For the first time in modern history, the President of China is going to send Easter greetings to the President of the United States. Xi Jinping personally asked me to create the content for it. I agreed, but I had a few questions for clarity. Here’s how our conversation unfolded:
DB: This really surprises me. As a Communist and an atheist, I’ve never heard of you greeting anyone on any religious occasion. Why now?
Xi: I want to make history. Currently, four people are racing to define the 21st century—me, Kim, Putin, and Trump. Though Trump chants “America First,” I want to be the first in this case.
DB: But why ask me? Since you’re already famous for producing numerous counterfeit products, why not ask one of your own fake AI apps to do it?
Xi: Are you kidding? With a 240% tariff, even my counterfeits have become expensive. They now refuse to work for free or at low cost. Compared to other countries, yours is less “terrified” of us—so I thought I’d ask you. Besides, I do have an ulterior motive. If we ease tensions and build a friendly relationship with your country by outsourcing our needs to you, it might irritate Trump. He could raise your tariffs as well. Then naturally, you’ll turn to us for help. But keep that between us.
DB: Hmm… but you should know by now—we never trust your words or gestures. Still, rather than bullying like before, it looks like you’re trying to mend ties—even creating something like an “Asian Family” all of a sudden. Don’t worry, though. India never turns away anyone in desperate times. However, why not ask your “Wolf Warrior” gang scattered across the globe? They’re always making loud noises, even if they don’t have much to say.
Xi: Even among them, there are counterfeits. Many have escape routes ready—they’re quietly seeking political asylum because they fear being recalled and investigated for playing double games. They don’t want their U.S. visas revoked. So I can’t trust them to create this Easter message. If they do, Trump might deny them entry into the U.S., just as he’s doing with others who criticize his policies. And since you’re a big fan of Trump, I figured you’d be the right person for the job.
DB: Fine. But who gets the copyright?
Xi: Of course, you do. We only assemble products and create counterfeits—we never claim copyrights. Besides, everyone knows the quality of our products, so claiming copyright would be pointless. Although I’m happy to see some “Make in India” startups following similar tactics, I still believe Indians have original minds. That’s why I’m outsourcing this to you. But on one condition: I must be the first to send Easter greetings to Trump. Only after that can you share the message with others.
DB: Don’t worry. Considering your economic condition, I’ll create the best message—free of coast!
End Note:
So, everyone, you’ll have to wait until Easter Sunday to witness this historic greeting from Xi to Trump. In the meantime, as the crucified global economy is metaphorically taken down from the cross and laid in the American tomb, we must wait to see whether it will rise again this Easter. Meanwhile, as I work on crafting a unique Easter message from Xi to Trump, you’re welcome to create your own and send it to Trump as well.
Ashram, 18-4-2025
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