When I listened to Sri Velukudi Krishnan’s talk on the Valmiki Ramayana (Podigai TV, in Tamil, on 27/12/2012), one of his insights made me reflect on a point deeply cherished by our tradition. He spoke about Sita’s journey with Rama into the forest, emphasizing that despite the hardships, suffering, and challenges, a wife must remain faithful to her husband and follow him. He suggested that while men must undertake rigorous efforts (such as tapasya, pilgrimage, and charity) to attain mukti, God made it simpler for women by granting them the role of a faithful wife.
While this perspective is part of our traditional views, it raises a critical question. It seems that even a speaker like Krishnan did not address the fact that the hardships a woman endures as a wife might be as, if not more, demanding than any tapasya a man performs for his personal mukti. Sometimes, the struggles a man undergoes for mukti seem trivial compared to the lifelong challenges a woman faces in our society. A man may set his focus on personal mukti and endure his trials accordingly, while a woman must continually prioritize the needs and well-being of others—often without knowing if her husband or children are truly content.
Moreover, a man can choose to postpone his pursuit of mukti to another life and enjoy the service of his wife, whereas, according to our scriptures, a woman has no such option. She must endure all hardships and remain a ‘sati’—a faithful wife—until the end of her life, with her body, mind, and spirit dedicated to her husband’s pleasure. Though this sacrifice by women contributes significantly to the preservation of our civilization, the cost they bear is arguably greater than what is expected of men for their personal salvation.
Db.
Canto XXIV: …That woman, may be the best of her kind who is devoted to vows and fasting, but if not amenable to her husband, will only reap the fruit of sin. But the woman who serves her husband obtains the highest worlds of bliss, though she might not make her reverence to those to whom reverence is due, or might abstain from the worship of the gods. A woman must give herself solely to her husband’s service, being intent on doing what is pleasing to him and what is good…[Rama]— N. Raghunathan (tr.), Srimad Valmiki Ramayana, Vighneswara Publishing House, Three Volumes Madras, 1981, Vol. I, P. 223
They shall repeat the five-syllabled [Namasivya] mantra five hundred thousand times for their longevity. That is the rule. Again they must repeat it five hundred thousand times to wipe off womanhood. Becoming a man fist, the liberation will be acquired gradually.— ANCIENT INDIAN TRADITION & MYTHOLOGY; Translated by A board of Scholars, Edited by Prof. J.L.Shastri, Delhi; Mothilal Banarsidass Pub. Pvt. Ltd. (1970), 2002, The Siva Purana Four Volumes, Vidyesvarasamhitaa, 17:123, p. 116
A chaste lady shall take food only after her husband has taken it. O Sivaa [Parvati], if he stands, the woman too shall remain standing.(16) When he sleeps she can also sleep. But she must intelligently wake up before him. She shall do what is beneficial to him. She shall love him without any sort of deception. (17)…. A chaste lady shall never mention her husband’s name. If the husband scolds or rebukes her she shall not abuse him in return. Even when beaten by him she shall remain glad and say, “I may even be killed, O lord. Be kind to me.”(19) When called by him she shall leave the work she is engaged in and approach him immediately. With palms joined in reverence and love she shall bow to him and say as follows.(20) “O lord, be pleased to say what I have been called for.” Whenever ordered by him to do any job she shall do it gladly.(21)—ibid. Parvatikhanda, 54:16,17, 19-21, p.701
If a women wants holy water she shall drink the same with which her husband’s feet have been washed. All holy rivers are present in that water.(25) She shall partake of the leavings of her husband’s food or whatever is given by him saying “This is the great grace.”(26)….Without being permitted by her husband she shall not observe fast and other rites. Should it be so, she will derive no benefit. She may fall into hell in other worlds.(29)….Whether he is impotent, distressed, sick or senile, happy or unhappy, the husband shall never be transgressed.(31) During the three days of her monthly course she shall neither show her face nor speak to him. She shall not speak within his hearing till she becomes pure after her bath.(32)….If a chaste lady wishes for the longevity of her husband she shall not forsake turmeric, vermilion, saffron, collyrium, a blouse, the betel, the necklace, ornaments, brushing and plaiting the hair bangles and earrings.(34-5)—ibid. Parvatikhanda, 54: 25,26,29,31,32, 34,35, p.702
The duty prescribed for women is service to their own husbands. Nothing else is an eternal Dharma for them. O good woman, if the husband directs her she can worship me.—ibid. VAAYAVIIYASAMHITAA, Section II, 11:19, p.1947-8
Db. Kumbakonam (camp)
28/12/2012
When I listened to Sri Velukudi Krishnan’s talk on the Valmiki Ramayana (Podigai TV, in Tamil, on 27/12/2012), one of his insights made me reflect on a point deeply cherished by our tradition. He spoke about Sita’s journey with Rama into the forest, emphasizing that despite the hardships, suffering, and challenges, a wife must remain faithful to her husband and follow him. He suggested that while men must undertake rigorous efforts (such as tapasya, pilgrimage, and charity) to attain mukti, God made it simpler for women by granting them the role of a faithful wife.
While this perspective is part of our traditional views, it raises a critical question. It seems that even a speaker like Krishnan did not address the fact that the hardships a woman endures as a wife might be as, if not more, demanding than any tapasya a man performs for his personal mukti. Sometimes, the struggles a man undergoes for mukti seem trivial compared to the lifelong challenges a woman faces in our society. A man may set his focus on personal mukti and endure his trials accordingly, while a woman must continually prioritize the needs and well-being of others—often without knowing if her husband or children are truly content.
Moreover, a man can choose to postpone his pursuit of mukti to another life and enjoy the service of his wife, whereas, according to our scriptures, a woman has no such option. She must endure all hardships and remain a ‘sati’—a faithful wife—until the end of her life, with her body, mind, and spirit dedicated to her husband’s pleasure. Though this sacrifice by women contributes significantly to the preservation of our civilization, the cost they bear is arguably greater than what is expected of men for their personal salvation.
Db.
Canto XXIV: …That woman, may be the best of her kind who is devoted to vows and fasting, but if not amenable to her husband, will only reap the fruit of sin. But the woman who serves her husband obtains the highest worlds of bliss, though she might not make her reverence to those to whom reverence is due, or might abstain from the worship of the gods. A woman must give herself solely to her husband’s service, being intent on doing what is pleasing to him and what is good…[Rama]— N. Raghunathan (tr.), Srimad Valmiki Ramayana, Vighneswara Publishing House, Three Volumes Madras, 1981, Vol. I, P. 223
They shall repeat the five-syllabled [Namasivya] mantra five hundred thousand times for their longevity. That is the rule. Again they must repeat it five hundred thousand times to wipe off womanhood. Becoming a man fist, the liberation will be acquired gradually.— ANCIENT INDIAN TRADITION & MYTHOLOGY; Translated by A board of Scholars, Edited by Prof. J.L.Shastri, Delhi; Mothilal Banarsidass Pub. Pvt. Ltd. (1970), 2002, The Siva Purana Four Volumes, Vidyesvarasamhitaa, 17:123, p. 116
A chaste lady shall take food only after her husband has taken it. O Sivaa [Parvati], if he stands, the woman too shall remain standing.(16) When he sleeps she can also sleep. But she must intelligently wake up before him. She shall do what is beneficial to him. She shall love him without any sort of deception. (17)…. A chaste lady shall never mention her husband’s name. If the husband scolds or rebukes her she shall not abuse him in return. Even when beaten by him she shall remain glad and say, “I may even be killed, O lord. Be kind to me.”(19) When called by him she shall leave the work she is engaged in and approach him immediately. With palms joined in reverence and love she shall bow to him and say as follows.(20) “O lord, be pleased to say what I have been called for.” Whenever ordered by him to do any job she shall do it gladly.(21)—ibid. Parvatikhanda, 54:16,17, 19-21, p.701
If a women wants holy water she shall drink the same with which her husband’s feet have been washed. All holy rivers are present in that water.(25) She shall partake of the leavings of her husband’s food or whatever is given by him saying “This is the great grace.”(26)….Without being permitted by her husband she shall not observe fast and other rites. Should it be so, she will derive no benefit. She may fall into hell in other worlds.(29)….Whether he is impotent, distressed, sick or senile, happy or unhappy, the husband shall never be transgressed.(31) During the three days of her monthly course she shall neither show her face nor speak to him. She shall not speak within his hearing till she becomes pure after her bath.(32)….If a chaste lady wishes for the longevity of her husband she shall not forsake turmeric, vermilion, saffron, collyrium, a blouse, the betel, the necklace, ornaments, brushing and plaiting the hair bangles and earrings.(34-5)—ibid. Parvatikhanda, 54: 25,26,29,31,32, 34,35, p.702
The duty prescribed for women is service to their own husbands. Nothing else is an eternal Dharma for them. O good woman, if the husband directs her she can worship me.—ibid. VAAYAVIIYASAMHITAA, Section II, 11:19, p.1947-8
Db. Kumbakonam (camp)
28/12/2012
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