Question: Do you ever ask yourself what’s the point of your life? If I look back on my 40 years, all I see is meaningless activity. To others, I am a successful manager with an understanding wife and an intelligent kid. But to what effect? What have I done? Where am I going? What will happen in a few years? Instead of the old Fiat, I will have a new Maruti (and dream of a Honda). Instead of a small flat, I will have a bigger one. I will be able to go for the worship of ‘Senior’ managers. So what? Who cares? I don’t know why I am writing this letter. It doesn’t matter if you don’t respond. —Vivek A., The Times of India, ‘Ask Achal,’ 30-03-1996, p. 17
Dear Vivek,
Thank you for taking time out from your hectic schedule to write this letter. At times, when we are stressed, working hard to meet deadlines, trying to buy that new Maruti, we forget the present. We put in so much effort into building our own ‘little empire’ that we forget our little moments.
Remember the satisfaction of seeing a good film, the tranquility of the morning when you woke up and strolled out, the rapturous smile of your child when you cooed over him. Recall the pain when your team lost the match, and the passion when you won. Ask yourself, “If I hadn’t been around, would the man I rushed to the hospital still be helplessly waiting for an ambulance? Would the cat I fed as a child have died of hunger?” These are small moments, and I’m sure you have a list of your own. Small things matter; small acts have an impact. No one is inconsequential—certainly not you. —Dr. Achal Bhagat, Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist, Apollo Hospital, Delhi.
Though I appreciate Dr. Bhagat’s response, I wonder why he did not address the fact that Vivek is preoccupied only with his own frustration. As a family person, he also needs to consider his responsibilities at home, his role as a manager, his relationships with relatives, and his duties as a fellow human being. Of course, when frustration strikes, it is natural to focus on one’s own issues. However, failing to think about others can lead to a deeper depression that may adversely affect those around him—who may not be willing or able to cope with his turmoil.
When we feel frustrated in life, it’s important to focus on the small moments and events that bring us joy and satisfaction. However, as social beings, these small moments alone won’t resolve all our problems. We must also consider our relationships with others and think about how we interact and connect with those around us.
We should all remember what Karuppaiya has said:
“Other living beings live in groups but never as a society. But a human is a social animal; he is bound by society; he is created by society.” —Pzha. Karuppaiya, Pattinattar: A Glance, Coimbatore, Vijay Press, p. 12 [Tamil]
Echoing the same thought, I wrote in one of my articles:
“We are what we are because of what society makes us; and our society is what it is because of what we make it. In this process of making and remaking is our identity.”
…பிற உயிர்கள் கூட்டமாக வாழ்கின்றனவே ஒழியச் சமூகமாக வாழ்வதில்லை. ஆனால் மாந்தன் ஒரு சமூக விலங்கு; சமூகத்திற்கு ஆட்பட்டவன்; சமூகத்தால் உருவாக்கப்பட்டவன்! —பட்டினத்தார்: ஒரு பார்வை, பழ. கருப்பையா, கோயம்புத்தூர், விஜயா பதிப்பகம், 2009, ப.12
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