For the past three days, I’ve been battling cough, cold, and headaches. Thank God, there’s no fever, so no fear of Covid-19. However, my regular activities like reading, writing, and even my cross-stitch work have come to a halt. I managed to cook and care for my mother. Although I felt better this morning, by evening, my runny nose and eye irritation returned. I decided to rest completely, not even reading the Muktiveda. At 10:10 PM, I turned off the light, stretched out on the cot, and sat quietly. I tried to focus my mind on my relationship with the Lord, exploring various technical or theological terms in Tamil and English, but failed. I acknowledged that God has done something in my life, though I struggle to articulate it. He places me in situations where I can understand but cannot communicate. Despite my mind wandering, around 11:00 PM, I silently prayed the first line of this poem. Though reluctant to write another poem on this topic, I couldn’t resist the words pounding in my mind, leading me to write this song as my meditation for the evening [BT Song 1180]. However I would like to share that song both in English and Tamil at the end of this article, which I don’t often.
In stanza five, I express uncertainty about whether I have encountered God. This may contradict standard Muktivedic theology, which states that whoever has seen the Lord has seen God. My quest was never to find God, but to understand why I failed. Though I found my guru in Muktinath, I still do not fully grasp who God actually is, and I am content with that.
Similarly, in stanza six, I discuss clear knowledge that remains unclear to many. This may seem contradictory, but it reflects my reality. I do not claim to understand Vedanta or its various branches like Advaita (Sankara), Dvaita (Madhava), Visistadvaita (Ramanuja), Dvaitadvaita (Nimbarka), Suddhadvaita (Vallabha), and further branches like Achintya-Bhedabheda (Bengal (Gaudiya) Vaishnavism. If Sankara articulated it clearly, why do we need these additional schools of Vedanta? However, I do not dismiss the concept of self-realization claimed by many Vedantins. Instead, I acknowledge my own inadequacy in comprehending this crystal-clear knowledge required for self-realization.
But one thing I understood clearly: all the so-called ‘creeds’ are nothing but an expression of our limitation to understand and articulate even our experience with God. Any religious creedal expression can never define who God is. He, She, or It refuses to be limited by any of them.
Revised 6-7-2024
Gurukulam.
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