BT Song 1591
Another tussle between me and God. This time, I rebuked, threatened, and complained, then surrendered and reminded Him that no matter how estranged we become from each other, there is no hope for us to get separated. Sri Vainshnavas fortunate as their deity Vishnu has a wife Sri to whom they can take all their request and prayers to intercede for them with Him. There is no chance for that to us. So it is It is better for the Lord to learn to accept me as I am.
BT Song 1591 It Won’t Happen Anymore
Simple English
1
What else
Can I do now?
Honestly,
I have no idea.
2
I complained,
But no one listened.
I got angry,
But it was useless.
3
I was furious,
But it didn’t affect you.
I ignored you,
But you didn’t change.
4
Realizing again
That none of this
Was helpful,
I understood.
5
Thinking maybe
I could do
What I usually do
One more time.
6
I bent down,
Stood humbly,
Folded my hands,
But you weren’t moved.
7
If you had a companion,
I could talk to her
And file a complaint.
8
But there is
No way for that,
No one understands
Whom to talk to.
9
Living with you
Is hard,
No need for
Conversations.
10
If I could leave you,
I would,
But you
Won’t allow it.
11
Then I realized
One thing,
It’s the bond
Between us.
12
No matter what friction,
Cracks, or
Daily conflicts
May come.
13
One cannot live
Without the other,
Now or ever,
It won’t happen.
14
So we must
Compromise,
Living together
Is always best for us.
GURUGULAM, 3-4-2024, Night, 7:15 PM
BT Song 1591 It Shall Not Occur Henceforth
Classical English
1
What more
Might I undertake now?
Verily,
I know not a thing.
2
I raised my grievances,
Yet none heeded.
I became enraged,
But to no avail.
3
I harbored fury,
Yet you were unmoved.
I showed indifference,
Yet you remained unchanged.
4
Recognizing anew
That none of these
Were of any benefit,
I comprehended.
5
Pondering perhaps
To repeat once more
What is customary,
Thinking thus.
6
I prostrated,
Stood in humility,
Folded my hands,
Yet you remained unmoved.
7
Had you a companion ,
I might have spoken
To Her and lodged
My complaint.
8
But for that too,
There exists no way,
None understand
Whom to approach.
9
To coexist with you
Is arduous,
Neither you nor I
Need to converse.
10
If I might abandon you,
I would,
Yet you leave
No path for that.
11
Then did I discern
A singular truth,
It is the bond
Betwixt us.
12
Be it friction,
Cracks, or
Daily disputes,
No matter what comes.
13
One cannot
Without the other live,
Now and forever,
It shall not occur.
14
Thus must we
Both concede,
For living together
Is ever best for us.
GURUGULAM, 3-4-2024, Night, 7:15 PM
BT Song 1592
When I read the following line, inspired by the illustration that I am filled but still leaking, I wrote this song. This is true for every bhakta, continuously receiving the grace of God, though there is a continuous leakage within us.
Asked whether he was filled with the Spirit, Dwight L. Moody replied, “Yes. But I leak.” — Philip Yancey, Reaching for the Invisible God, Secunderabad, OM Books, 2014, pp. 187-188
BT Song 1592 The Vessel with Cracks
Simple English
1
Grace is given
To those unworthy.
To receive it,
Grace is bestowed.
2
Even though I,
Who receive it,
Am like a vessel
Full of cracks.
3
It leaks a lot,
Reducing gradually.
Daily refilling
Is also grace.
4
What merit
Did you find in me,
To search for me
And come to me?
5
You found in me
Only the quality
Of being unworthy.
6
You conceal from the wise
And bless the foolish,
I saw that greatness
In you.
7
I saw your play
Of raising the lowly
And lowering the high.
8
I lament myself
As a vessel
That helps in nothing.
9
Yet, when you
Pour your grace,
It overflows and
Runs abundantly.
10
Becoming a vessel
Fit for you,
I shall receive
Your full grace.
11
To bear that grace
Daily,
I shall live in you
And finish my race.
GURUGULAM, 4-4-2024, Night, 11.30 PM
BT Song 1592 The Vessel with Cracks
Classical English
1
To the unworthy,
Grace is given.
To receive,
Grace is bestowed.
2
Yet I,
Who receive it,
Am like a vessel
Filled with cracks.
3
It leaks greatly,
Reducing slowly.
Daily refilling
Is also grace.
4
What merit
Did you find in me,
That you sought me
And came to me?
5
You found in me
Only the quality
Of being unworthy.
6
You conceal from the wise
And bless the foolish,
I saw that excellence
In you.
7
I witnessed your play
Of exalting the lowly
And humbling the high.
8
I lament myself
As a vessel
That avails nothing.
9
Yet, when you
Pour your grace,
It overflows and
Runs abundantly.
10
Becoming a vessel
Worthy of you,
I shall receive
Your complete grace.
11
To bear that grace
Each day,
I shall live in you
And finish my race.
GURUGULAM, 4-4-2024, Night, 11.30 PM
BT Song 1593
Bhakti helps a bhakta stay grounded, avoiding claims of esoteric experiences that separate them from regular life as if living in outer space with the Lord. Bhakti is a relationship, and it will have all the traits of relationships we have with others. Just as familiarity breeds contempt, this can also be true with God. But just as we don’t constantly recall our relationship with our own family members who live under the same roof or far away, we experience that relationship in every part of life. A bhakta feels the same with God. As Abhirami Bhattar said, “Standing, walking, sitting, lying down; I always think about you.” True bhakti will do the same while living an ordinary life.
BT Song 1593 Why Should We Think?
Simple English
1
Why should we frequently
Think of Him
Who is always
With us?
2
Why should we always
Ask Him for anything
When He helps us
Without fail?
3
When living with
Our relatives,
Do we constantly
Think of them?
4
When living with
Family in a house,
Do we always
Talk to them?
5
Even when separated
By distance,
We remain connected
By thought.
6
Living together
Under one roof,
Where is the
Separation in this?
7
Therefore, should we
Frequently think of God
And set aside time
Just for that?
8
How does this argument
Hold when
He is always
With us?
9
It is said that
Familiarity breeds contempt,
Even in relationships.
10
If it applies to all
Relationships,
Why is He
An exception?
11
Just like in relationships,
Coming together and parting,
Quarreling and making up,
12
Living with Him
Is enough,
That is true
Devotion.
GURUGULAM, 5-4-2024, Afternoon 2:30
BT Song 1593 Why Should We Contemplate?
Classical English
1
Why should we often
Contemplate Him
Who always
Abides with us?
2
Why should we always
Petition Him for aught
When He aids us
Without fail?
3
When residing with
Our kin,
Do we continually
Reflect on them?
4
When dwelling with
Family in a home,
Do we always
Converse with them?
5
Even when distance
Separates us,
We remain connected
In thought.
6
Living together
Beneath one roof,
Wherein lies the
Separation here?
7
Thus, should we
Frequently ponder upon God
And allot time
Solely for that?
8
How does this argument
Hold when
He perpetually
Abides with us?
9
It is said that
Familiarity breeds contempt,
Even in relationships.
10
If this holds true for all
Relationships,
Why should He
Be an exception?
11
Just as in relationships,
Coming together and parting,
Quarreling and reconciling,
12
Living with Him
Is sufficient,
That is true
Devotion.
GURUGULAM, 5-4-2024, Afternoon 2:30
BT Song 1594
Though I am not against keeping separate ‘quiet’ time, I don’t believe that everyone should follow that sadhana. As Abhirami Bhattar well said, “By standing, walking, sitting, and lying down, I always think about you.” Where is the need to separately ‘remember’ God and allocate specific time for it? I read that in some monk orders [Benedictine], they take a break each hour to think about God. Oh my God! Do we do the same in our homes? Do we take a break each hour to think or talk to our family members? After the invasion of gadgets, the Internet, and social media, we now all live like islands in our own homes. Given this situation, who will follow the discipline of remembering our relationship with other family members, pausing each hour to chat for a few minutes? In this normal life pattern, taking time to think or fellowship with God seems like an artificial sadhana, though many require that discipline until they grow to always abide in the presence of God. For me, I abide in His presence, and that is my sadhana—no, it is my very life.
@… Later, I learned I had accidentally stumbled on an old technique of Benedictine monks, who would stop and say the hour prayer every time the clock chimed. With the help of such markers during the day, remembering God can gradually become a habit. — Philip Yancey, Reaching for the Invisible God, Secunderabad, OM Books, 2014, p. 204. [But even such a practice is not going to help. Abiding in God and being aware that you are living in Him is more than enough for practicing the presence of God. — db]
BT Song 1594 Must Become a Child
1
When you look after
And provide for me,
Why should I seek
And go anywhere?
2
When you seek
And come to me,
Why should I seek
And go anywhere?
3
Is there any child
That knows its needs
And when they arise?
4
Is there a mind
That even knows
What it needs?
5
When there is a mother
To care for it,
How can that feeling arise?
6
Yet as a child
Grows and grows,
That feeling
Multiplies and increases.
7
Therefore, I too
Should rely on you,
And become a child
Desiring this boon.
8
Then the mind
Seeking other needs
Will vanish
Within me.
9
Looking after me,
You raised me
As your child,
So I must change.
10
Like a child
Growing in its mother’s embrace,
Living in your shadow,
I too must live.
11
As a child
Crawling in your lap,
I must remain
Until the end.
GURUGULAM, 10-4-2024, 11:15 PM
BT Song 1594 Must Become a Child
Classical English
1
When thou dost watch
And provide for me,
Wherefore should I seek
And go anywhere?
2
When thou dost seek
And come to me,
Wherefore should I seek
And go anywhere?
3
Is there any child
That knows its needs
And when they arise?
4
Is there a mind
That even knows
What it needs?
5
When there is a mother
To care for it,
How can that feeling arise?
6
Yet as a child
Grows and grows,
That feeling
Multiplies and increases.
7
Therefore, I too
Should rely on thee,
And become a child
Desiring this boon.
8
Then the mind
Seeking other needs
Will vanish
Within me.
9
Watching over me,
Thou didst raise me
As thy child,
So I must change.
10
Like a child
Growing in its mother’s embrace,
Living in thy shadow,
I too must live.
11
As a child
Crawling in thy lap,
I must remain
Until the end.
GURUGULAM, 10-4-2024, 11:15 PM
BT Song 1595
Someone once wisely said that God does not have grandchildren. All bhaktas are Her children, and God will take the very identity each individual bhakta wants to see in Her. She could be anyone—Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Friend, Master, Servant, Acharya, Guru, etc. So, when anyone asks which God I worship, I say I don’t worship any God but only my Guru. If you want to call Him God, neither I nor He has any objection. But I am happy that He always remains my Guru.
When a Christian asked me, “Are you still worshipping the God of the Bible?” I replied, “According to you, there are several Gods according to each scripture or tradition. Then you don’t worship the God of your Bible even.”
There is no point in sharing further on this subject. It is better to remain a mystery to each and every bhakta. Not even silence can fully encompass understanding all about God.
God is ready to adapt to our needs. She will reveal Herself in the name or form in which we seek Her. No religion, scripture, theology, philosophy, theory, or particular approach can limit Her. Out of our limitation and ignorance, we try to trap Her with a particular identity, explaining in our own technical terms using theology based on our specific scripture. But She transcends all these and remains as She is—the Great: I AM WHO AM I. For me, She is my Guru, and I am happy with that. In my relationship with Her, She is my mother. The rest are meaningless to Her and purposeless for me.
BT Song 1595 Identity
Simple English
1
Not knowing who you were,
I came to you.
Not understanding why,
I spoke to you.
2
Until now, I didn’t know
Who you were,
Nor did I ask
About it.
3
I found the guru
I was seeking in you.
You showed me
A clear path.
4
After I found
My identity in you,
I forgot to ask
About your identity.
5
Who needs
What kind of identity
Is something
I didn’t even consider.
6
After finding
My identity in you,
I didn’t ask
What your identity was.
7
The world gave you
An identity,
And a name
Along with it.
8
When I asked you
About it,
You silently smiled,
And then I understood.
9
“Whoever needed
Any identity,
They called me
Accordingly.
10
I didn’t reject
Any of it,
But I also
Didn’t accept it
11
What identity
You need from me
Is something
You must decide.
12
Don’t accept
What others give,
Nor reject
What you need.”
13
After you said this,
I stood in silence,
And accepted you as my guru,
Bowing to you.
GURUGULAM, 11-4-2024, 3:30 PM
BT Song 1595 Identity
Classical English
1
Knowing not who thou art,
I came unto thee.
Understanding not why,
I spoke unto thee.
2
Until now, I knew not
Who thou art,
Nor did I inquire
Concerning it.
3
I found the guru
I sought in thee.
Thou didst show me
A clear path.
4
After I found
My identity in thee,
I forgot to inquire
Concerning thine.
5
Who needs
What kind of identity
Is something
I did not ponder.
6
After finding
My identity in thee,
I did not inquire
What thine identity was.
7
The world gave thee
An identity,
And a name
Along with it.
8
When I asked thee
About it,
Thou didst smile silently,
And then I understood.
9
“Whoever needed
Any identity,
They called me
Accordingly.
10
I rejected not
Any of it,
Yet I also
Accepted it not.
11
What identity
Thou requirest of me
Is something
Thou must decide.
12
Accept not
What others give,
Nor reject
What thou needest.”
13
After thou spokest thus,
I stood in silence,
And accepted thee as my guru,
Bowing unto thee.
GURUGULAM, 11-4-2024, 3:30 PM
BT Song 1591 இனி நடக்காது
1
இன்னும் என்ன
செய்வது என்று
உண்மையில் எனக்கு
ஒன்றும் தெரியலை
2
குறை சொன்னேன்
கேட்கவில்லை
கோபப்பட்டேன்
பயன் இல்லை
3
ஆத்திரம் கொண்டேன்
அசரவில்லை
அலட்சியம் செய்தேன்
மாறவில்லை
4
இவற்றால் எவ்வித
பயனும் இல்லை
என்பதை மீண்டும்
உணர்ந்துகொண்டு
5
வழக்கம் போல
செய்வதை ஒருமுறை
மீண்டும் செய்யலாம்
என்று எண்ணி
6
குழைந்து குனிந்து
பணிந்து நின்று
கும்பிட்டு போட்டும்
மசியவில்லை
7
உனக்கொரு துணை
இருந்திருந்தால்
அவரிடம் சொல்லி
முறையிடலாம்
8
என்றால் அதற்கும்
வழி இல்லை
எவரிடம் சொல்ல
புரியவில்லை
9
உன்னுடன் வாழ்வது
கடினம் என்று
உனக்கும் எனக்கும்
பேச்சு வேண்டாம்
10
என்று ஒதுக்கி
போகலாம் என்றால்
அதற்கும் வழியை
நீ விடவில்லை
11
அதன்பின் புரிந்தது
எனக்கு ஒன்று
அதுதான் நமக்குள்ள
பந்தம் என்று
12
உரசல் விரிசல்
எது வந்தாலும்
ஊடல் கூடல்
தினம் நடந்தாலும்
13
ஒருவர் இன்றி
ஒருவர் வாழ
இன்றும் என்றும்
இனி நடக்காது
14
ஆகவே இருவரும்
விட்டுக்கொடுத்து
வாழ்வதே நமக்கு
என்றும் நல்லது
குருகுலம், 3-4-2024, இரவு, 7.15
BT Song 1592 விரிசல் பாத்திரம்
1
தகுதி அற்றோர்க்கு
தருவது கிருபை
பெற்றிடத் தகுதி
அருள்வது கிருபை
2
ஆயினும் அதனை
பெற்றிடும் நானும்
விரிசல் நிறைந்த
பாத்திரம் ஆனதால்
3
அதிகம் கசிந்து
குறையக் குறைய
அனுதினம் புதிதாய்
நிறைப்பதும் கிருபை
4
எந்தத் தகுதி
என்னிடம் கண்டு
என்னைத் தேடி
நீயும் வந்தாய்
5
தகுதி அற்றவன்
என்ற தகுதியை
மட்டும் என்னிடம்
நீயும் கண்டாய்
6
ஞானிக்கு மறைத்து
பேதைக்கு அருளும்
மேன்மை அங்கு
உன்னிடம் கண்டேன்
7
தாழ்ந்தோர் உயர
உயர்ந்தோர் தாழ
செய்யும் உனது
லீலையைக் கண்டேன்
8
ஒன்றுக்கும் உதவா
பாத்திரம் என்று
என்னை நானே
நொந்து கொள்ள
9
அதிலும் உனது
அருளை ஊற்ற
ததும்பி வழிந்து
ஓடக் கண்டேன்
10
உனக்கு ஏற்ற
பாத்திரம் ஆகி
உனது அருளை
நிறைப் பெறுவேன்
11
அந்த கிருபை
அனுதினம் தாங்க
உன்னில் வாழ்ந்து
ஓட்டத்தை முடிப்பேன்
குருகுலம், 4-4-2024, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 1593 ஏன் நினைக்கணும்
1
எப்போதும் நம்மோடு
இருக்கிற அவனை
எதற்காக அடிக்கடி
நினைத்துப் பார்க்கணும்
2
தப்பாமல் நமக்கு
உதவிடும் அவனிடம்
எப்போதும் எதற்காக
எதையேனும் கேட்கணும்
3
உற்றார் உறவோடு
வாழ்கிற போது
அடிக்கடி அவரை
நினைதா பார்க்கிறோம்
4
ஒரு வீட்டில் உறவோடு
வாழும் போது
எப்போதும் அவரோடு
பேசவா செய்கிறோம்
5
ஒருவரில் ஒருவர்
உறவால் இணைந்து
உடலால் பிரிந்தாலும்
மனதால் நினைத்து
6
ஒரு கூரைகீழ்
ஒன்றாக வாழ
பிரிவு இதிலே
வருவது எங்கே
7
ஆகவே இறைவனை
அடிக்கடி நினைக்கணும்
அதற்காக நேரம்
தனியே ஒதுக்கணும்
8
என்கிற வாதம்
எப்படிப் பொருந்தும்
எப்போதும் அவன்
நம்மோடு இருக்க
9
பழகப் பழக
பாலும் புளிக்கும்
என்பது உறவுக்கு
சொன்ன ஒன்று
10
எல்லா உறவுக்கும்
பொருந்தும் போது
அவனுக்கு மட்டும்
விதிவிலக்கேது
11
ஆகவே உறவிலே
நடப்பது போல
இணைந்து பிரிந்து
ஊடிக் கூடி
12
அவனோடு வாழ்ந்தால்
அதுவே போதும்
அதுதான் மெய்யான
பக்தியும் ஆகும்
குருகுலம், 5-4-2024, மதியம் 2.30
BT Song 1594 குழந்தையாக மாறணும்
1
நீயாகப் பார்த்து
தந்திடும் போது
நானாகத் தேடி
எங்கு போகணும்
2
நீயாகத் தேடி
வருகிற போது
நானாகத் தேடி
ஏனிப் போகணும்
3
என்னென்ன தேவை
எப்போது என்று
அறிந்த குழவி
ஒன்றேனும் உண்டோ
4
இதுதான் தேவை
என்பதைக் கூட
அறிகிற மனது
அதற்கும் உண்டோ
5
அதற்கொரு தாயும்
இருக்கும் போது
அந்த உணர்வு
எப்படி வந்திடும்
6
ஆயினும் பிள்ளை
வளர வளர
அந்த உணர்வு
பல்கிப் பெருகும்
7
ஆகவே நானும்
உன்னையே சாரும்
குழவியாய் மாறும்
வரமும் வேண்டும்
8
அதன்பின் மற்ற
தேவைகள் நாடும்
மனதும் என்னுள்
மறைந்து போக
9
பார்த்து காத்து
நீயே வளர்த்த
உனது குழவியாய்
நானும் மாறி
10
அன்னை அணைப்பில்
வளரும் பிள்ளையாய்
உனது நிழலில்
நானும் வாழ்ந்து
11
உனது மடியில்
தவழும் மகவாய்
இறுதி வரையில்
இருக்க வேண்டும்
குருகுலம், 10-4-2024, 11.15 இரவு
BT Song 1595 அடையாளம்
1
யாரென்று தெரியாது
உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
ஏனென்று புரியாது
உன்னிடம் பேசினேன்
2
இதுவரை யாரென்று
தெரியவும் இல்லை
அதுபற்றி உன்னிடம்
கேட்கவும் இல்லை
3
தேடிய குருவை
உன்னிடம் கண்டேன்
தெளிவான வழியை
நீயும் காட்டினாய்
4
எனக்கொரு அடையாளம்
உன்னிடம் கண்டபின்
உனது அடையாளம்
கேட்க மறந்தேன்
5
யாருக்கு எந்த
அடையாளம் தேவை
என்பதைக் கூட
யோசித்துப் பார்க்கல
6
எனக்கொரு அடையாளம்
உன்னிடம் கண்டபின்
உனது அடையாளம்
எதுவென கேட்கல
7
உனக்கொரு அடையாளம்
உலகம் தந்தது
அதற்கொரு பெயரும்
அதுவும் வைத்தது
8
அதுபற்றி உன்னிடம்
நான் கேட்ட போது
அமைதியாய் நகைக்க
அதன்பின் புரிந்தது
9
“எவருக்கு எந்த
அடையாளம் தேவையோ
அதன்படி அவரவர்
என்னையும் அழைத்தார்
10
அதையும் நானும்
புறக்கவும் இல்லை
ஆயினும் அதையும்
ஏற்கவும் இல்லை
11
உனக்கென்ன அடையாளம்
என்னிடம் வேண்டும்
என்பதை நீதான்
முடிவு செய்யணும்
12
அடுத்தவர் தந்ததை
ஏற்கவும் வேண்டாம்
உனக்கான தேவையை
மறுக்கவும் வேண்டாம்”
13
என்றவன் சொன்னபின்
மவுனமாய் நின்றேன்
எனக்குநீ குருவென
பணிந்து கொண்டேன்
குருகுலம், 11-4-2024, 3.30 மாலை
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