This morning, Sri Suki Sivam’s sharing was more practical than idealistic. When he was invited to speak at a forum in Coimbatore (Nannerikkazhagam = Organization of good conduct), the President of the meeting said, “We all know what good conduct is, and no one needs to lecture on this. But my question is, ‘Why does everyone fail to implement this in life?’”
In response, Sivam started by quoting the famous Vedic saying, “Satyam vada; dharmam chara,” which is the essence of all good conduct. Valluvar further elaborated on this by saying, “No honor can ever equal truthfulness, as it yields every virtue sans efforts.”1 (Thirukkural, Tr. M. Rajaram, New Delhi, Rupa & Co. Kural, 297, 2009, 61)
Then he addressed the gathering by saying:
“If telling the truth were profitable, everyone would only tell the truth. But in real life, several occasions force people to tell a lie to avoid not only loss but also unnecessary strains in life. For example, if you say that the food served by your wife is not good, then the next day you won’t get food. And only those who do not mind such losses, like saints, can tell the truth all the time.”
He shared the story of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa’s father who had to flee his village, leaving behind 60 acres of land and a comfortable life because he refused to give false witness as demanded by the Zamindar of his village. Since he didn’t want to lie, he left, incurring great loss. But not everyone can do that.
He also noted an interesting reaction from the audience when he shared this story; several faces fell as they didn’t like to hear such truths.
“Yesterday evening, one of my shishyas came with his colleague to see me. I cooked and served dinner. After eating, that young man said, ‘Swamiji, really it is nice food.’ In response, I smiled and said, ‘Even if it were bad, you would still say it’s wonderful.’ Not expecting this from me, he asked, ‘Then what else can we say? Should we keep quiet?’”
“Of course, I cook well, and if you don’t believe me, come and taste it. However, idealism versus reality is a fact of life. Even saints, who have nothing to lose and have found fullness in God, may find themselves compelled not to tell the whole truth when others’ safety and security are at stake. They may uphold truth in their personal lives, but when another’s life is in jeopardy, they may not disclose the whole truth.” As Valluvar said in the chapter on ‘Truthfulness’:
“Even untruth has the stamp of truthfulness
If it brings good sans harmfulness.”2 (Kural 292), ibid. p. 60
“In everyday life, when we cannot express our true opinion or comment on certain things, there are other ways to communicate that.
“For example, I learned this from an American. I do a lot of cross-stitch work. Once, instead of using the conventional method, I invented another method that consumes a lot of time and careful work. When I sought her opinion, she said, ‘It is very interesting.’ With a laugh, I said, ‘That’s a good way of saying it’s not good.’ I heard her use ‘It’s very interesting’ when she does not like the taste of some food.”
“Similarly, when I really appreciate a good feast, I would say, ‘Thanks. I ate to my full capacity. Give me your special recipe so that I can try it again.This is the Indian way of expressing thanks, and every host expects the guest to eat to their satisfaction.” [See Thanks Giving in my Blog. Soon to be posted]
“So life does not always follow an either/or formula. There are gray areas. Similarly, we need not lie or speak only half-truths. Through communication, we can make others understand our position on any given matter or situation.”
When it comes to Ethics it is very complicated even to any scholar. So one has to listen to her own consciousness which might prick her3 if she went overboard and also the way her personal ethics and moral idealism would affect others. Upholding strict personal ethics when it comes one’s personal loss is saintly. But when it affects others, then relativism could be the best option. See more on this: Ethical Idealism and Moral Dilemma in my blog: https://dayanandbharati.in/ethical-idealism-and-moral-dilemma/
Dayanand Bharati
12-07-14
1. பொய்யாமை பொய்யாமை ஆற்றின் அறம் பிற
செய்யாமை செய்யாமை நன்று (குறள், 297)
2. பொய்மையும் வாய்மை இடத்தபுரை தீர்ந்த
நன்மை பயக்கும் எனின் (குறள், 292)
English Couplet 293:
Speak not a word which false thy own heart knows
Self-kindled fire within the false one’s spirit glows.
Couplet Explanation:
Let not a man knowingly tell a lie; for after he has told the lie, his mind will burn him (with the memory of his guilt).
தன்நெஞ்சு அறிவது பொய்யற்க பொய்த்தபின்
தன்நெஞ்சே தன்னைச் சுடும். – குறள்: 293
– அதிகாரம்: வாய்மை, பால்: அறம்
This morning, Sri Suki Sivam’s sharing was more practical than idealistic. When he was invited to speak at a forum in Coimbatore (Nannerikkazhagam = Organization of good conduct), the President of the meeting said, “We all know what good conduct is, and no one needs to lecture on this. But my question is, ‘Why does everyone fail to implement this in life?’”
In response, Sivam started by quoting the famous Vedic saying, “Satyam vada; dharmam chara,” which is the essence of all good conduct. Valluvar further elaborated on this by saying, “No honor can ever equal truthfulness, as it yields every virtue sans efforts.”1 (Thirukkural, Tr. M. Rajaram, New Delhi, Rupa & Co. Kural, 297, 2009, 61)
Then he addressed the gathering by saying:
“If telling the truth were profitable, everyone would only tell the truth. But in real life, several occasions force people to tell a lie to avoid not only loss but also unnecessary strains in life. For example, if you say that the food served by your wife is not good, then the next day you won’t get food. And only those who do not mind such losses, like saints, can tell the truth all the time.”
He shared the story of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa’s father who had to flee his village, leaving behind 60 acres of land and a comfortable life because he refused to give false witness as demanded by the Zamindar of his village. Since he didn’t want to lie, he left, incurring great loss. But not everyone can do that.
He also noted an interesting reaction from the audience when he shared this story; several faces fell as they didn’t like to hear such truths.
“Yesterday evening, one of my shishyas came with his colleague to see me. I cooked and served dinner. After eating, that young man said, ‘Swamiji, really it is nice food.’ In response, I smiled and said, ‘Even if it were bad, you would still say it’s wonderful.’ Not expecting this from me, he asked, ‘Then what else can we say? Should we keep quiet?’”
“Of course, I cook well, and if you don’t believe me, come and taste it. However, idealism versus reality is a fact of life. Even saints, who have nothing to lose and have found fullness in God, may find themselves compelled not to tell the whole truth when others’ safety and security are at stake. They may uphold truth in their personal lives, but when another’s life is in jeopardy, they may not disclose the whole truth.” As Valluvar said in the chapter on ‘Truthfulness’:
“Even untruth has the stamp of truthfulness
If it brings good sans harmfulness.”2 (Kural 292), ibid. p. 60
“In everyday life, when we cannot express our true opinion or comment on certain things, there are other ways to communicate that.
“For example, I learned this from an American. I do a lot of cross-stitch work. Once, instead of using the conventional method, I invented another method that consumes a lot of time and careful work. When I sought her opinion, she said, ‘It is very interesting.’ With a laugh, I said, ‘That’s a good way of saying it’s not good.’ I heard her use ‘It’s very interesting’ when she does not like the taste of some food.”
“Similarly, when I really appreciate a good feast, I would say, ‘Thanks. I ate to my full capacity. Give me your special recipe so that I can try it again.This is the Indian way of expressing thanks, and every host expects the guest to eat to their satisfaction.” [See Thanks Giving in my Blog. Soon to be posted]
“So life does not always follow an either/or formula. There are gray areas. Similarly, we need not lie or speak only half-truths. Through communication, we can make others understand our position on any given matter or situation.”
When it comes to Ethics it is very complicated even to any scholar. So one has to listen to her own consciousness which might prick her3 if she went overboard and also the way her personal ethics and moral idealism would affect others. Upholding strict personal ethics when it comes one’s personal loss is saintly. But when it affects others, then relativism could be the best option. See more on this: Ethical Idealism and Moral Dilemma in my blog: https://dayanandbharati.in/ethical-idealism-and-moral-dilemma/
Dayanand Bharati
12-07-14
1. பொய்யாமை பொய்யாமை ஆற்றின் அறம் பிற
செய்யாமை செய்யாமை நன்று (குறள், 297)
2. பொய்மையும் வாய்மை இடத்தபுரை தீர்ந்த
நன்மை பயக்கும் எனின் (குறள், 292)
English Couplet 293:
Speak not a word which false thy own heart knows
Self-kindled fire within the false one’s spirit glows.
Couplet Explanation:
Let not a man knowingly tell a lie; for after he has told the lie, his mind will burn him (with the memory of his guilt).
தன்நெஞ்சு அறிவது பொய்யற்க பொய்த்தபின்
தன்நெஞ்சே தன்னைச் சுடும். – குறள்: 293
– அதிகாரம்: வாய்மை, பால்: அறம்
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