[Presented at Banaras Hindu University, Centre for the Study of Social Inclusion, Faculty of Social Sciences, on February 24, 2025.]
The first thing in facing a challenge is never to believe in any ‘label.’ One man’s challenge could be another man’s ‘opportunity’ or ‘struggle.’ It all depends on how you approach it—are you going to ‘respond’ soberly or ‘react’ with lots of emotion?
When you ‘respond,’ you will use your reason and emotion together while accepting the challenge as an opportunity rather than a struggle. But if you begin to react, the very emotion will first blind or blur your vision to see the opportunity to move forward in life. Then, you will be easily defeated.
So, if anyone comes and gives any such talk about handling ‘challenges,’ ‘emotion,’ ‘tension,’ etc., don’t take the label seriously. It all depends on how you are going to approach the issue.
For example, there is a difference between ‘critiquing’ and ‘criticism.’ When someone is ‘critiquing’ your views, his intention is to help you correct mistakes and move forward by responding rather than reacting, not allowing the ‘circumstance’ to defeat you. As Corrie Ten Boom famously said in her book Not Good If Detached, “Our critics are the UNPAID GUARDIANS of our soul.”
So, I am going to share my views, which are not new to you. Because you are already facing them and handling them in a more mature and better way than me. When I was your age, we never even heard or used the word ‘tension.’ It was not in the dictionary or our everyday life. But now, even a small child punctuates their talk with this word.
So, when people come and present any topic on human psychology, remember one thing: they are not presenting or creating any new thoughts or views. They can only remind you of what you already know and even handle in a better and more mature way. My talk is only to REMIND you of what you already know.
If you are disappointed after listening and say, ‘There is nothing new in his talk, and all of them are nothing but old rhetorical statements that he might have borrowed from others,’ you are 200 percent correct. No one can talk on such a topic without borrowing from others or even from you.
Three Things to Remember When Handling Any Challenge:
- It is a SOCIAL issue and not just an individual one.
- It is an OPPORTUNITY to move forward in life.
- It is not an END in itself but only a means to an end.
Let me begin with my challenge. Being a recluse, living all alone in my ashram, interacting with other human beings for just two hours a day, and spending the rest of the day alone without anyone around me, that too in a remote place near a forest—how do I present on this topic to a young generation who rarely gets an opportunity to practice the ART OF SILENCE, let alone live in solitude?
More than in our time, the present generation—from the age of two to 90 and above—‘lives and moves and has their being’ on social media, with their sixth finger—their mobile phone. Nothing can separate them from their love—rather, their infatuation—with social media and mobile phones. But I accept it.
I never accept invitations to speak in public as I am a shy person. I not only avoid crowds but also all kinds of group interactions. At the same time, I value and respect human fellowship and companionship. So, when Prof. Amarnath requested me to come and share among you, at first, I hesitated to accept the invitation because I have never given a speech, particularly on such topics related to human psychology, that too among an educated audience. Of course, I have conducted small satsangs, where I had more opportunities to interact rather than present long talks.
So, I accepted this challenge, and here I am standing before you.
Tension always arises in life when we have to choose between two equally good or bad things, not between ‘good’ and ‘bad.’ That is when the question arises: ‘To be or not to be?’ just as Arjuna found himself asking in the Gita.
The dilemma that he faced and the question he asked Sri Krishna were correct. After killing all his relatives, friends, and acharyas, what was the use of gaining a kingdom to rule, where even his own enemies would not be there to see that they had failed in their attempt to defeat him? That is the worst scenario in life. If you win and manage to lead a successful life before those who criticized, discouraged, and condemned you, there is some meaning in your success. But after eliminating all of them, even if you win, you will soon be defeated by your own success. This is part of human psychology and challenge.
But Arjuna asked the right question in the wrong place. He thought he could handle this issue alone, making some decision as an individual. Deluded by this question and becoming depressed (the word ‘Karpanya’ is a powerful word here), he began to speak as if he were a Jnani:
कार्पण्यदोषोपहतस्वभावः
पृच्छामि त्वां धर्मसम्मूढचेताः ।
यच्छ्रेयः स्यान्निश्चितं ब्रूहि तन्मे
शिष्यस्तेऽहं शाधि मां त्वां प्रपन्नम् ॥ २-७॥
kārpaṇyadoṣopahatasvabhāvaḥ
pṛcchāmi tvāṃ dharmasammūḍhacetāḥ
yacchreyaḥ syānniścitaṃ brūhi tanme
śiṣyaste’haṃ śādhi māṃ tvāṃ prapannam 2-7
My heart is overpowered by the taint of pity; my mind is confused as to duty. I ask Thee. Tell me decisively what is good for me. I am Thy disciple. Instruct me, who have taken refuge in Thee.
That’s why Krishna had to rebuke him, saying, ‘You are thinking about what you ought not to think about now, at this eleventh hour, and you are talking as if you are an ENLIGHTENED ATMA (Pahunche hue atma).’ Because they had already, under the guidance and statesmanship of Krishna, tried to negotiate and settle with many compromises.
अशोच्यानन्वशोचस्त्वं प्रज्ञावादांश्च भाषसे |
गतासूनगतासूंश्च नानुशोचन्ति पण्डिता: || 11||
aśhochyān-anvaśhochas-tvaṁ prajñā-vādānśh cha bhāṣhase
gatāsūn-agatāsūnśh-cha nānuśhochanti paṇḍitāḥ
Translation
BG 2.11: The Supreme Lord said: While you speak words of wisdom, you are mourning for that which is not worthy of grief. The wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead.
When nothing worked (just as we see now in Ukraine—but thank God, Trump is not Krishna, and Zelensky is not Arjuna), they all took a COLLECTIVE decision to fight and reclaim their LEGITIMATE right.
In all the challenges you face in life, society is involved—beginning with your family. So, you cannot arbitrarily make any decision that might affect everyone.
The next point is that every challenge is an Opportunity. As a social being, at least in India, unlike in the West, you don’t have to struggle alone in facing and making decisions. From the family onward, there are so many people to help and guide you—just as the Pandavas had Krishna.
Never approach a challenge with depression; always see the silver lining around the dark cloud and the light at the end of the tunnel.
The third point is that no challenge is an END in itself but only a MEANS to an end. It is left to you how you see it.
Even if you are defeated, that is a greater gain than achieving success on the first attempt. Because failure will give you more experience to handle similar or greater challenges in the future. And you can move ahead with the satisfaction that at least you tried rather than giving up.
As Thirukkural says:
“Even God cannot help you accomplish; your own efforts will bring their own results.”
Finally, every challenge brings its own anxiety. But the problem with anxiety is that it not only fails to solve the future problem that may arise but also robs you of your present peace of mind, preventing you from responding soberly—using both your reason and emotions.
Then, instead of handling the challenge, you will allow the challenge to handle you. In the end, you will become both a culprit and a victim—shikar and shikari.
Here I stop, leaving room for you to ask a few questions, as we all have to face the challenge of ending this talk within the given time.
Thirukkural Verses:
முயற்சி திருவினை ஆக்கும் முயற்றின்மை இன்மை புகுத்தி விடும். (616)
“Effort brings great achievements, while lack of effort brings nothing but poverty.”
தெய்வத்தான் ஆகா தெனினும் முயற்சிதன் மெய்வருத்தக் கூலி தரும். (619)
“Even if fate seems to prevent success, persistent effort will bring its due reward.”
Varanasi, 24-2-2025
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