BT Song 431
In the Hindi mandali when the question was raised about the need for proper rest, I wrote this song. Two days ago I watched one interesting program in Animal Planet about the sleeping behavior among them. For me both ‘sleep and death’ are the best gifts that God gave to us and we need to celebrate both of them.
BT Song 431 ஓய்வு
உடலுக்கும் மனதிற்கும் ஓய்வு வேண்டும்
ஓயாமல் உழைத்தாலே உளுத்துப் போகும்
ஆறுநாள் படைத்தவன் அடுத்தநாள் ஓய்ந்தானே
அதுபோல் நம்மையும் இருக்கத்தான் சொன்னானே
உறக்கம் போல் உடலுக்கு ஓய்வுமேயில்லை
உறக்கத்தை இழந்தாலே எல்லாமே தொல்லை
உள்ளாக அமைதியும் இல்லாவிட்டால்
உறங்கியும் எவ்விதப் பயனுமே இல்லை
மாத்திரைப் போட்டுமே தூங்கியும் பார்க்கிறார்
உள்ளான அமைதியை இழந்ததினாலே
ஓடி உழைத்து தேடியும் பார்க்கிறார்
உண்மையில் அமைதியை அறியாததாலே
சும்மா இருப்பது ஓய்வுமே இல்லை
சோம்பிக் கிடப்பதால் பயனேதும் இல்லை
உடலோடு மனதுக்கும் ஓய்வுமே வேண்டும்
அது இல்லாமல் பயனேதும் ஓய்விலே காணும்
இயற்கையோடு இரண்டறக் கலக்கலாம்
இறைவனோடு தனிமையில் இருக்கலாம்
இயன்றவரை மனிதரைத் தவிர்த்துச்
சற்றேனும் தனிமையில் மெளனமும் காக்கலாம்
ஆயினும் இவை மட்டும் ஓய்வைத் தராது
ஆன்மாவில் அமைதியைக் காணாத வரை
அதை வெளியில் தேடிப் பயனுமே இல்லை
அவனோடு தொடர்புமே இல்லாத வரை
17-5-16, மத்திகிரி, காலை 11.00
BT Song 431 Rest
Rest is needed both for the mind and body
If we work without rest the life will become rotten one
The one who created for six days took rest the next day
And He commanded us to do the same
There is no better rest than like sleeping
Once we get lost it everything become troublesome
Without having inner peace
There is no use of sleeping much
As many have lost their inner peace
They try to sleep by taking pills
They run pillar to post and toil much
Without understanding the nature of True peace
Remaining lazy is not taking rest
There is no use becoming lazy too
We need give rest to our body along with our mind
Without that there is no use in taking rest
We can mingle with nature
And can remain alone with God
Avoiding human beings as much as possible
We can keep quiet remaining in solitude
But these alone won’t give the needed rest
Unless we realize peace in our ‘atman’
Unless we have communication with Him
There is no use of searching it outside
17-5-16, Mathigiri, 11. 00 am.
BT Song 432
As I was walking in the night in the hall, I began to think of the things that I have to buy and take to the ashram. Already I prepared one (provisions, veg., personal things, and medicine, miscellaneous, separately for my mother) long list which ran more than three pages (with double column). After my walk as I become tired in my mind, I cannot read any more. So I began to make the list. That time another kind of tiredness came in my mind. Though the spirit is willing, the body is not co-operating. Of course others are there to help, but all are limited in one way and finally the burden comes to my shoulder. Taking care of my aged mother is a huge responsibility and going to the ashram where I need to take care of everything adds that burden. Though others may step in and can do their best, they cannot understand the burden that I carry and the tiredness that I feel. Either I should be in the ashram permanently or at Mathigiri. And making a shuttle between the two became a burden rather than a joyful seva. As I thought about it, I wrote this song expressing that mood.
BT Song 432 சுமை
என்ன நான் சொல்ல
ஏதுதான் செய்ய
என்னுள்ளே தவிக்கிறேன்
வேறென்ன சொல்ல
பொறுப்பென வந்தது
பாரமாய் போனது
சுமக்க முடியாத
நிலையும் வந்தது
விரும்பித் தேடல
வேண்டிக் கேட்கல
ஆயினும் பிறர்க்காய்ச்
சுமக்க முடியல
இறக்கி வைக்க
என்னால முடியல
இறக்கி விட்டிட
யாருமே கிடைக்கல
புரிந்திடும் நிலையிலே
மற்றவர் இல்ல
புரிந்தாலும் உதவ
அவருமே இல்ல
யாரைச் சொல்லியும்
குத்தமும் இல்ல
எவர் மீது குறையும்
கூற முடியல
ஒருவர் பாரம்
மற்றவர் சுமக்க
அவரவர் பாரம்
அவரவர் சுமக்க
நியதியை கூட
இறைவனே வைத்தான்
விடையும் அவனே
தந்து காப்பான்
அதுவரை சுமக்கத்
தெம்பும் அளிப்பான்
அதிகம் ஆனால்
இறக்கியும் வைப்பான்
இதனை உணர்ந்து
சுமக்கத் துணிந்தால்
ஏற்ற சமயம்
வந்து காப்பான்.
மத்திகிரி, 17-5-16, இரவு, 11.30
BT Song 432 Burden
What can I say?
And what else can I do
And I am get frustrated within me
And what to say further
The responsibility which came
Become a burden now
And a situation has come
As I cannot carry it anymore
I never asked for it
And never sought with eagerness
But I cannot carry the burden
For others sake any more
I cannot unload it
And it is not possible for me
And I cannot find anyone
Who will unload my burden?
They are not
In a position to understand this
Even if they understand
They cannot help much
There is no point
Of blaming anyone
I cannot complain
Against anyone
Others might help
To carry our burden
And we need to carry
Our own burden
And God alone has
Arranged this rule
And finally He will
Give some kind of answer to this
Till that time
He will give strength to carry
And once it become too much
He will unload it from me
Understanding this
If I am willing to carry
He will come and help
In His own time.
Mathigiri, 17-5-16, 11.30 pm.
BT Song 433
Even from my High school days, I was interested to read and memorise Tamil Siddha’s songs. Though I never understood their teaching properly, their simple language and the way they challenged conventional (orthodoxy) thoughts very much attracted me. After becoming the bhakta of the Lord, I got the complete work of Siddhas and read. After reading one or two times, I memorized many of their songs. Though their language was simple, it was not easy to understand them as they used esoteric words with hidden meanings.
As I am reading another book on Siddhas by Prof. T. N. Ganapathy (The Philosophy of The Tamil Siddhas, Indian Council of Philosophical research, New Delhi, 1993), the way he explained in minute details about their philosophy helped me to understand so many of their terms. Particularly the chapter: Mysticism of the Siddhas draws much my attention. And when I was reading the following, I immediately closed the book and wrote this song:
The term ‘vetaveli’ has a very special meaning in Tamil Siddha literature. It stands for the indescribability of the mystic experience. It is anirvacaniya….(p.151)….The Soddha view of indescribability as enshrined in the doctrine of vettaveli may be put in the words of Vidyapati, the Vaisnavia saint: “Don’t ask, I know; ask, I know not.”93 This is stated by many Tamil Siddhas as those who know cannot explain and those who explain do not know really…..—pp. 151-52
93{Quoted by S. Bhattacharya, Saivism and the Phalic World, 2 Vols. New Delhi: Oxford & IBH Publishing Co., 1975. In the bibliography it is Bhattacharyya, B.—db} Vol. I, p. 377.}
BT Song 433 புரிந்தது
புரியாதது புரிந்தது
புரியாதெனப் புரிந்தது
புரிந்ததைக் கூறிடவே
தெரியா திருந்தது
புரியாதெனப் புரிந்தாலே
புரியவும் தொடங்கலாம்
புரியத் தொடங்கியபின்
புரியாதெனப் புரியலாம்
புரிகின்ற படியாகவே
பிறர் கூறிடும் எல்லாம்
புரியாதெனப் புகன்றிடவே
புரிந்த சில செய்யலாம்
புரியாததை புரிய வழி
புவி வாழ்வில் இல்லை
பிறர்க்குப் புரியவைத்தால்
பயனேதும் இல்லை
பிறர் பசிக்கு தான் புசிக்க
பயனேதும் இல்லை
பிறர் பருக நாம் பார்க்கத்
தாகம் தீர்வதில்லை
வாய்மூடி மவுனியாய்
வாழ்கின்ற பேரே
கூறாமல் புரியவைக்கும்
ஞானி என்போரே
பல பேசி பல கூறும்
பேதை ஆகாமல்
வாய் மூடி இருந்தாலே
ஞானி ஆவீரே
அவரவர் தம் நிலைக்கு
ஏற்றபடி முயல
அவர் மீது அவனிரங்கி
அருள்வான் அதுபோலே
அவனருள் நாமறிய
வாழ்கின்ற போது
வீணாக அதைக் கூற
வார்த்தை இனியேது
இப்போ புரிந்தது
இந்த ரகசியம்
இதன்பிறகு நானெழுத
என்ன அவசியம்
18-5-16, மத்திகிரி, மதியம் 1-45
It is really difficult to translate this song in English, as the Tamil Word for ‘understanding’ is used in different ways.
BT Song 433 Understood
(I)Understood which remain un-understandable
That I cannot understand it
And unable to say
What I really understood.
Once we understood that we cannot understand
Then we will begin to understand
Once we understood it,
We will understand that we cannot understand it
All that others shared
For us to understand
Is it nothing but to communicate?
That we cannot understand
There is no way on earth
For us to understand which remain un-understandable
If we try to help others to understand it
There is no use in it
Can we eat for others?
When they are hungry
If others drink water for us
Our thirst won’t be quenched
Only those who live
A life of silence
Are the real wise person
Who helps us to understand through her silence?
You too will become (that) wise man
If you keep quiet
And won’t become
A fool by uttering so many things
As each one strive
According to their ability
Having compassion on them
He too will give grace accordingly
As we live by understanding
His grace
Where are the words
For us to communicate it
Now I understood
That secret
Once I understood it
What is the need to write further about it?
18-5-16, Mathigiri, 1-45 pm.
BT Song 434
After writing the previous song (434) I continue to read. But when I read the following words (in the same page after few lines), again I closed the book and wrote this song
Referring to Heidegger’s view, Robert P. Scharlemann has observed:
…every poet has only one poem to write, but no poet ever writes that one poem, for every poet is always writing toward, and out of, that one unwritten poem without ever being able to write the poem itself. The one poem can never be written as such; the many poems are indicators of it without being that one itself.95 (p.152)
Only if one reads the following points from the book this song will make sense:
@… ‘The term sombar in Tamil stands for the saint122 and not for lazy people as the present day connotation of the word goes. The state of ‘sombar’ which is the state of Samadhi is the state of ‘actionless action’’ it has been likened by the Tamil Siddhas to the state of ‘dead man’…. {Pattinattar, Arul Pulambal, 49.}—p. 155
…In Siddha literature we find that there is a kind of tension when the yogins try to speak about the Reality as inexpressible and translinguistic and at the same time try to describe it in such language as ‘beyond the beyond’. This is the paradox of mystical experience which has been referred by Tirumular as expressing in language the one which is really inexpressible. {Tirumantiram, 2648}—p. 155
$ The concept ‘summaa’ in Tamil Siddha literature refers to the mystical silence, even though no spoken word can name that silence without breaking it. Tirumular is suing a strong language by calling those people fools, who try to speak or write about that which is indescribable.101….—p. 153
% The knowledge we ordinarily possess is knowledge of something. The knowledge of turiya is a knowledge of nothing in particular but of the ground of all things and all knowing. It is the self knowing itself as the self, not the function of an isolated capacity of the mind but an awareness, lighting up the subject itself as pure perception. Thus, jnaana is not a conceptual synthesis of a subject-object polarity but the experience of the subject in reality as such….— Klaus K. Klostermaier, A SURVEY OF HINDUISM, Munshiram Manoharlal, New Delhi,1990, p. 190
BT Song 434 புதைக்க வேண்டும்
அந்த எல்லைக்கு செல்ல வேண்டும்
அதனுள் நானும் ஒடுங்க வேண்டும்
“துரியமும்” கடந்த அந்தத் தூரமதைத்
துரிதமாய்ச் சென்று அடைய வேண்டும்
சொல்லுக்கும் மொழிக்கும் முடிவு கட்டி
எண்ணத்தை அதனுடன் மூட்டை கட்டி
சிந்தையை அவற்றுடன் சிறையும் வைத்து
சோம்பர் நிலையை அடைய வேண்டும்
வாய்மூடி மவுனியாய் வாழ வேண்டும்
வார்த்தையில் சிக்கனம் கொள்ள வேண்டும்
எல்லா வற்றையும் எழுதிக் காட்டும்
எண்ணத்தைக் கூடவே விடவும் வேண்டும்
என்னைச் சுற்றிலும் பலர் இருக்க
அவர் கண்ணுக்கு மறைவாகப் பதுங்கவேண்டும்
ஊருக்கு உபதேசம் கூறுவதைக் கூட
உடனடியாக நான் நிறுத்த வேண்டும்
என்னுள்ளே என்னையே நான் புதைத்து
என்னையே நானும் மறக்க வேண்டும்
எவரேனும் தோண்டி எடுக்கப் பார்த்தால்
ஏமாற்றம் கொண்டு மீண்டும் மூட வேண்டும்
வெட்ட வெளியிலே போக வேண்டும்
வெறுமையை முழுமையாய்ப் பார்க்க வேண்டும்
தவறிப் போய் மீண்டுமே திரும்ப வந்து
தடுமாறும் நிலையைத் தவிர்க்க வேண்டும்
18-5-16, மத்திகிரி, மதியம் 2-05
BT Song 434 Should be buried
I should go to that extreme limit
And should remain in it
I should transcend the ‘turiya’% stage
And I should attain that status at the earliest
I should bring an end to the language and words
And along with it I should close my thoughts
And keeping my mind in that prison
I should reach that ‘lazy’ (sombar@) stage
I should live like a ‘mouni’ (silent one)
And should be very economical in using words
And should even stop this tendency to share
And even give up this urge of writing too.
Though many live around me
I should remain hidden from their eyes
And stop evening giving any teaching to the world
And I should stop it immediately
I should bury me within me
And I should even forget about myself
If anyone try to exhume me again
They should bury me again getting disappointment
I should go to that vacuum in the beyond
And should see that emptiness in its totality
And should even avoid that condition
Of even returning back (to this world) even by mistake.
18-5-16, Mathigiri, 2-05 pm.
BT Song 435
As I received a message about the ailment of my close friend Kannan I was much disturbed. Though I have several friends, yet he alone is the friend in my life in true sense—as friend is one to whom you need not explain yourself. Then when I got up this morning suddenly thinking about him at 3.00 am, I further cannot sleep and began to think so many things. But the reality is that whatever might be our relationship with other human begins the nature of our life and body won’t mind anybody’s sentiment. At the same time I thought that as we struggle a lot even to live this life around one hundred years, what if God make us to live around one thousand years. Then I said that fortunately God never punished us to that extent. Then I got up and wrote this song and then went to bed—but unable to sleep further.
BT Song 435. நல்லவேளை
தேகமும் தளர்ந்து போனது
தெம்பும் அத்துடன் குறைந்தது
நாளுக்குநாள் உடல் வாடித்தளர்கையில்
நாட்டமும் வாழ்வினில் குறையுது
உள்ளத்து உவகை போகுது
ஊக்கமும் அத்துடன் குறையுது
எப்படித்தான் தாங்கிப் பிடித்தாலும்
ஏனோ உடல் மறுக்குது
இயற்கையின் இந்த நியதியை
வென்றவர் இல்லை இதுவரை
நல்ல வேளை இறுதிவரை
ஆட்டமும் போட முடியலை
ஆயிரம் ஆண்டுகள் வாழவைத்தால்
ஐயகோ எத்தனை கொடுமையாகும்
நூறுக்கே நாக்குத் தள்ளும்போது
பத்துநூறில் கதி என்னவாகும்
இளமை, முதுமை என்பதுகூட
இறைவன் தந்த வரமாகும்
இல்லை என்றால் நம்வாழ்வுமே
இறுதி வரை சுமையாகும்
குருகுலம், 4-6-16, காலை 3.30
BT Song 435. Fortunately
Body began to worn out
And strength is coming down along with it
As the body become weak day by day
The interest in life is also going
The enthusiasm of the heart is going away
And encouragement is also coming down
How much others try to uphold us
The body refuse to cooperate
There is none who
Has overcome this principle in nature
Fortunately, till the end of our life
We cannot have our own life as we wish
What would be our condition?
If we have to life for a thousand years
When even to spend one hundred becomes a challenge
What would happen if we lived for a thousand years?
Both youth hood and old ages are
The blessing from God
Otherwise, our life will become
A burden till the end.
Gurukulam, 4-6-16, 3.30 am.
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