Head of the Family

Head of the family

Recently I was talking with one young man about his family life.  In order to help him to understand the importance and role of a woman, I asked him: Who is the HEAD of his home?  ‘My father’ [who is a retired person receiving a good pension], he said.  As I stayed with him for five days and closely observed their life, I then said, ‘When your father gets up he receives his tea.  Then after that he goes for a walk and on his way back again he has his second [good] tea in the shop.  When he returns back his breakfast with a third tea is served.  Then he sits and reads the NewsPaper for an hour or two.  Then if there is someone [like a guest or visitor] he will talk for a few minutes with them [not with his wife as it often ends up in argument].  Then he will take a bath and even won’t do any puja.  Then he will continue to go through his Newspaper or go to the neighbour’s house to kill his time.  When he returns back, a hot lunch will be served.  Then he will have his afternoon nap.  When he leisurely gets up he will receive his tea with some namkin.  After sitting in the veranda might spend time with his mobile.  Then go for his evening walk and after a good evening coffee outside will come back and start to watch his TV in his room, as his wife will be sitting in the hall watching her mega serials.  Then after dinner he will go to bed.

“Yes”.  He almost agreed with me on every point. 

Now tell me who is taking care of the entire home, all it needs and talking with other children and relatives outside coordinating everything related to life [be it marriage, purchase, settlement, children’s education and what not]. 

“But my father is often consulted and he will share his views.  At least information will be shared with him later. ”, he responded.

“Yes.  But who takes the final decision and who controls his pension including your business”.

“Most of the time my mother”. 

“Now my point is not that.  As I have observed several homes, I know clearly one thing [based on my personal experience also] that whoever CONTROLS the kitchen is the ONLY head of the family.  Other members staying in the home [including husband, in-laws, children etc.] are only permanent guests to that person DEPENDING upon her hospitality.  And other visitors are temporary guests ENJOYING her GOOD hospitality.  Now tell me who is the HEAD OF YOUR HOME.

“My MOTHER”.  And he further didn’t argue about it, because he is also a married person.  

Gurukulam

10-12-2023