Song 136
As I went to Chennai to attend Adhu’s thread ceremony, I went by auto to the function. As usual, as per the ‘dharma’ of Chennai auto drivers, he began to lament about the flood, all the mistakes done by the public and govt. and all the solutions to the problem, which nobody listens etc. etc. [If you could travel several autos one day in Chennai, you can collect so much interesting information from them to write stories, screenplay script, philosophy, theology, sociology, anthropology etc. etc. and Chennai auto drivers are famous for that. They cannot travel without talking with the passengers].
Similarly at the function I met so many people and talked about so many things. Likewise when we were driving both Madhu and I discussed various books and subjects. But people like me who were born in ‘post-Independent India’ but living in a ‘post-modern’ world find it difficult to cope with any world. People like my mother who managed to survive in the ‘modern world’ have less stress as they escaped from the ‘gadget invasion’ in their personal life. They are happy to read their daily newspaper, weekly magazine, gossip with neighbours, and watch mega serials. But we who are caught between the ‘modern’ and ‘post-modern’ worlds feel crushed between ‘rock and hard place’. Unable to cope with the modern trend of information Tsunami at the same time unable to keep away from them, I find it difficult to respond to one thing properly. And the worst scenario in this is how to analyse my life and communicate to others. When I was thinking about this line I wrote this song.
136 நல்லவேளை புரியல
எப்படிச் சொன்னாலும்
எதை எழுதி வைத்தாலும்
என் மன ஓட்டத்தை
எடுத்துரைக்க வழியுமில்லை
உள்ளாக ஒன்றிருக்க
உதட்டிலே ஒன்றை வைத்து
செயற்கையாக செய்திடும்
செயலுக்கு முடிவுமில்லை
உண்மையான என் நிலையை
உணராமல் நானிருக்க
என்ன சொல்லி புரியவைக்க
என்பது விளங்கவில்லை
மனிதனாக பிறந்திருந்தும்
“மனிதனாக” வாழவில்லை
மனித வாழ்வின் இரகசியத்தை
நானுமே அறியவில்லை
புரியாத புதிராக
புவி வாழ்வு தொடர்ந்திட
புரிந்து கொள்ளும் அவசியம்
எனக்கு இருக்கவில்லை
காலம் கூட ஓடிப்போச்சு
காலன் வர நேரமாச்சு
கடைசி மட்டும் யோசிச்சாலும்
குழப்பமே மீதமாச்சு
என்ன பதில் ஆனாலென்ன
எவர் வந்து சொன்னாலென்ன
என் வரை அவற்றாலே
மாற்றமேதும் நிகழவில்லை
இதைத்தான் சொல்கிறேன்
ஏதோ எழுதி வைக்கிறேன்
நல்லவேளை நான் சொல்வது
எவருக்கும் புரியவில்லை!
30-11-15, மத்திகிரி, இரவு, 11.30
136 Fortunately nobody understand
However I utter
Whatever I write
I cannot communicate my thoughts
By any means
There is no end to many things
Done artificially
While keeping one thing in the heart
And uttering another outwardly
When I am unable to
Understand my own nature
I don’t know how to communicate
I am not clear about this
Though born as a human
I don’t live as a ‘human’
And I never understood
The secret of human life
As the life on earth
Continues still as a riddle
There is no need for me
To understand this even
However I think, till the end
Only confusion alone remains
Somehow life has gone in this way
Now the time has come for Yama to take me away
Whichever might be the answer?
And whoever tells it
I don’t find any change
Because of them in my life
This, this alone I communicate
By scribble something like this
Fortunately nobody can
Understand what I try to communicate.
30-11-15, Mathigiri, 11.30 pm.
Song 137
As usual when I do my regular reading, I begin to think how I become too busy reading so many things. As this thought came, I closed my book and sat quietly trying to relax. Of course as the mind is always busy, there is no point claiming to give rest to our mind. Then the next few minutes I began to think about the joy of remaining quietly, which is impossible for most human beings. I don’t think this is lazy. Because for me even a lazy person is very busy remaining lazy. I don’t believe in the concept of remaining inactive. Because remaining ‘INACTIVE’ is also an act. Then I said quality is more important than quantity in any kind of work. Then I wrote this song.
Remaining quiet without any activity is more challenging than remaining busy. About this we all know the following story:
A Sannyasi was sitting in the premises of a temple to whom they used to give one measure of food each day from the temple. But when the new in charge of the temple came, he cancelled by saying, ‘why should we give food to a person who is sitting without doing any work. A day or two passed and the new in charge thought that the sannyasi would rebuke him or request him to resume giving food to him. But the sannyasi asked the person in charge to sit before him but didn’t say anything. Few hours passed. Then getting up, the in charge asked his assistant to give from that day onwards two measures of food. Surprised by this when the assistant asked the reason for his change of mind, he said, ‘I find it difficult to sit a few hours without doing any work. But how this sannyasi manages to sit and keep silent for so many years. So he deserves to receive more than what he so far received’. This in Tamil called, ‘give two measure of food for the one who remain inactive’ =சும்மா இருக்கறவனுக்கு இரண்டு பங்கு சோறு
137. பயனுள்ள உழைப்பு
சும்மா இருக்கும் சுகம் பெற வேண்டும்
சூழ்நிலை மறக்கும் நிலை பெற வேண்டும்
எல்லாம் முடியும் என்றில்லாமல்
எது பயன் தரும் எனுமெண்ணம் வேண்டும்
சும்மா இருப்பது சோம்பல் அல்ல
சுறுசுறு பென்பது உழைப்பும் அல்ல
எது செய்வது எனும் இலக்கு இல்லாமல்
அலசடிப் படுவது வாழ்வும் அல்ல
பயனற்ற விதத்தில் பல செயல் செய்து
பயனற்றுப் போனோர் பலரும் உண்டு
சிலவற்றைச் சிறப்பாய்ச் செய்து
மேன்மை அடைந்தோர் நம்மிடை உண்டு
ஓடி உழைத்து பார்த்தவரெல்லாம்
ஓய்ந்து போகும் காலமும் உண்டு
உழைப்பில் விருப்பம் இல்லாதவரும்
சுறுசுறுப்படையும் காலமும் உண்டு
செய்வது சிறிதாய் இருந்த போதும்
சிந்தை அதிலே ஒருமிக்க வேண்டும்
அலட்சியமாக பலவற்றைச் செய்ய
பயனற்றுப் போகும் வாழ்வும் கூட
மத்திகிரி, 14-12-2015, மதியம் 2.00
137. Meaningful endeavour.
I need to get the pleasure remaining inactive
And attain that status of forgetting my surroundings
Not thinking that all are possible for me
I should think which one is more fruitful
Remaining ‘inactive’ is not laziness
Become hyper active is not toiling
Without having some goal to achieve
Merely get tossed is not real living
Many wasted their life
By doing many thing without having any result
Some reached great height
By doing few things very correctly
The time will come to retire
Who always remained very busy
And those who remained inactive
Will also become very busy
What we do might be very small
But we need to concentrate on it
Life too will become a mere waste
When we do things carelessly
Mathigiri, 14-12-2015, 2.00 pm
Song 138
As my back pain increased, I found it difficult to manage so many things. As I have to buy provisions etc. and also to go to the ashram for the forthcoming year end meeting, I was a bit perplexed how I am going to manage. But I realized that now knowing my limitations I should do what I could do and in over enthusiasm I should not do which will become more a burden than a blessing to others. I strongly believe in this saying that ‘blessed is one who knows his limitation’. So when I was thinking about this, I wrote this song.
138 ஊர்கூடி இழுக்கணும்
என்னாலே முடியாது என்பது தெரியுது
எதற்கு வீண் வம்பு என்பதும் புரியுது
சும்மாவேனும் சங்கை ஊதிக் கெடுத்தான் போல
செய்வதால் எல்லோர்க்கும் தொந்தரவாய் ஆகுது
நமக்கென்ன என்று இருக்கவும் முடியாது
நான்னென்ன புலம்பினும் காரியம் ஆகாது
ஊர்கூடித் தேர் இழுப்பது அல்லாமல்
சிலர்கூடி தள்ளிட சற்றேனும் நகராது
தன் பங்கைச் செய்வதாய் எண்ணியே சில நேரம்
தனியாகச் செய்தால் பலனேதும் கிடையாது
பலர்கூடி செய்ய வருகின்ற நேரத்தில்
ஒரு கைக் குறைந்தாலும் காரியம் நடக்காது
ஊரோடு ஒத்துப் போய் தான் ஆகணும்
ஒவ்வொருர் தன் பங்கைச் செய்துதான் ஆகணும்
என்னாலே முடியாது என்று ஒதுங்காமல்
இயன்றதை புலம்பாமல் செய்துதான் ஆகணும்
20-12-2015, மத்திகிரி, இரவு, 11.15
138 Cart need to be dragged collectively
I know that it is not possible for me
And understand that it is an unnecessary strain
Like the one who spoil the game
If we act (alone) then it becomes troublesome for everyone
I cannot keep quiet from not involving
However I lament things won’t be accomplished (only by me)
Unless others join to drag the cart
Pushed by few it won’t move even few inches
Thinking that I will do my share
If done alone by one, it won’t be useful
When others come together to do their part
Even if one person is absent then things cannot be accomplished
We need to go along with others
Each one need to do her part
Not avoiding thinking that it is not possible by me
We need to do what we can do without lamenting.
20-12-2015, Mathirigi, 11.15, pm.
Song 139
As my back pain continued, I was a bit worried and wondered how I am going to manage my future life, if such physical impediment continues to come. One by one unexpected things began to develop in my life—particularly in the area of health. I was very proud and even a bit arrogant a few years before that I never became seriously sick. But as the body refuses to co-operate I often recall those arrogant thoughts. At that time I wrote this song.
139. நெருக்கடி
இந்த ரகசியம் எவர்தான் அறிவார்
அதைச் சொன்னாலும் எவர் தான் புரிவார்
உணர்ந்து பார்த்தோர் வாதம் செய்யார்
உணராதவரோ நம்ப மறுப்பார்
நெருக்கடி என்பது சொல்லி வராது
நேரம் காலம் பார்த்து வராது
எதிர்பாரா நேரத்தில் எவரையும் தாக்கும்
எப்படியேனும் நம்மை வீழ வைக்கும்
தன்பெலன் மீது நம்பிக்கை வைத்தும்
துணைவலி எத்தனை தொடர்ந்து வந்தும்
எதிர்ப்பவர் என்பவர் இல்லா போதும்
சடுதியில் வீழ்வது எவர்க்கும் வந்திடும்
சேர்த்து வைத்தது எத்தனை இருந்தும்
சோதனை தாங்கும் மனநிலை இருந்தும்
இதற்கு முன் எத்தனை அனுபவம் இருந்தும்
இமைக்கும் முன் வீழ்த்திடும் நிலையும் வந்திடும்
இதை உணர்ந்தார் ஒன்றை அறிவர்
தன் குறை-நிறைகளை ஏற்றுக் கொள்வர்
அதன்படி அனுதின வாழ்வையும் அமைத்து
ஆனமட்டும் வாழ்ந்து முடிப்பர்
23-12-15, குருகுலம். இரவு 7.00
139. Crises
Who will know this secret?
Who will understand even if we tell them?
Those who experienced won’t argue
And those who have never experienced it will refuse to believe it.
Crisis will never come informing well in advance
And it won’t come seeing good day or time
It will attack anyone unexpectedly
And will defeat us by any means
Though one keeps faith in her own strength
And however other supports to accompany
And even if there is none to oppose
Downfall will come to anyone suddenly
Though many things are accumulated
And even having a heart to face trials
However one might have previous experiences
A situation will come where one will fall even before the blink of the eye
Those who understood will know one thing
They will accept their strength and weakness
And planning the life accordingly
Somehow will complete life.
23-12-15, Gurukulam, 7.00 pm.
Song 140
However we try to accommodate others’ needs, sentiment and expectations, understanding their limitations, there is no hope to satisfy those who always find fault. Though we need to step in and have to point out when they cross the Lakshman reka when they hurt us by their words and deeds, finally we alone need to change our views and attitude as fault finders are not going to change their nature that much easily. This is true when we serve elderly people (particularly when we too become old), who instead of ‘responding’ often ‘react’ sharply because of their age and ailment. Even when we point out that sometimes they talk and behave without understanding our situation and limitations, they are not ready to accept it, because they are not in a position to understand. So there is no point of lamenting or blaming them or accusing anyone. Once we make a commitment to serve, in spite of the treatment that we receive we need to continue our seva, only learning the lesson that we should not do what they do to us, when we come to their stage receiving the seva of others.
@In the second stand stanza the last two words are translated differently. Only those who know this Tamil proverb understand the point here. So to give the inferred meaning I translated differently. The story behind the proverb is this:
Three people were walking through a forest. That time a group of foxes stood in front of them. Then one said that if they go to their right then it is good luck for them. And the other said that only if they go to their left then it is good luck. For this the third one said, ‘let them go right or left, but if we are spared from their attack that is enough.’ Similarly we cannot expect our parents and siblings to remain THANKFUL what we do for them, as this is not expected in the Indian context. Because it is part of our dharma. But we need not be appreciated or thanked, but if we are spared from accusation, that is more than enough.
3-2-16
140.புவியின் பாடு
போதும் போதும் இந்த புவியின் பாடு
புரியாத இதற்கு முடிவு ஏது
நாடி ஓடித் தேடிப் பார்க்கையிலே
நன்மையும் தீமையும் புரியவே இல்லே
சும்மா இருந்தாலும் குத்தம் ஆச்சு
சொன்னதைச் செய்தாலும் தப்பும் ஆச்சு
வலமோ-இடமோ போக வேண்டாம்
விழுந்து பிடுங்காமல் விட்டால் போதும்
என்ன செய்தாலும் போத வில்லை
இதற்குமேல் செய்யச் தெம்பும் இல்ல
முடிந்ததை செய் என்று முதலில் சொல்வார்
முடித்தபின் குத்தம் பலவும் சொல்வார்
என்னதான் செய்வது புரிய வில்லை
எவரிடம் சொல்லியும் பயனும் இல்லை
தன் வரை செய்வது சரியான பின்
எந்த விளக்கமும் ஏற்க வில்லை
ஆனால் புலம்பியே ஆவதென்ன
ஆர்ப்பாட்டம் செய்வதால் பயனும் என்ன
அழுது புரண்டாலும் அவள்தானே பெறனும்
அதற்கு மேலாக சொல்லி என்ன?
3-2-16, மதியம் 2.55, மத்திகிரி
140. Struggle on this earth
Enough is the struggle on this earth
Where is the end to this which I cannot understand?
When I search seeking everywhere
I cannot understand what is Good or Bad?
If you keep quite then it becomes wrong
And if you do what is expected then it becomes mistake
Neither needs appreciation or gratitude
But if spared from accusation, that is more than enough
[neither needs to go to the right or to the left
But if we are spared from their attack that is more than enough]@
How much we do it is not enough for them
And we don’t have energy to more than this
First they will ask us to do which we can do
But after that they will find lots of fault
I don’t know what else I can do
There is no point of sharing this with others
Once they think that they are right
No explanation is acceptable to them
But what can be achieved by lamenting?
What is the use of making an uproar?
However she cries, finally she alone has to beget the baby
What is more to tell than this?
3-2-16, 2.55, pm. Mathigiri
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