As most of the non-Indians cannot understand my poor English translation, I sought the help of Chatgpt to convert them in typical English style song. This the result. For my translation in Tanglish [Tamil English] scroll down.
BT Song 901
When sadhana becomes a mere ritual, we lose touch with the spirit with which we need to do it. Particularly in prayer, unless we have a conscious relationship with the Lord, merely uttering some words won’t be useful. That is why I never like long prayers with lots of ornate words—even punctuating the prayer with lots of ‘Lord’ and ‘God’. For me, prayer is a conversation between me and the Lord. So when I sometimes do it without having that personal relationship, I feel empty within me. And in those times, I take refuge in the Lord rather than even praying with words.
In Indian tradition, one cannot and should not reject the one who seeks refuge. This is beautifully portrayed in the Ramayana. When Vibhishana, after failing to persuade his brother Ravana to release Sita and hand her over to Rama, left Sri Lanka and came to Rama’s camp to seek refuge with him. Ravana, instead of heeding him, called him a traitor. Others in his camp requested Rama not to give refuge to Vibhishana as he was from the enemy camp. But, not accepting their counsel, Rama gave refuge to Vibhishana, saying that even if he came to our side only to deceive us, according to dharma, one cannot send back a refugee who seeks asylum. That is why I tell the Lord that He has no other option but to take me, as He cannot say no to me when I seek asylum at His feet. Instead of constructing a long and tall wall to prevent anyone from seeking asylum, He welcomes them.
BT Song 901: Now Receive Me
You’re so close to my lips,
Yet so far from my heart.
When I call out your name,
You just smile and depart.
I’m a devotee in name,
Just for the world to see.
I hesitate to come to you,
Knowing the truth about me.
I live unaware,
Of the burden I bear.
But I lack the courage
To come to you and share.
With shyness, I bow my head,
Fear shrinks me inside.
I cry in sorrow,
My tongue, in silence, hides.
I wait for the moment
You’ll come to set me free.
There’s no way I can do it alone,
There’s no refuge but thee.
Even my heart
Is too shy to speak.
So I send my soul
To you, silent and meek.
Isn’t it right for God
To welcome those who plead?
You have no choice
But to embrace those in need.
I come seeking refuge,
Embrace me and say, “Fear not.”
We’ll resolve everything later,
For now, accept my heart.
Mathigiri, 13-6-2018, 1:35 p.m. Jer. 12:2
BT Song 902
The climax of God’s creation is the human being, who is entrusted with the privilege to rule over nature. And when we fulfill our part, nature also cooperates with us to worship God in every way. But when we misuse our privilege and consider it as authority, nature becomes our first enemy, spoiling our natural relationship with it. Here, I am not talking only about environmental issues, but even in my everyday life, including my body, when I act as a mere steward, respecting every part of creation for its worth, then I feel harmony with nature and God.
The context here is that sometimes I search for some excuse not to do exercise, as I find it highly boring at times. Then the whole day becomes miserable, bringing one pain after another. As I realize this, I wrote this song.
BT Song 902: I Live Well
I live well each day,
Proclaiming your name.
As I tell of your deeds,
Your glory gains fame.
You live with me daily,
Pouring grace upon grace.
You meet every need,
In each time and place.
You provide for my body,
And nourish my mind.
You help me understand
Your love, so kind.
You made me, and thus,
Your care is my due.
My life is yours,
And I owe it to you.
You created the world,
And gave me dominion.
With stewardship and care,
I sing in communion.
When I use my power,
With pride and self-gain,
I lose so much more,
Than words can explain.
Yet you guide me back,
To my rightful place.
I regain what I lost,
With your mercy and grace.
So, I live well again,
Giving thanks for each day.
I live for you, Lord,
Singing praises always.
Mathigiri, 13-6-2018, 11:30 p.m.
Here’s the revised text:
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BT Song 903
Excessive imagination about various aspects of life often disrupts my normal life and relationships with others. I do my utmost to avoid it, but often I fail. Then I feel as though my mind has become a dustbin, collecting numerous negative thoughts stemming from unnecessary imagination, which emit a foul odor. Thus, I not only have to empty it but also cleanse it with positive thoughts and good feelings about incidents and others.
BT Song 903: Thinking About Your Grace
I should accept
The chance that you give.
I should honor you
In the life that I live.
Not wasting my time,
In pursuits that are vain,
I should think of your love,
Again and again.
You’ve given me so much,
More than I need,
Providing a life,
Where I can succeed.
Above all the gifts,
The greatest is you,
More than all blessings,
Your presence is true.
If I start to count,
All the ways you bless,
Is there enough time
To fully express?
Yet sometimes I stray,
Frustration takes hold,
Thinking of things,
That make my heart cold.
But when I remember
To keep you in sight,
You cleanse me of sorrow,
And fill me with light.
Though many times before,
You’ve done this for me,
Sometimes my heart
Forgets, foolishly.
But your love remains,
Giving me the grace,
To think of your mercy,
And come to your place.
With gratitude, I come,
To praise and to bow,
To thank you, dear Lord,
Here and now.
Mathigiri, 17-6-2018, 4:00 a.m.
Here’s the revised text:
—
BT Song 904
God will never accept or allow us to drift away from Him once we belong to Him. Our relationship with our mother is closer than any other relationship on this earth. Until the end, that relationship cannot be broken for any reason. The same is true with the Lord. Once we belong to Him, the way He takes care of us is like a mother rearing a child, even when that child becomes an adult. As I often experience this special relationship with the Lord, seeing Him as my mother, I wrote this song while meditating on it. It is important to note that no matter how grown up we become, for a mother, we always remain her child in her attitude and affection towards us. Mothers are special, and so is the relationship with the Lord as our Mother. Here, I am not talking about the concept of ‘once saved, always saved,’ but rather in the context of the relationship with the Lord as our Mother.
BT Song 904: Protect Me Without Separation
Can you bear it
If I walk away?
Once I am yours,
Can I ever stray?
You took my hand,
And showed me your love.
You held me close,
With care from above.
As I grew older,
Day by day,
More than a mother,
You showed me the way.
With each tiny step,
As I learned to walk,
You kept me steady,
Teaching me to talk.
As my body and mind
Began to grow,
You gave me wisdom,
Your path to know.
When worldly desires
Led me astray,
You didn’t let go,
But showed me the way.
Seeing my state,
You wouldn’t let me fall.
You disciplined me,
Reforming it all.
Oh Lord, I repented,
Returned to your side.
Protect me forever,
With you, I abide.
Keep me near,
Never apart.
Grant me the boon
To worship with heart.
Mathigiri, 17-6-2018, 4:30 a.m.
Here’s the revised text:
—
BT Song 905
Though God never leaves us, the feeling that He has left me alone to struggle often daunts me. Instead of begging Him to stay with me, I demand that He should never leave me to face issues on my own. I don’t know how to express it. As a single person with more free time, I often keep short accounts with God. I talk with Him whenever I like, and if I feel that He is not listening, I get irritated. Of course, this feeling that He is not listening is only on my part. But what can I do? I need some excuse to rebuke Him and argue with Him about some issues. I have more quarrels with the Lord than conversations.
BT Song 905: You Should Remain With Me Permanently
Stay with me always,
Without any break.
Come dwell within me,
For my soul’s sake.
When I come to talk,
Be ready to hear.
You’re the only one
Who understands, my dear.
No one else can
Share fellowship with me.
Others lack patience,
They don’t truly see.
In silence, like a sage,
I should quietly stay,
Finding strength within,
And worship your way.
When I seek your presence,
Tell me where you are.
I can’t find you alone,
You’re never too far.
Don’t say you dwell
Only within me.
I know you’ve left,
And I can’t wait patiently.
Once you belong to me,
Never leave my side.
Stay with me always,
In you, I confide.
I don’t know when
I’ll come to you.
So remain with me,
Faithful and true.
Mathigiri, 18-6-2018, 2:10 p.m.
BT Song 901: Now Receive Me
You are very close to my lips,
But you stand far away from my heart.
When I call you often,
You see with a mocking smile.
I remain a bhakta only for namesake,
I live as a bhakta only for the world.
Thinking about the true nature of my heart,
I hesitate to come before you.
I live not knowing this,
Actually, I cannot bear this burden anymore.
But I don’t have the courage
To come to you to unload it.
With my shyness, I bow my head before you.
Because of fear, I am shrinking within myself.
I shed tears because of sorrow,
My tongue gets twisted, unable to share.
I am waiting for the time
For you to come to redeem me.
There is no chance for me to come on my own,
There is no refuge other than you.
Even I hesitate
To share this,
Therefore I sent my atman as the emissary
To tell this to you in silence.
Is it correct for God to throw away
Who comes taking refuge unto Him?
There is no option for you
Other than to receive who comes seeking refuge.
I came taking refuge unto you,
You receive and hug me by giving assurance of ‘fearlessness.’
Let us take the contention later,
Now you accept me.
Mathigiri, 13-6-2018, 1:35 p.m. Jer. 12:2
BT Song 902: I Live Well
I live well each day,
As I tell it, your fame will increase.
You too, living with me every day,
Bestow grace more and more.
Knowing the needs of body and mind,
Seeing each one individually and providing for them all,
You help me to live with them in this world,
Through it, you help me to know your heart.
As it becomes your responsibility since you created me,
You made my life also yours on this earth.
Therefore, creating the world with fullness,
You made me to overlord it.
When I handle it, understanding my stewardship,
The entire creation joins me,
And sings your praises as the creator of all,
And they live cordially with each other.
Making my stewardship into authority,
Adding my pride to it,
Always keeping only my interest before me,
How much I have lost, how can I tell?
Still, helping me to realize my mistake,
And giving me the sense that the authority belongs to you,
When I accept my responsibility,
Again, you help me regain what I lost.
Therefore, I live well again.
For that, I give many thanks.
I live the life which you gave for you,
And each day I sing your praises.
Mathigiri, 13-6-2018, 11:30 p.m.
BT Song 903: I Think About Your Grace
I should accept the opportunity
That you give.
I should glorify you,
Keeping you in my heart.
Not wasting
My time in vain,
I should always
Think about your compassion.
How many facilities
You have provided,
You arranged a
Separate life for me.
How many things
That you have provided more for it,
More than them,
You gave yourself to me.
If I begin to praise
By thinking of all of them,
Is the time enough
To praise you?
Still, leaving it,
I get frustrated,
Thinking about
Various other things.
Finally, as my mind
Gets filled with dirt,
I get troubled,
Unable to bear the bad smell.
As an alternative to this,
When I keep you in my heart,
Removing the dirt,
You made me worship you.
Though you have
Done this many times before,
For some reason,
My heart forgot it.
Still, because of your
Love for me,
You give this boon
To think about your grace.
Thinking it again,
Filled with gratitude,
I come to your feet
To praise you.
Mathigiri, 17-6-2018, 4:00 a.m.
BT Song 904: Protect Me Without Separation
Can you tolerate it
If I get separated from you?
Once I become yours,
Can I leave you?
Taking my hand,
You showed your love.
Keeping me in your heart,
You shared your compassion.
As I grew
Day by day,
More than a mother,
You brought me up.
When I took small steps
And tried to walk,
Not falling down,
You helped me to walk.
When I grew
Both in body and mind,
Giving your wisdom,
You showed me your path.
When many desires of the world
Come and attack,
And leaving your path,
When I went my own way,
Seeing that condition,
Not allowing me to perish,
In order to reform me,
You disciplined me.
Accepting it,
Oh my Lord, I repented.
I came again to you
Who overlords me.
Protect me so that
I will never get separated from you.
Give the boon
To worship at your feet.
Mathigiri, 17-6-2018, 4:30 a.m.
BT Song 905: You Should Remain With Me Permanently
Have fellowship with me without any break,
Come and dwell in me permanently.
When I often come to talk to you,
Be prepared to listen to me.
There is no one to have fellowship with me,
Others don’t have the patience that you have.
Though others have concern for me,
They cannot understand my heart.
I should live in silence like a ‘muni’,
I should experience the strength of it.
I should give up unnecessary talk,
I should worship only your holy feet.
When I come to your presence,
Where you have gone, that you need to tell me.
I don’t have the strength to search for you,
You have the responsibility to take care of your devotee.
Don’t say that you are dwelling only within me,
Don’t say that you are living only with me.
I know that you went away,
I cannot wait for you to return.
Once you belong to me,
Don’t go away anywhere, this I tell you clearly.
I don’t know when I will come to you,
So it is better for you to remain with me always.
Mathigiri, 18-6-2018, 2:10 p.m.
BT Song 901 இப்போ ஏற்றுக்கொள்
உதட்டுக்கு அருகில் இருக்கின்றாய்
உள்ளத்தில் விலகி நிற்கின்றாய்
எதற்கெடுத்தாலும் உன்னை அழைக்க
ஏளனப் பார்வை பார்க்கின்றாய்
பேருக்கு பக்தனாய் இருக்கின்றேன்
ஊருக்கு பக்தனாய் வாழ்கின்றேன்
உள்ளத்தில் உண்மை நிலையெண்ணி
உன்முன் வந்திட மறுக்கிறேன்
இதை உணராமல் நானில்லை
உண்மையில் பாரம் தாங்கவில்லை
உன்னிடம் வந்து இறக்கிவைக்க
உள்ளத்தில் துணிவும் வரவில்லை
நாணத்தால் நானும் தலைகுனிந்தேன்
அச்சத்தால் நடுங்கி ஒடுங்குகிறேன்
சோகத்தால் கண்ணீர் சொரிகின்றேன்
சொல்லிட நாவும் குழறுகிறேன்
நீயாய் வந்து காப்பாற்றும்
நேரத்திற்காகக் காத்திருக்கேன்
நானாய் வந்திட வழியில்லை
நீயன்றி வேறு கதியில்லை
இதையும் கூடச் சொல்லிடவே
என்னுள் தயக்கம் இருக்கிறது
ஆகவே மவுனமாய் இதைக்கூற
ஆவியை உன்னிடம் தூதுவிட்டேன்
சரணாகதி என வருவோரை
தள்ளுதல் இறைவனுக் கழகில்லை
தஞ்சம் என்று வந்தபின்னே
ஏற்பது இன்றி வழியில்லை
அபயம் என்று வந்துவிட்டேன்
அஞ்சேல் என்று அரவணைப்பாய்
அப்புறம் வழக்கை வைத்துக்கொள்
இப்போ என்னை ஏற்றிடுவாய்
மத்திகிரி, 13-6-2018, மதியம் 1.35 Jer. 12:2
BT Song 902 நலமாக வாழ்கிறேன்
நன்றாக வாழ்கிறேன் நானும் நாளுமே
நானிதைச் சொல்லிட உன் புகழ் ஓங்குமே
அன்றாடம் என்னுடன் நீயும் வாழ்ந்துமே
அருளினை அருள்கிறாய் மென்மேலுமே
உடலொடு மனதின் தேவையை அறிந்து
ஒவ்வொன்றாய்ப் பார்த்து அவற்றையும் தந்து
இவைகொண்டு உலகிடை வாழவும் வைக்கிறாய்
இதன்மூலம் உன்னுள்ளம் அறிந்திட உதவுறாய்
படைத்தபின் பொறுப்பும் உனதாகிப் போனதால்
பாரினில் என்வாழ்வும் உனதாக ஆக்கினாய்
அதனாலே உலகையும் நிறைவாகப் படைத்து
அதன்மீது ஆளுகை செய்திட வைக்கிறாய்
பொறுப்பினை உணர்ந்து நான் கையாண்ட போது
படைப்புகள் அனைத்தும் என்னுடன் இணைந்தது
உருவாக்கி வைத்த உன்புகழ் பாடின
உயிரினம் அனைத்தும் இணங்கியே வாழ்ந்தன
ஆளுகை தன்னையும் அதிகாரம் ஆக்கி
அத்துடன் எனது அகங்காரம் கூட்டி
என் சுயம் ஒன்றையே கண்முன் நிறுத்தி
இழந்தது எத்தனை எவ்விதம் சொல்ல
ஆயினும் தவறினை அறிந்திட வைத்து
அதிகாரம் உனதென்ற உணர்வையும் தந்து
மீண்டுமென் பொறுப்பை ஏற்றிடும் போது
இழந்ததைப் பெற்றிட உய்வையும் அளித்தாய்
அதனாலே மீண்டும் நலமாக வாழ்கிறேன்
அதற்காக நன்றிகள் ஆயிரம் சொல்கிறேன்
நீதந்த வாழ்வையும் உனக்காக வாழ்கிறேன்
நித்தமும் உன்புகழ் நானுமே பாடுறேன்
மத்திகிரி, 13-6-2018, இரவு 11.30
BT Song 903 உன்னருள் எண்ணினேன்
நீ தரும் வாய்ப்பினை
நானுமே ஏற்கணும்
நெஞ்சிலே உனைவைத்து
நித்தமும் போற்றணும்
காலத்தை வீணிலே
நானுமே போக்காமல்
காலமெல்லாம் உன்
கருணையை எண்ணணும்
எத்தனை வசதிகள்
எனக்கு நீ தந்தாய்
எனக்காகத் தனிவாழ்வை
அமைத்துமே வைத்தாய்
எந்நேரம் உனையெண்ண
எத்தனை நீ செய்தாய்
இதற்கெலாம் மேலாக
உன்னையே நீ தந்தாய்
நீ தந்த ஒவ்வொன்றை
நான் எண்ணிப் போற்றினால்
நேரமும் போதுமா
உன்னையே துதித்திட
ஆயினும் அதை விட்டு
அலசடி பலப்பட்டு
இல்லாத தொல்லைகள்
எல்லாம் எண்ணுறேன்
இறுதியில் மனமும்
குப்பையால் நிறைந்திட
அதனாலே வரும் நாற்றம்
தாங்காமல் தவிக்கிறேன்
இதற்கொரு மாற்றாக
இதயத்தில் உன்னைவைக்க
குப்பையை நீக்கியே
கும்பிட வைக்கிறாய்
இதுபோல பலமுறை
முன்பு நீ செய்துமே
என்மனம் என்னவோ
அதனையும் மறந்தது
ஆயினும் என்மீது
நீ கொண்ட அன்பினால்
உன்னருள் எண்ணிட
வரமுமே அருளினாய்
அதையெண்ணி நானும்
நன்றியால் நிறைந்து
மீண்டும் வருகிறேன்
உன்னடி போற்றவே
மத்திகிரி, 17-6-2018 காலை, 4.00
BT Song 904 விலகாமல் காத்திடு
உனைவிட்டு விலகினால்
உன் மனம் தாங்குமா
உன் சொந்தம் ஆனபின்
உனைவிட்டுப் போகுமா
நீயென் கரம்பற்றி
நேசத்தைக் காட்டினாய்
நெஞ்சிலே எனைவைத்து
பாசத்தை ஊட்டினாய்
நாளொரு மேனியாய்
நானும் வளர்ந்திட
தாயினும் மேலாக
தாங்கி நீ வளர்த்தாய்
சிறு அடி நான்வைத்துத்
தடுமாறி நடந்திட
வீழாமல் தாங்கியே
நடந்திட வைத்தாய்
உடலாலும் மனதாலும்
உருவாக்கி வளர்ந்திட
உன் ஞானம் மிகத்தந்து
உன்வழி காட்டினாய்
உலகத்தின் இச்சைகள்
பலவந்து தாக்கிட
உன்வழி விலகியே
என்வழி சென்றிட
அதைக்கண்டு இரங்கியே
அழிந்து நான் போகாமல்
திருந்தி நான் சீர்ப்பட
கண்டித்துத் திருத்தினாய்
அதனையும் ஏற்று நான்
ஐயனே திருந்தினேன்
ஆட்கொண்ட உன்னிடம்
வந்துமே சேர்ந்தேன்
ஒருபோதும் இனிமேலே
விலகாமல் காத்திடு
உன் பாதம் பணிந்திடும்
வரமுமே தந்திடு
மத்திகிரி, 17-6-2018 காலை, 4.30
BT Song 905 நிரந்தரமாய் இருக்கணும்
இடைவிடாது என்னோடு உறவாடு
நிரந்தரமாய் என் உள்ளத்தில் குடியேறு
அடிக்கடி வந்து நான் பேசிடும் போது
அதைக் கேட்க நீயும் ஆயத்தமாயிடு
உன்னைவிட்டால் உறவாட எவருமே இல்லை
உனக்குள்ள பொறுமை பிறருக்கும் இல்லை
என் மீது கரிசனை பிறர் கொண்ட போதும்
என்னுள்ளம் அவருக்குப் புரிவதும் இல்லை
வாய்மூடி மவுனியாய் வாழ்ந்திட வேண்டும்
அதன் வல்லமையை நான் உணர்ந்திடவேண்டும்
வீண் பேச்சு எல்லாம் விட்டிட வேண்டும்
உன் விழலடி மட்டுமே பணிந்திட வேண்டும்
எந்நேரம் உன்னிடம் வருகிற போதும்
நீயெங்கு சென்றாய் அதைச்சொல்ல வேண்டும்
தேடித் திரிந்திடத் தெம்பில்லை எனக்கு
தொண்டனைக் காப்பதில் பொறுப்புண்டு உனக்கு
உள்ளேதான் இருந்தேன் எனச் சொல்லாதே
உன்னோடு வாழ்கிறேன் என உரைக்காதே
விலகிச் சென்றதை நானறிவேனே
விரும்பி நீவரும்வரை பொறுத்திருக்கேனே
எனக்கெனச் சொந்தம் ஆனபின்னாலே
வேறெங்கும் செல்லாதே நானுமே சொன்னேன்
எப்போது வருவேன் எனத் தெரியாது
எனவே என்னோடும் இருப்பதே நல்லது
மத்திகிரி, 18-6-2018, மதியம், 2.10
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