We often hear that ‘if you don’t get what you like, then begin to like what you get’. But for me this looks like mere idealism. In real life, this is not possible. So how to approach when we get what we don’t like? Let me illustrate this with one example.
I like cooking. So when visitors come, I take time and strain to cook new dishes and the one which they like the most. But every time it won’t turn according to my expectation—in taste, color and smell. Then the general rule is to add more masalas and other ingredients to reform or improve the dish. But I never attempt it. Because once it failed , I know any attempt to reform won’t bring the original result which I expected . So I will prepare one extra dish with good taste. And when I serve the food I will tell my guest that this time I tried the dish (which failed me) in a different way with a different taste. But I will never tell them that it never came as I expected as they know the original taste. So when served along with other (good) dishes, the one that failed won’t spoil the feast.
In the same way, when we don’t get what we like, then instead of worrying about it or trying to like it, we can bring some other thing that will compensate for it. Of course, in human relationships that won’t work much easily. For example, when a woman or man gets whom they don’t like as a life partner, then they cannot bring another person to replace the wife/husband. However, they can find new relationships in their former friends to enrich their life. For example, those who do not have children can adopt a child etc.
Of course, relationships cannot be compared with a failed dish. Except life partners and friends, the rest of the relationship we cannot choose as we are born with them. However, the wise principle is not quoting some idealistic sayings (like ‘begin to like what you get’), but being practical to improve and add richness in our lives by expanding the horizon of relationship with new friends and relatives.
Dayanand Bharati.
Gurukulam. October 21, 2012
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