாவற்றிலும் முதல் பங்கு இறைவனுக்கே என்ற வாதத்தை கேட்ட போது எழுதிய பாடல்
133. எல்லாம் உனதே
முழுதும் உனதானால்
முதன்மை எதுவாகும்
கணக்கிட்டுக் கொடுப்பதும்
கருமியின் செயலாகும்
முழுதும் தந்தாய் நீ
முறையிட்டு அளக்காமல்
நான் மட்டும் தரும் போது
விரல்விட்டு எண்ணுவதோ?
காணிக்கை பெயராலே
காசுகளை எண்ணி நான்
ஆலயத்தில் அளித்துவிட்டால்
அத்துடன் முடிந்ததுவோ?
நேரத்தில் முதற்பங்கு
எதுவென்று சொல்வது
காலை மாலை மதிய மெல்லாம்
கணக்கிடும் முறை தானே!
எண்ணாமல் உன்னையே
எனக்கே அளித்தாய் நீ
எனது என்று இல்லாமல்’
இனியெல்லாம் உனதே தான்!
06-11-2008. குருகுலம்
133. Everything is yours
If everything is yours
Then which one is the First?
Giving by calculating
Is the act of a miser?
You gave yourself completely
Without giving by measure
When I should give
Can I count with fingers?
In the name of offering
If I give to the temple
By counting the coins
Will that be the end?
Which one is the first
Part of time?
Morning and evening are
Nothing but calculations.
Without counting/calculating
When you offered yourself
Therefore nothing is mine any more
But everything belongs to you
06-11-2008. Gurukulam
At the ashram, when we gather, we will sit before the fire and discuss important topics after midnight. In one such talk when the point came that, ‘God first’ everything after that, disagreeing with such a view I said that giving priority to God is not correct but He is the first, second, third and lost. When some say that ‘God fist’, ‘ministry second’ and ‘family third’ I never agreed for such compartmentalizing of God and life. Once God becomes the center of our life, then everything should be God oriented and there is no point of giving any priority to God. The next day I wrote this song.
Giving tithe, getting up early in the morning to meditate and for prayer, having regular reading of Muktiveda etc. are good disciplines and knowing our laziness and weakness we need such disciplines. But when discipline degenerates then it will lead to legalism. They should be only a means for our need but never for us as a standard to measure our priority to God. We cannot read Muktiveda and pray and then say goodbye to God by saying, ‘well I gave first priority to you and the rest of the day is mine. And if I have time, let us see in the evening or before I go to bed’.
Though we are Hindus yet one marked difference in our life is that we keep God at the center of everything. Though Hindus also give great importance to God, yet their life is dharmic centered where God will have a relative role to play? Though dharma is also important for us, it is centered on God.
I read Muktiveda almost in the afternoon and most of the prayer time is during my walking (and that is why I never allow anyone to come with me). I meditate mostly before retiring to bed and my poems are my prayers there. But I also learnt to keep ‘short accounts with God’ through prayer. But I never give any priority to Him. As Sevanand well said, ‘we living, moving and our being is in Him.’
6-8-14
BT Song 134
134. ஓர் அழைப்பு
ஆதியாகி அந்தமாகி
அருளுமாகி வந்தவன்
ஜோதியாகித் துணையாகி
சொந்தமாகி நின்றவன்
கருணையாகி இறைவனாகிக்
காக்க இங்கு வந்தவன்
காலமெல்லாம் துணையுமாகிக்
கரம்பிடிக்க வந்தவன்
நீதியாகி நிமலனாகி
நேர்மை காட்ட வந்தவன்
ஊழிகாலம் தொடர்ந்துவந்த
கர்மம் போக்கி வென்றவன்
ஆதிமனிதன் சாயலாக
அவனி காக்க வந்தவன்
அன்பருக்காய்த் தன்னை ஈந்து
முக்தி அளித்து சென்றவன்
ஏது மற்ற என்னைக் கூட
ஏற்று அருள் தந்தவன்
இரக்க முற்று என்னைத்தேடி
இவ்வுலகில் வந்தவன்
பாவமறியா பரமனும்
பாவிக்கு வந்தனன்
பாவபலியுமாகி இங்கு
பாவம் போக்கி காத்தனன்
வழியறியா வாழ்க்கையிலே
வழிகாட்டி நின்றவன்
அனுதினமும் என்னை நடத்த
ஆன்ம உருக் கொண்டவன்
மனமும் தெளிவு அடைந்திடவே
முக்தி மறை தந்தவன்
அதையும் கூட விளக்கிடவே
ஆசனாகி உரைப்பவன்
பக்தி நெறி நடந்திடவே
பக்தர் குழாம் தந்தவன்
பக்தியுடன் பாடித்தொழ
புதிய பாடல் தருபவன்.
இருளில் வாழும் மனிதருக்கு
இந்த உண்மை சொல்லவே
என்னைகூடத் தொண்டனாக்கி
இங்கு அனுப்பி வைத்தவன்
வாருங்கள் நாமும் போய்
இந்த உண்மை கூறுவோம்
வாழும்போதே உய்யும்படி
ஈசனருளைக் காட்டுவோம்
தேவை நிறைந்த மாந்தருக்காய்த்
தினமும் வேண்டிக் கொள்ளுவோம்
தெய்வமே உலகைக் காப்பார்
என்று உறுதி கொள்வோம்
மீண்டும் வந்து நம்மையுமே
உடனழைத்துச் செல்லுவான்
ஊழி ஊழி காலமெல்லாம்
ஒன்றுகூடி வாழவே
இருள் அறியா நாட்டினிலே
ஒன்றுகூடி வாழுவோம்
பேதமெல்லாம் நீங்கி நாமும்
பரமன் சாயல் கொள்ளுவோம்
இந்த உண்மை அறிந்தோரே
இன்னும் என்ன தாமதம்
இதயம் நிறைந்து வாழ்த்துவோம்
முக்தேசன் பொற்பதம்.
-1-11-2010. குருகுலம்.
134. A call
Becoming the first and last
He came as Grace
He became light and companion
And as my own
He became Compassion and God
And came to protect
To remain a companion all through the life
He came to uphold my hand
By becoming righteous and pure
He came to show straight path
He came to undo the karma
Which will chase me eternally?
He came in the form of the first man
To save this earth
By giving Himself to His loving one
Bestowing Mukti He went away
He received and uplifted me
The one who is empty
By His mercy searching after me
He came to this world
The Eternal God who does not know sin
Came for the sinner
By becoming an offering for the sin
He saved by removing the sin
He showed the path
In this life which does not have a way
To lead me everyday
He took the Form of the Spirit
In order to clear my mind
He gave me Mukti Veda
By becoming my teacher
He also teaches me
He gave the company of bhaktas
For me to follow the path of bhakti
In order to worship Him with bhakti
He gives new songs
In order to tell this truth to
The people who live in darkness
Making me as a servant
He sent me here
Come let us go
And tell this truth
Let us show the grace of God
While (they) are living
Let us pray for the need
Of people everyday
And let us have this assurance that
God will save the world
He will come again
And take us back with Him
In order to live eternally
And live together
We will live together
In that country which knows no darkness
Removing all the differences
We will take His form
Why further delay
O you know this truth
Let us glorify Him full of heart
The golden feet of Muktesan
01-11-2010. Gurukulam
This I wrote to sing as a bhajan. When I write songs I never think first and then write. As the words come naturally and spontaneously, I will first write and then think about the contradiction and controversy. For me reading too much theology in poems is not correct. More about it in some other occasion.This is one such bhajan.
Regarding the second coming, eschatology and other things I have my own understanding and interpretation which is difficult to articulate. I don’t want to philosophy them at the same time I don’t want to take them as literally as illustrated in Muktiveda. Whatever may be it and however it will happen I am not denying that hope? For example I never believed in going to some heaven as Muktiveda never talks about such a heaven. God will come back is the reality and not we will go to heaven. About this Tom Wright says:
…A long Christian tradition, of course, has assumed that he wanted to know how he could be sure of going to heaven when he died, but that wasn’t how he would have put it. God was going to make the whole world a new place; when that happened, you wouldn’t want to be away in a disembodied heaven, but here on earth to enjoy the great blessing.
A further word of explanation is needed here. When Jesus says ‘You will have treasure in heaven’, he doesn’t mean that the young man must go to heaven to get it; he means that God will keep it stored up for him until the time when, in the Age to Come, all is revealed. The reason you have money in the bank is not so that you can spend it in the bank but so that you can take it out and spend it somewhere else. The reason you have treasure in heaven, God’s storehouse, is so that you can enjoy it in the Age to Come when God brings heaven and earth together at last. And ‘eternal life’, as most translations put it, doesn’t mean ‘life in a timeless, otherworldly dimension’, but ‘the life of the Age to come’ (the word ‘eternal’ translates a word which means ‘belonging to the Age’).— Tom Wright, Mark for Everyone, London, SPCK (2004), Indian Edition, Delhi, ISPCK, 2015, Mark, 10. 17-31, p. 135
This is further explained by J. H. Wright as he says:
…Look again at the wonderful picture in Revelation 21-22. It says nothing about us going off to heaven or to anywhere else at all. Rather, it shows us God coming down to earth, transforming the whole creation into the new heaven and new earth that he had promised in Isaiah 65:17, and then living here with us—on earth.
In other words, the Bible’s last great vision is not of us going “up” there (to heaven), but of God coming “down” here (to earth)…..— Christopher J. H. Wright, The God I Don’t Understand, Zondervan, Michigan, 2008, p. 194
Bit teasingly he further says that he does not even want to go to heaven:
Think of the prospect! All human culture, language, literature, art, music, science, business, sport, technological achievement—actual and potential—all available to us. All of it with the poison of evil and sin sucked out of it forever. All of it glorifying God. All of it under his loving and approving smile. All of it for us to enjoy with God and indeed being enjoyed by God. And all eternity for us to explore it, understand it, appreciate it, and expand it.
If this is the new creation that the Bible promises, you can understand why I don’t want just to “go to heaven when I die”. Who wants just heaven when God promises heaven and earth?— Tom Wright, op. cit. p. 204
And this finally telling rebuke is worth reading and meditating for us:
…The new creation will somehow—in ways only God can imagine and plan for—include all that we have accomplished by our work in this creation. Purged and redeemed, yes. Freed from all accretions of greed and guilt, of violence and covetousness, of deceit and pride, yes. But not obliterated and forgotten forever.
In my view, this gives great value and significance to the ordinary world of everyday life and work. It is not merely a temporary and disposable arena for evangelizing souls. Please do not misunderstand me. The workplace is every Christian’s mission field, and our witness to the lordship of Christ and the truth and ethic of the gospel must govern the way we function there. But when some Christian preachers say that the only reason Christians have for going to work during the week is to evangelize and that nothing else they do counts for anything, I long to challenge their unbiblical dualism and their woefully inadequate doctrines of creation, humanity, and eschatology!—ibid. p. 220
BT Song 135
135. உண்டோ வேறொன்று
அன்பின் வழி காட்ட
அவனியில் வந்தாயே
ஐயனே நீயன்றி அதை
அறிந்திட வழியுண்டோ
பண்பின் மொழி கூறப்
பாரினில் வந்தாயே
பரமனே நீ அன்றிப்
புரிந்திட துணையுண்டோ?
தாழ்மை நெறிகாட்ட
தரணியில் வந்தாயே
தலைவனே நீயன்றி
நடத்திட யாருண்டோ?
11-11-2010. குருகுலம்.
135. Is there any other way?
To show the path of love
You came to this world
O Lord is there any other means
For us to know that?
To show the morality
You came to this world
O eternal one other than you
Is there any other help to understand it?
To show the code of humility
You came to this world
Oh my master other than you
Is there anyone else to lead us?
11-11-2010. Gurukulam.
Our Lord is the embodiment of love, morality and humility. His humility is not mere character but demonstrated through His mission by remaining obedient unto the cross to fulfil the will of God. There He demonstrated His love. And His code of morality is not any list of dos and don’ts based on the worldview of a particular society, but linking love and humility. Humility is not coward-ness and love is not remaining tender and has some kind of sentiment. More than mere characters they are His very nature which is demonstrated through His life. I am not sure how to translate the word ‘panbu’ in English. It is an all-inclusive word for modesty, nobleness which could be visible only through carrying out in life and. When I thought about it I wrote this song.
6-8-14
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