BT Song 1421
I got up around 2:00 AM to help my mother. Then, I couldn’t fall back asleep. These days, my mother talks a lot in her sleep—sometimes even singing or lamenting about her life. This disturbs me as I sleep in the same room to help her. Though I manage to rest a bit after my morning meal, missing my regular sleep at night leaves me feeling tired. Unable to sleep further, I got up around 3:00 AM and made a cup of tea. But I wasn’t in the mood to read or work on the computer. So, I sat in the dining hall, thinking about various things. I then began to tell the Lord that He is doing things in my life with a certain plan in mind, but the way He plays with me is a bit irritating. So, I began to wrestle with the Lord and wrote this song to vent my anger.
BT Song 1421 – What Kind of Play is This?
simple English version
Keeping something
In your mind
And deciding that
There is no use in telling me
You alone
Move the pieces
And ask me
Only to watch
From the gallery
Though I watch the game
Some thoughts
Come to my mind
Thinking that
I could help you a bit
I came down
From the gallery
But showing the
Rules of the game
The referees refused
Permission to me
Again I went back
To the gallery and
From there began to
Watch the games
Then I found one
Reality but
My heart
Refused to accept it
Though many groups
Sat separately
Whichever way they
Played the game
Taking their seat
In those games
Understanding which one is
Good for them
You alone made them
To play their game
And those who did
Also won the game
But only my game
Ended in a draw
No victory
No defeat
Unable to know
Who won
And who was defeated
You closed the game
Does this play
Seem new to me?
Didn’t you play the same game
Several times before?
Not allowing me to lose
Also not giving me victory
Why do you force me
To play again and again?
But when the time
Came to end the game
As you had to
Announce something
Declaring that
The game will continue
And dragging me
Unnecessarily for competition
Forcing me again
To play one more time
You alone as usual
Played the game
Till the end
Not allowing me to play
How long will you
Give this training to me?
Knowing well that
If you play with me
Definitely you will
Be defeated by me
Either you come
And play with me
Or allow me
To play my own way
Not having any one kind of game
What kind of play is this?
Do whatever you like
And this became an entertainment for you
Gurukulam, 23-08-2022, 4.30 a.m
BT Song 1421 – What Kind of Play is This?
classical English
Bearing in mind
Some secret thought,
You decide ’tis naught
To share it with me.
You alone
Move the pieces,
Asking me
To merely watch.
From the gallery,
Though I observe,
Strange musings
Arise within me.
Thinking I might
Aid you a bit,
I descended
From the gallery.
Yet, pointing out
The game’s rules,
The referees
Denied me leave.
Back to the gallery,
I returned,
From thence to
Watch the sport.
Then, a truth
I grasped, yet
My heart
Refused it.
Though many groups
Sat apart,
Whichever way
They played the game,
Taking their seat,
In those games,
Knowing which
Suited them best,
You alone made them
Play their parts,
And those who did
Indeed prevailed.
But my game
Alone did end
In a draw,
With neither gain nor loss.
Unaware
Of who had won
And who was defeated,
You ended the game.
Is this play
New to me?
Have you not
Played it oft before?
Not letting me lose,
Nor granting victory,
Why force me
To play anew?
When the time
Came to end the game,
Needing to
Announce some outcome,
You declared
The game continues,
Drawing me
Again to strife.
Forcing me
Once more to play,
You alone
Moved the pieces.
To the end,
Not letting me play,
How long
Will you train me thus?
Knowing well
That in fair contest
You would be
Vanquished by me,
Either come,
Play with me,
Or let me
Play my way.
With no fixed game,
What sport is this?
Do as you wish;
For you, ’tis mere amusement.
Gurukulam, 23-08-2022, 4.30 a.m
BT Song 1422
I got up around 2:00 AM and sat in the dining hall after making a cup of tea, writing the previous song. I then went to bed around 5:00 AM, but I couldn’t sleep as I had to help my mother again. I was tossing on my bed, unable to sleep or get up. After the helper gave my mother coffee and me tea, I lay on the bed again, but couldn’t sleep. I then told the Lord that He has to make some final decision about our lives. There is no point in dragging our lives like this. I can act as He makes decisions for me, and He alone has to take responsibility for everything that happens in my life. As I was thinking about this, I wrote the song, expressing my thoughts to the Lord.
BT Song 1422 – What is the Final Decision
simple English
When I live
With much frustration,
Not knowing the
Final decision for this life,
Think whose
Responsibility it is
To end this
By giving a final solution.
When I began to act
Thinking this is
Your final
Decision for me,
Who placed
Stumbling blocks,
Interfering as
I proceeded further?
Don’t try to escape
By saying this is
The work of
The devil.
He has no work
With me;
You also know
This very well.
You cannot
Blame that
This decision was
Made by me alone.
When you never
Gave any right
To take any
Decision in my life,
Finally, give some
Final solution to this.
If it is not possible,
Better keep away.
Not doing that either,
And not giving a solution,
What kind of play is this?
At least tell me this.
There is no beginning
Without an end.
Once you alone
Arranged this for us,
Give me the reason
For remaining adamant,
Refusing to
End this issue.
If both the present and
The future remain like this,
Neither knowing the end
Nor having any clarity,
Who gave you
The name God,
Who knows
Past, present, and future?
First, give
An answer to this.
Then, if possible,
Give the final solution.
If that is not possible,
At least give me the right
To make
My own decision.
Gurukulam, 23-08-2022, 7.00 a.m.
BT Song 1422 – What is the Final Decision
classical English
When I dwell
In much frustration,
Unknowing of
This life’s final decree,
Consider whose
Responsibility it be
To conclude this
With a final resolution.
When I commenced to act,
Believing this to be
Your final
Decree for me,
Who then placed
Stumbling blocks,
Interfering as
I advanced?
Do not seek
To evade by saying
This is the work
Of the devil.
He has no dealings
With me;
This you know
Full well.
Nor can you
Lay blame
That this decision
Was solely mine.
When ne’er did you
Bestow any right
To decide
Upon my life,
Finally, provide
A resolution.
If it be impossible,
Then withdraw.
Neither doing this,
Nor offering solution,
What sport is this?
At least declare it to me.
There is no inception
Without an end.
Once you alone
Ordained this for us,
Explain why
You remain obstinate,
Refusing to
Resolve this matter.
If both present and
Future linger thus,
With no end known
Nor clarity gained,
Who gave you
The name of God,
Knower of
Past, present, and future?
First, answer this;
Then, if able,
Grant the
Final solution.
If that be impossible,
At least grant me the right
To make
My own decision.
Gurukulam, 23-08-2022, 7.00 a.m.
BT Song 1423
The daytime caretaker will be married on September 5th. Though her mother promised to come and take care of my mother, there are still many ‘ifs’ and ‘buts.’ As I was thinking about this, I remembered how God led me so many times, even against my will, to accomplish His plan for me. For example, when I decided to shift back last year [September 5th, 2021], my plan was to stay in the ashram for only two weeks for a change and then move back to Mathigiri. But the way things developed was beyond my comprehension. As a rational person, I would have never taken those decisions. When I recall those days, I wonder how I managed to make all those decisions and even enact them. Now, sitting in the ashram, I know that it was God who acted, forcing me to remain only a tool in His hand. The way He arranged everything for me, including the decision to sell the house, is nothing short of a miracle, considering my nature. So, though several ‘ifs and buts’ loom before me, I know that the same Lord will do the same thing again in my life. All I need to do is sit and relax, watching His actions. As I was thinking about this, I wrote this song.
BT Song 1423 – You Accomplished
Simple English
As your hands
Push me ahead,
I also proceed,
Accepting it.
You managed to
Accomplish your plan,
And I received
The benefit of it.
Completely occupying
My mind,
Then enabling me
To think.
You made me
Act accordingly.
When I hesitated,
You pushed me ahead.
Confused, thinking
About the pros and cons,
Fearing whether to
Proceed or abandon.
When I started
With much hesitation,
Removing my hesitation,
You came with me.
When I launched
With much courage,
Changing the circumstance
In my favor.
Sending angels
To help me,
You alone
Accomplished the work.
Till this time,
This alone happened in my life.
This alone is
Continuously happening.
When I surrender
Completely to you,
The end will
Always be good.
The rest of my life
Will also go like this.
I know this
Very clearly.
And giving myself
Completely to you,
I gave my consent
For you to accomplish.
Gurukulam, 27-08-2022, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1423 – Thou Accomplished
classical English
As thy hands
Push me forth,
I too proceed,
Accepting it.
Thou didst manage
To accomplish thy plan,
And I received
The benefit thereof.
Completely occupying
My mind,
Then enabling me
To ponder.
Thou madest me
Act accordingly.
When I hesitated,
Thou didst push me forward.
Confused, contemplating
The advantages and disadvantages,
Fearing whether to
Proceed or abandon.
When I commenced
With much hesitation,
Removing my hesitation,
Thou didst accompany me.
When I embarked
With much courage,
Changing the circumstance
In my favor.
Sending angels
To aid me,
Thou alone
Accomplished the task.
Until this time,
This alone occurred in my life.
This alone is
Continuously happening.
When I surrender
Completely to thee,
The end will
Always be good.
The rest of my life
Will also follow thus.
I know this
Very clearly.
And giving myself
Completely to thee,
I granted my consent
For thee to accomplish.
Gurukulam, 27-08-2022, 11.30 p.m.
BT Song 1424
[It is almost impossible to translate this in English. The only way to understand the original is to learn Tamil. Otherwise, you have to live with confusion if you manage to understand this translation!] as it was not “I” who actually confused you.
When I read the following point, I contemplated it, and the result is this song. I am not sure whether it agrees with every theology or philosophy. But every bhakta feels in her ‘atman’ the oneness with God, however any particular theology tries to explain the relationship between Atman and God differently.
…No individual would be audacious or presumptuous enough to write that he or she had ‘seen God.’ The traditionally acceptable way was to indicate that it was actually not the ego that experienced the vision, but the collective, shared spiritual Self. The ego loses itself in the process, as in the Rumi parable of the soul knocking on God’s door and not being admitted until, in answer to ‘who’s there?’ the soul answers ‘You.’ Nothing intervenes in between; the illusions of the separate self are dropped.—Lajja Gauri, Kanakadasa and the Body, Vemana and Vision, in Vijayanagara Visions: Religious Experience and Cultural Creativity in a South Indian Empire, New Delhi, Oxford University Press, 2007, pp. 218-248, 249-277, p. 270
Here is Rumi’s song:
Two Friends
A certain person came to the Friend’s door
and knocked
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me.”
The Friend answered, “Go away. There’s no place
for raw meat at this table.”
The individual went wandering for a year.
Nothing but the fire of separation
can change hypocrisy and ego. The person returned
completely cooked,
walked up and down in front of the Friend’s house,
gently knocked.
“Who is it?”
“You.”
“Please come in my self,
there’s no place in this house for two.
The doubled end of the thread is not what goes through
the eye of the needle.
It’s a single-pointed, fined-down, thread end,
not a big ego-beast with baggage.’
But how can a camel be thinned to a thread?
With the shears of practices, with doing things.— p. 87
Let’s return to the two friends whose thread
became single,
who spell with their two letters
The original word,
BE
B and E tighten around subjects and objects
that one knot may hold them. Two scissor blades
Make one cut.
And watch two men washing clothes.
One makes dry clothes wet. The other makes
wet clothes dry. They seem to be thwarting each other,
but their work is a perfect harmony.
Evey hold person seems to have a different doctrine
and practice, but there’s really only one work.— Coleman Barks, The Essential RUMI, Introduction to the New Expanded Edition, New York, HarperCollins, 2004, pp. 87-88
BT Song 1424 – Who am “I”
simple English
When everything
Becomes you only,
Where is the place
For any separate “I?”
Once you came
And Lord over me,
How can I have
Any separate identity?
Before I was created,
I belong to you.
Even after created,
I become yours.
Though I came alone
After formed in the womb,
As you only created me,
I become yours.
When any thought of
“Mine” came,
The question also came,
“Which one is mine?”
From the womb
Till the grave,
As everything was
Borrowed from others,
As the sense and breath
Have gone with the body,
Which one remains back
As my own?
Whoever might give
Any name for it,
Who can give any
Identity to it?
Finally, when I come
And stand before you,
How to tell that
“Who” has come before you?
Once you alone creating,
Sustaining and
Taking back again
With you,
How can
I say that
Finally “I” came
Before you?
Once the “I” has
Gone along with the body,
Surely it is not the “I”
Who came when I born.
Similarly, it is not
“I” that is
Coming to you
After my death.
Therefore, definitely,
“I am” not going
To give any
Answer to this.
As you formed the one
Which already belongs to you,
You take it back
Again, making it yours.
This slave now has
Understood only that,
But even it is not the “I”
That understood it.
Telling more than this
About it
Is almost impossible,
Is the truth now.
Gurukulam, 30-08-2022, 11.30 pm.
BT Song 1424 – Who am “I”
classical English
When everything
Becomes thee only,
Where is the place
For any separate “I?”
Once thou camest
And Lorded over me,
How can I have
Any separate identity?
Before I was created,
I belonged to thee.
Even after being created,
I became thine.
Though I came alone
After being formed in the womb,
As thou only created me,
I became thine.
When any thought of
“Mine” came,
The question also came,
“Which one is mine?”
From the womb
Till the grave,
As everything was
Borrowed from others,
As the sense and breath
Have gone with the body,
Which one remains back
As my own?
Whoever might give
Any name for it,
Who can give any
Identity to it?
Finally, when I come
And stand before thee,
How to tell that
“Who” has come before thee?
Once thou alone creating,
Sustaining and
Taking back again
With thee,
How can
I say that
Finally “I” came
Before thee?
Once the “I” has
Gone along with the body,
Surely it is not the “I”
Who came when I was born.
Similarly, it is not
“I” that is
Coming to thee
After my death.
Therefore, definitely,
“I am” not going
To give any
Answer to this.
As thou formed the one
Which already belongs to thee,
Thou takest it back
Again, making it thine.
This slave now has
Understood only that,
But even it is not the “I”
That understood it.
Telling more than this
About it
Is almost impossible,
Is the truth now.
Gurukulam, 30-08-2022, 11.30 pm.
BT Song 1425
I often feel that God repeatedly puts me through various trials in the name of refining me to mold me into a vessel useful for His seva. No matter how much He refines me, as iron will rust, I will also remain defiled by my nature. So, it is better for Him to rest, leaving me as I am, where I stand before Him as a simple bhakta, rather than trying to mold me into any noble vessel for His seva.
BT Song 1425 – Give Respite
simple English
Let me see
How long this will go.
I am doing
Only as per your will.
I never
Questioned you.
Even if I ask,
No answer will come.
Once the authority
Belongs to you,
What is the use
Of talking in vain?
When all the powers
Belong to you,
Where is any opportunity
For me to act independently?
Though you might have said
‘Finally everything will be
For my good,’
Where is my patience to wait?
How many trials came
In between, better you see.
Why not give in advance
What you decided to give?
Why are you
Delaying unnecessarily?
What is the need
To refine me,
By saying,
‘I am only purifying you?’
Would pure gold
Be useful ever?
Can we mold it
Without mixing copper?
You need not make me
Pure gold.
It is enough if you
Mold me mixing with copper.
It is enough if you
Mold me any vessel,
That might be of
Some use to you.
I will continue my seva
By remaining in a corner.
I never seek
A higher place.
Leaving this,
By saying,
‘I am going to
Exalt you.’
How many times
Will you put me in the furnace
And beat me
Again and again?
How many times
You might have
Heated the iron
And beat it repeatedly?
Finally you have to
Put it in the water.
Similarly, some kind of
End has to come for everything.
The fire has died
In the furnace,
And coal also
Runs out of stock.
Better you go
To take rest.
By this you give
Some respite to me
Gurukulam, 2-09-2022, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1425 – Grant Respite
Classical English
Let me see
How long this shall last.
I do only
According to thy will.
Never have I
Questioned thee.
Even if I ask,
No answer comes.
Once the authority
Belongs to thee,
What use is it
To speak in vain?
When all powers
Belong to thee,
Where is any chance
For me to act independently?
Though thou might have said
‘Finally, all shall be
For my good,’
Where is my patience to wait?
How many trials came
In between, better thou see.
Why not grant in advance
What thou hast resolved to give?
Why dost thou
Delay needlessly?
What need is there
To refine me,
By saying,
‘I am but purifying thee?’
Would pure gold
E’er be of use?
Can we mold it
Without mixing copper?
Thou needst not make me
Pure gold.
It suffices if thou
Mold me, mixed with copper.
It suffices if thou
Mold me into any vessel,
That may be of
Some use to thee.
I shall continue my service
By remaining in a corner.
Never do I seek
A higher place.
Leaving this,
By saying,
‘I am going to
Exalt thee.’
How many times
Wilt thou put me in the furnace
And beat me
Again and again?
How many times
Mightst thou have
Heated the iron
And beat it repeatedly?
Finally thou must
Quench it in water.
Similarly, some end
Must come for everything.
The fire hath died
In the furnace,
And coal too
Runs out of stock.
Better thou go
To take rest.
By this you give
Some respite to me
Gurukulam, 2-09-2022, 11.00 p.m.
BT Song 1421இதுவென்ன விளையாட்டு
நீயொரு காரியம்
மனதிலே கொண்டு
என்னிடம் சொல்லிப்
பயனில்லை என்று 1
நீயே காய்களை
நகர்த்தியும் வருகிறாய்
வேடிக்கை மட்டும்
பார்த்திடச் செய்கிறாய் 2
மாடத்தில் இருந்து
ஆட்டத்தைப் பார்த்தும்
மனதினில் சிலசில
நகவுர்கள் வந்திட 3
உனக்கும் சற்று
உதவலாம் என்று
மாடத்திலிருந்து
இறங்கி வந்தேன் 4
ஆயினும் ஆட்டத்தின்
விதிகளைக் காட்டி
நடுவர்கள் எனக்கு
அனுமதி மறுக்க 5
மீண்டும் மாடத்தின்
உயரத்தில் சென்று
நடக்கும் அனைத்தையும்
வேடிக்கைப் பார்த்தேன் 6
அதன்பின் எனக்கொரு
உண்மை புரிந்தது
ஆயினும் மனமதை
ஏற்றிட மறுத்தது 7
பலபலக் குழுக்கள்
தனித்தனியாக
எத்தனை ஆட்டத்தை
ஆடிய போதும் 8
அவர்கள் இடத்தில்
நீயே இருந்து
அவருக்கு நல்லது
எதுவெனப் புரிந்து 9
ஆட்டம் ஆட
நீயும் செய்தாய்
அதன்படி செய்தவர்
வெற்றியும் அடைந்தார் 10
ஆனால் எனது
ஆட்டம் மட்டும்
வெற்றி தோல்வி
இரண்டும் இன்றி 11
தோற்றவர் வென்றவர்
யாரெனத் தெரியாமல்
ஆட்டத்தை ஏனோ
முடித்துவைத்தாய் 12
உன்னிந்த ஆட்டம்
புதிதா என்ன
எத்தனை முறையே
ஆடியும் என்ன 13
தோற்கவும் விடாமல்
வெற்றியும் தராமல்
மீண்டும் ஆடச்
செய்வது என்ன 14
ஆயினும் ஆட்டத்தின்
நேரம் முடிந்தால்
ஏதோ ஒன்றை
அறிவிக்க வேண்டி 15
மீண்டும் ஆட்டம்
தொடரும் என்று
வீணாய் என்னை
வம்புக்கு இழுத்து 16
மீண்டும் ஒருமுறை
ஆடச் சொல்லி
நீயே காய்களை
நகர்த்தியும் கொண்டாய் 17
இறுதி வரையில்
ஆட விடாமல்
எதுவரை இந்தப்
பயிற்சியும் தருவாய் 18
என்னுடன் ஆடினால்
தோற்போம் என்று
அஞ்சியே இந்த
காரியம் செய்கிறாய் 19
ஒன்று என்னுடன்
ஆட வந்திடு
அல்லது என்னை
ஆட வைத்திடு 20
இரண்டும் இலாத
இதுவென்ன விளையாட்டு
ஏதோ செய்துகொள்
உனக்கிது விளையாட்டு 21
குருகுலம், 23-08-2022, காலை 4.30
BT Song 1422 என்னதான் முடிவு
முடிவென்ற ஒன்று
தெரியாமல் தவித்து
வாழ்வை நானும்
வாழ்ந்திடும் போது 1
முடிவொன்று தந்து
முடித்து வைப்பது
எவரது பொறுப்பு
என்று எண்ணு 2
முடிவிது என்று
நீயும் சொன்ன
முடிவினை எடுத்துச்
செயல்படும் போது 3
இடையினில் புகுந்து
தடைகளைப் போட்டு
தடுத்திடும் செயலைச்
செய்வது யாரு 4
சாத்தான் செயலிது
என்று சொல்லித்
தப்பிக்கும் வேலை
உனக்கு வேண்டாம் 5
அவனுக்கு என்னிடம்
வேலையே இல்லை
அதுவும் உனக்குத்
தெரியாமல் இல்லை 6
நானே எடுத்த
முடிவிது என்று
பழியை என்மேல்
போடவும் இயலாது 7
முடிவு எடுக்கும்
உரிமை எனக்கு
இதுவரை நீயும்
தராத போது 8
முடிவாக ஏதேனும்
முடிவொன்று சொல்லு
முடியாது போனால்
ஒதுங்கிக் கொள்ளு 9
அதுவும் இயலாது
முடிவும் தராது
இதுவென்ன விளையாட்டு
அதையேனும் சொல்லு 10
முடிவும் இல்லாத
தொடக்கம் இல்லை
என்பதைத் தொடங்கி
வைத்ததின் பின்னே 11
முடித்து வைக்க
முடியாது என்று
பிடிவாதம் பிடிப்பதின்
காரணம் சொல்லு 12
தெளிவும் அறியாது
முடிவும் தெரியாது
நிகழ்காலம் எதிர்காலம்
இரண்டும் இருந்தால் 13
முக்காலம் உணர்ந்த
இறைவன் என்று
பெயரை உனக்கு
வைத்தது யாரு 14
முதலிதற்கு
பதிலைச் சொல்க
அதன்பின் முடிந்தால்
முடிவைச் சொல்லு 15
முடியாது போனால்
முடிவை எடுக்கும்
உரிமையை முடிவாக
எனக்கும் தந்திடு 16
குருகுலம், 23-08-2022, காலை 7.00
BT Song 1423 நடத்திக் கொண்டாய்
உன்கரம் என்னை
உந்தித் தள்ள
உடன்பட்டு நானும்
உன்வழி செல்ல
நடத்திக் கொண்டாய்
காரியம் தன்னை
நானும் அடைந்தேன்
அதன் பலனை
எண்ணம் முழுதும்
நீயே நிறைந்து
அதன்பின் என்னை
யோசிக்க வைத்து
அதன்படி என்னை
செயல்பட வைத்தாய்
தயங்கி நின்றால்
உந்தித் தள்ளினாய்
சாதக பாதகம்
எண்ணிக் குழம்பி
செய்வதா விடுவதா
என்று பயந்து
தயங்கித் தயங்கித்
துவங்கிய போது
தயக்கம் நீக்கித்
துணையாய் வந்தாய்
துணிந்து நானும்
இறங்கிய போது
சூழ்நிலை தன்னை
சாதகம் ஆக்கி
உதவ என்று
தூதரை அனுப்பி
செயலை நீயே
முடித்தும் வைத்தாய்
இதுதான் எனது
வாழ்வில் நடந்தது
இதுவே இன்னும்
தொடர்ந்து நடக்குது
முழுதாய் உன்னிடம்
தஞ்சம் அடைந்தால்
முடிவு என்றும்
நலமாய் அமையுது
எஞ்சிய வாழ்வும்
இதுபோல் நடக்கும்
என்பதை மட்டும்
நானும் அறிவேன்
என்னை முற்றாய்
உன்னிடம் தந்து
நீயே செயல்பட
சம்மதம் தந்தேன்
குருகுலம், 27-08-2022, இரவு 11.30
BT Song 1424 “நான்” யார்?
நீயே எல்லாம்
ஆயிடும் போது
நானென்ற சொல்லுக்கு
இடமும் ஏது
நீவந்து என்னை
ஆட்கொண்ட பின்னே
நானென்ற அடையாளம்
தனியாக ஏது
உருவாகும் முன்னே
உனதாக இருந்தேன்
உருவான பின்னும்
உனதாக ஆனேன்
கருவாக உருவாகி
தனியாக வந்தாலும்
உருவாக்கி வைத்ததால்
உனதாகிப் போனேன்
எனதென்ற எண்ணம்
வந்திடும் போது
எது எனதென்ற
கேள்வியும் வந்தது
கருவறைத் தொடங்கி
கல்லரை வரையில்
அனைத்தும் இரவல்
என்பதில் வந்தது
உயிரும் உணர்வும்
உடலோடு போக
எனதென எதுதான்
எஞ்சி நிற்ப்பது
அதற்கொரு பெயரை
எவர் தந்தாலும்
அதற்கான அடையாளம்
தருவது யாரு
எல்லாம் முடிந்து
உன்முன் இறுதியில்
வந்து சேர்வது
“யார்” எனச்சொல்வது
நீயே படைத்து
நீயே முடித்து
நீயே எடுத்துக்
கொண்ட பின்னே
உன்னிடம் வந்து
சேர்ந்தேன் நானும்
என்று எப்படி
“நானும்” சொல்வது
வரும்போது வந்தது
நிச்சயம் நானில்லை
உடலோடு “நானும்”
சென்ற பின்னாலே
உன்திடம் வருவதும்
நிச்சயம் “நானில்லை”
என்பது மட்டும்
எனக்குப் புரியுது
ஆகவே இதற்கு
பதிலென ஒன்று
நிச்சயம் தருவது
“நானுமே” இல்லை
உனதான ஒன்றை
[உருவாக்கித் தந்து]
உருவாக்கி வைத்து
மீண்டும் “உனதாக்கி”
நீயுமே கொண்டாய்
அதைமட்டும் இப்போது
அடிமை புரிந்தேன்
ஆயினும் அதுவும்
“நானில்லை” என்றேன்
இதற்கு மேலாக
இதுபற்றி சொல்வது
இயலாது என்பதே
இதிலுள்ள உண்மை
குருகுலம்,30-08-2022, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1425 விடுதலைத் தா
எதுவரை போகும்
நானும் பார்க்கிறேன்
உன்சித்தம் எதுவோ
அதையே செய்கிறேன்
ஏனென்று கேள்வி
கேட்டதும் இல்லை
கேட்டாலும் பதிலேதும்
வரப்போவதில்லை
இராஜாங்கம் உனதாக
ஆனதின் பின்னே
வீணாகப் பேசிப்
பயனுமே என்ன
அதிகாரம் அனைத்தும்
உனதாகும் போது
அதைமீறி செய்திட
வாய்ப்புமே ஏது
இறுதியில் எனக்கு
நல்லதே நடக்கும்
என்று எத்தனை
நீ சொன்ன போதும்
அதுவரை காத்திட
பொறுமையும் ஏது
இடையில் எத்தனை
போராட்டம் பாரு
கொடுப்பதை முன்பே
கொடுத்தால் என்ன
வீணாகத் தாமதம்
செய்வதும் என்ன
புடமிட்டு உரசிப்
பார்க்கிறேன் என்று
உருக்கிப் பார்த்திட
தேவையும் என்ன
கலப்பற்ற தங்கம்
நகைக்கு உதவுமா
செம்பு கலக்காமல்
வளைக்க இயலுமா
சொக்கத் தங்கமாய்
மாற்ற வேண்டாம்
செம்பு கலந்து
வனைந்தால் போதும்
உனக்கு ஏற்ற
பாத்திரமாக நீ
உருவாக்கி என்னை
வைத்தால் போதும்
ஓரமாய் இருந்தே
சேவை செய்வேன்
உயர்ந்த இடமும்
நானும் வேண்டேன்
அதனை விடுத்து
உயர்த்திப் பிடிக்க
ஆயத்தம் செய்கிறேன்
என்று சொல்லி
எத்தனை முறைதான்
உலையில் இடுவாய்
பழுக்கவே காய்ச்சி
மீண்டும் அடிப்பாய்
எத்தனை முறையே
இரும்பைக் காய்ச்சினும்
மீண்டும் மீண்டும்
அடித்த போதும்
நீரில் அதையும்
போடத்தான் வேண்டும்
எதற்கொரு முடிவு
வந்திட வேண்டும்
உலையில் நெருப்பும்
அணைந்தே போச்சு
கரியும் இங்கே
தீர்ந்தும் போச்சு
ஒய்வு எடுக்க
நீயும் போயிடு
அப்படியாவது எனக்கு
விடுதலைத் தந்திடு
குருகுலம், 2-09-2022, இரவு, 11.00
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